Discussing 'Banished': Cameron
Soo, Cameron. Where do I start? Her PTSD was obviously a significant obstacle when it came to intimacy, and while hypnosis was what I’d intended to be used as a means of explaining how she overcome that, I think maybe looking back on it now, I probably could have done a much better job at foreshadowing the existence of abilities which could pull of magical feats like insta-hypnosis. My attempt at doing this was that moment when the matron heard Cameron’s whisper from a room away, though I do see in retrospect how really, really good hearing doesn’t quite allude to the existence of game changing abilities like hypnosis, or later on, mind reading and premonitions. Lol.
But that being said, that was only meant to be one dimension of what was at play in the first sex scene between Cameron and Nate. As I imagined it, these were two characters who had never had any significant or fulfilling intimacy during their time on earth; Cameron, because of her inability to come to terms with her abuse, and Nate who had only experienced intimacy coupled with abuse and manipulative behavior. So, to me, in that moment after the ‘ceremony’, this was an opportunity for both characters to experience those things that they always sort of wanted, but never had a chance to, and after the naked grinding that just went on, and lying there in a bed, naked, and alone, and in a world where it seemed they’d be sent essentially just to die, there was a bit of a feeling like ‘well we’re already wet, why not take a swim?’
Now obviously, there’s the hypnotic suggestion to consider as well, which basically did two things; to give them both a sense of comfort and security with each other, and to create within them the desire to have a child. The latter part, I figure, probably did some damage to the suspension of disbelief, and I did consider at the time to have the impregnation be accidental, but when I wrote it like that, it just didn’t feel right. I guess at the time, I went with my gut instinct, which did to some extent mean having her do something seemingly irrational, but which at the time, felt as if it were what she actually wanted… if that makes sense.
Now, later on I really did believe that the hypnotic suggestion was a plausible explanation for her overcoming her traumatic response to intimacy (with Nathan specifically, due to him being designated as a conditional source of comfort and safety). So it’s not that she’s over her PTSD, as that’s not really the kind of thing a person ever gets over, but rather that her usual instinctive resistance to physical contact isn’t there when it comes to Nate, allowing her to enjoy that feeling of closeness with him which she did always crave.
Anyway, I wrote this because it has been brought up on two occasions now, and while I don’t believe anything I’ve ever written is truly flawless, there are a lot of considerations I put into these things as I write them, and I am curious as to whether or not these explanations made sense to my readers, and just generally, how most of you felt about it/viewed it.
Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think!
Regards,
Kousaka~
Comments (5)
I realize I am very late to this conversation, but since Cameron is my #1.5 favorite character I feel compelled to weigh in with my thoughts. First, rewriting any chapters from the 1st arc would be a very bad idea, especially one as far back as chapter Two. This Chapter has been the foundation chapter for setting up this world and each subsequent chapter has built off of it, like ripples in a still pond when a small stone is cast into its center. To rewrite that chapter now, you might as well rewrite the whole story. Now, does this mean that nothing can be done to clear up some of the areas that could do with a revision/rewrite? No, not at all, what may be a better solution at this point in the story is to "fix" the areas you would like revisited by using exposition or internal monologs of characters to explain how they got to where they are. As an example, We know Nate chose to let Edwin be taken away by Ethan in order to save everyone from Hans. It would be natural for Cameron to lash out at Nate for this, because losing a child is traumatic & it would only be made worse to find out that Nate allowed it to happen. This kind of Trauma could cause a relapse into how she felt from her abuse and while we know she will eventually recover from it, due to the vision drawn from Astrid, this is where you could explain better how that kind of trauma is/was overcome.
