19 - Tojo Ayaka's Feelings②

RAW

It's early afternoon, but there are still not many customers.

The cafe is wrapped in a relaxed and stylish silence.

However, I was in the exact opposite state of mind.

"So, then... did I already like you at that time, Otsuki-kun?"

Unable to hide my agitation, I ask Saki, who is sitting opposite me, with a slightly trembling voice.

"I guess that's what you would call it."

My best friend answers as if it's obvious, so I take a sip of cold water to calm myself down.

"But... why did I fall in love with him, even though I barely know him?"

I hadn't had any contact with Otsuki at school, so the moment you come to my house as a housekeeper, I suddenly fall in love with him. Is that even possible?

"You fell in love because you didn't know them?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Because you don't know them, you want to know more. And when you find out a new side of them, you like them even more. Isn't that what love is like?"

You find out a new side of them and like them even more...

Saki's words suddenly reminded me of what happened yesterday.

Indeed, when I met Otsuki by chance at the supermarket, I was really attracted to his innocent smile. I was really drawn to him when he was not a housekeeper.

"So that's what love is like..."

"Oh? Do you already have an idea?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"Hehehe, that's nice, that's youth."

Unable to resist Saki's smirking teasing, I looked away.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I'll have an iced cafe au lait."

Just in time, the waiter brought me what I ordered.

I immediately sip my iced cafe au lait through a straw.

The bittersweet, cold iced cafe au lait cools and calms my hot, flushed body a little.

With a slightly calmer head, I think I'll organize the conversations I've had with Saki so far.

First of all, I like Otsuki...

This is a fact I can't turn a blind eye to. I feel like I have to face these feelings properly.

But there's one thing I'm a little dissatisfied with.

And that's what made me fall in love with Otsuki.

Saki says not to rely on manga and novels, but it's hard to give up on admiration so easily.

If he offers you an umbrella when you're caught in a sudden rain shower, or if he comes to your rescue when you're being harassed by some delinquents, or if the boy you like is actually a childhood friend you used to have a crush on...I don't have a childhood friend who's a boy, so that's not possible.

But as a girl, I think it's natural to admire such situations. I mean... I'm a girl.

"Saki, you had a boyfriend before, right?"

"Yeah."

"What was the trigger?"

"Hmm, what was the trigger... what was it? I'm sure..."

"Sure?"

I stare at Saki, waiting for her answer.

"Just because?"

"I, just because..."

Saki gives me a wry smile as I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get the answer I was hoping for.

"That's how it is in reality. You think someone is nice, and before you know it, you start following them with your eyes, and before you know it, you fall in love. That's how it goes. I don't really know what the trigger was."

"Is that so...?"

But you're right, reality isn't a manga.

There's no way that romantic things like that are lying around everywhere.

Saki looks a little annoyed at me trying to convince myself like that.

"You know, Ayaka is obsessed with the reason why she fell in love with Otsuki-kun, but there's already a reason, right?"

"Huh?"

There's already a reason? Was there something? A reason that made me fall in love with Otsuki-kun?

"Huh? Ah... you know, Ayaka can be a bit of a wreck sometimes. Well, that's what's cute about her, but I can't help but feel like it."

"I... isn't that bad, wreck?"

I'm not that wreck! I'd like to think so.

Sometimes my mom and other friends say I'm "natural," but that doesn't mean I'm a wreck... no!

"I am a wreck. Because there was a great reason why I fell in love with Otsuki-kun, and I've forgotten about it."

"There's no particular reason like that, you know?"

"There is. I asked for a housekeeping service, and a boy from my class who was secretly high-spec showed up. That was the reason."

I was shocked.

"If you just look at the words, this is the title of a romantic comedy light novel."

Y-You're right!

Now that you mention it, there may be a lot of manga and novels with titles like that these days.

"Have you finally realized, Ayaka? Or do you need a stronger trigger than this?"

"No, no...it's enough."

Ah, I can't make any more excuses.

I'm completely in love with Otsuki.

"I...I've fallen in love."

"You've finally given up."

"Well, I don't have any excuses now."

Maybe I've liked Otsuki from the beginning.

Maybe it was love at first sight.

Up until now, so many boys have told me they fell in love at first sight, and I've turned them down every time.

I thought I couldn't understand love at first sight.

"Hey, Saki. What should I do from now on?"

This is my first love.

First love.

I have no idea what to do.

"Should I confess...?"

When I think about it, I feel so nervous that my heart will come out of my mouth. I'll have a heart attack and stop.

I wonder if the boys who have confessed to me up until now were nervous like this?

If that's the case, I feel a little sorry for turning them down so quickly without thinking it through.

Saki said, just as I was thinking about confessing to Otsuki, she stopped me.

"Don't be hasty, Ayaka. You can't confess yet."

