Hard Launch Podcast Ep #47 Our Baby is One Year Old (PLUS BONUS YAP)

i lowkey use the mid sized spoon for everything 😭

In my defense as a sock shoe sock shoe person, I have ouchie joints and doing it all at once is easier

I LOVE BEING A PATRON you guys are amazing, it means everything to me that I get to directly suppot yall in this new era. The pod has been so much fun and makes daily life more exciting ^_^ i cant believe its already been A YEAR!!!

the fratellis (chelsea dagger) is the chicago blackhawks goal song, so it was most likely a reference to that!

guys they played chelsea dagger in chicago bc it's their nhl's team goal song lol

the fratellis in chicago actually makes sense because chelsea dagger is what plays at every blackhawks game LOL

also dan you are not weird for the car accident thing! i could totally see myself doing that

have you send out all the membership cards yet? i havent gotten mine still

I sent this Beat of the Week to my brother, thinking “this is right up his alley, maybe i’ll introduce him to something new for once” and he went “oh i love 300skulls, dan tapped in for this one!” 😂

One guest you could do is for sure Louise!! Love the three of you together!

🫰

If you don't get Louise on this podcast STAT

Phil should definitely try New Haven pizza next time they're in Connecticut!

The producers as guests!!! I'd love to get to know them better

my vote for guests is nana howell AGAIN

girls the huzz does not mean husband

Honourable mention for iconic line: “Friday night am I right brother?”

Honestly the Mary Berry vocal stim from Phil was all I needed to justify the cost of the pham tier 😂

Public Universal Slit

My cat's name is Potassium lol

wdym my hole name is BOY CRATER 😭😭😭

my hole name is boy nothing💔

Anthony Padilla on the podddddd please

I am an occasional social nudist and wearing shoes while naked does indeed make you feel more naked even if you’re a little used to it. 😂

The Fratelis were playing on the boat playlist because their song Dan was singing is the goal song for the Chicago Blackhawks!

I love how much you guys love Chicago omg please come back again! having you in my city makes my heart so full

I can't believe you guys also eat cereal with teaspoons!! I thought I was the only one. I take it a step further though and basically only use teaspoons when I eat with a spoon (except soup where I use one of those Asian type soup spoons). I find tablespoons to be too big.

I feel more parasocially connected to yall after the spoon conversation. YOU GET IT 😭 this is the hill I will die on DEATH TO BIG CUTLERY

my hole name is ragged mouth thank u phil

I do sock shoe, sock shoe, because I don’t want my sock to touch the ground after I put it on, catch any particles, and transfer them to my shoes

Need to bring Phil’s mom on the podcast and address the lobster rumors

to the misfortune of the people around me, i have added "theres a man in the room", "kicked their pussy up the wall" and the occasional "friday night am i right brother?" to my vocabulary. i wouldnt change a thing tho. love you guys <3

Chicago resident here! 1. We don’t like Malort either. It’s a weird ritual we’re sorry 🫠 2. Next time get tavern style pizza we like it more than deep dish 3. Chelsea Dagger is the Blackhawks goal scoring song shoutout to y’all for unknowingly participating in hockey culture 😂

watching this fresh from one of my oshi's graduating... the emotional whiplash is sending me

you guys should have josh from mythical kitchen on!

Which one of us is going to break it to Phil that a year is, in fact, 52 weeks?

wild lore- I eat everything with a teaspoon (even soups)

On the topic of absolute batshit underwater life - Phil I need you to know about the scaly-foot gastropod It’s a snail made of metal that lives in underwater volcanic trenches Its basically a real life Pokémon

one year of not seeing myself on the list of patreons💔

Chelsea Dagger is the Chicago Blackhawks' (Hockey) goal song! That's why it was in the playlist

fuji 4 podcast guest 2027

Seeing either Louise or Tommy on the pod would be Awesomeee

sock shoe sock shoe is just more efficient

there have been MULTIPLE bed stories, not just the two 😂 there was the wet bedding, the dream about fem boy Dan leading the revolution, phil being noisy while jetlagged, and I could go on.

Please bring back the different colored background for the Patreon, I need to be able to skip to it after watching the phodcast on YouTube

Special Guest ideas: Louise, PJ, Anthony Padilla, Cattrific, and other old YouTube friends :3

Hi Phriends I'm looking to send a voice note, have they stopped to take them because I don't see the email address anymore ?

“good lord/oh my lord” omg IVE been saying that for a good few months now…. did they get it from me??!? Lmfao jk

“and if you know you’re in it, for another year, with us” oh phil i’ve been here for 15 years now, fully half my lifetime, i’m sure i can do another year of patreon 😂😭🩷

Right, late comment, but for what it’s worth, I’m 30, and tripped and fell/(“had a fall”) last week as well 😭 2 times in 1 day actually, I was wearing loose flowy pants and tripped over them HARD AF twice in a day.. first time was bad enough and i was scraped up already… the second time i literally laid there on the sidewalk for like 20 seconds and contemplated my whole life…. It was like a whole week ago now, and my elbow/knee are still scraped to shit, i was sore all over for like 48 hours afterwards….. All this to say…… Phil’s 9 years older than me, I can 10000% understand a “hard fall” 😂😭

Mines boy pocket seriosly I’m a girl too that’s sooo funny

Love the "yeah?" "Yeah" "yeah?" "Yeah" "yeah?" Yeah" with Phil increasing intensity

why did i get so sad over richard being alone

louise pj and tyler oakley please. please i beg !!!

The phroducers absolute CACKLING in the background while Dip and Pip are telling the hole story makes it even funnier lmao

You should have PJ on the podcast if you can! He'd be able to keep up with the both of you lol

imagine they manage to get jenna marbles to guest on the phod

My hole name is girl nook 💕 kind of love it she’s cozy and well read

Plz omg if yall do ever get guests I beg of you to do the basementyard

Siphonophores are my favorite deep sea creature, I’m so glad that word is in the Phan lexicon now

I fall frequently, it’s okay Phil. My cane falls almost as much as me. Oh, and I’m 25 😆

WOWWOW I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!! THE TINIER THE SPOON THE BETTER. everything just tastes better when you savour it!!

