Making Plans
poop joeks
Comments (157)
Coffee of Doom franchise!
As soon as Marten went looking for a coffee shop I was hoping the possibility existed for a Coffee of Doom franchise location. Still may not happen, but my hopes are still high.
Re-reading this and the previous page, it seems like both Claire and Marten are about to embark on ventures that they're under-qualified for (though Claire is probably more qualified than she thinks, but I think it's a valid assessment considering there's going to be a lot of management skills needed and other things that definitely weren't covered in Librarian School). Hopefully they both find their feet! Also, there's some kind of irony in there considering that most employees in Cubetown are probably ONLY about the qualifications (as in, they have all the degrees and Expertise to their name but nothing else).
Coffeehouse of Doom - Canadian Location
Faye will have to build him a dinosaur that poops espresso to really give him the edge on Tims
Upvoted, if only for the barbs which will appear from people who have seen "Tim Horton's" and "poop" in the same sentence.
Coffee of Doom II - the franchise
Coffee of Doom II - Eccentric Bugaboo
These two just make me sooo happy 😊
is this the start of the cast moving to Cubetown? Dora moves in to corner the coffee market (and makes a mint from easily duped scientists) Faye and Bubbles move in to increase their robot repair business etc. ~<3
I hope not. I was a big Dawson's Creek fan as a teen, and I remember the tension and sadness as everyone got ready to go off to university and split up. Aaaaand then, new season, few episodes in, everyone has switched university to the same town and the entire fucking cast, grandparents and all, has just moved to a new city. Hopefully Jeph is a better storyteller than that. Also Comic is a better medium for multiple locations.
... and there is always Tea. I recall a strong response AI's have to certain teas.
Wait just a blinkin' minute, here! How many potential customers are aboard Cubetown? Are the inhabitants largely meat-people or robots? And can slime-girls drink coffee? (We think not.) Anyway, I'm not OK with all this unless we get lots of visiting between the alt-Noho people and the Cubitzns, (Especially if we can get Ms. Lelelalalalulu and Pizza Girl now and then -- take that, mighty Director!)
Coffee of Doom has many AI customers, so that wouldn't matter. As for Moray, she might be able to consume like either humans OR like typical AIs. Maybe she can enjoy it both ways, leading to a serious coffee habit and a highly caffeinated Goo-gal.
A bunch of scientists stranded in the ocean without coffee? No wonder cubetown is such a mess.
I CALLED IT!
I can see this working, especially if Marten recruits talented people and is willing to learn from them... and learns when and how to delegate. Although after the last strip, I was thinking that he could go back to school and get a counseling degree...
frame 4 ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️
My coffee shop name idea has to be “Martin’s Incredibly Chill/Calm Relaxation Operation Brews.” Otherwise known as M.I.C.R.O.Brews.
Though I now realized it could have been Marten’s Indie Coffee Relaxation Organization and fit.
So Marten, who has no experience running a business, who has never even worked at a coffee shop, thinks he can start his own shop just like that?
More likely he thinks he has friends who can tell him what he's getting himself into, and what he needs to learn and prepare for.
Coffee of Doom FRANCHISING TIME!
As I sit here in Arizona, enjoying breakfast with a cup of Tim Hortons Special Dark, it all begins to fall into place. Dora will immediately seize on the idea of franchising 'Coffee if Doom'. Hannelore (or Marigold) will provide financial support, Mae will be CFO, Brun will be startup staff. Pizza delivery by reentry vehicle and giant catchers mit. It all just fits together. Everyone wins. Hmm, franchising, a city of robots. . .
I was really fond of the milkshakes I got from Timmy ho's in college (western ny)
Coffee of Doom franchise?
No, definitely offense to Tim Hortons. DunkyDunks is far superior - except maybe the sandwiches/soup at Timmy's - and that also doesn't count as a coffee shop!
"Robo-Brew: Fueling the minds of machines and men! A Coffee of Doom subsidiary"
Lot’s of quirky local coffee shops in Halifax. Marten will be fine. “Dilly Dally” for the win.
I just realized what an effect Claire's had on Marten, he's changed. He's taking a risk and going to do a thing rather than float along. Wow.
Marten's taken a risk for a lady friend before. You know, like even before the comic started?
