Hard Launch Podcast Ep #46 Who is the Mom and the Dad in our Relationship (PLUS BONUS YAP)

Real life yuri heated rivalry actually exists, can’t think of their names rn but there’s a real life lesbian couple in women’s hockey, who were real life rivals!

The skull crush is so valid. I ask my husband to give me "melon crush" me because the pressure helps me regulate

We cant escape him either 😒😭

was anyone elses gay awakening syed and christian from eastenders?

First video I’m watching on the phatreon btw

DAN AND PHIL PLEASE TELL ME YOUR EXACT TOWEL ORDER ON YOUR RIDER

I like that Phil’s explanation still doesn’t explain why the vet was looking at his foot?

Please go to Costco I’m begging you

Wait, as an American, how is their Ibuprofen sold in the UK?

Dan I feel like you would love the pokemon YouTuber ZenMode

Kinktober was right in front of you

I can’t even argue Phil about the YouTube video thing because I do the exact same thing usually with their videos 😂

AirTag! Otherwise the keys become too aware of their power and run away.

What is America doing to them, every podcast episode has been insane 😭😭😭

Phil regularly putting forks in the toaster explains a lot

The mom and dad thing gave me flashbacks to OHSHC with Tamaki and Kyoya calling each other the mom and dad of the host club 🫪.

Phil having cute aggression at Dan is ADORABLE

Me, a vet tech, PHIL WHY WAS A VET TOUCHING YOUR FOOT

Dads I’m so ready for this weeks hard monday that I’m rewatching this I fear

youre allowed to get so much ibuprofen at a time cus the US health system would rather you self medicate everyday until you eventually get organ failure from taking 500mg of ibuprofen every other day 🙂👍🏼

the communal banana is commuting

How do yall post pics here?? Do I need the app? 😭

Hell yeah shoutout to UoM pantosoc! I was in it one year and they are always this mad and silly, pretty sure the year I was in it we had a bit where Robin Hood was on the apprentice and the merry men were all hippy stoners so Dan and Phil as characters isn’t really a stretch!

If you want something better than Tums get Gaviscon, trust me

This is my favorite episode so far #prayforslice

ok dan had to tell the full dentist story, only fair phil tells the full vet story. I know he spoke about it a bit but I am still not sure why someone living in a country with free healthcare would opt to go to a vet...

i have something important and dire to warn you of: the state “maryland” is pronounced “mare-uh-lind”. in Here’s the Thing, phil said “mary-land” and i promise if you say that in maryland everyone will laugh at you. i’m telling you this for your own good. it will be like when you said you were gonna bomb staten island in nyc this weekend and we all CHEERED. best of luck if you’ve already been to maryland. cheers from mamdanistan x

My tour jacket was defective 🥲 I emailed the danandphilshop support with pics but I'm kind of scared I won't get a response bc the jacket isn't sold there... Is there anywhere else I can contact about an exchange??

They've become 25% less relatable to me bc Phil said he rarely gets headaches now

Rented furniture is cheaper overthere? You do not accept a pre furnished place over hele cause they will claim that you destroyed it and you will pay for it

#prayforslice

Wait till phil find out about Costcos value pack of 2 bottles of 500ct ibuprofen 😂😂

Kind of obsessed watching you romanticize American culture. 200 ibuprofen is absolutely a household staple. The miracle drug. That and name brand Sudafed!!

"Because if you're a vet, you basically know stuff." Me, a vet, to myself every day

Gang has anyone else not received there membership card?? Been here since the start :(((

Pray for Slice

Mar-uh-lnd not Mary-land for pronunciation btw

Got home from the NYC hard launch tour date just to open this and watch it to wind down....chat am i well

#prayforslice one like = one prayer 😔🙏

i love dan and phil in america they’re so cute

I need to say that there are beavers in th uk now, they have been reintroduced AND we are rabies free so maybe one day phil will pet a beaver

Apple chai is really good!!

I work just down the street from that tower, and now I will always think of your description. THANKS A LOT

~philll why were you at the vet~ 🎶

#prayforslice

Hmmm maybe my partner and I DON'T have to play that game

Slice 😭😭😭😭😭😭

whenever they talk about how weird phil’s body is, all I can think of is how I’m convinced he has a connective tissue disorder

Your kids on my Tomodachi island refer to you as “Dad” and “Phad” so…..

Okay but only taking naps when sick/not believing in naps otherwise is very much my mother

Pretty sure they got this question bc of their tendency to say “help, mum” or “help, dad” lol

The real question is "who's the one who leaves for one year and who dyes everything they own green"

what, what color are your prescription bottles ???

That's terrifying, please buy phill wooden toast tongs 🥲

I can’t wait for Phil to discover Costco ibuprofen

rabies "fun" facts! if you have suspicion that you might have been bitten by a rabid animal, go to the hospital NO MATTER WHAT. however there are some incredible cases in the past two decades that make rabies an illness that is not 100% fatal. they can put people into an induced coma and make the body create a fever so high it fries the rabies out. however, this method canonically sucks ass and is only used as a lifesaving last resort. the woman whose life was first saved via induced coma experienced strong cognitive damage after the fact and is, to this day, a major advocate for rabies vaccination in animals and for immediate treatment in humans.

Phil you go to the hospital far too often to be putting a fork in the toaster

From one easily bruised translucent person to another, Phil, please have a steak. You need iron!

gasp we go to sleeeeeeeep i luv phil

AYYY TORONTOOOOOOOOOO❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dip n pip have no idea what cracked means in American slang. Cant believe Phil cracked out aunt Bessie

SOMEBODY needs to give us a full rundown of the Dan & Phil pantomime. I need to know.