Teaspoon cereal omg I feel so seen!!!!!

Ik this has basically all been said before but,, Do you ever think about the silver lining of it all? That you fell in love with someone so passionately that your love RADIATED off the screen of a youtube video? That even strangers who knew nothing about you could see how much love you had for each other when you looked at each other?? That you and your bf had chemistry so good that you got job offers?? That your partner is so FUNNY people call him the funniest man alive?? That your partner is so HOT that boys AND girls want to be him?? That you're both SO HOT FUNNY TALENTED and have SUCH GOOD CHEMISTRY that people have been making art inspired by you for over a DECADE?? That people are FOAMING AT THE MOUTH for a video of you and your partner sitting on the floor and yapping while you eat pizza??!!???! Not to diminsh any of the traumatic bullshit you went through. That sucked and you should never have had to deal with that. But now, you've told your amazing love story SO WELL, that you have a whole new GENERATION of fans. Now you get to travel the world with the love of your life and celebrate being FREE and GAY and HAPPY with EVERYONE. Like omg. In the end, seems like you are winning🫶

my hole name is Girl Entry and damn I guess it is 😭

YOU GUYS. The Fratelli’s song “Chelsea Dagger” is the theme song of the Chicago Blackhawks NHL hockey team!!! That’s why it was played on the speed boat. 100%

Martyn as a guest????!!!!!!!!

that fratellis song is the blackhawks song! (chicago hockey team)

dads please release more phocktail videos ❤️

PLEASE have louise on as a guest

PLEASE HAVE MYTHICAL JOSH ON AS A GUEST AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY TALK

Tea spoons are the top tier spoon. I will never use a bigger spoon no matter what I'm eating

I once fell and cut my hand deep enough that it needed 6 stitches, but my first instinct was making sure my glasses didn't get scratched (yes, with a bloody hand), so I can relate to phil's priorities

I EAT CEREAL WITH A TEASPOON TOO

Does anybody else remember the video where phil sang hit me baby one more time with carrie hope fletcher?

not me being misgendered by the hole quiz... girl crater 😐

get phil's mom's neighbor on the phodcast

dan and phil and basement yard is the only male podcast energy match

FRATELLIS MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 CHELSEA CHELSEA I BELIEVE 💯💯🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥🔥

PJ should be the next guest pls!!!

i always eat my cereal with a teaspoon so thank you for the representation 🖤

detroit winning the pizza ranking is the highlight of my year

the only other guest i WANTTTTT on the pod is anthony padilla i welcome everyone ofc but i think i wpuld be the most excited for anthony

There is no way in hell it's been a year.

i can be a guest on the pod if u want. i think it would be pretty fun!

You should have Garret Watts on your pod! Weird, Gay and Funny?! Perfection✨️

"imagine having a naked bare foot and then a shoe on" working in ABA has taught me that this is in fact the dream of many an autistic child

I actually laughed so hard in my room that my parents felt the need to check on me and my [mostly] deaf dog started barking from downstairs 🤣 thanks for the amazing year guys! I might not always watch on the Monday but just the little upload notification makes me happier ❤️

Chicago pizza is the thin stuff. Deep dish is its own thing

Shoutout to chicago

I love this thank you

I love you guys! Thank you! The Ohio show was the best!!!!

CHICAGOAN LORE DROP! Chelsea Dagger was on the playlist because that's the song that plays when the Blackhawks (our hockey team) scores a goal!!!

one year later and my name still hasn’t popped up in the end credits🥀but i’m determined to see it i look every week lol

can you have garret watts on the phod? I think you guys would get along you are all nerdy and very tall

thank you for bringing back beat of the week!!!

love that you guys tried malort lmao it tastes like that because it was originally made during prohibition so when the cops would try to bust people for having alcohol they would be like “try this do you really think people are paying to drink this?”

Finally other tea spoon for cereal truthers, I feel so seen

PJ and Sophie would be great guests to have on! It could be cool to hear more about projects they have helped with like the calendar and Danandphilcrafts.

Ngl I do like the idea of more guests

jeez Louise mercy pleaseeeee (Louise third plz)

I’ve been Hard for an entire year straight? I should call her…… (Her being my gynecologist)

My boyfriend named his bat after Davis

I always use teaspoons and also have a phreaky mid way spoon

My hole name is Boy Pore… gender affirming I suppose?

I like a small spoon with an unreasonably long handle

Would love to have PJ!! Yall cpuld talk about all the projects youve done together over the years

I'm so glad your hard launch was successful and liberating. Thank you for sharing some of your happiness with us. I hope that this tour will be everything you dreamed of and more. P. S. As a reader of the heated rivalry books I am so excited for you guys to see season two!

bring louise on the showww!!

actually I!!! needed this podcast 🙏 it is my weekly lunchbreak companion and keeps me sane as i try to avoid as many people as possible for an hour ❤️‍🩹

GUEST REQUEST THREAD!:

Sooo btw peeps... Have y'all received your membership cards?

Please get Louise on!

im autistic and only use teaspoons #nicherepresentation

dropping out of uni after 2 days was worth it because now i can afford the phatreon

Not to be dramatic but getting hard every Monday is one of the few things that's gotten me through the past year and given me something to look forward to each week when I feel like there's nothing else 🤍

YO IM FINALLY ON THE PATREON LIST AFTER 47 EPISODES 😭💙

ian and anthony would be cool for the phodcast

the dentist story was funny weird but imo i don't think its thats weird, i would do something like that and hide behind a dumpster to avoid going into a class too

I really want Martyn to be a guest on the phodcast. Enjoyed him when he went on Phil's Stereo series in 2020. Besides him seeming like such a genuinly nice and entertaining guy, I can't even begin to imagine the kind of glorious northern anecdote drops we might get.

This is almost a Simpsons clip show

Phil’s mum on the Phod when??!!

