Hard Launch Podcast Ep #44 Male podcasting from a Midwest Motel (PLUS BONUS YAP)

i love that, with the cheetah fight argument, dan is just COMPLETELY neglecting the fact that the pain of the cheetah CLAMPING DOWN ON HIS ARM would more than likely send him into shock before he could do anything else

Phil: “Daddy’s in charge”. Dan: 👁️👄👁️

I wish Dan had half as much confidence in his many great qualities as he has in his ability to fight apex pedators

So so sad missed you guys. PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MORE CANADIAN DATES AND LOCATIONS 🥲♥️

Guys where can I find the state fair vlog 💀

Am I crazy, Im Canadian, driven back and forth at the rainbow bridge boarder a million times, I have NEVER seen the RCMP in their ceremonial red coat garb. Do they do that? :/

protect queer art

I'm going to the tour in Manchester on 13th Feb, coming on my own so wondered if anyone might be getting a drink or Something bforehand and may like to meet. Thank youuu

if i could switch lives with anyone it'd be phil. he's having a great time.

Phil cannot let go of what the hotel neighbors were doing 😂😂

they were in Wichita, Kansas here (my hometown!!)

Think abt it, if they were married Phil wouldn’t have to testify against him in the dan v cheetah court drama

Saw you two last night in minneapolis and it was amazing!! :) so much fun. Thank you for coming to our chilly hovel and putting up with our filthiness. I was all the way in the back, but I was doing a :O face throughout. <3

i always get so excited when yall mention Wyoming but weirdly enough you guys have mentioned it more than i would ever assume lol

I have never been to a movie theatre WITHOUT ads in the US. What kind of magical place did they go to?

Just get a rainbow flag to hang for the bonus yaps

the video essay is so good alfdkksfj

To Dan thinking he can kill a cheetah: Have you EVER tried making a HOUSECAT do something it didn't want to do? That mayyyy change your perspective a bit 😂

Them on steroids is the closest we’ll get to synced pheriods

i'm so sad I won't get to see you guys when you are in NYC anymore! unfortunately, i am employed and now have to work that night :((( but I guess if anyone needs a ticket to the show in brooklyn lmk :')

I think Phil would like "London Belongs to Me" by Saint Entienne (but what do i know lol)

wow phil's american is grrrreattttttt!

Dan has clearly never tried to get an angry cat into a carrier 💀

The way that I’m a medical student name Jenny but not THE medical student named Jenny 😭

loved this ep so much I came back here. excited for the next one already :))))) love u

why choose violence? cheetahs are also famously Big Babies, just be calm & they'll match your energy. odds are you'll have a 120 pound purring cuddle buddy. They give them service golden retrievers in zoos to calm their anxiety. Bond with them about your mutual anxiety! +10 animal handling, gain cheetah familiar, solid dubs all round

how does dan plan to both wrap his arms around a cheetah while also protecting his neck does he have extra arms?? also does he think he can choke out a cheetah to Death??

I am ELATED that they reacted to this video essay

i wish i could go see you guys in Detroit while i’m in the state 😭 i should’ve bought tickets months ago 😭

Phil is lucky that Dan puts up with his little brother behaviour, cause I would be pissed off if he just pulled my curtain open in the middle of the night or always wanted to swap drinks with me, cause he doesn't like his 😭 but also, Dan you are too woke to be a man who can't do laundry, just teach yourself bro ffs.

Cannot believe you said resident evil wasn’t scary wth 😭 the multi-zombie was horrifying

Day 2 of asking DnP to react to HSM2 (best one)

Come to Pittsburgh

Omg where can I get the shirt Dan is wearing

I didn't know cinemas could not have ads, i think you guys just went to a fancy one

I agree that food is better from your partner's plate! I do not like cheezits that much but if they are my partner's snack, damn they slap

i love the phod on the road

None of that food sounds real. Like why is there four adjectives and four butter flavoured syrup options

Obsessed with Phil's energy here

Hey so this is officially my favorite podcast episode. The whimsy and delight of seeing y’all be radically yourselves and so relaxed and goofy (despite probably insane stress) is a shot of pure joy

Hi:3 I just got home from chesterfield show!!! I love you guys it was so fun

I just left the Chesterfield show and I need to say that even though I have been to so many concerts and have met so many bands in my 30 years on earth, I could not believe my eyes. Like I knew they exist outside of a screen but they existed in front of me and I fear their height.

phil try pecan crunch latte it’s so buss pls review

Come to Alaska?