I'm such an american that when he pulled out that ibuprofen I wondered why he got the small one 😬

post hard launch phannie here who absolutely is subscribed to the phatreon but absolutely does not know the lore of the American (???) OPEN CAN. pls help someone

Dan’s like a 1950s woman going from his parents house to his husband’s house lol

“American pill bottle you see in the movies” wait what do your pill bottles look like

I started Buffy this week and I’m excited to finally understand the Phil rants

Guys please continue changing the lights, that's how I know how to skip to the Patreon part after I watch it on YouTube

jesus phil that much ibuprofen is mental. look after your kidneys!!

single-handedly the funniest podcast to date

The most fun I've ever had. Thank you.

Apple flavored lattes are disgusting and you should say it! The apply flavoring more times than not is just having a bad reaction to the coffee.

This bonus yap has taken the crown for “things I plan to watch when I need to laugh hard enough to piss”😂

I saved this phodcast for today so I could watch it in my PHIRTHDAY

Crazy you guys think Dan has (recently?) absorbed Phil’s clumsiness when one of his videos from like 14 years ago is literally Butterfingers 😂 He must’ve absorbed it a longgg time ago

Right FWIW on the bin being adjacent to the cutlery, my bin is in the same cupboard-space as my pots and pans, AND my cutlery (unfortunately it’s unavoidable in the way my kitchen’s set up), and they’re all perfectly fine, don’t smell like the bin at all 😂

“phil living by himself for a year has given him skills” ME TOOO im currently living alone for the first time ever, at age 30, (fiancé’s in military training), literally yesterday had to call the landlord to replace the fridge… I’ve fixed the sink and the dishwasher alone, it really IS a lot to live alone, especially when you’re used to sharing those responsibilities, Phil and I are both badasses tbh 😂 so far nothing in my apartment is dyed green yet BUT i have a couple more months to go lmfao

“mary-land” is killing me phil i’m sorry i love yall but i grew up there and it’s definitely not “mary-land” 😂😂 it’s more like “marilynd”, almost like Marilyn (Monroe) but with a little tiny “d” sound on the end

What if for tour, the viewer hard launches were of people who live wherever you are? So like you’re in Chicago so all the Hard Launches would be from Chicago. Might be a little fun idea idk

As someone from Maryland, I love the way Phil said Maryland during Here’s The Thing

I can’t tell you how many times I replayed and actually laughed out loud at “Phil, why were you at the vet? Why was a vet touching your foot? What the fuuuuck? Fuck the heteronormative game, what do you mean?”

It’s not too late to come to Pittsburgh

Mary-land 😭 Casefile pod had this same problem. It’s pronounced more like - mare-uh-lund, if you say it quickly as one word with mostly the same stress on each syllable

I'm American and I had no idea there was more than one trump tower

I do wonder if they have a food waste bin and what they've named it 🤔

Wait what do the pill bottles look like in the UK?

Phil is so cute when he is trying to set up a joke.

#prayforslice sent me into orbit

Damn getting uninvited from their house before I ever even went 🥲

truly triggered by the mention of aaron cybertron zheng lol

The true Chicago experience includes disrespecting the Bean as much as possible we hate that man as a culture

I’m sick rn and #prayforslice just sent me into a coughing fit from laughing so hard jfc.

I audibly shouted "THE VET?!" Phil wtf 😂

phil like me forreal ,Dan ur insane for tht 16degree celcius. I hope he has a snuggie lmao .gamechanger

as a housekeeper I agree with phil, houses that have their trash bins in the cupboard are usually pretty gross. So many crumbs and sticky things get trapped in there

my fellow big bruiser

girl it's actually not fine with the extension cords lol

#phildidntlosethekey

Don't need to ask which one is which parent because we saw dan's backpack last week and that's a mam bag if ever I've seen one.

#prayforslice

Phil is so right about the bin

The first episode of Buffy watch party is not currently free! Plz make it so I can seeeeeeee

Touching beavers in the street, amerite lesbians?

I think Dan should've gotten a mum finger for being the one to be ready to go at the end of the show

I had never heard of Aunt Bessie, but holy shit I am livid, this is such a DESGOSTANG sign of our times how they massacred the old lovely auntie and turned her into a DESGOSTANG ai gen. "Yassified" pixarface mascot prop! Honestly SHAME on the marketing, shame on whoever ceobrain was responsible for going through with this decision!

As an actual registered pharmacist phannie, I was genuinely starting to get a little concerned about Phil's stomach lining with all that ibuprofen... Get this man a PPI! So glad for the little disclaimer, stay health-aware Kings!

as an apple coffee lover, it looks like i’m getting blocked. it was nice knowing you all

it's a good day when my close and personal friends dan & phil post a video

I’m crying that secondhand smoke za got yall acting like this phil what were u like the handful of times you smoked in college 😭

omg phil try Tums Smoothies they’re so so so good

also i think us ibuprofen is weaker that’s why they sell such large quantities over the counter

i <3 tums

The Gastro nurse within me wants to say, Phil I hope you are taking some kind of stomach protector medication if you’re taking ibuprofen all the time, you don’t want a stomach ulcer 👀🙃

I know people are asking if you're mom or dad but tbh Phil is Nana and you cannot convince me otherwise

wait wait wait so did someone refer phil to the vet or did he go there as a first stop??? i won't let this Slide by so easiy

ty dadDan for passing on the trait of walking around with a yt video

there is actually a yuri show, from the same netwrok that made Heated Rivalry!!! it's called Slo Pitch. it's about Base Ball, and you can watch it on Youtube (via VPN, if you're not in Canada) It's very cute :)

Nooooo #prayforSlice 💔

Phil looked so cute saying they would go to sleep after a party awwwww

the concept of phan locktober....

i would never not use a coaster in the phouse i promise

Why do y'all think it's normal to only have one house key that's bonkers

please feel free to have opinions on politics on the pod unless it’s a travel safety/visa issue ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 hearing anyone acknowledge The Elephants is very comforting as a trans person in the USA rn. can’t wait to see you guys on stage this week!!!