The funniest thing for phil to have done in the moment Dan was recounting the clown porn incident was to ask him to look up clown porn again

uhh dnp play rollercoaster tycoon WHEN

Louise on the pod PLEASE

happy one year what is this audio mixing am i crazy

Seeing the discount after I just paid for another month 😭😂

A year of subscription and watching and FINALLY my user name shows up on the end screen!

The midsized teaspoon I have never felt so seen

It was a very relatable exaple the dentist story!!! My gf and I use it as reference of our level of panic in a situation 🤣💖 I feel it's a very neurodivergent response in my opinion

The moment they mentioned the Phaetreon anniversary as well was when I ended up getting it (and rewatching this podcast on the Patreon app already so I hope the possible lost watchtime on YouTube is made up by the subscription) after receiving the discount code in the mail in the morning and having been considering subscribing to the Pham tier for a while now I just couldn't keep being stubborn

Happy hard phanniversary! I would love to see Louise as a guest. Also just have to say - fantastic job on Last Meals!! It made my night

I would loooooove PJ and Sophie as guests!!

I can't wait for Mondays!!!!😍😍

The spoon conversation has made me feel unbelievably seen can we just abolish anything bigger than teaspoons

Quaking as a Toronto foodie. You truly are influencers bc I’ve been putting off trying Prime Seafood Palace after being horrifically disappointed by his burger place and that metallic monstrosity of a boxed Mac and cheese he makes. I however will concede and try it now.

“tax deductible clown porn” is not a phrase that i ever thought i’d hear in my life

I fell into the siphonophore rabbit hole because of the richard help

Am I the only one noticing Dan constantly using "Friday night am i right brother?" like that's the new 100% in my mind

I can’t believe it’s been a year!

I hope the straight man on the tour bus knows he's in the presence of royalty

i also quit university after one lecture due to a panic attack :D i enrolled in astronomy but i started late so all the students already knew each other i cried on the way there, contemplated going home, sat through the lecture, went home and never came back

my hole name is Shallow Nothing

still riding the high that was davis being at the Akron Ohio show

"Wig flew off" 😭😭😭

Oh my god get PJ and Sophie on the pod!

Yo, some of us HATE SOCKS

The Dan Clones are the leftovers from the Tomska video... oh my god guys

When the Hard Launch happened last year, I was going through a really tough time at work. I literally dread the start of the work week and got very depressed every Sunday night. It sounds weird to say, but the podcast coming out every Monday was the only thing I was looking forward to. It seems like a small thing but the promise of listening to a 40 minute light-hearted conversation between you two on the way home from work got me through the anxiety I felt every Monday morning. It was my reward for getting through the day. So thank you lads 😊🙏🏾

I'd love to see Louise ✨

Still haven’t found myself mention in random followers 🤔

omg you should have louise (sprinkleofglitter) on the podcast! ya'lls dynamic is unmatched

one of these days i NEED Daniel to actually talk and yap about where he finds his cute lil outfits, i wanna get in on that, like bro come on give us a lil yap on the phatreon, give us a lil outfit tour!!!

Honorable mention for most iconic hard launch has to be the person who said they’re joining the black parade and you could hear them AT THE CONCERT during wttbp

The way that getting taken to church against your will as a child is so common in the southern US I didn’t even blink when Phil said that

halloween philm club is going to save me🙌

bring your 6 friends on as guests and give them the chance to tell embarrassing stories about you as payback, fairs fair

i saw you in hartford!!!! flat rat is the real ct lmao

*trying to forget that i couldn’t go to the ct show* this pod: 😔😔😔😔

phil this isn’t on this video but from an ARFID girly rly struggling with it rn tysm for acknowledging ARFID in the last meal video you guys did 🥲 and dan for understanding it’s a mental health / eating disorder thing!

beat of the week vid is literally just summer in the city 2011

special interest engaged: you can’t come for my favourite band like that ;-; they have other songs that are less obnoxious and really good (like all 3 versions of Laughing Gas) also idk if it’s still the case but Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis was/is the Chicago Blackhawks (ice hockey team) goal song. also also the song is named after his wife, which Chelsea Dagger was her burlesque name, which is a play on Britney Spears feel free to ignore all this but i needed to comment for my own sake

Teaspoon fucking supremacy

Bummed they didn’t talk about Philadelphia but they were here super briefly so. Makes sense. I do wanna know if Dan did “get a Philly inside him” later and if so where he bought it.

can we get a dan and phil react to the clip of dan winking at the camera when lousie says phil as a girlfriend

I want Phil to propose to Dan via Richard's balls.

Hello! First time on the Patreon!

I eat cereal & desserts with a mid size tea spoon, can confirm it’s the best 😂🙌

my boyfriend decided to take a speaker phone call right at dan said they hit the second goon tower or whatever he said

Is anyone going to Nashville or would want to buy a ticket or Atlanta and would like to sell a ticket?

Miles Bonsignore who hosts the Perfect Person podcast would be a fabulous collaboration when they’re in LA! He’s a silly billy of about the same age with a large lesbian following. His new series Ghoul Scouts has similar vibes to the first ghost hunting video

5 Claire’s listed and yet one day the Claire will be me 😩

does anyone else have a car dan & phil (my shiny card is taped next to my speedometer)

Why did “a shit bowl with a nipple” make me laugh so much?!?! 😂

i will refer to pink as mild red from now on

The way sprites in that photo look like a bigfin squid (the ones that look like a puppeteer at the bottom of the sea)

You NEED to get Louise on the phodcast

@22:00 Dan thinking Phil was wearing a wig when they met has the same energy as in Midnight Sun when Edward was in the field counting bugs to avoid thinking about Bella’s everything. From the other’s perspective; magical moment.

oh man, the mid sized spoon is peak, I love mine, too!