I was at the Denver show and at the Q&A!!! I was in that pic!!!!

you don't pronounce the t in toronto. it's toronno okay?

That matchup scenario isn’t realistic, Dan could harness the strategy humans have used for generations: chasing the cheetah until it’s exhausted and then bashing it with a rock or something

I learned recently that hyenas can legit crush and digest bones, so Dan DEFINITELY could not win loool

I can't wait for the Alanta GA show !!!!!

Background looks so good! Is there any way it could be a different colour in the pham bit at then end though like normal plssss

“Do you want a job?👀” in the middle of the video really cracked me tf UP

does dan think he can only bleed out via his neck?

I’m so sad you’re going to be in Ohio on my mom’s birthday- wish I could find seats together, I’d take her to the show!

in the parking lot before the hard launch tour waiting until i can get in <3

I fly between Texas and London quite often and I do the map thing 😭 I just stare at it for like 9 hours lol

Dan was really feeling bouncing on that hotel couch 👀😂

You seriously need to get that guy on the pod!

To me it looks like they’re in a glass shower together. Or a plastic quarantine pod? Or a medical containment isolation barrier? I’m here for it…

I think Phil would be cloud berry flavored :)

OMG I’M SO READY FOR THE SHOW TOMORROW NIIIIGHT! 🎉🔥 Also, I was so shocked to see the Hard Launch background and set up, you guys really found a way to bring it with you 😂 Loving it

Just accidentally almost uploaded my passport information here.

I think this was one of my favourite episodes of the phodcast until now, and the react to the cheetah essay was everything I hoped for lol

I’m so mad that I won’t be able to go to my rescheduled San Jose show ughhh i want that 2009 phan tee saur baddddd

communal banana 😭😭😭😭

Imagine trying to show the cheetah essay to a nonphannie person and having to explain all the inside jokes beautifully used in it, im crying

Cregg Hive rise up!!!

is the blonde one single

I literally got the membership just so I could see if Dan could win against a cheetah💀

‘Don’t vape it’s bad for you’ You can take this Foger from my cold dead hands also I’m older than both of you and you’re not my real dads

Wait, guys, we're being unfair. The essay establishes that while a generic human of Dan's size would stand a chance against a cheetah, indoor catboy Daniel Howell in specific is not a good fighter. But what if we make the same concession for the cheetah? Instead of a wild animal who hunts every day, what if we pit Dan against a cheetah raised in captivity? An anxious mess who needs its emotional support dog to tell it that the food the humans offered is safe to eat.

Enjoying the bisexual background today lads

That video was hilarious! Can't wait to see you guys next week in Toronto!! ** Editing to add, I showed my husband the cheetah video (he is a Phannie by association cuz I make him go to all your shows with me) and he believes in you, Dan!!!

amazing production. I really wasnt expecting that phackround

im crying at "i cant find it" in 12:04 im so sorry editor that you even had to try

hello phodcast phuppies

Watching you watch that INCREDIBLE fan edit of the cheetah thing was so so so funny I want more of that - more of you watching fanmade stuff would be amaze <3

Phil having those upsie daisy dreams

omggg im so glad you guys enjoyed the resident evil movie!! eeek

loving how hyper the tour/motel/steroids have made you on this week's pod omg

I love that they took the phroducers on tour with them!

Phil is dreaming he's in the night(mare)garden fr

Ok but this travel pod set up is 10/10!! That sofa looks so much cosier than your fuckass inflatable chairs lads time to yeet them

I do strongly believe that sister Daniel could kill a cheetah

This whole podcast would have given me an aneurysm if I saw it in 2016

thanks guys... love this 💙 enjoy the USA road trip! I love trying out new food in new places

Can't wait to see you guys in KC tomorrow!!!