Happy Hard-launch-aversary 🥹🩷 could not be more proud of you both and love you so dearly

if you take ibuprofen for headaches, you’re gonna love Excedrin

Someday I’ll see my name on the Patreon list

Its okay Phil I do the same thing with the toast

“We’re filling the Ninetales with milk.” If you are a PTCG person like me (21 years in the game binch as a 25F), you KNOW the MILKTANK ART SUGGESTS THIS IS A CANON STATEMENT T^T The real question is: Kanto or Alolan Ninetales, ‘cause that milk is either getting curdled or crystallized. 🫢

1:53 Why are both of them grabbin their toes???...that leads to smelly hands...or is it so they indirectly hold toes when yhe hold hands

did anyone else watch anthony padilla’s old series Cocktober?? half of the vids have been taken off youtube which breaks my heart

Boys please go to trader joes and vlog i think you’d really dig the snacks🦦

Ah dip and pip thank you for this as I am so sick rn 😭 I needed this

Buffy is not for free on patreon nuohhh

I am drowning in content

HAPPY HARD LAUNCH ANNIVERSARY. Just got back from Chicago myself and this was my first video to watch today 😁

“you saying that is Not Evidence” diva lester you’re a genius

am I allowed to diagnose phil with a connective tissue disorder

We <3 producer leila!

Can I say the most concerning part about the whole key situation is that they are sooo codependent that they have 1 key of the phouse… what do you mean each of you don’t have a key?!?!?

There’s a Beaver in the room

the troye sivan bit had no business being that funny to me 😭😭

Anti-spearmint gang activate <3

“we’re being haunted by trump” how the hell do you think us americans feel??

I'm sorry but why don't you have two individual keys to the Phouse??? With your individual key rings?? You've made this fellow home-owner very anxious!! We even have a friend with a spare key in case we both lose our keys... because we are as clumsy as you two sillies...

Genuinely this one had me laughing so hard my grandparents questioned me on what was so funny.

the head squeezing thing is so relatable lol, like a weighted blanket for ur brain

#prayforslice

Sharing a couch that's not inflatable looks so much more comfortable and free than those chairs! (sorry Phil) I hope this arrangement continues when you're back in your studio.

honestly slice is kinda iconic

There are automatically closing cabinet hinges you can get

I think if Phil knew I took 800mg ibuprofen every 6-8 hours pretty much all of the time I think he would have a heart attack 🙃 (for context I have a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects literally my entire body and doctors won’t give me anything to manage it besides an anti convulsant for nerve pain) ps This is probably the funniest podcast so far I was laughing my ass off the whole time!

Dan and Phil should go to a monster truck rally then go fishing… peak American culture

Doing my part by watching the pod on YouTube and then coming here to watch the extras

Me and my partner do the head squeeze too!! Mainly my partner will press against my ears and I just like how quiet it is, but the pressure is weirdly nice so I get it Dan. BREAK MY FUCKING SKULLL.

Phil is also responsible for getting the bugs out of the house. I would love hearing about relationships where the mom saves her husband from bugs. It's cute to me.

my tober would be lochtober, where i just hang out with the loch ness monster

You have no idea how much I needed this in my life rn

In honor of today’s Richard, I must tell Phil that I named my dog Anya after the Buffy character

Low key want to see the Panto where Dan and Phil show up in it just because

no no, Phil was right: the mum/dad gender roles are heteronormative AND misogynistic

Cry laughing on the bus thanks to Phil’s foot vet story 😭😭

Watching YouTube videos constantly to not think is so relatable

Not me on the top of a double decker bus driving past the Houses of Parliament realising I’m the dad and my bf is the mum??

i love the way phil says maryland

"which one of you is the mum and which one is the dad?" is ALSO a misogynistic question. it's a question about how you perform masculinity and femininity in the relationship.

I am so like Dan with watch YouTube videos to do anything, I do it all the time my Parents are sick of it

I think the worst part of this whole video, is the implication that they share 1 house key. Do y’all not have your own keys??? 😂