As an asexual person, endless nothing feels like the perfect name for my hole, thanks Phil

45:55 cackling. I got Endless Nothing

Peruvian pisco???!!! Controversial topics this week

guys i never wear socks at home....... australia ...... sorry

need the phroducers as guests actually

i think this has been the best year i've had in a long time in no small part thanks to yous so cheers for that and happy pirthday, keep being weird

i am admittedly very mentally abnormal but i will say i am sometimes a sock-shoe-sock-shoe person and the reason why is that i can't drive, so if i'm getting ready to go out somewhere there's a possibility that i will be interrupted in the middle of putting on my shoes, in which case i'd rather go outside in one shoe and one bare foot than get my socks dirty on the outdoor ground. oh yeah and i only wear shoes for pain management and health and safety purposes bc i overheat easily so i'm a barefooter in the house. i forgot some people socks around casually

Lol I need to hear the thoughts about Boston

Cereal with a teaspoon is s tier, I'm so glad other people are appropriately hyped about it

PJ on the pod!!!!

so fucking VALIDATED right now, hello??? i've been eating everything with a teaspoon since i had the physical motor skills to hold one and it's just the way. whose fucking mouth is big enough for a big spoon? why not have the perfect portion? why not make it last longer? thank you dan and phil i'll be pulling this vid up if my brother even tries to ridicule me over this again. he's also an ex-phannie so hopefully it'll hold more weight idk

Torn Passage is my hole name 😬

i am a sock shoe sock shoer. this is because i don't like bare socks on the floor

While the shoe hard launch was on I was legit doing what the husband was! I didn't realize I consciously do sock, shoe, sock, shoe. But I think it's because I sit on a chair and I wear bedroom flip flops so I always have a flip flop on one foot while getting sock, shoe on other. It makes it easier for me to not walk around room in socks which I do not like the feeling of due to that feeling being an aversion for me. And I don't have to tie my shoes because they are slip ons [skechers] so ... it really is the matter of seconds between. IDK doesn't seem super odd to me

shoutout to patreon user "phil's credit card number" for making it in the credits this ep

I feel the most seen ever by the fact these two men eat cereal with a teaspoon. ITS GOATED PEOPLE!

I also eat cereal with a teaspoon, they are the best spoon!

I thought everyone ate cereal with a teaspoon until I was about 19. I still don't get it why someone would eat breakfast with a big spoon because i can't bear the teeth clunk and its just too much at once.

We all need to acknowledge that Phil had a fall and is being very brave about it.

You should try an Italian Beef in Chicago next time. You gotta have it with the wet bread.

Happy phanniversary! But also why is there so many individual zooms in this episode😭

there was a great octonauts episode about siphonophores. because of that, im not worried about them because theyre very cute and also if they came up high enough for you to meet them then they would burst from the lack of pressure.

I am so happy as a middle spoon almost teaspoon cereal person

It's been a whole year since I made the best financial decision of my life. Can't wait to see what year 2 brings

Glad we covered small spoon for cereal edging I feel seen

BTW teaspoons are GOATED for eating ice cream!! my grandpa used to do it so you could make it last longer and savor it and i love it for brainfreeze protection

Phil needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap. Honestly though, that sounds like something that would happen to me. It's crazy that it's been a year of the podcast. Time isn't real. Not the homophobic pillow separating the two of you. RIP. Phil says trepidatious and Dan combusts. Love it. "17 years and it's not getting old" devastating. Always love hearing you talk about the Mounties and their dogs. Aww it's lovely that your mom is coming to visit you on tour in the US. The sleepover and going to church the next day thing is so common in the US. Whether you were baptized or not, that was something that happened a fair bit. But I still hate that that happened to you Phil. The Pirthday is low-key cursed, but sure. "We Raised You and We're Sorry" fair, but not all of us. A lot of us are closer to you in age too, so glad you didn't do that one. So many people call it The Phodcast anyway as shorthand. Yeah so glad you didn't call it the Phan Cave. It was the anniversary of Lady Door last week by the way. Good to have that work/life balance. Lots of anniversaries in short succession - hard launch, podcast, patreon, your first meeting, so much happens this time of year. Ahh I'm so excited for all the spooky content coming up! And HR s2 is going to be so good. You're not prepared for what's coming, so warning now brace yourselves. Ahh the Phoscars! A little II callback - love it. No the dentist story was so good! No the wig story was so cute. We all loved it and found it so endearing. I will give you the long video essay about boundaries and not doing couples content and then doing the exact opposite, but it's so fun and it's good to experiment and figure out what works best for you. It'll take trial and error sometimes, it's just harder to do that in the public eye unfortunately. Yeah I agree on the neighbors mystery. So many good options for the biggest misunderstanding category. That was a tough one to pick. "Tax deductible clown porn" absolutely dead. Yes! Davis! Love all your little sayings that then make me aware that I have the same ones that I weirdly enough developed on my own. "Kicked her pussy up the wall" is definitely one of the best. It's breached containment and I'm low-key surprised you haven't done merch for it yet. Love it when you argue about the color. Phil is correct this time, sorry Dan. Ahh ocean topic! It's for me! Dying at the pregnancy HL Agree with you on the sock and shoe debate - sock, sock, shoe, shoe is correct. I will be having no bananas ever (they are to me what cheese is to Phil). Can't relate. Dying at dropping out of college because you can't find the classroom. I got so lost all the time when I first went to college, even with the tours and maps. It was a lot, so I can relate, but I stuck it out. Always love your crazy stories and shenanigans Dan. No Dan, let Phil give you the compliment. We're proud of you too! Veronica was the best guest ever. You should have PJ on at some point. That would be fun. Aww you're so cute. The sappy ending <3. Malort is more or less just a rite of passage kind of thing. It's generally not liked haha. That's definitely not our only drink. Not by a longshot. The Bean is such a fun thing to visit. And you have to take weird pictures with it. I don't make the rules. And ahh I love that you had such a good time here! The river and the lake are the best, but also dangerous as fuck. People don't realize that. And "New York y but less stressful" yeah. That's one of the reasons why we're called the Second City. Loved the Simlish interlude there. Your pizza ranking makes me sad Phil, but I get it. And ahh was it the Seadog? I wasn't sure if that was still running when you were here, but it must've been warm enough. Because yes, that's the playlist. It's pretty much always been the same. I always loved going on it as a kid, but haven't been in ages. Nose to nose singing Britney Spears though is iconic. Love it so much. Always so nice when you find a new meal to call the best one you ever had. Food experiences really can be the best thing in the world. Love hearing about your crazy time in Toronto. Beat of the Week sounds whack in the best way. There are spoon allegations by the way in case you didn't know. I also hate mugs with tiny handles. Truly the worst. These chats bring me so much joy and sometimes they're the main thing that gets me through my day (especially right now). So thank you!

