I guess this is like a continuation of my last post about WIPs, I am so bad at finishing things. A good example from right now is the latest Ironcock story illustration. I drew it after quite a break from drawing, I was feeling a bit rusty but I threw it together and I felt like it was okay… just not, you know, I felt like I could do better. I posted it but it felt WRONG, I don’t feel pleased with it.

So now, despite having other things I know I should be doing that are important, I’m re-rendering something that should be done. It is done. I posted it! Why am I still working on it?

And working on it is only making me feel worse because it IS a lot better than the first render. I’ve only really done the girls body and even I, in all my self loathing, can clearly see that the first one basically looks like a draft in comparison. “I should have put more effort in the first time”, I tell myself, that would have saved me this feeling of failure and un-satisfaction. Then I’m also like, does anyone care? Would any-one of been more enamoured with the story if the accompanying picture had been of a higher quality? I would I suppose, which is probably all that matters really….

But then I remember that it’s quite likely that even after finishing this second render there is no guarantee that I wouldn’t be compelled to do a third, EVEN BETTER one and so I guess I just need to accept that to improve is to suffer the shame of your previous creations existence and move on. I guess where I’ve made all these things so slowly,  theirs quite a noticeable variation in quality throughout. Maybe when it’s done I will re-do all the art work to make it more consistent and it can be like, a PROPER THING.

Anyway, I am going to stop redoing this now. Wow, you’re such a great listener! I feel so much better now I talked about it, Thank-you, I love you