Guys, thank you so much for your support and for your stories. Reading them, I suddenly realized humanity actually has one universal form of therapy: when life becomes unbearable, people do the same thing sell half their life, quit their job, and buy a one-way ticket. And strangely, the world doesn’t end afterward. Sometimes it finally begins.

I still can’t believe I did this. It’s only now hitting me that I no longer have my camera. I have no idea how I’ll make content and work, maybe I’ll return to the ancient method remembering everything with my eyes and retelling it like a chronicler. 🫠
But apparently that impulse was the only right decision in that moment. Sometimes you don’t choose a path
the path chooses the moment when you’re too tired to keep holding onto the roadside.

2025 was extremely hard for me. You know what I had to go through. It wasn’t just a difficult period, it was a full emotional storm. My mental health соllapsed - antidерressants, sеdаtives, psyсhiаtrist visits, an alсоhol bingе, different substаnces. I lost my accounts, my job, my income, got into debt and almost lost my mind. Maybe that’s exactly what triggered this decision. When you hold on for too long, your body eventually says, “I’m done,” and рrеsses the emergency exit without consulting your brain.

I still don’t fully understand why I did it. 🥲
Where will I live? What will I do? What will I eat? How will I exist? Right now it feels less like a plan and more like a personal experiment. Once before I packed my things and fled my country for роlitical reasons, but anyway …
I lived in my car and worked delivery.

• By the way, I closed my delivery account. I can’t handle it mentally anymore. Maybe I’ll try again in summer on a bicycle, because delivering by car in Warsaw is a philosophical practice… you spend an hour in traffic contemplating the meaning of life and earn nothing. Fuckin traffic…

Looking back, it feels like I’ve already lived several lives. As if life kept forging me until I became stainless steel. I strangely feel like there’s almost nothing left to fear. I’ll share with you how to survive in Bali with 300 dollars, depression, and a very honest confusion about who I even am. Maybe I won’t have a normal job, family, or stability. Maybe my parents will never see grandchildren. Maybe I’ll end up poor and slightly insane, talking to the ocean and cats 😁 Or maybe I’ll join a monastery, take a vow of silence, and for the first time in my life stop replying to messages.

You also asked about my “оvеrdоsе”, I will write about it in the next post. For now I just need to talk about Bali. I’m shocked, I’m scared, and every morning I wake up thinking:

“Valeria… wtf? what exactly have we done?” 🥹