Outer Masks - Chapter 20: Rory Hayden And the No Good, Very Bad Day

Two Days Later

Rory wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and pretend that the world, and everyone in it, would forget that she existed.

Unfortunately, the world had never been particularly good at granting her wishes. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand for the fourth time in ten minutes, and Rory stared at the ceiling, jaw clenched, as she let it ring.

Eventually, the buzzing stopped, only to be replaced seconds later by the repeating sharp chiming of a text notification.

She exhaled slowly through her nose, rolling onto her side. Rory finally reached for her phone, squinting at the screen through the dim morning light filtering in through her curtains.

Jackass: C’mon, RoRo. Can we just talk???

Jackass: You can’t just run off and ghost me like this

Jackass: Rory! Answer me before I break into your penthouse again 😠

Her thumb hovered over the keyboard, a few minutes passing as she tried to figure out what to type.

Queen Buzzkill: I’m fine, Max

Before she could put her phone down, it started vibrating as someone was now calling her.

Rory swallowed hard as she stared at Peach’s name, and at the stupid little photo Rory had taken of her months ago, of Peach sitting on her couch, half-smiling, half-scowling because she had caught Rory taking it without permission.

Rory did not pick up, and when the screen turned off, she let her phone fall onto the mattress, covering her face with both hands.

God, I'm so tired. Rory thought, rolling onto her side, curling in on herself, and staring blankly at the far wall. The penthouse was too quiet, the kind of silence that pressed in on her ears until her thoughts grew loud and mean.

You’re being pathetic.

Get up.

You’re making this worse.

Rory squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could turn her brain off.

A few minutes later, Rory quickly sat up when she could hear the sound of her front door being opened. She immediately jumped out of bed, slowly making her way to the door, listening intently as she had not been expecting anyone.

“Rory? Rory, are you here?” The woman relaxed when she recognized her brother’s voice, an annoyed sigh escaping her lips as she left her bedroom.

When she made her way downstairs, Joe was standing in the middle of her living room. He had his hands in his jacket pockets. He looked up when he heard her footsteps, a small, relieved smile forming on his face.

“There you are,” Joe said softly. “You weren’t answering your phone. I was starting to worry.”

“How did you get in here?” Rory asked flatly.

Joe raised an eyebrow. “You gave me an emergency key and the code after Max destroyed your door when he threw his party here, remember?”

“Right.” Rory blinked, making her way to the couch. “Shouldn’t you be all loved up with Karen right now? I’m surprised you were able to pull yourself away from her.”

Especially long enough to notice that we haven’t seen each other in a while.

Joe frowned, taken aback by his sister’s tone and the way she was now carrying herself. “Karen and I aren’t that bad.”

Rory snorted softly, dropping onto the couch and pulling her knees up toward her chest. “Sure, you're not.”

Joe sighed, walking to the couch and sitting down. “Look, can you tell me what’s wrong, so I can help? I tried asking Max, but he refused to tell me anything.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll stay here until you do.”

The woman clicked her teeth and narrowed her eyes. “Would you even leave if I did tell you?”

The smile that formed on Joe’s face only served to irritate Rory further, but she only rolled her eyes, sinking deeper into the cushion.

“Do you remember when you first found me and we talked about what our lives were like while we were separated?” Rory quietly asked.

Joe could remember that day like it was yesterday; it had been an extremely hot day in July when years of searching had finally led him to the doorstep of the Haydens’ mansion in the Hamptons.

Rory had been the one to answer the door that day, and it had been uncanny for Joe, seeing the four-year-old girl whom he remembered his sister being with the seventeen-year-old who had answered the door.

Of course, Rory’s adopted parents were quick to have him removed from their property once they realized who he was. Although it did nothing to stop the siblings from meeting up with each other a few days later, with Rory having snuck out after messaging him online.

Joe nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

Rory fidgeted. “And do you remember when I told you about me having to transfer schools when I was in high school?”

Joe nodded slowly. “Yeah. You said it was… complicated.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Rory huffed out a weak, humorless laugh. “I told you the watered-down version.”