I’m in my bisexual relaxation station 😌

Ahh yes being haunted by The Towers. We can relate and we hate it. Chicagoans hate that tower and many lawsuits happen against the tower. Ahh Chicago deep dish pizza! Good times. Love that you got a chance to visit for a bit longer and escape the rain a bit. Ahh yes! Both of you can be honorary Chicagoans! Come back any time <3. Phil no! Don't do that with the fork and toaster. We want you to stay alive. Aww that architecture tour. It's such a fun one, so I get it. Plus being out on the river is lovely too. The Bean! It's such a fun place to visit. Dan's right it did sound like that. Love you both dearly <3. Yeah our roads are a disaster here. No matter how much construction is happening it never works. RIP. Get better roads US. Please. I also bruise like a peach, you're in good company Phil. What do you mean you can only buy 8 ibuprofen in the UK? That feels insane to me. We have so many options here that are in the hundreds. Wild. It's so fun seeing you get excited over all these little things we don't even think about here. Mary Land - adorable. Ooh not a fan of the stereotypical gender roles thing. Even in straight couples I hate it. I'm also an anti napper. Such a fun and interesting breakdown of the roles and things. I'm with you on the long dry sessions after a shower and scrolling on the internet. Big relate. Loved the Buffy yap. Always a delight. I love that you sing the alphabet to find the next letter. I do that too sometimes. That was a fun story. Yuri Heated Rivlary. Have you seen the Amber Glen music video with Lena Lemon? It's so good and I need it immediately. Crazy that you're both in a pantomime. That's so fun. I'm so glad to hear that your headaches are doing better. As a fellow headache and migraine haver, those headache free times are so nice and yet some part of me is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Oh wow all of those yoga/pilates/workout things. Crazy. Oh this relationship quiz thing is going to be so fun. This bonus yap is so good. I also love pressure. Not necessarily head squeezing pressure, but everywhere else, it's such a nice feeling. Phil you and I are similar with the proprioception and spatial and touch things. Absolutely dying at Phil going to the vet and getting his foot touched. And Dan's song about it? Even better. Slice! #prayforslice = incredible. Love the "shut up" said at the same time. The key story! You're both killing me. I had the best time on the Patreon today. So good. Also love the couch set ups every week. I'll miss this when the tour is over.

Phil... you can even get bottles with 1,000 ibuprofen pills at CVS 0.0

Forgoctober, when my job forgot my work anniversary. Yes they celebrate these events.

Rabies is irradiated in some places in the world, we don't have rabies in the UK

We may not have universal healthcare but we can get 500 tums and 500 ibuprofen for a tenner because our country doesn’t care what happens to us as long as we show up to work! It’s bleak 🙃

Happy one year dads 💕

Woah Dan too far not phils mom lol

Nobody from chicago actually eats deep dish other than when relatives visit. Yall gotta try thin crust pizza when you visit next! Or if you are feeling frisky, order it extra thin and crispy where it's just basically a cracker with tomato sauce and cheese. Lol

i love that phil wouldn't even entertain that. and he was right it is misogyny. why did dan silence him. when he was speaking up for women. #canceldan

i enjoyed the extra musicality of this episode

Phil being excited about 250 Ibuprofen from Walgreens is the exact same reaction I had buying 8 Paracetamol in a Boots on my trip to London

The more days the spend in the US the poshest their accent gets 😭

I love how often dan brags abt his max level relationship mog like he KNOWS nobody is doing codependency and soulmatism like them

happy hard launch anniversary everyone! It is so nice to see Dan and Phil feeling comfortable and relaxed! honestly one of the very few good things that happened to me in the past year

36:00 weighing in as one of the many thirds- Phil is correct abt the fact that the bin should be a separate unit for cleaning purposes.

i need you two to find a Philz coffee if you haven’t already and try the apple cinnamon roll cold brew or at least their philtered soul/ honey haze cold brew drinks 😭😭

Maryland mention! Had a great time at the DC show!

I enjoy seeing all the different couches 💜

This might have been the best Patreon yet

Up to the desired question and I’m scared to keep watching

I agree about the apple coffee, it sounds weird and tastes awful😬 and you’re so right, fuck spearmint! peppermint is elite. also thank you for including the ibuprofen warning, if you take too much you can literally bleed out your ass!

So Phil has a permanent back egg?

forever manifesting a yuri volleyball heated rivalry not for any particular reason or anything /s

"We go to sleep!" Spoken like real parents.

again… self-closing cupboards!!

the jackets are so fucking sick like everyone at the dc show got them 😼😼😼 u guys popped off

when you’ve had the most unimaginably horrible day but at least there’s the new dan and phil patreon hard launch post at the end of the day in bed

I just love how proud Dan was of his "here's the thing" transition today

the PNG conversation was for me /lh /j (i was a professional graphic designer for a few years)

The bonus yap section was hysterical omfg😭

Consider having a PO box just so we can send you things like wooden toaster tongs and better chapstick, you don't need to be struggling this hard

@9:50 Nah, Phil’s 100% right; peppermint > spearmint

this is the best ep i had so much fun and so many giggles

TROYE SIVAN MENTIONED?!

Spearmint is the only valid mint, fight me Phil Lester

No, but I agree w Phill on the take about how DIRTY DIRTY TRASHCANS SHOULDN'T INSIDE CUPBOARDS

YOOO I MADE THE RANDOM PHATREON LIST

maybe it's just my mood but this week's episode was fun af

i'm glad our parasocial relationship has progressed to this comfort level

This episode is so cute lmao. I have 800mg ibuprofen from hurting my foot, they’re so large I can barely swallow them

Phil get a turbie twist for your shower hair I beg

I very much agree with Phil about the cupboard doors, except that everything will get dusty, and you'll have to wash all your dishes before you eat in them if they've been sitting on the open shelf.

as someone who was raised by one woman, i was very confused by the mom/dan segment. i have no idea who falls asleep in a chair. whoever isn't driving navigates? or whoever has a map up? i don't know these tropes

#slicehasbeensliced

you guys have to go to el pollo guapo in hartford connecticut it's right next to the theater and they have so many different sauces it's imperative

the european rules of only being able to buy like 8 advil at a time is just crazy

Phadmin participation was PEAK this week pls can we have more Leila and Amelia

wait what do british prescription bottles look like. i thought all of them looked like that orange with white cap 😭

That "Yuri Heated Rivalry" with ice skaters _kind of_ exists. Amber Glenn (US figure skater, famously Queer) made a short with another woman that uses the Heated Rivalry music and mimics a bunch of the shots.