Help why is my hole Ragged Nothing

fratellis is painfully chicago (apparently its the song they play when their hockey team scores)— cant hear it without thinking of living there with my abusive ex gf anways fuck the blackhawks

happy one year anniversary to the best financially irresponsible decision I've ever made!

nominating "ooh my cunt" for best dan-ism at next years phoscars. added to my lexicon IMMEDIATELY

i can't believe it was a year already

Unlikely you’ll ever see this BUT when you’re in Sydney you guys NEED to go to Tottis and have the BREAD!!!

Gay connecting Hard in a Hard Ford, Connecticut. Phil had a phall and birphed the phaby after a year of phreggers, congratulations!

I thought the Unresolved Mystery was going to be the missing house (?) key that was briefly debated about one episode lmao

also trixie and/or katya if that could line up??? could you imagine how many new gays would sign up to the phatreon

dan and phil thinking that huzz means husband lol

I love how neither the biggest regret nor the most unnecessary overshare is the colonic irrigation story 😂

All the Chicago boat talk reminded me of the Dave Matthew’s band incident… good lord…

Small spoons are factually the best for cereal

i dont find the denist story relatable but i certainly didnt think badly of dan for doing it or sharing the story

Thank you for coming to CT 😭🙏🏻 (no one ever comes here) the show was so good the friend I brought (who had never seen you guys) is now a huge Phan!

Richard being one of the youngest of the phildren and being trusted to manage the whole phasement... they grow up so fast ;-;

Bean there? Peas on earth?

They filmed this in the backrooms

reminds me of jamie T!!!!!!!

i only use baby spoons and forks!!!!!!

my hole name is "pinprick nothing" do not fucking text

If Phil's mom is coming then she should be a guest on the pod, we need to hear all her tea

was not paying attn and was like why is his bro in chicago????

Please bring in Louise

obrigado dan e phil

dan i feel the need to inform you that the reason chelsea dagger was on a chicago tourist boat's playlist is because it is the goal song for the chicago blackhawks (nhl hockey team) and so it is very much still relevant in the city ahahaha (cannot explain the hit me baby one more time other than it being an iconic popular song)

y'all my life has been infinitely better being able to look forward to seeing this show every week. it's so gratifying as a very long term phannie to see y'all thriving as much as you are :) thank you for sharing this year with us and i hope we are privileged to have more in the future! 💕

I need "No fries as surprise. Just Christ" on a sarcastic shirt

tell me why i went to look for my hole name and went "man i got gaping slit" just for phil to dunk on it too 😭😭

I’ve BEEN having cereal with a teaspoon, I knew I liked y’all for a reason

seeing a comically flattened rat on a sidewalk in hartford is the average hartford experience

There is no limit to eating bananas

I’ve been horribly sick for over a week so when Dan started malfunctioning, i genuinely thought my brain just fried itself 😭

my hole’s name is ragged entry cheezus christ

MY HOLE’S NAME IS OPEN CRACK ??? 😭😭😭

hearing them say pirthday over audio i was very confused bc i thought they were saying perth day. speaking of i need dan and phil to know that the day of the perth show is the last day of perth pride. my dad was concerned dan and phil’s showtime would be a problem bc it overlaps with the parade lmfaoooo.

I submit Trixie and Katya as phod guests. The ultimate crossover of my comfort creators.

Pleaseeeee have the basement yard on your podcast while you’re in America!!! 😁

Have Sam & Colby on and make them listen to Phil's anecdotes for 30 minutes

I made a “and I’m Davis” bracelet

I think Phil’s deep belly button deserves an honorary mention for weirdest overshare

PJ or Louise would be pretty fun guests!

someone tell phil about chicago tavern style pizza (The TRUE chicago pizza) and someone tell dan that chelsea dagger by the fratellis is a beloved chicago song due to our hockey team. anyways please speak more on my beautiful city forever thank you

I love how on the extra special pham tier after party we hear that Phil's latte was terrible and that THIS time his bagel wasn't too buttery thank GOD and then the conversation soon devolves into literal gibberish. I pay for this and you can't stop me.

Guest ideas: 1) field trip with Zac Pinsent, that ends with a full historical ensemble for you both and an atmospheric photo shoot. Zac does a great job poking fun/cerebrating men's fashion/fashion inventions/purposes throughout the ages. 2) Tour of gardens you think are cool or pretty, even just from photos from the Phasement/Phacement (SP?,) 3) the producers 4) Directors and other crew from the tour, creative allies on your journey 5) Your bus drivers 6) The bees from your garden 7) Tony Robinson (if you enjoy Time Team or anything else he's done) 8) Someone who trains/raises dogs to help you identify when your lives would align with having a pet, how to handle having a pet if you travel often and need to have them stay with an Auntie, dog training skills. Would be fun to see you work on gaining training skills with a real dog. 9) A therapist - but not YOUR therapists - who could teach some basic stress management skills (like bringing Dan's book to the screen a little bit.) 10) Lucy Darling - with Dan as her pianist and Phil as her Magician's Assistant (that combo would make a great holiday special, too.) 11) Theater folk, on what it is like as a career, and how Dan might write and produce a show, or get cast in one., and how theater unions function (if that's a thing in the UK). You could do several of these - just chat and talk with a Costumer, Makeup Artist, Stage manager, Director, Producer, Set Builder, Theatrical Insurance Agent. 13) a book publisher who has some good stories

HAPPY ONE YEAR OF BEING HARD

no yall are so real medium spoon supremacy 🙏🏼

Endless Nook here, hard launching that everything tastes better from a teaspoon.

Spread Inlet.... oh no

naming your hole being behind a paywall is insanity.. anyway im black crack

i doubt it would happen but i would pay good money to see hudson williams talk to the both of u… i fear he would match the freak

DAN. PLEASE IF YOU LIKE 300 SKULLS AND COUNTING LISTEN TO THE DALLAS COWBOYS .