Butterfingers in the big 2026

Dan saying he wanted to hear another HL because he was having so much fun was too cute😂

fathers watch La Bola Negra please

it's evident that dan has not tried to hold a struggling house cat. even a small cat who does not want to be held is a challenge. a cheetah would 100% win

You know when you were wondering "why would people want us to do a podcast?" It's this energy we've all been waiting for.

love you guys :)

I got in a car crash last night (I'm okay) and laughing hurts but I can't go a Monday without getting hard.

tbh i haven’t seen anyone who isn't dan howell truly believe he could fight a cheetah

Phil’s hair looks soooooo freaking good in this

is the blond one single

the butter situation is way too much for my heart to handle idk how ppl do it waaay too greasy

I love that Phils sound of kissing (the newlyweds behind him) sounds like someone eating BUT Dan’s fake puffing (on a joint) was clearly kissing

Unperformative, very proud round of applause for the essay!! A+++ CASE CLOSED 👏👏👏👏👏👏

If I see them in Philly before the show I’m going to congratulate them on not getting shot

I wanna hard launch that my retired parents are phomophobic, because they told me, I couldn't watch you gays at the phreakfast table, can you phelieve it?!

Take a shot every time Dan says 'the way'

Loving the Hard Launch on the road screen background!

Q: What do you do if you work place forgot your 25th year work anniversary? My work place celebrated milestones like these and they straight up forgot it. Do start a GoFundMe because usually they give out a small bonus item or money.

The vibes of this episode were so good. Threesome in the room next door, insane immigration stories (I hate dealing with immigration so I get it), delightful Here's the Thing and HLs. But the energy was just so good. Lucky you for getting in to see a doctor here so quickly. Normally it takes weeks or months and in some cases years to get in to see anyone. I've been to a vocal doctor before too and my experience was more like Phil's and I did cough. Sounds like the steroids were a trip though. Hopefully you were able to get some rest. I don't know that I'd love being on a bus and sleeping. I'd probably get sick. Also just so many cute moments - Phil missing Dan and wanting to see his face and Dan buying Phil's back up drink when he inevitably doesn't like the first one. So good. Also so relatable on the wanting everyone to have a good time and planning for everything thing. And Phil, America was made for you. If you like sweet things this is the place for you. Insane that you were beaten by the bagel. And that cinema popcorn situation sounds like a lot. The reaction to the video essay was so good too. So funny and definitely very well done. Loved the set up and everything for this too - very cozy and just good vibes.

richard anatomy reveal!

Seeing Phil’s post from the keeper of the plains and the blurry picture in the background, my hometown??

imagine having adult fun in a hotel room and two over-ripe twinks talk about it in detail on their podcast

The neighbours were also hard

watching this pod after taking a phedible and god this shit has me dying laughing

I wanna impulsively buy tickets for detroit, but it’s several hours away so I’d have to take a Greyhound both ways, plus I’d be going alone. usually I’d be down but I have a lot of health shit and I’m just getting out of the hospital, so I think it’s probably not smart lmao. I have so much FOMO but I just wanna thank you guys for continuing the pod on tour and kind of taking us all with you :)

that video essay person has nile red energy I love it

can't explain it but i always thought dan v cheetah would be taking place in the savannah

Danny was just holding his boobs all episode

Y'all I'm just gonna come out and say it I think this was my favorite podcast Can I petition for the two of you to always sit on a sofa next to each other. The energy was amazing! Also, Dan, you can't fight a cheetah, I'm sorry. you would 100% die. great job, love you guys

my face hurts from smiling too hard

I am very impressed by Phil's flexibility on the sofa, he's hitting that half lotus pose with ease

"Nose circumstance" during the endoscopy part is throwing me back to "nose pressure" I still say that to myself everytime I hear someone say "no pressure"

I ate an entire talenti ice cream during the viewing of this pod, dads. Are you proud of me. I love you.

this may be my fav pod episode yet?! besides the dentist story time one LMAO

Monica is correct

I am 27 years old and I just watch the map on the flight. Not only old people do that lol

Phil what the hell is the ninetale thing????

the amount of times dan clutched his boobies in this

That offering to the temple was peak. Kudos to Abrase the Void.