#prayforslice

you know which hotel wouldn't deprive you of shortbread biscuits? the four seasons-

happy hard monday everyone!!

happy 1 year since the hard launch

You guys should try Trader Joe’s seasonal snacks and their cold foam with your coffee

Phil’s tiny 200 count ibuprofen bottle is the small one I carry in my purse

I just need a full hour of y’all bonus yapping it’s hilarious

OPEN CaAnn

hi so my name is tilly and I physically jumped. assigned stfu, cracked skull, and lifelong trauma at your preference for my sibling slice at the dan and phil adoption ig

excellent pod episode ty

My last phodcast ep before bootcamp… cant wait to do a full recap in 2 months

just lost my job. Life is hard but mondays are harder

“The people are gone! They’re finally gone!” REALEST THING IVE EVER HEARD

I need a dan Pokemon video immediately

This is the best Patreon after party I could ever ask for

phlonde and thrown down the stairs, welcome back madeline ashton

#prayforslice

Phil does the towel hair? I love that 😭

Thanks dads

Phil got left with the kids for however many years it was

Genuinely tho slice is kinda a sick ass enby name

#pray for slice

I love the synchronized "oh shut up" at the hypothetical "only ever thinking about my other half" relationship

I'm still not sure I understand why the vet was touching Phil's foot??? Is this a friend who happens to be a vet and they were just chatting about it, or was he at some random vet appt for a mysterious pet and got on to the topic of his own feet???

YOURE ONLY ALLOWED TO BUY 8 IBUPROFEN AT A TIME IN THE UK???????? I couldn't survive

guys what the fuck is a pantomime help

hearing my name be spat out when phil is naming the hypothetical children was so jarring- (fin isn’t my actual name btw lmao)

ice skater yuri mention.... lets all watch the underrated peak that is ice princess 2005 w michelle trachtenberg for philm club YASSSS

Y’all I put on green lenses safety goggles right before you guys talking about the one person smelling of weed 😂

Once a year or so ago I showed my mom a Dan and Phil video and she confidently stated that Dan is the mom out of the two but this was specifically in the context of my mom being the head of our household and my parents not really following traditional gender roles lmao. So it was like. Still heteronormative of her to say but also kind of demonstrating exactly how gender roles are completely made up LMAO

#prayforslice

it’s actually both your faults that you lost the key bc why do you have only one

The foot thing is so real Phil. My fwb tried to give me an “erotic massage” for my birthday this year and I did in fact kick him in the fucking forehead. Sorry Z 😬

(usa phannie here.) my local tea + coffee house has a seasonal sweet potato and molasses latte. it genuinely tastes like a caramelized sweet potato, there’s marshmallows at the bottom…so good. 😤

I swear I always use a coaster 😭

youwoulddropthem.

I give Phil's bruise a 4/10. Once the entire back of my thigh was black and blue from sitting down on a chair to hard

Im going to bring my Costco 2 pack of 1000 ibuprofen to the tour just to show Phil

i'd like to pitch a solution for the cupboard and the Open Can pattern, somebody invent a cabinet that closes when you say "Close Door," boom. done. no more dnp fighting,

I think phil would really love the famous upstate new york tomato pie… like a chicago pizza kinda but not really but just nice tomato on top no cheese

Tilly, Sebastian, Milly, Gordon and Slice are canon now

I freaking love the way Phil said Maryland lol

Besties and team, I'm a New Yorker and basically live at the Kings theater, hmu for recommendations <3

You have no idea how disappointed I was on the riverboat tour in Chicago when I looked up to see this beautiful mirrored building I wanted to take a photo of and then looked up a bit more to see which building it was 💀

WHY WERE YOU AT THE VET PHIL

If you guys ever move over to playibg paralives, you must name a child slice

I'm pretending that this didn't make me feel very parasocial :)

My take on the mamVSdad : Dan - the sassy strong matriarchal motherhood leadership Phil - the gentle father Both the protector

Phil having sick-Victorian-boy-itus.

Less the 30secs in and already unsafe for school great🪩🕺🏽

The fantasy after a party being go to sleep is the realest mid 30s answer

the vet foot thing genuinely killed me im crying over my legos

you’re only allowed to buy EIGHT ibuprofen in the UK what are you talking about?!?!!! the 250 bottle isn’t even the biggest bottle that i’ve seen, i have a 500 pack of normal and pm in my bathroom rn.

if you can hear me fix the map pls love from massachusetts that is currently labeled as connecticut :(

I live by myself and I have FOUR keys scattered around town in different friends houses! I place the blame on both of you 🔑🔑

okay I need more of you guys playing that game

The way Troye is just always perpetually somehow included in the phan-lexicon will always mean so much to me

Phil is literally right about the bin though. Do not put it in a cupboard that's gross

youre both mum

both of you need to get spare keys omg how did you only have ONE

Phil got so lucky with the deep dish bc most of the time it feels like it's all cheese (nasty)

Wait… what do UK pill bottles look like???