Joe shifted slightly on the couch, angling his body toward her, careful not to crowd her. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

Rory glanced at him. “I ran into someone from that school a few nights ago,” she said quietly. “Her name’s Hailey.”

Joe felt something cold settle in his chest, instantly committing the name to memory.

Rory told him the truth, leaving nothing out before telling him about the two run-ins that she recently had with Hailey.

Hailey Andrews, huh? So that’s who hurt you. Joe thought, keeping his expression carefully neutral as Rory finished speaking, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly as she talked.

“I’m sorry,” He said quietly. “No one should ever have to go through something like that. Especially not you.”

Rory shrugged, staring down at her hands. “It’s old shit. I thought I was past it, turns out I was wrong.”

Joe then reached out, resting his hand lightly over hers and gently squeezing it when Rory did not pull away. “What Hailey did to you says everything about her and nothing about you. She took advantage of your trust; you shouldn’t believe anything that comes out of her mouth.”

Rory let out a shaky breath. “I keep thinking I should be over it by now.”

“You don’t owe it to anyone to be ‘over it,’” Joe replied.

“Do you... do you think I’ll ever... that anyone will ever love me?”

“I love you,” Joe said strongly.

Rory rolled her eyes. “I mean romantically, Joey. It’s just... every woman I’ve ever dated, they either leave, or they hurt me, or they decide I’m something they can use for a while and then discard when it gets inconvenient.” Her fingers curled into the fabric of her sleeve. “And I know logically that doesn’t mean anything about me, but it feels like it does. Like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me, outside the obvious, that people can tolerate for a bit, but never actually want.”

Joe’s jaw tightened. “That’s not true, you’ve just been unlucky. You’ve been surrounded by selfish people who didn’t deserve you.”

Rory let out a short, humorless laugh. “Funny how consistent my bad luck is.”

“Rory, look at me.”

Rory hesitated before slowly turning her head to look at her older brother, seeing the soft and earnest expression on his face.

Joe’s thumb brushed lightly against Rory's knuckles. “You are kind, you’re loyal, you’re brilliant, and you care more deeply than most people are capable of. There's nothing wrong with you, kid, and you don’t have anything to prove to any of them.”

Rory’s eyes burned, and she hated that his words were working on her.

“And I think you should do your best to avoid being around or interacting with anyone who makes you feel like you do, or who are too cowardly to be honest about their feelings while also being a terrible match for you in general.”

Rory stared at her brother, deadpanned, knowing who he was referring to. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“I couldn’t,” Joe said. “But when you think about it, Peach isn’t all that different from Hailey or the others you’ve been interested in or dated. If you keep waiting for someone too afraid of themselves to be honest with you, you’re just going to keep getting hurt.”

Rory’s shoulders stiffened. “That’s not fair, Peach got outed, and she's just now starting to come to terms with that; she didn’t ask for any of this.”

Joe nodded slowly, like he was conceding a point. “You’re right. She didn’t.”

Rory relaxed a fraction at that, her fingers loosening in her sleeve.

“But,” Joe continued gently. “That doesn’t mean you have to be the one who bleeds for it.”

Rory frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re always the one making excuses for the people who hurt you,” Joe said carefully. “You give them time, space, understanding. You bend yourself into something smaller, so they don’t have to feel uncomfortable.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it?” Joe asked softly. “When that picture leaked, she ignored you for days. The second things got difficult, you were the one left alone, spiraling, while she got to decide when she was ready to face you.”

Rory opened her mouth, then closed it again, and Joe did not press, purposely allowing the silence to stretch.

Rory swallowed, staring at the floor, her voice wavering as she spoke. “I don’t need her to love me, I just… I don’t want to lose her.”

Joe’s expression softened. “I know, but-”

“Joe, please, I don’t want to talk about Peach, alright?” Rory asked tiredly, removing her hand from Joe’s.

Joe stared at his sister for a moment, sighing as he leaned back into the couch. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about Peach.”

Rory let out a breath she had not realized she had been holding, rubbing her face. “Thank you.”

Joe nodded once, standing up and straightening his jacket. “But you don’t have to carry all of this by yourself.”

Rory did not respond, staring at the coffee table; her shoulders slumped, and she felt drained.

