And we have come to the last part of my drama story.
To sum up all the points of my nervous breakdown is
- Problems with work, documents and salary.
- Exploding brain from a large number of studiesto bring out my reach and platforms to attract the target audience. The opposite result of all my efforts. Lack of sales of my paintings.
- Blocking my instagram (the main source of my life, damn it)
And the icing on the cake for my anxiety is the news that my best friend is expecting a baby.
While I am torn in the anguish and suffering of my worthless life. While I'm catching depressive thoughts and vibrations, my best friend is in the same state just for a different reason.
She did not want it, it happened as it usually happens - RANDOMLY!
I have almost no friends, and my only friend with whom I shared my carefree time, my travels, smoking marijuana, etc., is faced with a choice. And I needed to pull myself together and support her.
This suggests that in the near future you need to radically change your lifestyle, forget about travel for a while, quit smoking, and reconsider many things in life. My friend also has enough problems, and this news, like a crushing blow right to the heart, split our lives.
I remember my hands were shaking just thinking about it. I heard her voice on the other end of the phone and couldn't help her. I can’t imagine what I would do if I were in such a situation, because for me now a сhild is a complexity of the highest scale. For her too. I will not describe you her whole life situation, just take my word for it. This news for us is a complete ass!
And here I am sitting in the middle of this collapsing shit called my life, and I don’t understand what to do. 🥲