Well if. you like Red Sprites, you'll love (or already know) Pecos Hank's Tube channel. Full of original music, great chat, lots of animals, and weather stuff including red sprites and lots of tornadoes. :)

Bring on PJ!!!

PJ AND SOPHIE ON THE POD AS GUESTS PLS PLS PLSSSSSSSSS

did they imply... they shared the spoon???

So you're telling me the comment Dan made about Phil's back arch did NOT win most unnecessary overshare???

Phil wearing what I HOPE are Hanna Andersson stripey pajama tops for adults is bringing the cozy vibes, the relaxed vibes, the vibes of someone whose big risk paid off emotionally and financially and hopefully, relationship-ly. :)

pj and charlotte would be great guests!

apparently my hole is called boy slit, which I suppose makes sense since I'm a trans man. ANYWAYS thnx for the podcasts :)

have i fully lost it or is phils tshirt giving 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇧🇷 / the us trying to meddle in our election...... brs alguém mais aí respirando por aparelhos nesta semana.... 🫠

Poor Richard in the phasement😭 she’s been neutered. Has no balls😭

Can this be an annual thing? I loved the phoscars

Lake Michigan mentioned makes my heart happy!!!

Ok so, I do sock-shoe sock-shoe because I have very very long legs and it becomes painful after about three seconds to bend them much or reach down etc. So while I got the one foot up on my leg, I’m gonna do the sock and shoe so I don’t have to strain to get that leg back up there a second time

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S BEEN A YEAR?!??!? CONGRATS TO THE PHOD!! I remember being so happy when it was announced. Part of my interest in Phan back then was simply watching these two cuties yap lol. And now we've gotten dnp yapping every week for a whole year!! I can't wait for more episodes and this TRULY gets me through EVERY hard monday!

YOU SHOULD HAVE LOUISE ON THE PODCAST!!!

Dan thank you for using “Sisyphean” to describe a task! It’s one of my favorite descriptors, and no one uses it!

you should get louise on the pod !!

Did you see that MUNA's tourbus burnt down. Firt Kurtis now them, are you guys nervous

i agree about the teaspoons!! i like using them when eating like a cheesecake or something

here after using discount to join phan tier mwahahaha

Dan talking about setting up the perfect classy joke badminton shot and didn't say the actual name of the shuttleCOCK?

tiny spoon ALWAYS the correct answer

re the favorite spoon size conversation... now why did they make it sound like they both share a single spoon when they eat cereal in the morning

these are obvious but the vibes would be great: PJ, Sophie (either together or separate), Louise

"And a golden pig in a pear tree"

Gah makes me so happy to hear you had a good time in Chicago! Best city in the US!!!!

you should tell all future guests what their hole names are

NOO THE DENTIST STORY IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER

Awoo to you too Phil

Re: the sock and shoe thing. One way if the house catches on fire and you have to go out and it's raining outside, both your feet will get wet. The other way, you can hop around on one foot and stay dry.

i alr liked mondays bcs i have therapy on mondays but now i love them bcs the pod comes out. happy 1 year of hard launch and happy 17th phanniversary 🫶

Teaspoon for cereal? I could never. Team big spoon, eat the cereal before it gets soggy

happy one year of the phod!!!

What's everyone hole name? I'm Spread Crack 😂

you guys have definitely made me look forward to mondays. :) very grateful for the podcast!

Love you guys so much 💜 thank you for improving my Monday afternoon with the audio of the pod and then my Tuesday morning waking up to the phatreon version.

I see the phannie witches have successfully cursed the inflatable chairs. Good job

Bananas are radioactive. However if you eat enough to die of radiation poisoning you’d have long been dead of potassium poisoning

I could only be so lucky as to not relate to the dentist story. It's one of my favorite clips from the podcast because I felt so seen. I sent it to my non-phannie friend that afternoon and she totally related/appreciated.

Guys, please invite PJ on the phodcast! I'd pay another year of phatreon just for that.

My hole name is public orifice, good lord

We need a phadmin special with the ladies as guests

PJ and Sophie on the pod WHEN

I hope Dan realizes one day the power of the cautionary tale (the dentist might not be relatable but hopefully now we’ll all avoid that level of comedic error and compounded distress)

I have sidemen Sunday and hard Mondays so it’s a good beginning of the week

Mondays were honestly some of my challenging (hardest) days prior to the podcast, so Hard Mondays have been so special and comforting to me. It makes my week so much easier to start. Thank u dads.

i eat cereal with tiny spoons because it's more bites!!! i totally agree!

When Phil says something entirely inappropriate yet completely original it’s called “Philling the niche”

the small spoon thing is so real. i eat everything with tiny dessert spoons.

phil’s shirt is giving circus tent

please bring PJ and sophie as your 4ths

GET LOUISE ON THE POD

a great guest or guests would be sean and gab!

As someone who was raised without religion in a very religious area, I heavily relate to Phil’s story about being kidnapped and taken to church without your parents knowing 🤣

we adore you both, hope you're having a great time on the road, and getting as much rest as you can. congratulations on one year of the phod, we are so proud of y'all.

I also LOVE Chicago and completely agree it's New York energy but less stressful lol

KICKTHEPJ GUEST ON THE POD

Emo Axolotl mention!!! Thank you for showing him I have missed him

sock shoe sock.shoe is the way psychopaths put on shoes. im pretty sure its been proven..

I got a concussion last week, and when they were asking me questions, the only one I could confidently answer was the date. Because it was the hard launch phanniversary.

not them thinking the huzz means husband

As someone from NY, the way you both pronounced Connecticut hurt me lmao

im on the bus home watching this and the girl next to me is annotating her bible.. i feel like were on opposite walks of life

TEASPOONS ARE THE ONLY USEABLE SPOON!!!! EVERY OTHER SPOON IS TOO BIG TO EAT WITH !!!!!