“I’m not saying you need to cut anyone out of your life. I just… want you to be safe. You’ve already been hurt enough.”

Rory swallowed, nodding faintly. “I know.”

Joe moved toward the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “I’ll check in later, okay?”

“Okay,” Rory sighed as Joe let himself out the door, clicking shut behind him, and making the penthouse fall silent again.

Rory sat there for a long moment, staring at the spot where Joe had been sitting. His words echoed in her head, despite her best efforts to push them away.

~X~

Joe had to force himself not to smile as he stood across from his ex-girlfriend while having his arm wrapped around his current girlfriend.

He had not been expecting to run into Beck during his date with Karen, especially given both of their efforts to ignore each other and move on with their lives.

Now standing in the middle of Central Park, Beck was looking at Joe and Karen with the fakest smile on her face, the look in her eyes making her look as if she did not know whether to cry or scream.

“Wow, so you’re a nurse? That’s... so interesting, you must be busy all the time, I’m surprised you can even be out here. I mean, shouldn’t you be saving lives or something?” Beck said, her lips tightening at the edges as she smiled harder.

She’s jealous, she’s really jealous. Joe knew he should have said something in response to Beck’s weakly hidden insult, to defend his girlfriend’s honor, but he did not; instead, he silently watched transfixed.

Karen's own smile did not dim even in the face of Beck’s disrespect. “Well, it's a good thing that I’m not the only nurse in this city, otherwise we’d all be in trouble.”

Joe let out a small, approving chuckle, squeezing Karen’s arm just a little tighter.

Beck’s smile faltered for half a second before snapping back into place. “Right. Of course.” She glanced between them again, her gaze lingering just a beat too long on Joe’s hand resting so easily against Karen’s side. “You two seem… happy.”

“We are,” Joe said, meeting Beck’s eyes steadily. “It’s nice to be with someone whom I don’t have to worry about.”

“Oh, really?” Beck asked sharply. “Is that how you feel? So, you haven’t become the jealous boyfriend from hell yet?”

Joe stared at Beck blankly. “Why would I? I trust Karen implicitly; she wouldn’t hurt me.”

Joe’s words landed like a slap; anger, embarrassment, and heartbreak swirled within her at the implication.

Beck nodded quickly, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. “That’s great. Really. I’m glad.” Her voice wavered despite her best efforts, and she looked away, brushing imaginary lint from her sleeve. “I should-uh-I should get going.”

“So, ‘jealous boyfriend from hell’, huh?” Karen asked after a few moments, her tone light but curious as she looked up at Joe.

Joe huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head. “I guess I earned that nickname.”

Karen raised an eyebrow. “Did you?”

Joe shrugged. “Beck had been cheating on me, for a while, with about a quarter of New York, after I told her that I loved her for the first time.”

Karen’s eyes widened, not having expected her boyfriend to say that.

“Yeah, as you can probably guess, I tried to get Beck to be honest with me, but she kept lying to my face so-”

“So, you what? Stole her phone, went through it, and when you found what you were looking for, you stalked her?” Karen asked. “She's the everythingship girl, isn't she?”

“She ex-everything.” Joe sighed as his expression softened. “I cared too much about someone who didn’t know what she wanted, but it's different with you.”

Karen studied his face for a second, searching for something, then smiled. “Different how?”

“I don’t have to second-guess everything; I don’t have to wonder who you’re texting or what you’re hiding. You’re honest, stable.” Joe’s thumb brushed reassuring circles against her arm. “It’s… peaceful.”

Karen’s shoulders relaxed at that, the tension draining from her posture. “Well, good. I don’t really do drama.”

Joe smiled. “That’s one of the things I like about you.”

Further down the path, Beck paused, glancing back just once. The sight of Joe leaning in close to another woman, smiling like he had already moved on, made her chest twist painfully. She turned away quickly, disappearing into the crowd.

Joe watched her go, his smile lingering a beat too long before he turned his full attention back to Karen.

“Ready to head out?” He asked, as if Beck had not existed at all.

Karen nodded, slipping her arm more firmly around his waist as they started walking again. “Yeah. I don’t really want to run into any more of your exes today.”