Producers please take them to costco or sams club so they can get the actual abundance of ibuprofen for less $. Walgreens is so expensive 😭

#prayforslice 🥀✊🏽😔

they were mr and mrs aquaphor here

Did Dan declare the dad fist and mum fist and then immediately change them backwards? 🤣

Maybe my favorite podcast bonus. 26 years into my partnership, I love a domestic chat - nothing has ever been as long-term relationship as Dan checking that Phil cancelled the gym membership. I feel seen.

Them saying my name woke me up from my half sleep…that was scary never say my name again oh my phog

Dan breezing over casually saying "17 years" :0

i take the mum and dad question as a who runs the household kinda question

Idk if Manchester uni panto does this but mine did - we often did like kind of parody plays where different iconic people are written into the script. Ours weren't really pantos as we had a separate panto society lol it was the sort of original /comedy theatre society

#prayforslice(they/them)

"if you're writing a story, make them all lesbians" and i literally just wrote a short story last week that opened with a lesbian wedding dream sequence 😭

sarah michelle geller is a confirm zionist btw

Omg I relate to Phil at 43 minutes. My partner does this too. He is like "well I remember" and I am like "thats not evidence! You could be misremembering!"

this is how i find out there are MINT TUMS?? wtf i have only ever had fruit ones?

i love that i pay to watch them argue

sorry, losing THE house key???? As in singular??? As in you only have the one you both use for your home???? Tell me you have MULTIPLE spares and IM the one being foolish please God

I need the Here We Ask video

I’m crying why are u guys romanticizing our pill bottles this culture shock comedy is iconic

500 IBUPROPHEN GOD BLESS AMERICA 🦅🦅🇺🇲

I need more info on the vet story, Phil made it sound so much worse and leave me with so many more questions

Incredible new lore drop with the skull crushing as mutual stress relief

aaahhhh mommy and Daddy are fighting about the keys and who lost them. I'm gonna fail school now because it's affecting me in such a personal, emotional way. Stop fighting, guys; you're tearing this phouse apart.

try harder next time is FRYING me 😭

phil hurt then dan takes care of him fanfic writers are in shambles

Phil, if you bruise easy, get your platelets checked lol

Oh no, the house key fight is impossible to resolve due to Phil "creates false memories" Lester and Dan "inserts Phil into all his memories" Howell

we get dinged at work if we daisy chain extension cords like dan does so i'm with phil on this one

I agree with Phil that garbage bins inside a cupboard give me the ick

the whole house key debacle is why I'm subscribed to the patreon 😌 (sorry dip & pip for taking enjoyment in your pain, it's just very relatable...)

🎼phiiiiiILLL!! Why were you at the vetttttt🎼

I was ready to headcanon that Phil kicking a vet was just a memory from a past life where he was a horse

I actually can’t stand aunt Bessie’s yorkies… 😭😭

Gotta go to 7 brew

as someone who unforch had to walk past the tr*mp building in chi every day for months I feel ur pain 😭 it’s so fucking ugly

Can I hard launch the fact that I needed to pause and run to the toilet so I didn't piss myself laughing in that extra 15 minutes

YAAAAAY todays my birthday and i get a podcast episode best bday EVER

the fact that ive seen much larger bottles of ibuprofen in stores here..

No because why is getting your head compressed the best feeling ever? Like take my brain out and give it a quick squeeze while your at it. Consider me a butter squishy.

im really enjoying this on the road setup and how we can see the phroducers in the reflection, seeing them laughing and reacting and dancing along to their troye remix is so fun #slaygirlies

whoever said dan is really channelling his dinof is right but i dont think hes channelling it i think its just bACK and im here for it

I was so sad Dan and Phil didn't come to Maryland until Phil pronounced it Mary-land. It is Mera-lin!

rip slice 🪦

I have seen some abysmal riders so I am sure runners & staff appreciate that yours isn’t insane. One performer asked us if we could not only turn off all of the overhead lights…but Completely disconnect them. It was very strange lol.

Omg this episode was so funny 😂 I was literally crying by the end

Loveeee the jackets! They suit you both so well!

Ah yes my favorite off camera influencer children: Tilly, Sebastian, Millie, Gordon, and Slice

Socktober is a thing in the knitting community where you knit socks all month!

I thought we are going to get some more of hard launch hard after 1 year. Why is still so hard to be more open about it?

No one tell Phil how many ibuprofen he could get at a costo

Okaykaykay but guys more buffy philm club episodes please!!! I would genuinely watch you watch the entire 7 seasons.

This was so funny I was laughing the whole time hehe and I hope Slice becomes a reccuring character

So excited for phartford tuesday

Their jackets look like a Pokémon but for the life of me I can’t remember which one!?!?

#prayforslice 🙏🏼

Phil's answer to what happens after a party made me feel so seen.

The “do you want solutions or support?” Question is so important to me 💀

y'all are gonna jinx Phil breaking a bone in America 😭 you'll be $63,000,000 in phebt

#IBelievePhilDidntLoseTheKey

only having one house key is so chaotic lmao. i have never encountered anyone who doesn’t have one per household member

Biscuits??? You get Biscuits in hotels??

Hi

RIP Slice. It was a short life, but a good ‘un.

#prayforslice

wait until they find out about Costco size ibuprofen

I use chopsticks (wooden) to get my toast out of the toaster

i absolutely agree we need way more lesbian mainstream media!!!! can’t wait for the new lesbian season of bridgerton :’) can you guys watch that

yall are the most not-old not-married old married couple ever lmao

#prayforslice

Now I understand why the audio version just starts on the intro music haha they had to be so careful with what they said in that first minute

Mom and Dad means to me, Mom is in charge of the rules (read as MAKES), Dad, the universe, and whatnot. Dad is a passenger princess. Dad just waits to be told what to do ( read as gets told constantly about their faults, missteps, and mistakes). So Dan is Mom and Phil is Dad! Don’t @me! This is a comedy comment.