Having reread chapter 2 a few times after this came up, I feel more and more confident there is hardly anything there I would change. What can I say? I can be an insecure ass mofo about my own writing at times. 😅 My fear was basically that people wouldn't understand the depths of what went on there and drop the story at that point before coming to the later clarifications, but tbh, I don't think it matters. I also love that your solution is basically plan A for me, as having this come up after losing the child was always my plan. The princess' brilliance in orchestrating the relationship between Nate and Cameron, I hope, is also going to become clearer, as Nate's attempts to help Cameron deal with her trauma using his own hypnosis skill will be middling at best. I shouldn't say too much more as while it will come up in the final chapter which I'm writing right now, it won't be explored properly until the second arc begins. As always though, I really enjoy hearing your thoughts. 😊 Kousaka~
My 2 cents: The best way to fix this would be to go back and add some more context to those scenes to make them slightly more fleshed out. Either by making them slightly more unsettling (I know the whole "psychopath" thing might make it difficult to write in those feelings, but maybe you can have Nate commenting on how weird it seems to be based on what he's analyzed about Cameron's behavior so far?) or by tuning up the references to powers (Nate feeling like it wasn't fully his decision to do that) Alternatively, without doing any rewrites, I think you can lean into the suspension of disbelief and shift all that onto the hypnosis. What I mean is that you can really dial up how much the hypnosis has been impacting all the character interactions up to this point. Maybe have the hypnosis start to weaken while the princess is unconscious and not maintaining it and force the characters to deal with that conflict. Maybe the characters less comfortable with Nate like Jeannie have a much more adverse reaction to realizing how unnatural their behavior has been towards him. It gives you a good way to differentiate how each of the girls feels about him and strengthen their differences as characters by seeing how they react to this conflict between how they acted and how they now feel. I'd be particularly interested in how Casey and Cameron's characters would handle suddenly having all artificial feelings removed. On a related note, my only complaint in the last few chapters has been the lack of conflict around Nate jumping from girl to girl. Not saying that it should stop (because it shouldn't) but in real life this would be a conflicting thing for everyone. The polygamy being second nature for Nate can be explained by his psychopathy but he's never forced to address this so it comes off a little flat. It could be addressed by a conversation where one of the girls questions how they can trust any of his emotions are real when he acts the exact same way towards all of them.
I think chapter 2 needs a much bigger rewrite than I’m willing to commit to right now. Lol. I think I might take a crack at it after the first arc is done, but rewrites are harder than people think. Even changing a single line of conversation can make an entire scene feel off, and there are some things that can’t be changed. Like Nate cannot figure out that hypnosis was used back in chapter 2, because the first time he notices it is when he was in the bath with Casey, and that would be a significant change that would affect a lot more things later on. As for what happens if the hypnosis is removed; I don’t wanna say too much, but that’s already a planned event for a future chapter, so you’ll definitely get to see what it looks like. 😊 As for the harem thing, I’m not sure there’s a reason for conflict among the girls just yet. I mean, going through the list of girls individually, Cameron had an understanding with Nate from the beginning. Casey is jealous, but she can’t bring herself to express it because she’s still in major denial about having the feelings required for jealousy to exist. Francesca is becoming more of a warrior than a woman, and is finding that the excitement she feels from fighting at Nate’s side as his equal is greater than what she experiences from simply being in his bed. Molly doesn’t have feelings for Nate, she just likes sex and doesn’t care about attachment. Evie is starting to like Nate, but she’s happy to sit in the background and watch the other relationships play out while she assesses what place, if any, might be there for her at his side, and Bianca doesn’t care about having to compete for Nate, as all that matters to her is winning in the end. Then, Leanna isn’t self-aware enough to even realize that Nate has even slept with anyone else, and Jeannie isn’t developing feelings for Nate at all. I think conflict will come as Nate makes more decisions about who he wants to keep in more permanent positions by his side, like Casey, who he already favors, and Cameron, who is carrying his child. In the last chapter, there was that moment when Bianca realizes that for the first time, and there is bound to be more of a kickback when the others find out as well.
First of all, you‘re an amazing writer. I can‘t wait for the next chapter of Banished. I think the hypnosis was the best way to avoid conflicts later on. I don‘t think it was the wrong choice. Keep doing, what you‘re doing and I’m sure there will be more to appreciate the content, that you create.