“That’s fair.” Joe agreed.

They walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the sounds of the park filling the space between them. Joe felt Karen relax against him, her steps matching his own without much effort.

Karen glanced at him thoughtfully. “You know, I really appreciate you being honest with me about Beck. A lot of guys would’ve downplayed it or just outright lied.”

Joe smiled down at her, warm and reassuring. “I don’t want anything between us that could cause problems later.”

Karen squeezed his hand. “Good.”

~X~

A Week Later

Rory reluctantly walked down the stairs, staring at Max and feeling thoroughly annoyed by his presence and his insistence on getting her out of her home.

“Don’t look at me like that, you can’t avoid going to Ethan and Blythe’s housewarming party without looking like an asshole,” Max said as he got glared at.

“I wouldn’t be at risk of looking like an asshole if you didn’t tell them I would be coming,” Rory muttered.

Max rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, just hurry up so we can leave already.”

Rory had only been able to avoid Max for a few more days after her talk with Joe before he had forcefully made his way into her penthouse. And in the days since, Max still could not get Rory to talk about what had happened at the arcade.

Rory stopped by the front door, putting on her shoes before opening the door, and was surprised when she saw her parents standing on the other side.

“Mom, dad? What are you guys doing here?” Rory asked, her brow furrowing.

Amber smiled, but it did not quite reach her eyes. “We need to talk.”

Walter’s gaze slid past Rory and landed on Max, his mouth tightening. “In private.”

Max frowned. “Wait, what are-”

“Max,” Rory did not turn around to look at him, keeping her gaze on her parents. “Just go, I’ll meet you there.”

Max hesitated. “Rory-”

“Max,” Rory said again, sharper this time. “Please.”

He clenched his jaw, looking between Rory and her parents. “Text me when you’re done,” he said finally. “I mean it.”

“I will,” Rory replied, though her voice lacked conviction.

Max shot Amber and Walter a look before turning and heading down the hallway, the elevator doors swiftly closing behind him.

Rory stepped aside, allowing her parents inside, watching as they sat down on her couch. Amber and Walter stared at her, and eventually Rory made her way over and sat down on the other end of the couch.

Rory glanced between them, unease curling in her chest. “Okay, so what is this about?”

Walter did not waste time. “We found out who leaked that photo of you and Peach.”

Rory leaned forward, her eyes widening. “You did? Who?”

Walter exhaled slowly, folding his hands together. “Joseph Goldberg.”

For a moment, Rory just stared at them blankly, and then she laughed. “C'mon, be serious. Who leaked the picture?”

Amber’s expression did not change. “We aren’t joking.”

“No,” Rory said, shaking her head, her voice rising despite herself. “That doesn’t make any sense. Joe wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do that. Why would he?”

Walter placed a thick folder on the coffee table, and Rory wondered how she was only just now noticing that he had been carrying it.

“If you don't believe us, then just look at everything that our private investigator found,” Walter said.

“Private investigator?” Rory asked, glaring at her father. “I thought I told you that I didn’t-”

“Rory, darling, please,” Amber placed her hand on Rory’s knee, squeezing once. “We wouldn’t be sitting here if we weren’t sure.”

Amber’s hand stayed where it was as Rory stared down at the folder.

She did not want to open the folder, did not want to come face to face with the possibility that one of the few people who she believed truly understood her would do something like this.

Amber’s hand tightened gently on her knee, grounding her. “Just look.”

Rory’s fingers trembled as she reached for the folder; the thick cardstock was heavy in her grasp. Her stomach dropped when she opened it, and the first thing she saw was an anonymous submission to the gossip site that had first published the story.

As she flipped through, she saw a receipt for a prepaid phone, images from surveillance cameras of Joe entering the store where it was purchased. And finally, a series of surveillance images of Joe entering 30 Hudson Yards and the building's security room.

“That building is near the Chelsea Arts Tower,” Amber said softly. “And the day that Joe went there was the day before the footage of you and Peach was stolen and leaked.”

“This doesn’t-” Rory swallowed hard. “This could all still be circumstantial.”