OMG FRANCHISE COFFEE OF DOOM SO THEY ALL HAVE A REASON TO VISIT WHENEVER THE STORY NEEDS IT!!!
Ooo I like this idea... and in addition, maybe have a bakery addon for Elliott!
Marten starts his own coffee shop???? Did not see that one coming.
Wait, are Claire and Marten just trading their current jobs with massive promotions thrown in?
What a great idea ! He should also start M. and the AI heavy metal band ! (Nu Metal obviously)
When presented with a choice between a return trip on Ol' Boaty and making a new life in Cubetown, Marten made the obvious decision.
Well, they still will have to travel back, pack, and then permanently move to Cubetown. Plenty of chances for Ol’ Boaty to have his revenge.
Coffee Of Cube is going to fail, because they won't let Marten import all of the invasive species of spiders needed to get the roasting done right.
I'm sure they'll have their own. And that way fans of each shop can be snotty about how much better the taste is at *their* location.
Oh God it's happening... Coffee of Doom FRANCHISE
I need this!
TEH COFFEE
Yes! Staff uniform is TEH T-shirts.
So are Martin and Claire gonna be less prevalent in the comic going forward? Or is the whole gang gonna relocate to Cubetown? Or are Martin and Claire still gonna spend most of their time in Northampton because they're living in a post singularity world and Hanner's dad would probably invent a teleporter if it meant his daughter could keep one of her friends?
The comic could just show both locations and have the characters communicate digitally when necessary.
It was bothering me a little that Martin didn't answer Claire's question in the previous comic, and I love that the gently but firmly asked again and got an answer now.
You aren’t a citizen yet? They usually push you into it after 5 years
I think they looked at what he does for a living. "Oh, a comic, that's nice. Why aren't any of the characters Canadian, eh?" And so, as part of Jeph's citizenship process, we got Emmett. And he went back, and they said, "Oh, but none of your characters are living in Canada. You planning on just leaving as soon as you get your Canadian citizenship?" So now he has to move some characters to Canada. Little does he realize it's a sliding slope, and by the time they're done, they're going to have him move all of the regular cast to Canada.
So... a coffee/tea shop that has a Jam Night once per week? I wonder if Cubetown has any AI electric guitars? And me, I'd be tempted to name the place 'Corners.'
"Everyone is making it up as they go along can be very inspirational." (Hint: It's true for everyone, everywhere)
Coffee of Doom Chain? Coffee of Doom Chain.
Whut? I actually called it? Finally Martens life of hanging around in a coffee shop is paying off
I was also pretty sure Marten was going to open a coffee shop. I'm not sure how many bios are on the Cube, but the smell-o-vision teas at Coffee of Doom seem to be increasingly popular there, so maybe he could have a combo coffee/scent shop.
I CALLED IT!!
I would have thought a tea shop. Maybe Dora can franchise Coffee of Doom. "tea of catastrophe"?
They should ask if the author of “can’t spell tea without treason” give their permission to use the title as a tea shop name.
can i just keep frame 4 forever
This.
I don't see what Dora would freak out about. It's not like a coffee shop in Cubetown would be any kind of competition for Coffee of Doom, although a CoD branch would be cool: Dora could come train Marten and help get the shop rolling, or send Hanners.
I think it's more that she'd be excited over him opening a coffee shop.
Would it be impolite to gloat? I don't care, I was one of at least three people who predicted this. I won't be Coffee of Doom. I'm sure Jeph has a great name already worked out that will amuse us all.
I mean working WITH Dora and making Coffee of Doom a chain wouldn't be a bad idea
"Here's looking at you, kid"
This is awesome! Marten running a coffee shop is brilliant.
Me: *chuckles at comments section* My partner: what's funny? Me: oh it's just that webcomic I read...the one my Coffee of Doom mug is based on. I think I told you about it before, there's like fifteen years worth to catch up though. Partner: *looks it up* holy shit there are *twenty* years worth! *A few minutes later* I hear chuckling coming from the other room...
But has your partner been inoculated against Butts Disease?
Been a while, but I liked Tim Horton's when I could drive out and get it.
I'm no microbiologist, but I'm pretty sure if you sterilise the surface of any random rock near an engineering facility in Canada, a Tim Horton's will sprout up a few months later by spontaneous generation.
It’s a menace.