You underestimate what percentage of your fan base has spent hours searching for the right transparent png for some edit or meme that will been seen by 12 people on tumblr

I was kicking my feet and giggling when they were taking about the head squeeze like WHAT that’s the cutest thing ever

Oh no, Dan is a FIXER. Can't relate to him anymore

loved all the singing in this one!! phil is right about the bin permeation, don’t let your forks get that filmy refuse tinge to them. anyway, I will get a votive candle sputtering along for your imaginary endangered young spawn 🕯️ #PrayForSlyce

The silly energy in the phatreon section is off the charts this week

I am deeply offended at Phil's pronunciation of Maryland. On behalf of all crabs and people, we must duel.

matching outphits because they’re in love

Phil crushing Dans scull, the roomba is roombaing

Dan And Phil's Domestic Bullshit #2, Electric Boogaloo (Phatreon Edition)

guess i've clocked in early for my therapist job today

The questions made them a bit uncomfortable...

hard disagree on the mum/dad thing. it's not who's the nurturing one vs who's the manly man it's who's the stressed one and who's the one just vibing. hence clearly dan is the mum and phil is the dad.

lmaoo im so geeked that they mentioned the maryland beaver issue! Putting our beaver business on blast!

the pizza pringles are the god tier flavor

this episode was so British lmao guys what is a pantomime? My dumb American brain is picturing a puppet show

I close my laptop as soon as I find out it is a jpg and not a png. GOODBYE.

funniest bonus yap to date I'm actively cry laughing

36:50 Daniel that is your mother in law! Put some respect on Kathryn's name

PRAY FOR SLICE

Guys, listen, we need you guys to share a couch or loveseat in the podcast studio after the tour! I’m not being parasocial I swear, it’s just so much nicer to see you both at the same time instead of the camera flipping back and forth. Pretty please 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I love Phil’s little devil horns in this one

watching dip and pip have a domestic about having a domestic about losing their single house key... hard mondays, am i right brother?

Always here for more Buffy discussions

NOOO SLICE, NOOO

mama y papa 💜

Ok we need to send Phil some wooden toaster tongs ASAP!

tbf to phil the heteronormativity of "who's the mum and who's the dad"-type questions stems from misogyny

Re the bruise, I believe thats called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome 😆

their relationship being phil’s third priority makes sense when you consider 1) ibuprofen 2) tums

the sweetest bonus yap so far, i love hearing about the little mundane things. thank you for sharing these with us 🥺

need more info on the dan and phil panto

Come back to Ohio dads I miss you

Traveling 3 hours tomorrow to see the hard launch-aversary show in Hartford!!!!! So hyped!!!!

i agree with phil, putting the trash can in the cabinet is annoying and gross. it’s way easier to clean on the floor

this bonus 15 mins was 10/10

Your still both ‘dad’ to me

I actually cry-laughed when Phil casually mentioned his vet touching his foot, I was so ready for it to be brushed off, thank fuck for Dan still wondering about this man 😭😭

THE KEY? YOU ONLY HAVE ONE KEY OF YOUR HOUSE ? 🫪

I fear Phil just convinced me to watch Buffy

The party question before Dan even finished reading I said "I'd go to sleep." And then Phil said the same thing😂

this might be the best Bonus yap yet. PhilWhyWasAVetTouchingYourFootWhatDoYouMeeeaaaan?

Watching this right after getting the rabies exposure vaccine was crazy

happy hard launch-iversary!!! 💜🖤💖🫡

Them being haunted by the towers just to come to DC and be minutes away from the white house 💀

Feels awkward watching this at my Nana's but alas the grind never stops

hi the dc show was incredible and I had an amazing time!!! 🥺🥺 tysm

with all the ‘tober talk i’m surprised they didn’t mention kinktober lmaoo

extra philarious bonus yap on this one 🤌🤌

The rage seething underneath Dan's "we have no opinions!" was SO palpable. Thankfully who he's talking about is so fucking stupid they'd never be able to pick up on the subtext.

FOX IS DOWN TO WHAT

moss and slice are canon gender neutral characters in the phuniverse now i hope they like their youtube navigating dad and thc greens meal finding mum

got thrown back to being 3 and my parents arguing during the key bit 😂💀

dan lost the house keys

lads, i hate to tell you this after last weeks ep but we do, in fact, have the self driving waymo cars in the uk ._. I work in north london and they jumpscare me all the time

Going to become a roomba eating up all this parasocial information

I demand fanart of Tilly, Sebastian and Slice on my desk EOD Friday.

hard monday and hard disagreeee dan is mother (cleans up after phil’s cupboard mess, chief of phouse furniture, literally hosted internet support group which is peak motherism) sorry phil ily

This was a really cosy one. Maybe because of your THC infused lunch. But liked it all the same.

losing the house key is actually on both of you for only having the one key between you