Walter’s voice cut in, firm but not unkind. “The account that leaked the photo was traced back to a device registered under his name. Same IP as the phone Joe was caught buying.”

Rory turned back toward them. “You’re saying he broke into a security room, stole footage, and leaked it online just to what? Hurt Peach? I know the two of them don’t get along, but Joe wouldn’t... he knows better.”

It had taken Rory some time before she came to terms with her sexuality, not wanting to have another thing about her that would be considered abnormal, even when she first started dating Hailey, the fear of being seen as different had never fully left her.

Coming out to Joe after they had been reunited with each other had been nerve-racking, even with the knowledge that Joe had known she was intersex since the day she was born and had never treated her differently; she was still afraid to tell him that she was a lesbian.

“He wanted to isolate you,” Walter said bluntly. “To keep you from getting closer to her.”

“That’s insane,” Rory whispered. “Joe wouldn’t... he wouldn’t do something like that to me.”

He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t try to ruin someone’s life just to... just to keep me... Rory looked back down at the evidence her parents had gathered, her hands curling into fists.

Amber watched her carefully. “Rory?”

“Does... does Peach know?”

Amber and Walter glanced at each other, neither of them speaking right away.

Eventually, Amber shook her head slowly. “No. Not yet.”

Rory let out a shaky breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Good, she shouldn’t hear it from anyone else.”

Walter frowned. “Rory-”

“I need a minute,” Rory said, her voice steadier than she felt as she closed the folder and pushed it back onto the table; her hands were now shaking. “I just… need to think.”

Amber reached for her again, but Rory stood before she could be touched.

Rory turned away, retreating toward the window. Below, the city moved on as if nothing had happened, as if her world had not just tilted sideways, but she was the only one who felt the ground give way beneath her feet.

Rory pressed her forehead to the glass; her reflection was faint against the city's lights.

I want you to be safe. Joe’s voice echoed in her head, and the thought made her chest ache.

“Rory, we also want to talk to you about something else that we suspect about Joe,” Walter said, lifting the folder off the coffee table and pulling out several other documents.

Rory slowly turned around. All she could do was question how much she truly knew about her brother, and just what else her parents were going to tell her.

~X~

As she leaned against the wall of Ethan and Blythe's new apartment, Beck knew that she should not be staring at Joe and Karen.

As the party was going on around her, all she could think about was the discussion she had with Dr. Nicky about her ex and his new girlfriend during their session earlier in the day.

She could finally articulate why she did not like Karen and knew that it was not jealousy, like Nicky or anyone else would assume, but because she was certain that Karen was not fit for Joe.

Beck took a slow sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving the couple. Karen laughed at something Joe said, touching his arm like she had earned the right to, and Beck watched as Joe leaned closer to Karen, his smile effortless.

For a brief, uncomfortable moment, she wondered if the version of Joe that she had dated ever really existed at all, making her chest tighten.

“Beck!” Blythe called out, happily sauntering over to her friend. “I’ve been looking all over for you. We're discussing Independent People in the sitting room, and I want to hear your thoughts.”

The last thing Beck wanted to do was mingle with people she barely knew, but she forced herself not to speak her true feelings out loud. “Independent People? What’s that?”

“You haven’t heard of Independent People? By the Halldór Laxness? Oh, Beck, I still have much to teach you.”

Blythe grabbed the other woman by the arm and began dragging her towards her sitting room.

Why is she laughing so hard? I know Joe isn’t that funny. Beck thought as she caught one last glance at Karen and Joe.

For the next hour, Beck felt like she was going through the motions, unable to muster much interest in everything going on around her. As much as she tried, her thoughts continued to stray towards Joe.

Eventually, Beck halfheartedly made the excuse of having to use the bathroom in order to leave the gaudily designed room.

As she walked through the apartment, she caught glimpses of her friends, but compared to them, she felt as if, for most of the evening, that she was slightly out of step with everyone else.

When she reached the bathroom and placed her hand on the doorknob, the door suddenly swung open, jerking Beck forward, and she found herself crashing into someone’s chest.

“Beck?” Joe asked as he looked down and saw the woman, and reflexively wrapped his arms around her when she bumped into him.