Canada called. They’re worried about you.
Admittedly we call just about everyone now and then just to, you know, touch base, make sure you're okay. ... Do you need any help...?
The Librarian's Beans
I still think it's a bad idea for Claire to take the job but que sera sera at this point. I do like the idea of Martin setting up his own coffee shop - I hope he gets lot of opportunities to jam with his customers. Still fascinated how the comic is going to work split across two very different locations. Oh, and again Jeph - the art is this looks great!
Is this a ploy to get Faye to Cubetown? Business is slow for robot repair, so Faye and Bubbles move, so Faye can teach Marten, and Bubbles can plant a robot repair business. Surely with daily BOOM!s there’s a plethora of clients.
It's in Canada, so they probably have universal healthcare for robots, already
Yesssssssss!!!!11!
TBF, Marten doesn't need to franchise Coffee of Doom to call it "Coffee of Doom II". I used to shop at a bookstore called 'Bookstop 3', because the owner used to shop at a store called 'Bookstop 2' that she really loved. (No clue where 'Bookstop 2' came from - it might have been the same thing for all I know.)
As it happens, I used to shop at Book Stop back when I lived in Dallas... and before they closed. It was a discount/used book store which I liked because it was not only cheaper for my habit, but also it gave me a way to get rid of the books afterwards that didn't trigger my OCD or whatever it is. The Internet basically killed them before I left. Normally, I went in with a canvas bag full of books, sold them, then perused their shelves until I selected an arm length of books plus a few, bought them and walked out. Their closing sign indicated they weren't buying used books anymore, so the last time I just went in and bought as much as I could carry. And OCD or whatever it is, I still have roughly twice as many paperbacks as I can carry.
Y'all. Clearly the name is Coffee³
Ouch :)
The coffee shop should be called Fifth Quadrant.
Delta quadrant? (Seven of Nine shudders.)
I'm Canadian, YES offense to Tim Horton, it's just burning hot tasteless water, even McDonald's has better coffee and THAT'S NOT THEIR MAIN THING. However, because they made a deal with the devil, you'll never see a bankrupt Tim Horton, they just exists everywhere!
If you're going to Tims for anything other than the TimBits, that's on you tbh
This SHOULD NOT be CoD. Cubetown needs therapeutic Chill, not performative abuse. CoD reflects Dora's personality. Marten's place should reflect his. Blessed is the Bean.
My vote goes to "Coffee or Whatever" (props to Yelling Bird for that one)
It would probably be easier for Martin if he and Claire were married before they immigrate.
How long have they been dating now?
The *art* in these last two comics…just amazing! Last panel Marten is as awesome as second panel Claire yesterday!
The first stop on your path to citizenship is: Realizing Tim Hortons ain't worth SHIT. Signed: a concerned Canadian citizen.
I heard a Canadian once refer to Tim Hortons as a scam. In that they've scammed the country into thinking it's good coffee lol
How about, Claire works remotely from Northampton and makes frequent trips to Cubetown. I really don't feel good about splitting the cast.
He's going to have to serve kopi luwak and Black Ivory coffee. No excuses
"Welcome to "Coffee or Whatever".
Coffee Forever
In fairness to the Tim Horton's critique... their quality has kinda gone downhill over the past 10+ years... They aren't what they once were.
COFFEE OF DOOM GOES INTERNATIONAL. FORGET DORA SHITTING IVE SHITTED MYSELF.
S'fine, if they could only keep the one by the helipad running it means it's not really a Tims market The problem is when Claire gets things running properly and suddenly there IS a Tims market moving in Then it's Thunderdome time
Can't we all just get beyond Thunderdome?
Here’s hoping Marten is CoD’s first franchisee. Then held have access to all their flavours and recipes. I mean, he’d have to do tea right?
I don't know if the spiders in the basement can be copied, and they're probably an essential component of something.
Now, for the last step, please let Marten hire someone named Nigel, just, you know, to make plans for. We only want what’s best for him
Nigel and Marten have the same number of syllables. I don't believe Nigel is actually part of any of the rhymes. Also, I was young back when Nigel was, and I'm old now, so I doubt that Nigel really fits the lyrics that well. :%s/Nigel/Marten/g
Jeph, thank you. I NEEDED this comic. :)
I don't think Marten could pull off Coffee of Doom II. More like "Chill Brew - but available at most temperatures you want". Would say "any temperature you want", but he's met some of the residents.
