Young love

This hit me hard, too. You're gonna be fine We can all make it together. :heart:

* hugs *

I spent from 19-26 as a shut in, with at least 4 of those years so withdrawn from the world that many I knew (online) labeled me a hikikomori. (I’m not sure if that label was really appropriate but…idk). A lot of the pain I felt that led me to that point in my life was the pains of young love (and a whole heap of dysphoria…) Towards the end of that time, I started venturing out again. Dragging myself to anime cons, board game groups, etc etc. I felt unloveable, unsociable, ugly, nasty, and a whole heap of horrid adjectives, but the damndest thing happened at a Warhammer store of all places. The store opened up on my route to the grocery store and it had a diamond store font and I couldn’t fathom why a jewelry store would be called “Warhammer”. So, after about three months of passing by it, I finally decided to go poke my head in. Not five minutes later a gaggle of fellow trans women walked in and that random, five minute trip spawned by curiosity was how I met my now wife. I’ve since gotten involved in the local underground music scene and I’ve met a lot of trans people struggling about finding love, especially when it seems like others find it so easily. More times than I can count now I’ve had to be the shoulder to cry on for people in my community. The despair and self loathing, all of the pain that I used to feel (and still do sometimes because self hatred is a nasty thing to have to work through)… This comic really encapsulates that feeling. It reminds me of my own experiences when I was younger but also several friends of mine that are in very dark places and unable to really find a way out. There’s no words of comfort that can really heal those wounds, just like there’s no secret or one weird trick at finding love. All I can really say is love is random. Ironically, the more you seek it the harder it is to find. The only one real piece of advice I can say is love can’t happen when your (past me, lookin at you…) a shut in and not actually talking to people. The more time your out there, meeting people and interacting with others, the more times that dice is rolled and EVENTUALLY you will find it. (Jokingly; if you can find and get involved in the local DIY music scene, that is a bit of a cheat code. But at least in my experience OH MY GOD be careful, some of those girls are out of their minds)

This is truly intense. It describes me and probably most of us. Thank you for speaking for us.

Normal is overrated. There is no glory in this weird, cis-normative, wish-wash concept that looks different for everyone anyways. But I am sure that you will find real love one day.

I think I speak for everyone here when I say you're not unattractive. You're hot, AND popular, AND talented. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that the right opportunities are rare, even for hotties. As for butterflies, they can still come. Finding love also means finding out that what you can't have is way, way more compelling than something you can. Aside from the anticipation of a new lover, this feeling often only persists if you fall into limerence, a key aspect of which is for the person you're infatuated with to be unavailable or just out of your grasp. That situation I just described is fun once, maybe twice, but it's a bad habit to form. Finding gentle love and settling down is much more stable, intrinsically better and it's important not to let your sense of what love is drift too far from that. It's important to give even that feeling breaks as well. Love fills the best moments, not every moment. Once you've had more experience a lot of the people we end up attracted to are only interesting during the chase, whether you're the pursuer or being pursued. Instead you gotta find that girl who feels like home, who wants more or less the same thing you do. Where it's good even on the quiet, tired days.

Hope this doesn’t come off as weird or overly parasocial, but as one of the patrons that’s seen a picture of you, the issue isn’t you being unattractive. You’re quite cute. That aside, I do understand how you feel… I’m in my late twenties, mourning the early-20s experiences others reminisce about that I never had, including the experiences of young love… to be honest, having spent those years trying to better myself wasn’t so bad, I don’t know if I would’ve handled being in a relationship as well as I know I could now. You’ve grown into who you are, become a better you. So maybe what we need isn’t young love, but a mature relationship. I hold hope that I’ll have that someday soon(ish), and I hope you’ll do the same. Best of luck.

I just want to let you know that I 100% relate to you on this one. I'm 37, but 38 is coming on fast and other than one long-distance relationship that didn't work out, I've never made it past a second date :( . I just want another woman with whom I can enjoy sex, romance, and explore my unabashed girly girl self with, but it feels like I'm chasing a dream without any results. I make friends easily, but actually having a romantic/sexual relationship isn't happening, and I don't really know why (outside of the fact that I work from home, so meeting new people doesn't happen super often). From what you share here, you seem cute, cool, and honestly, no more or less a fuckup than most people in the world (some people are just better at hiding it). I really hope things improve for the both of us <3 . Hang in there, you are not alone :)

My baby! 😟😟 I feel you but we have to believe that we still have opportunities for this too, otherwise we could miss them. Also, I have to tell myself all the time that the experiences that formed me also made me into the person that I am today and that is still a person with talent, skill, value and worth.

T..T This is incredibly sad (and somewhat relatable) I hope that the special person is out there somewhere and that one day you bump into each-other.

I chased validation through relationships a LOT pre-transition. Thankfully wasn't true about my relationship with my now wife, but we're poly and I'm getting that "young love" feeling about my new girlfriend, when she's older than me and I'm not spring chicken. I understand the wistfulness though, but I'm in your corner and hope you find that joy sooner than later

How you feel is how you feel, and nothing can tell you otherwise. However, you have yet to meet all the people in your life who will love you and who you will love. Keep your heart open for when you meet them. 💜

😢💔 No skill issues at all detected here! 🫂

I feel like I want to give you a hug.. I think you are really a treasure and you deserve every happiness...

One thing I can tell you is that even at 42 you can meet someone that makes your heart go pitter-patter. You are not too old for the kind of love you want, I promise 🫂

I feel that a lot. If you've accepted missing out, you're better than me at least.

I found my love in the mid 20s. Before that many didn't work. Many other people have such an experience, even non-queer ones. I root for you and wish you good luck!

Not having a relationship with someone taught me that sometimes, it's okay. I wasn't born normal, I was extremely premature and I had to live being different. But, I feel this comic, because, sometimes, when society pushes love, they want perfection instead of true and authentic connections. Sad, but, I've learned throughout my life to love myself, even though it's hard.

Never too late

aw shoot, relatable/10

Seems like it's a common experience across the trans spectrum. You aren't alone and we are here for you. ❤️

This truly hit me. We are here for you.

🫂

Nothing has to be done and over with just cuz you're not a kid anymore. I'm cheering for you Azul!

Very relatable 🥺 ❤️

🫂

Young love is powerful but rarely works out long term