You're staring down the barrel of some oiled up girlfriend selfies. She's horny, she's ready to go and she's going to let you know. With the selfies, that was the whole thing. It's the selfies that inform you that she's horny. So come on over to what can only be described as a bored girlfriend turning a lazy afternoon into a slip and slide!

Sploosh alert! I repeat, sploosh alerts! The sploosh factors have gone off the scale and there's no real way to measure what's going on. There's also no conceivable way to deal with the catastrophic aftermath. Lies are going to be lost, family is going to be torn apart and within the wreckage, you will see one person standing at the epicenter. It will be you're super horny slicked up girlfriend. She covered herself in oil, flexed up a storm and of course, as always, caused a magnitude 8.7 earthquake. Those texts that she sent you seemed fun on the surface, and super hot. However, it's safe to say that it was not worth it. What do you hold in your hand is the evidence of catastrophe, the remnants of a good intention turned very wrong! Come stare upon the evidence of such loss. Gaze upon the allocation of suffering! That's right, what you were looking at is girlfriend selfies with body oil and rippling muscles. But for many, it is a loss of everything they've ever known. They will wander the planet, dazed, confused, not knowing where they are or what they are anymore. Every single day will be symbolic of their survival but only serve as a unending reminder of the pain that they had to go through. Were those selfies worth it? Were they hot enough to justify such catastrophes? Yes, they were! Look how busing my butt is! This took a lot of work! Sure, maybe downtown Pittsburgh is gone but it's all right!