“There was only one couch” new trope just dropped you guys and I love it for these long-legged criss-cross-applesauce mfers

okay, maybe Dan couldn't win against a cheetah, but Sister Daniel absolutely could

If i was a vape i would be crème brûlée juul pod for sureee

Video essay of a video essay

“we’ve all seen it!” Personally i actually have not seen that specifically 😂😭💀

There's two women in the room! 🤣

My first phatreon vid :0

MY HOME TOWN?!!!!???

Saw dip and pip in Dallas, and it was amazing…

in phistory..... and then that noise and look was crazyyyyyy omg

so what if they shared underwear its not like its anything new

amazing episode i love being alive

hellll yeaaaahhhh vibes are immaculate way to pull. it. off.

“Weaning off, like breast milk.” Is going to be an unfortunate new vocal stim. Thank you Phil

mind you thats davis next door

I love how they just unironically give us whatever the fuck we want

I love the unbelievably censored throwback

it's monday and i AM hard let's go bro

phil thats my exact bagel order except i get it with cinnamon sugar on top

My phoints bring all the boys to the yard

Yay!!!! I made it to the credits 😆😄

They were midwest princes here 💕

Dan and Phil try American food???? I’m talking the mac n cheese, hamburger helper, crumbl cookie, anything red 40- GO TO OLIVE GARDEN GET THE UNLIMITED BOWLS

Thank you for doing this on the road! That video at the end was honestly made so well lol

Alamo puts too much butter 😭 it's closer to soup

Not to be like "omg they touched" but can they please do every podcast on a small sofa together cuz the amount of cute and strange physical interactions this episode was divine

is this Richard the reason y’all were yapping about the goddamn laundry so much in OKC

omg hahahah yaaayyy finally i'm on the random pham patreon list

no worries if not is sooo real

daniel i love you but i think if i took a shot every time you cupped your breasts in this video i'd get alcohol poisoning

the essay at the end was so beautiful i ascended

imagine fucking in a hotel room, and then right after hearing two british guys mock you in their podcast from the other side of the wall

Phil I in fact have NEVER seen A ninetales being filled with milk😟

Thank god some other nerd out there did the research. I can sleep with this knowledge now lol.

Dan and Phil filmed in my home town and all I got was this Phodcast

Finally, I can eat something!

love the alamo drafthouse reference while i’m actively wearing my alamo drafthouse shirt. though they ruined their queso dip which is Genuinely heart breaking

see you on Wednesday. unless a cheetah appears in the middle of Oklahoma or Kansas to fight you to the death before then. 💙

I’m so cooked, lads. Phil said Federal law and my brain autocorrected it to Phederal 💀

That video essay is high art

there are nine men in the room

10/10 the episode, I almost died with the phystory part HAHAHAHA

wym yall were in Vegas but I can’t even see u on tour 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Map man is me fr

Toronto mention 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

Is Dan lactating

As someone who lives in Wichita, I'm so sorry you had to experience this place

As a doctor sorry it is wean for steroids 😅

As someone who lives in the south all of this is so American coded! We love a ridiculous snack!

Things Dan and Phil love: Women Cats America

How can I see you guys when you're not flying to Hawaii :')

I cannot believe they were staying in my hometown

My wife said she would bet on a house cat against Dan 😭🤣

Can't pinpoint a single instance (as there were too many to count), but Dan is so much free-er in his mannerisms in this episode. Maybe it's the positive feedback from a live audience that's helping him be even more comfortable with their collaborative gayness. Loving it no matter what it is

frying pans on bare flesh sounds like something dan would've searched in the p*rn collab with tyler oakley lmao

The Rise and Fall of The Midwest Phrincesses

Commando meet and greet tickets for sale hmu

there's a threesome in the room

I was at the show in OKC. +Love

Thinking (tm) about who u guys collabed with in LA... its 2016 vidcon all over again /s /lh

i cant get start of something new from high school musical out of my head because of yall lmao... anyways if u think about it tour IS the start of something new

if you've resigned yourself to the fact that you probably can't kill a cheetah then what IS the biggest animal you could kill?