"Eh? You can't...?"

If you realize your feelings for Otsuki, isn't there no other way but to confess?

As I was thinking that, Saki gave me some advice.

"For now, confessing is just your goal. First, you need to take steps to get there."

"Steps? What kind?"

"For now, you're going to ask Otsuki out on a date to get closer to him."

A date, with Otsuki...

That means going to an amusement park together, shopping at the mall... or going to the beach. Am I going to show Otsuki my swimsuit?

What should I do? It's so embarrassing just thinking about it! But... I want to see Otsuki in a swimsuit too...

"Hey Ayaka, you're smiling sloppily."

"Uh... this, well..."

"What?! Maybe I was fantasizing about something naughty?"

"Huh?! No way!!"

I deny Saki's words with all my might.

It's not like I was just thinking about going to the beach with Otsuki, there's nothing shameful about it, because if you go to the beach it's natural to wear a swimsuit, and it's unavoidable that it will be in your field of vision...

"Hmm, I see."

"Wh, what is it?... It's true, isn't it?"

Saki keeps looking at me suspiciously.

I have to change the subject somehow.

"Oh, that reminds me. I promised to go to the zoo with Otsuki."

When I said that, Saki lifted her hips slightly and showed a surprised look.

"What?! What?! You've already managed to make it a date?"

"Well... to be precise it wasn't a date, I was nominally accompanying Ryota, well... that's how it was..."

"I see... so Ryota is with you..."

Saki put her hand on her chin as if she was deep in thought.

"That lowers the hurdle, but there's also the possibility that Otsuki won't think of it as a date... Have you decided when to go to the zoo yet?"

"No, not yet. We'll discuss the date later."

"I see, I see... so maybe we can use the date discussion as an excuse..."

Saki was deep in thought again.

Unlike me, Saki has had a few romantic experiences up until now.

It seemed best to keep quiet and wait for instructions from her senior.

I waited quietly for several seconds. Saki, having gathered her thoughts, takes out a coupon-like piece of paper from her bag and looks at me.

"As your best friend, I will give you Ayaka's first secret love gadget."

Saki says this and hands me what look like two tickets.

What are these? A movie discount voucher?

"Use these to invite Otsuki-kun to the movies."

"What? A-a sudden movie date?"

"Suddenly? You've already promised to go to the zoo, right?"

"Okay."

"Then, while you're discussing the date, you can ask him to go see a movie with you."

"Uh, really...."

Isn't that a pretty high hurdle?

I-I wonder if I can invite him properly...

As I hesitate a little, Saki advises me.

"Ayaka, you're still at the starting point of your love, you know? Or maybe you're not even there yet."

"Eh? Is that so?"

"Yes. Love is a competition. A very, very tough competition. So much so that you regret participating in such a race."

"It's kind of...scary."

"Yeah. But once you fall in love, there's nothing you can do about it. Before you know it, you're automatically following the person you like, exchanging a few words in the morning makes your day brighter, and on days you can't see them, you're constantly thinking about them. There's no way you can stop it on your own. It just happens."

Saki's words resonate heavily inside me.

What about me? I like Otsuki, but maybe I'm not there yet...? But maybe I'll get there soon?

Saki told me that I haven't even reached the starting point yet...love is scary...but I'm a little, no, quite...excited.

"I'll ask him to go to the movies."

I say, staring at the discount coupon Saki gave me.

"Yeah, I'll try."

After those few words, Saki smiles at me.

"Hey, you'll give me advice again, right?"

"Of course! Actually, I'm a little happy to be able to talk about love with Ayaka like this."

My friend's reliable reply makes me relax.

"You know, Ayaka, you've been avoiding guys, haven't you? But I'm really glad that someone you're interested in, someone you like, has appeared, and I truly believe that."

"Yeah, thank you."

Saki is my irreplaceable best friend after all.

I'm really glad to have a friend like Saki.

"I'll try my best!"

"Yeah, yeah, do your best, do your best! I'll support you with all my might!"

After that, I had my first love conversation with my best friend.

On the way back from the cafe.

As I walked down the path leading to my house, I suddenly looked up at the sky.

My feelings overlapped with the endless blue sky, not a single cloud in sight.

I've... fallen in love!

Once I realized this, it was as if the world had changed.

My heart was beating so fast that everything I saw sparkled, and my life up until now felt faded. It felt like it was spreading out endlessly, just like the summer sky above my head.

I looked at the two discount coupons I treasured.

Saki had given me these secret love gadgets.

I'll use them to ask Otsuki out on a date!

Summer vacation had only just begun.

Feeling excited like I'd never felt before, and with an equal amount of anxiety, I walked out with a spring in my step.

"Love is amazing!!"

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Ayaka's feelings towards Haruto: ...I love you.