Please get Louise on the pod I’m begging you!!!

my hole name is boy passage 😁

My spouse is one of the few people I know that genuinely enjoys Malort. Once they heard a group of strangers were getting Malort shots and the group bought them a shot because they were so excited.

i should be the third actually ☝️😝

Can't believe it's been a whole year! Happy Phanniversary!!!!❤️❤️

the dentist episode is my comfort episode, don’t listen to the haters

the way i just screamed of excitement at the validation of eating cereal with a tea spoon by THE cereal connoisseurs

this is my favourite podcast episode ever, they really kicked their pussies up the wall with this one

i can't believe it has been a whole year

guest idea! Markiplier? 👀

Chicago love ❤️

Have Rhett and Link on! Collab with Rhett and Link! (If you haven’t already).

PJ and Louise def match yalls phreak

Chelsea Dagger is the Chicago Blackhawks' goal song, Chicago will never forget the Fratellis. You must simply accept this.

“we’ll see you next week!” smiles smirkingly in i’m seeing the show tomorrow

The way I want Hudson Williams on the Phodcast SO BAD. he would match the phreak fr

Wait, does this mean Scream is the confirmed next Philm Club?

happy anniversary lads!

HARDPHORD CREW RISE UP

Get Sam Reich on guys 💖

Beagles are actually usually used to find foreign foods not really drugs because they are food motivated

I feel so seen that Dan and Phil like little spoons 😭

i vote for PJ to be on an episode. he definitely matches your phreak

Tomska has been making copies of you again 🤣🤣🤣

I love you guys and this Patreon it’s my home where I get to be fun weird lesbian be

'at home me and Phil eat breakfast with a teaspoon' I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SEEN

Public slit’s communal banana 🍌

"no fries as a price just Christ".... He is a poet

hudson williams would match yalls phreak

Mums averageharry would be a lit guest

Okay also, I have been to parties with Jenny Sparks 💀💀💀

Don't care about Dan being weird lying about getting hit by a car or Phil sllamming the innuendo in our faces, as long as you eat your cereals with the correct sized spoon (the teaspoon, of course). Happy phirthday!! ❤️

Get Angela giarratana on the phodcast NOW it would be perfect I swear

Does Dan not know that his response to everything is “friday night amiright”

pl0x have PJ on the pod!!

There are people who don't eat cereal with teaspoons?!

next time you're in connecticut pls come to my coffee shop i would never let you leave unhappy 🥹

Please invite PinkPantheress on

bring editor Phil or the producers on as guests I want to know their raw unfiltered opinions of working on the podcast

Sock shoe, sock shoe is only permissible if you are putting them on in a situation where putting the unshod foot down in just a sock would get the sock wet or dirty (floor of the locker room at a pool, getting dressed in a tent while camping)

Britney broski!! Go on royal court please!!!! Or have her as a guest please!!

my hole name is boy nothing which checks out

MALORT MENTIONED

When im in a social anxiety competition and my opponent is 18 year old dan howell

1 year full year and still dont have my Phan member card😔😔😔 Okay but fr CONGRATS im LOVING the male podcast🥳🥳🥳

one thing about these guys is they will always be in some situations

Happy Phanniversary!!💜💜💜🤗🤗

No Dan the dentist story is okay we (I?)understand the snowball 😂

ugly decrepit ass couch, doesnt this hotel know anything about this podcast

You should have Tom Simons and/or Jack Manifold as guests!

PJ and Sophie for guests please!!!

I love how Phil managed to offend every US pizza state (and id argue certain parts of europe as well) with that pizza ranking.

Happy Phodiversary! 💖

finally get home and sit down to watch the pod and I immediately have to shit. what rotten luck.

i think this was my favorite podcast episode (i say this every week)

my hole name is 'boy pore breach' #whatdatmean

"It's just a shit bowl with a nipple" made me rofl

I love when Dan says silly billy.

May I suggest PJ and Sophie as guests on the pod??

unsure about the banana thing actually, i have a friend who ate 10 bananas in 15 minutes and was totally fine. probably differs from person to person

speak on it!!! 🗣️ malort is absolutely rancid!!! truly what they would give soldiers before they cut off their leg

did you really not consider "what can i say?" as the podcast name? 👀

filled aperture is absolutely foul thank you dads for the nightmare material to make people do

thank you for a year of Monday lunchtime boosts <3

TEA SPOON CEREAL TRUTHER!!!!!

you lads have been making me laugh for like…fourteen years?? or something jesus h christ it’s been a while. i wanted to say thank you for always been a source of laughter and camaraderie for the girls, gays, and general oddballs. this era has been so incredibly joyous, thank you🫶

Bring PJ and Sophie on the pod! Or Catrific

happy one year anniversary!! having watched y'all for over a decade, this is an ethereal era to be a part of :-) thank you for everything dads

happy pirthday and happy phanniversary 💜🥹

Mondays are in fact now my favorite day of the week. Thanks for giving me a reason to wake up and cheer at the start of the week. You're my favorite silly billys

SCREAM ON THE PHILM CLUB?!?!? Yessssss

teaspoon supremacy!!! I'm very autistic about cutlery and the biggest spoon I'll use is a tablespoon meant for toddlers

cereal w a teaspoon gang rise up

TEA SPOONS ARE THE ONLY SPOON CHOICE

Merry phan is legal and a happy phanniversary

Phil's mum! and maybe Pj?

what did the hole counter say for this one

It’s my favorite when Dan calls Phil babe 🤭

I ALSO TEASPOON CEREAL !!!!

Y'all need to get PJ on the Phod!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN AND PHIL WE LOVE YOU

what a premium bonus chat this week thank you daddies

Richard our poor castrated creature

Does anyone else keep thinking phirthday should be pissday?

Please do another one next year !