“Hey,” Beck said breathlessly, staring at him, surprised and gently squeezing his forearms, her body reacting before her mind could catch up.

Joe released her slowly, only then realizing how close they were. His hands lingered for just a second longer than necessary before dropping back to his sides.

“Sorry,” He said easily. “Didn’t mean to knock you over.”

“It’s fine,” Beck replied quickly, stepping back, forcing a smile that did not quite reach her eyes. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Joe studied her for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I... I haven’t seen you since the other day. How have you been?” Beck asked.

How have you been? Ugh, what is wrong with me?!

“I’ve been doing well,” Joe said.

The two fell into an awkward silence, neither knowing what else to say, the air between them suddenly too tight, too heavy with things that had never been resolved.

“This is dumb,” Beck awkwardly chuckled, rubbing her arm. “We are two grown and mature individuals; things shouldn’t be this weird between us.”

Joe smiled faintly, soft in that familiar way that once made her feel safe. “You're right.”

Beck’s smile grew, and for a moment, she let herself pretend that nothing between them had ever really ended.

“See?” Joe said lightly. “Not weird.”

Beck laughed softly, nodding. “Yeah. Not weird.”

The hallway felt too narrow, the air too warm, and Beck became acutely aware of how close he was standing to her, close enough that she could smell his cologne and aftershave, familiar and comforting in a way that made her chest ache.

“About the other day, I should apologize,” Joe said softly. “I know seeing me with Karen probably wasn’t easy.”

Beck blinked, caught off guard. “It’s fine,” she said quickly. “You don’t owe me anything.”

Joe tilted his head slightly, studying her. “I do, I didn’t handle running into you very well, and I said things, or implied things that I shouldn’t have, especially because it was my fault that our relationship went to shit. I just… don’t want you to think that I didn’t care.”

“I never thought that,” Beck said, lying through her teeth.

Joe’s expression eased. “Good.”

“I should… I should apologize too. I didn’t handle things very well either.” Beck said, rubbing her arm again nervously. “And I… I want us to be friends again!”

Friends? No, I know that’s not what you truly want, Beck. You can try and lie to yourself, but I know you, I know everything there is to know about you. You’re flawed, who isn’t these days? And you run away from love because of what your father, Benji, and every other man in your life has done to you, and that’s why you sabotaged our relationship. But you know deep down inside yourself that I'm never going to do that, that I'm the one for you. Joe thought, knowing that eventually Beck would see things his way again.

Joe smiled. “Friends sounds good.”

Beck exhaled, relief washing over her face. “Yeah. Friends.”

Somewhere down the hall, Karen laughed, her voice carrying faintly.

Beck stepped back abruptly, the spell breaking. “I should-uh-I should get back.”

“Did you not have to use the bathroom?” Joe asked, pointing behind him to the room he was still standing in.

Beck chuckled. “Yeah, that's right, yeah. I should…”

Joe stepped out of the doorway and off to the side, allowing Beck to enter the bathroom.

“Thanks, babe,” Beck said playfully to Joe before closing the door behind her.

Joe's smile grew after hearing Beck call him ‘babe', the word warmly and possessively settling into his chest.

He adjusted his jacket, his expression smoothing back into something pleasant and unremarkable.

Everything is finally falling back into place. Joe thought as he made his way back to his girlfriend’s side.

“Hey, baby, you’re back. You took a while,” Karen said as she kissed her boyfriend’s cheek.

Joe wrapped his arm around Karen's shoulder, pretending that he was not feeling invigorated by his brief interaction with Guinevere Beck. “Sorry, there was a line, so I got held up.”

Karen smiled, satisfied, leaning into his side and kissing his cheek again before she was already distracted by another person pulling her back into their conversation.

Joe smiled again, the picture of the perfect boyfriend and a man with nothing to hide, as a sense of calm settled over him again.

And for the first time in weeks, he felt like he had been made whole, as the dark cloud that had been hanging over him had vanished. Now all he could think about was when next he would see Beck, when he would hear her sweet voice, when he would be able to touch her again, knowing that he would not be foolish enough to let her escape from him again.