Why was this the best episode

i’m hard launching that dan and phil need to experience duluth GA bc it is like strip malls meet asia it’s epic

Real question how can they tell whose pants are whose

I just went to alamo drafthouse to watch twilight new moon in boston

I appreciate the highlighting of how many damn times Dan has bitten Phil 💀

omg that’s us (monica and amy)

“i don’t have advice for you” I GENUINELY LAUGHED OUT LOUD 😭

Please hire that essay-maker as an editor. The skills. The comic timing. The encyclopedic knowledge of lore.

I could handle a cheetah, with churos and gabapentin. I couldn't fucking kill one

and Hugo's height is measured ground to the base of his neck so with his head up he's even taller

Weird thought going to the cinema and not seeing the same Royal Navy ad three times

Phil most situationships aren’t 16 years of total dedication. They’re sort of…the complete opposite

Okay that video essay was so good 👏

Unparalleled vibes

I love that one of then is always wearing a shirt with a picture of them on it. It’s giving self shipper

I NEED phil to try a beaver tail while in Canada (its fried dough with sweet toppings)

need their thoughts on the covid conscious lesbian bar in western massachusetts

10 out of 10 gordon ramsay impression from phil

the background is so cool!!

Drink place rec for you lads; 7Brew! It's a drive-thru/walk up window situation, but there are a bazillion combos and it's so fun. (My personal fave is the Mocha Banana Bread latte. They also have slushies, lemonades, teas, energy drinks. All kinds of stuff!)

omg I love the set!! very cool and professional 🙏🙏

what is it with phil and beavers, first hoppers then bucee? 😭😭

i love that he's still convinced he could kill a cheetah

Dan and Phil need to research the Alaska State Fair biggest vegetable competition. Bets Gladys for sure 🤣 it’s a whole thing in Alaska. https://www.frontiersman.com/defending-champ-earns-another-title-with-an-1-820-pound-pumpkin/

HARD 💜

This was such a great episode💜💜💜

As someone with rabbits…hay does not taste as good as it smells

creative direction goes hard, u guys can make a motel look this pretty

thank u guys for going above and beyond for us while on tour 🥺 appreciate and love u

Cheetahs are endangered, I can’t believe Dan would do this #cancelled

they were midwestern here ❤️

I don't think you guys had a authentic American theater experience because I get normal-ass ads before trailers all the time nowadays. Also we put on our own butter.

when you guys said you were going to do the podcast on tour i did NOT think you would bring the good cameras and mics and a cool background. y’all are so extra lmao

that was cozy actually, I liked the road/hotel podcast vibe💜

I love Dan vigorously agreeing with himself from two episodes ago (or four, I'm hot Idk how to count)

Love the backdrop! Shoutout to the neighbors threesome, hope they all had a great time 😂😂😂

alright. get ready and impress the canadians. toronto is pronounced "torono". drop the second "t". ur welcome!!

not u guys recycling richard's balls

It's been less than a week since my show. I'm wearing the same shirt as Dan and my piss bracelet.

OKC has the cheapest weed!!

Will you be on Smosh?!?!?

Mate get yourselves a throw if you're going to sit on those fuckass hotel couches

I love that they watched the essay😅

I’m not sure why the fact they took the producers on tour with them surprised me but it did. I’m even less sure why I thought they’d just try and deal with the phod on their own while *on tour*

True there’s only one way to find out haha OH MISTER BEASTTTTT lol

very distracted by dan grabbing his boobs so often, someone needs to make a montage

“I would say phil as my last word, as though you’d help somehow” the fanfic writers are gonna LOVE this

Had so much fun meeting you guys yesterday! The show was amazing you did a great job!

any time they film anything on tour the energy approaches pinof levels of unhinged