Get Louise on the phucking pod lads

I’m not sure they meant hus as in husband or huzz as in hoes

One year of being hard on Mondays

as a Chicagoan and a Blackhawks fan i NEED y'all to know that the playlist wasn't outdated lol, Chelsea Dagger is the hawks' goal song! we go hard for it here

For guests maybe people that just know a lot about your interests at the time? Like a rollercoaster expert, a fancy crisp flavour developer...idk I think that would be fun

devastating reveal - in aus i gotta wait til tuesday so my mondays are flaccid 🥲

10:38 - "No fries as a prize jus cries-t" was extremely funny and flew completely under the radar lol

Need someone to give it another few eps then make a compilation of Dan saying, “too right”

I really thought the title was referring to the April Fools phregnancy baby

luckily i dropped out of my law degree otherwise i wouldnt be able to enjoy the hard launch podcast

1 year ago i started doing my laundry on mondays rather than sundays exclusively so that i could watch hard launch as i fold my laundry to get thru it... mondays are now my favorite day of the week 🙈

first day as part of the pham who else is scared! HAPPY PHANNIVERSARY!!

As someone who does sock shoe socks shoe, it is because I am going from a pair of house slippers to the other shoes. I do not let my naked feet touch the ground. Of course this might just make me more weird so...😅🤷‍♀️😂

Please please PLEASE don’t censor yourselves too much in terms of what you share. Of course apply limits and stay with what you are comfortable but some of the over shares are what make you D&P and I would miss them! Thank you for all the laughs over the past year!!!!

i thought the “huzz” meant “the hoes” 😭

saw the sale and immediately ran to buy the membership

Happy Phanniversary ❤️

Boy Crater... It's like Lady Door but so much worse. I need to change my name now.

my hole name is girl nook 🩷

i actually joined after the hard launch and you've raised me more than my parents ever did during this year so if you ever want a format called "we raised you..." i wont complain

Guests I would love to see: Louise (naturally!), Hank or John Green, Shane and Courtney from Smosh (the battle of the the YouTube conspiracy couples), Charlieissocoollike <3

I NEED a basement yard and hard launch episode my straight dan and phil joey and Frankie my beloved

Not me spending ten minutes looking for where to upgrade to the Phannie tier 🙈

Can't believe it's been a year a hard Mondays

Ok, the dentist story was one of the most relatable things I've ever heard. Was it incredibly weird and concerning yes, but I also felt seen and it was hilarious😂

Happy birthday Hard Launch!

My hole name is Huge Nothing. Go girl give us nothinggg

"It was clown born for work" is going on my tombstone

they have a different kind of freak but i nominate tommyinnit and jack manifold (loved the podcast episode where they had yall on)

Phil! For the love of health insurance, please don't get hurt in the states 🙏🙏🙏🙏

The phatreon is NON-NEGOTIABLE in the budget. It's for my mental health.

could we get PJ and sophie as guests ?

could we get the producers as guests ?

Crazy timing in the U.S. to say you wanna start a rollercoaster park lmaooo

You should have Phil's mom on the podcast! Although, I'd love to see Veronica back.

I am one of the people who made a Kicked Her Pussy Up The Wall bracelet. It had multiple versions. I ended up making it into a keychain.

I need to know if they're the Ontario mounties or the BC ones

Dan saying "massive cunt" is going to be my new vocal stim now...

Please get Louise on the pod! It needs to happen

Kyranthrax has shown interest for the podcast plsss

magma chambers are not holes they are filled with magma

proudly announcing I am ragged crack

"The phodcast" would not sound good in Brasil HAHAHAHAH the phod part literally sounds like the word f*ck for us (which is: fode)

Phil's lipstick shade is nice

Dan and Phil had all these names for the podcast just for me to exclusively refer to it as the Pisscast

COMPLETELY SHOCKED y'all enjoy using a teaspoon for meal consumption. i PROMISE you so many of us are also going same hat for...reasons

They're so right for the spoon thing. Small spoons are just better

stop my mom and i have the SAME STORY!!! i has slept over at my friends house and when we all woke up they made me wear her fancy clothes!! and go to church with them 😂😂😂 my mom was so annoyed when she came to pick me up and i WASNT THERE. because i was at CHURCH

Least helpful Richard? My father tbh

Hello internet, my name is Vacant Passage

As a Canadian, I love how fascinated they are by the mounties😭😂

You both definitely make me look forward to Mondays! Love you guys!

You should have me on cause I’m cute and funny

chemo...GOD thats taken me back

There better be malort footage or else you gotta do it again

i still wonder if the clown porn he saw was someone i know (yes i know multiple people who do clown porn i run in some extremely specific social scenes)

I think someone that could give us a peak behind the scenes would make for a good guest, like PJ with his work on the calendar

I'm perfectly happy with just the two of you on the pod, but if you wanted guests then I'm voting for PJ and Sophie as your thirds💜

guys, hubris is not believing that you can do something! it's arrogance, specially towards the greek gods 🫪

I’m so happy they are on the tea spoon agenda

yipppeeeee

I so so regret not discovering Dan and Phil before because they literally have the same sense of humour as me and I feel so understood! But at the same time, I'm glad I found them at 28 years old because teen me would have been ever more punchable...ANYWAYS THANK YOU NOW I LOVE MONDAYS

happy one year phanniversary and podversary <3 love being a part of the phatreon, best tenner i spend every month

the Shut Up Im Talking guys had you on their podcast, would be fun if they came to yours now

The only collab I genuinely desire is Louise

“Inviting orifice” is a bit on the nose

right sock, right shoe, left sock, left shoe

Dan fishing for compliments is so relatable

Happy phirthday!!

got curious and found out my hole name, and its god awful, thank u dip n pip!

INWARD VOID 😩

Louise as a guest PLEASE it would be so good <3

My hole name is boy slit nooooo

shout out to me for not being psychic like phil and getting the phatreon again four days before a cheeky anniversary cupom dropped 🥳 thank you dads. my life has been way more bearable since you've constantly been in it. ily 💖

and the phoscar for phreakiest phatreon bonus yap goes to.... name your hole

Im so glad you've experienced malort lol

phil try not to fall challenge

Omg my hole name is Gaping Nothing 😭😭😭

YES THE SPOON DISCOURSE YES PLEASE I am finally vindicated for eating my cereal with a smaller than tablespoon spoon T-T

pls have Tom and Jack on the phod, it's only fair after you went on SUIT