A double-shot tungsten latte served at 5,659°C. The material sciences department is still working on the mug, though.
In true Canadian tradition, would it not be "Coffee of Mild Discomfort"?
"Coffee of Sorry."
Aaaaaaa
Additionally and on further reflection: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nah, Jeph, real Canadians know Tim's is shit and that's what makes you One Of Us now. 🇨🇦
I'm not sure I'd be that excited if I was taking a high stress job like this and my partner decided to try to open a business at the same time. Both endeavors will take so much time, energy and cause so much stress, and there will be a big financial risk in opening a business. Augh!
It'll definitely be stressful, but the impression I got from Claire's reaction to her proposed salary was that she will be obscenely rich now -- so I don't think there's going to be that much risk. Which is good because, let's be honest, Marten will absolutely fuck this up big time before getting it right.
For real though, Tim's can be really shitty and try to get you kicked out of your home if you're an inconvenience. There was a scandal in PEI where they tried to evict some residents in a building they owned to make it into a corporate dormitory for temporary foreign workers (which is exploitative as fuck). I think it got ruled in favour of the residents but a lot of people had already been chased off.
Really? I didn't know that. Makes me glad that I've never gone to a Tim Horton's-
Coffee of Doom 2, Electric Boogaloo
Explosive Boogaloo
Breach the news to Hanners first. She could round up CoD's weapons first. Just in case Dora doesn't take it well. Of course Dora will train him. Maybe even help with a loan so He can get decent equipment. Dora could supply beans and tea. For a reasonable profit, of course.
If Hanners takes it poorly, Cube Town might come under orbital bombardment.
We ALL know it's the TEA that will change Cubetown! Marten will own Cubetown in a month.
You can make a very decent tea using an espresso machine with a teabag in the basket, but do NOT do this with the same espresso machine you use to make actual coffee, they don't mix well.
You're... you're gonna warn us if you're wrapping up the story right? I need time to emotionally process.
He mentioned in a previous post that the next arc (this one) is NOT the end of the comic and he still has plenty of story left to tell
Also, Claire really has been on a roller-coaster of emotions recently, huh.
Coffee of Doom ll : Electric Boogaloo
Explosive Boogaloo
CoD North, here we fucking GOOOOOOOOO!!
Will he open his own, or a franchise of Coffee of Doom?
Me thinks they are all going to move here...
"Everyone there will give big cheer. Everyone there will have moved here. I like to be in Ca-na-di-a Okay by me in Ca-na-di-a..."
All commenters ever: "We've been SHOUTING this for MONTHS"
They have indeed. I did not stan the coffee shop idea for Marten, but they were right and I was wrong.
It's okay, most of us don't like Timmies since they got bought out by that Brazilian equity firm...
RIP, Walnut Crunch.
Lifelong Canadian here. I’m with Marten.
Also this is what happens when you give slackers time and space to be themselves, they get sick of drifting & pick a direction
For Nigel?
We're only making plans for Marten He has his future in Canadian coffee We're only making plans for Marten Marten's whole future is slightly less nebulous than it was before.
Coffee of Doom's first offshoot, Coffee of Gloom.
One of their specials, available only at 1pm precisely (iirc), is Coffee Goes Boom
I love this storyline so much.
"Coffee of Doomette" sounds a lot better than "Coffee of Doom II". Would Dora train him for a cut? After all, Marten will have to upgrade his palate from "If it's hot and brown he'll like it" to make a go.
Cofflet of Doomlet?
I did NOT see that coming. Coffee of Doom II.
The graphics are slightly better.
Okay, but hear me out. Cube-shaped coffee mugs.
Upvote, but you say that like Cubetown doesn't have every conceivable thing available in cube shape, and a couple of inconceivable things.
You know what; I'll take the heat off: Tim Hortons SUCKS.
I like Tim Horton's. It isn't a coffee shop, but it's fine for what it is.
Marten yes
FRANCHISE!
Franchise!
Nah. It should reflect the personality of the owner. He is not Dora.
Tim Horton’s truly is everywhere in Canada.
Dora can teach him the ways of the bean juice
strained bean soup