I saw the Minneapolis show! It was super fun. I wish I could've gotten meet and greet tickets but I'm poor, so I'll say what I would've said then now. It was great to be able to just have fun for an evening, not worry about anything, and actually feel like I belonged somewhere. This year has been really hard for me and you guys have been my comfort YouTubers through it. When I watch your videos, I feel like I'm hanging out with friends instead the crushing loneliness. And it's nice to know that someone at least in theory would care about me if circumstances were different and we were friends. (Trauma dump warning.) A few months ago my only remaining friend "broke up" with me because it was too inconvenient for them to hang out with them since I wasn't in their friend group anymore. I've had no friends since. I don't even have an emergency contact. Why wasn't I in that friend group anymore? Well, as I discovered in my 3 month stint in the mental hospital this year, apparently that friend group was abusive to me. They convinced me I was the problem and cut me out of their life, including kicking me out of their apartment to find a new place to live in two months. When I don't make enough to live by myself. I would go live with my dad, but guess what? He's abusive too. (And now I have PTSD from said abuse) Among all that I get laid off from my job because AI. And I was in the heart of all the ICE stuff. And my grandma died. All this year. So yeah, it's been a lot. Honestly I think if I got to do the meet and greet, I'd just start bawling. You guys are the only thing that makes me happy and gives me hope. If dan can through all his trauma and end up with a happy life, then maybe I can too. Maybe I can find friends who will accept me for my ace-ness and autism and just enjoy life one day. So thanks for not killing yourself. It gives me a reason to avoid trying.

Y’all are both mom lmao

quick someone save slice #prayforslice 🥺

has phil considered checking his belly button for the house key

Dan has never been as relatable as having to sing the alphabet to know what comes next

Dan and Phil in the Manchester panto is so fucking iconic they are part of manchesters history

I’m sorry why do you have ONE house key for the two of you

The way I fucking pissed .myself laughing at Dan singing about the vet comment from Phil xD

Happy Hard-iversary papas

Or D&P are like my cool older cousins who live and work in a different country—they give off cousin energy!!

#prayforslice

A VET IM CRYING 😂😂😂😂

SLICE NOOOOO

newest culture shock is that not everywhere has bright orange pill bottles

What do you mean, you only have one key?

39:01 should we leave 😭😂

I need 3 hours of this im sorry

Love the unhinged yet domestic vibe.

this was literally the funniest patreon yap, I have tears in my eyes

Honestly you’re both more like my slightly older brothers than my dads…

phil getting excited over 250 ibuprofen is the most 39 year old thing ever

i agree with dan hiding the bin in the cupboard

Phil likes to squeeze Dan's skull and Dan likes having his skull squeezed... Truly a match made in heaven

I’m trying to listen to you talk about who’s the mum and who’s the dad but I think my very loud neighbours are actually trying to become parents right now, pls help this is homophobic

To think this was before you two were made to have Malort on stage 😂 Great pod

I hope the actors update us on how they plan to pantomime Dan of Dan and Phil dropping that very university after year 1

Queer as Folk was one of those shows that I found as a teen. It got me through some hard times.

love how the phatreon started with the dan and phil training tape we always needed 🫶🏻

perhaps a philm club of buffy the musical... ?

The ao3 kinktober girlies are quaking

i put a knife in the toaster to get bagels out…… me and phil risking our lives for toasted food

HELLOO

I love how we call the producers by their title then their name - Producer Leila and Producer Amelia. Slay

need to see this pantomime rn!!!!!!!

this quiz is making dan crazy

As a Bostonian, y’all put CT (connecticut) on Massachusetts on the map at the beginning 😭

wooden toaster tongs changed my life....I'm no longer at risk of burns or electrocution and I can still eat so much toast

I love Phatreon

idk but youre both my mom and dad collectively

it’s 9:33pm my day has been soft and at bed time, it’s now hard

Surprised the alleged cum pillows are allowed to remain on the couch after all the throw pillow slander.

DAD’S!!!

Found the instagram for the Dan and Phil panto and I’m even more confused than before… it’s Little Red Riding Hood? I need to witness this

the concept of your phone getting heavier with full storage

flick the bean 🫘😳

crazy to listen to phil nerd out about buffy and actually understand what the hell he's talking about cause he successfully convinced me to watch it

daniel and phillip in new york you should go to Gay Street (real place) and Big Gay Ice Cream (equally real place) for a sweet treat.

i am fox and i AM dtf (i literally go by fox in addition to scratch)

DC last night ammirite!!! 👋

The phantomime?? Someone video it and send it over!

I remember when Phil gave birth to me. thank u mama

Please try the New York Times 36 questions to fall in love

This week was hard (in a bad way) , but this phodcast is harder (in a good way ofc)

Legendary refresh

Love those JACKETS

Thanks for pronouncing Maryland like that, Phil. Makes it sound like we're so happy here 🫠

Had to leave the Toronto hard launch at intermission cause of chronic pain. This chat (kinda) makes up for it! ❤️🇨🇦

Your relationship is shorter than the time it’s been since I’ve last seen my dad so to me, you’re both father 💜💜💜

they were mother and father here <3

Thanks for being just on time mum and dad

hi mom and dad

HARD LAUNCHAVERSARY

So pleased you uploaded this before bedtime 💖

Heyy dads! Although at my age your more my brothers 😂

heyaaaaa

Happy early hard laugh anniversary!

The "which of you is the boy and which of you is the girl" question for gay couples has upgraded i guess 😭

it's officially the 13th in my timezone so i would like to wish you both a happy hard launch-a-versary ❤️ this has been the best year of my phannie life (and i know it's been yours too)

My mum and dad fr

There's a literal pantomime being made featuring Dan and Phil? I need to see that! Can I can buy a ticket even though I don't go to the university?

yo

They changed Aunt Bessie? This is a crime! My mum checked the bag in her freezer and we got to see young Aunt Bessie for ourselves. It feels wrong.