Really glad for this to be my first week as a phatreon member

Has anyone gotten their Phan card?🥲 I still haven't and I subbed to the highest tier the second it dropped🥲

cuties

OK, I just don’t understand how Dan thinks he can protect his neck and also wrestle a cheetah at the same time. What are you protecting your neck with? Your hands? Are you wearing a neck brace of some description?

ending the phodcast with “good night” while posting this in the afternoon THEIR TIME is so funny to me

THEY'RE HERE IN THE MIDWEST I'M SO FUCKING SCARED

Week 44 of waiting for my name in the patreon credits :/

The mobile podcast backdrop is so cool! Y’all have thought of everything 💜

i love that the phroducers are on the road too!

The hubris of Dan 🐆🐆😹😹

Y’all act like Colorado is the only place weed is legal in the US. It’s legal in nearly half of US states!

I have no idea what the hell your butter situation was. I’ve lived in California, North Carolina, Maine, and Massachusetts, and i have never heard of all that

dan out here making the exact noise from the international hit song The 7th Element by Vitas

It's the start of the tour and you're already husky 😭😭

Guys, do you think you could put a timestamp in the caption as to where the patreon part start? I'm still watching the first part on youtube and then switch to here, but now that there is no more patreon lighting, I actually have to click a bit to find where the patreon bit starts. PHANKS!

That video is art

The threesome in the next room hearing you podcast about them: 😳😠😰

Loving the pure chaos energy of this episode. Podcast on the road is amazing, thank you

They feel much more unhinged this episode and I'm so here for it

That video essay is the most locked in I’ve ever been to learn anything 👏👏👏👏👏👏 absolute cinema (with the butter-fingeriest popcorn)

HARD ON THE ROAD!!!

alamo drafthouse cannot even compare to Cinemark popcorn, you guys have to redeem yourselves

i think theres a weed strain (in mass) called blue dream, which reminds me of phillys glazed cinamon dream bun

I’m impressed with the makeshift podcast setup!

Thank you for reacting to that video essay. I loved that Phil was absolutely locked in and ultimately vindicated.

I'm a little worried that you guys sat in front of my cousin, who got back from her honeymoon around the same time you landed in the US, and was gushing about how they made out for most of the flight

“can we get mamdani in kansas for the potholes” PLEASE i beg kansan approved idea

dan doubling down on his 30% chance against a cheetah is amazing, ykw u go king, believe in yourself. (phil pls don't let him go near a cheetah)

I’ve been waiting for them to see the essay video!!!!

thank you for the cheetah vid reaction, it’s everything I ever dreamed it would be

I can't believe there was no defense or comment on "decent Mario Kart player"

i had to be on steroids the last week so my parasocial relationship with them just went to the next level dog

peeeeeakkk 💓🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

'protect your neck' dan has nver heard of shock, bleeding out or any other organ

This was wonderful

I’m so excited I get to see y’all Friday!!

The details in the cheetah vid kill me. LouAnn on the 2nd pontoon, the 6'3-6'4 height, Emo Goose, capitalism as one of Dan's opponents.. who are you video essay phannie? You know BALL

I need a sparkly tumblr gif right now of Princess Phil from the Phalendar that says "Maple syrup and a dream"

I beg Phil to go to Dutch bros you would love it

"am i not the boss" BROTHER

i literally believe in dan but okay

i’m sorry dan is the straightest fucking man when it comes to fighting a FUCKING CHEETAH! ENOUGH 😭😂

I love the mobile set!!!!

i don't think y'all understand how importand the resident evil discussion is for me specifically. one of the movies of the year everybody get #preggerforcregger

Okay but what unspeakable things do I have to do to whom to get dip and pip in a video with Safiya Nygaard?

