Chadbacca

A quick caressing tour of my upper body, to show you what I basically do to myself all day long when no one is looking. Now you’ve seen and now you know, and if you ever tell anyone, you’ll be sleeping with the dishes. Yes, dishes. I’ll put you in the dish cupboard. OF DEATH.

Only thing better than wearing a scuba wetsuit to work is taking it off afterward 😎 Is it “afterward” or “afterwardS”? Either way or neither way, here is me. Taking off a wetsuit. There are more pics in this series but they’re on the VIP page. So here’s these, now.

Night workout in the park

Quick clip of some pushups in the park. This occurred on Sunday, which I can verify because this video clearly shows me sporting my Sunday Funday tank top that I got at a pool crawl in Nicaragua. You’re not allowed to wear clothing that says “Sunday” on it unless it is, in fact and in truth, a Sunda

Summers are sweltering in the south, but my natural fur coat keeps me nice and close to death. Should I keep it anyway, despite the heat that rages and ravages? It does happen to be exactly my size..

Productivity is a critical component in a self-actualized life, and an important part of productivity is efficient multi-tasking. Therefore, it is unproductive to NOT have a shower beer. This message brought to you by me drinking a shower beer.

Sample clips of a video from the time I was feeling the way that I was feeling myself. That time was yesterday, and that video is in its full two minute glory (is glory the right word?) on my VIP page. But otherwise, this sample is nice, I hope. Observe and enjoy, in that order, amen

Lifting heavy stuff while naked is just one of things I bring to the table. As soon as I figure out what the other things are, you’ll be the first to know. I mean, I’ll technically be the first to know, as I am the one to have figured it out, but you’ll be next. Pinky swearsies.

Question: what do we think of neck stubble? We all love a good, well-maintained beard— this is holy writ— but when the neck stubble is running a little wild, is that rakish and sexy, or disheveled and unkempt?

Finished product, in stores now, while supplies last!

Half and half for comparison! CHOOSE YOUR PREFERENCE— would you choose beard, stubble, or are you crazy like me and kinda want both at the same time?

The beard-tastic “before” pic 😎

I’m brushing up on looking down, I’m working on my roar

Just a tease, because I’m teasy like Sunday morning

This just in: my beard. My beard is in. Should I let it keep going, or chop it down?

Just a couple of cheeky pull-ups in the park 💪

Those pesky hearts, always getting in the way! Wanna see behind it? There’s a VIP page for that now!

Hand exploring the chest and then heading south to cause trouble 😎 If you want to see where it goes (and exactly what it gets up to), I just uploaded the full video on my VIP page. And let me tell you, it’s not only rom-coms that have happy endings 😉

Your coconuts make me go nuts, as they say in Puerto Rico. I assume that’s what they’re saying, anyway; I don’t speak Spanish.

Shorn and shredded in 2022, doing pull-ups in the past for you to presently view 😎

Shower selfies are the currency of a generation. I don’t even know who I am without them. I mean, I know who I am, but life is a little more drab without showfies. I am coining the word, let’s spread it like fire.

Hirsute and humbled by the storm. Or something. Definitely the hirsuite part. And the storm is real. But being humble sounds overrated. Pass.

This is my thinking pose, reserved for the thinking and thunking of profound thoughts only. Thoughts like, “don’t only boomers say words like thunking?” And, “wait, are millennials wresting the word thunking into the mainstream?” And, maybe, “who’d have thunk that possible oh god now I’m saying it.”

Pro tip: if you go to Mexico and tattoo that it is your birthday on your ass cheek, it is legally your birthday every single day that your ass sees the light of day. For me, that is most days. Happy birthday, Chad!

Armpit hair… do you like it trimmed, or prefer it wild? Is it better tamed or untamed? Inquiring minds (namely mine) want to know.

Backs don’t get enough appreciation, and neither do the tops of butts. Backs and butt-tops are the posts of the future and we all need to just get on board. Are you on board?

Even guys with excessively neat swim trunks get lost once in awhile. Wasn’t there supposed to be a nude beach around here somewhere?

Merry so and so and happy et cetera, friends! If you wished for a bunch of new upcoming content then you’re in luck because it exists and it is, in fact, upcoming. Possible collab with Santa Claus coming soon as well, but he hasn’t gotten back to me on that yet. Happy unwrapping, wink wink

It’s wintery times again— even though I’m in Puerto Rico right now so it doesn’t feel like it— and that means it’s time to consider growing out the winter coat! To grow, or not to grow?

Any hot tub can be a Hot Tub Time Machine if we concede that time moving forward at its standard linear pace is a form of time travel. I have no choice but to assume you have no objections to this and therefore here is my very own Hot Tub Time Machine!

Posing and flexing and the such. The fence is very intimidated.

Milkman outfit. But sexy. Eating whipped cream. But in a sexy way. There’s something here, an innuendo of some kind. A sexual one. It’s on the tip of my tongue. Sexually.

Little behind-the-scenes pic of me from a recent shoot, because side-butt deserves some attention too. I’m coming out as a side-butt enthusiast and I don’t care who knows it

Tell me a good dad joke and I’ll laugh in whatever way makes my abs do this. I do 3 sets of 15 laugh-reps a day to stay tight. Talk to your laughter coach today to learn more.

Whipped cream play continues with @vonnuit33.. who wants to play next?

Strip down to your skivvies and pop on a bow tie, it is the height of fancy-ness and decorum. Swear to Zeus. People will be so impressed by how impressive you are that they will literally look at you disapprovingly. Out of jealousy.

Whipped cream play with the incomparably sexy @vonnuit33

Alright alright, just ONE more bathroom selfie. Just the one. I already took the picture. I’m already posting it. It’s just the one. And you will like it or I will post MORE bathroom selfies. This is now a reverse hostage situation. But with selfies.

“I wish that I could be a sucker for love, the way I’m a sucker for lying; but I like getting lost, it’s easier than finding my way”

Nudes coming soon, but not today. Today I am coy. Observe the coyness.

Because of this picture I now know that my “lifting heavy things” face and my “I could not be more dead inside” face are one and the same. I will process this information and get back to you all, please stand by 🙏

And now the front side! Look at me, having a face and all. Unheard of.

My photographer / manager / life coach was worried that everyone would notice the cables and enormous package of toilet paper in the background so please nobody notice these things thanks

Get closer, I don’t mind :)

Save a cowboy, ride that cowboy 😉

I love you and you love my ass so we’re good here

I love you

Is that a tattoo on my ass or am I just happy to see you??

Been working on these shoulders, I hear they’re good for resting on 😴

I’M ALREADY PULLED OVER, I CAN’T PULL OVER ANY FARTHER