I live in Las Vegas and I’m mildly devastated i didn’t see you guys. I have actively told my bf to not buy me VIP because I just don’t think I could stand to meet you guys I’m too awkward. It wouldn’t be a good interaction

I still struggle to understand how exactly would dan wrestle the cheetah, if both of his hands are protecting his necks

Phil Lester would never lie (unless it is for entertainment purposes)

Nothing better than Motel Sex and then definitely pizza! 🍕 😈 😆

there's a horse in the room and it's phil

I wasn't expecting such a well thought out video essay, but that was good

Need d&p to know horses are measured to the shoulder

THE PINK TEE. 😭💖

on the road phodcast set is so cool 💜

Butterfingers is the real callback to 2009 Dan Howell

My eastern European immigrant dad (now in UK) once almost didn't pass the American border control because he got flustered on a question and said "in England they call it a flat not an apartment" and the man raised his voice and said "THIS IS AMERICA". Not a joke. About 5 years ago

FINALLLLLLLYYYYYYY i scream into the void

Jumped right over here from YouTube 👏🏻

I’m so excited to see you guys on Wednesday. I can’t wait.

as a singer listening to the laryngoscopy story was hilarious, it's such a weird experience and so scary

loved how we used twink creativity on the road.

Didn't wanna put this on YouTube comments but Dan my love why are you constantly grabbing your crotch

Phil's description of the bed on wheels reminded me of the movie little nemo 🤣

Phinally! I’ve been waiting all evening phathers!

The energy was wild in this one what has that American air done to you guys

First pod on the phroad😍

no ads in the movie is definitely more specific to that theater not all america, every one i’ve ever been to has had ads, they’ve only gotten worse with ai 😭

remembering phil's beaver family from that game where they all ended up eaten </3 rip what was it bertha?

I WAS WATCHING OTHER VIDEOS ON HERE AND SAW THIS POP UP AHHHHHH

not having the patreon colors to guide me to when the bonus yap starts made me so sad but its okay lads the stripped back set is very cute

Breast shoulder. My breasts also have shoulders. I get it.

Finally that’s all I can say. I’ve been waiting to see this all day. Hope everyone is having an amazing day today.

PHIL ENJOYING CREAM CHEESE???

Watching on YouTube and Patreon simultaneously for peak views

it’s been 45 seconds and they’re pretend moaning… this episode is going to be so unhinged i already know

you can't just put a frame from how to befriend your favorite internet stars and NOT react to it at some point

Dads what time do you call this ! I have kids to take to school in the morning

YESSS THE CHEETAH VID

Idk why but it looks like plastic even though I bet that its a green screen - or is it?

THANK GOD I started my workout without you and I can finally suffer 24% less

just witnessed phistory being mentioned for the phirst and last time in phistory

Illegal to be this early

phreaky neighbors

Midwest Motel. This needs to be the title of a song on the next D&P Beats album.

Hello divas Austin show was sick. Y’all made a new phan out of my escort 💫

hi

just late as hell

Ngl I'm here early for the cheetah vid react. Genius.

Obsessed with the hard on the road set she’s stunning 💜

ESSAY TIMEEEE

Only 4 more HARD mondays until I see you in Mexico City!!!!

YAYYAYAYAYAY!!!

There’s nine men in the room. 😅

theres multiple men in the room having hard mondays

YAY

SMH im trying to get ready for work woth no pod :((

I was rewatching poppy playtime for the 9th time just to feel something

phil doubling down on going inside a beaver 😭

I’ve beeen waiting for this

YESSSSSS

Got the phoint ready

absolutely obsessed with the hotel setup btw. hard launch on the road is awesome

I just have to say absolute props to the person who made that essay video it's genuinely one of my favourite videos

Yippee!!

the background is so cool, i was fully prepared for yall to just be raw doggin it on the bus or something (woah) but ofc you had to be extra 💖 i love it

Thank you for this i almost formed an entire thought

WERE ON WHEELS BABYYYY

imagine hearing dans loud ass screeching while you're trying to get it up

It’s about damn time i stayed up past my old man ass bedtime for this

Phil your mind clock is broken

YES IM FINALLY HARD

omg finally yay

really thought i was gonna be phlaccid today thank god

Thank you for locking in on the road💜

let’s go gay people let’s go

I'M HARDDDDDDD

YAY

protect queer art

there's a fetus phan in the room (make them stop staring at me)

YIPPEE!!!!!! PHATREON PHODCAST!!

insane refresh pull