The Dankest Emmet Lore
EMMETT
Comments (67)
Surprised by Faye's reaction to an "i got drunk and badly hurt myself" story, maybe she's more over her damage than i am!
I mean, really, none of that sounds like even a stretch for someone that managed to buy their own tattoo gun and tattooed themselves.
Thank you mayor cookie moose
Only city folk wouldn't believe them. Anyone that ever lived out in a rural area already knows at least three people that have done the same sort of stuff.
Oh, people in my hometown absolutely believe that sort of thing happens all the time. They're also just certain that you PERSONALLY are a liar trying to get attention, and probably cribbed the story off your friend's brother's kid or some such.
Sam's affectionate, supportive smile in panel 2 is so cute I could DIE 🥺
ah, I was beginning to worry when your earlier comment didn't have the 🥺 emoji in it :P
Huh. No perfume allusions today?
I love that in the last panel Bubbles and Sam react by looking from Emmett to Faye and Millefuille reacts by looking from Emmett to Bubbles.
While Beeps just remains riveted on Emmett in horrified fascination.
Yeah, I got into about half that much trouble, though most of it I never told another soul about. I wasn't cool, though, I was just an abused kid with no supervision, so I did whatever I felt like and stayed out of the house as much as possible.
Your name wins the internet.
I totally believe him, because I've done half that stuff myself. But nobody ever believed me either.
*them
Emmett's childhood sounds a LOT like mine.
Why doesn't Emmet use "we" and "us"?
They don't have to if they don't want to. "I" and "me" are perfectly acceptable singular nouns that have no gender identifiers.
How much have we lost because parents and teachers didn't understand that you need to channel curiosity rather than punish it? I'm glad that I'm old enough that when I was a kid A. C. Gilbert chemistry sets and REAL CHEMICALS, and some that could actually be dangerous. But back then you could buy actual laboratory glassware at Sears, too.
You should see the trouble you can get up to when your home has a very well-equipped chem lab and workshop!
“Anyway, long story short, that’s why I can’t go back to Canada. Ever.”
I don't normally dang but daaaaaaaaaangggg Emmett rules.
I get the vibe that Emmet is largely ignored by their parents until something explodes.
Sam knows how to pick good friends.
Emmet needs to hang around people who are really REALLY good at first aid or learn to rock the Pirate Look with pegleg, hook, and eye patch now and beat the rush later
Kiddos are adorable — however, as a dad I will use Emmet as a cautionary tale
I believe you Emmett.
Emmet should confess their crush right now. They would get so many Sam-smooches
But confessing this is Emmett's greatest fear (much worse than getting shot at or freezing to death).
My favorite thing about these Patreon posts is seeing something Jeph goes into detail about that I don't have personal experience with, like being trans or particular mental disorders or being a rural Canadian kid, & reading all these comments from folks who do, saying, "Yep, that pretty much nails it." Y'all are great.
Heh. Love the good ’ol hypocrisy of ”don’t do that shit, it’s bad but it makes you hella cool.”
I also love the fact that, the more Emmett talks, the more reasonable their mom sounds.
Emmett, one word: witnesses.
BRB Adopting Emmett
No I called dibs
Sam's taking notes in that first scene
While in 10th grade I was rebuilding my first car (to have it ready when I got my license) and I had to replace the entire exhaust system. Before tossing all the old metal, I realized I could probably quickly make a small pulse jet out of it. It produced no thrust at all. But it was the loudest ball of fire EVER! Ran for about 3 minutes before it started failing and falling apart. Left permanent scars on the driveway. When folks asked about the marks, my Dad would nonchalantly say: "Oh, that was just my son's pulse jet." As if everyone's son built a pulse jet.
I just did a minimum of research, and I can see why a somewhat handy 10th grader would look at a scrap car exhaust and say, "hey, I know what to do with that!"
No wonder Sam likes them.
Proof of what I keep telling people -- anxiety != foresight. I was hardly a fearless kid, but mostly I feared implausible things, while somehow being clueless to actual hazards. I'm amazed to still have all my original fingers and toes.
I'm missing part of my right index finger. Incident involving a mincer.
Wow Emmet. That's like talented amounts of juvenile mischief.
Jeph, you have to stop, if I love Emmett any more my heart will literally burst and it will be very messy
I shall get a bucket. 💕
Ah yes, the joys of trying to create entertainment for yourself in a tiny rural community. My middle brother and his friends used to pull similar stuff.
Emmet just has one of 'those' faces. The ones that are never associated with childhood shenanigans. I, too, have one of these faces. Sadly, I never took advantage of it. I consider it a missed opportunity.
Emmett is my absolute favorite character now
Emmet out-Sam'd Samantha. Now THAT is impressive.
Next to those, getting yourself a tattoo gun a drawing yourself a cool S on an easily-covered part of your body sounds pretty tame, by comparison.
I’m surprised none of that involved driving a Zamboni.
The town Zamboni is an AI, and so drives itself.
All the humans are like, "Ur so cool!", and all the AIs are like, "How is this species not extinct yet?"
To be fair to humans, the sample consists of Faye and Sam. I imagine Marten and Claire might have had a more neutral reaction.
I think Old Man Pearson was right after all.
You'd think the tattoo would be enough for people to believe them!
So standard Canadian youth shenanigans.
cue out for a rip chorus
Emmett is basically the living embodiment of "I know shouldn't, but I'm going to anyway".
Also known as "Canadian Teenager living in the boonies" *speaking from experience*
ah, so Emmett is basically "what if Sam, but even more so, plus social anxiety"
Emmet is a great combo of young, dumb and lucky. The adorable chaos goblin.
I was in this position in school. Did some cool as hell shit but it was 80s and there was no video or photographic proof.
Sheesh, and I thought Sam was the gremlin here. Don’t ever let them meet Pintsize.
Emmet has lived a life that puts most of ours to shame.
Making crop circles with what, though?
Well, that depends on the shape. A big ol' piece of plywood, a discarded door (the screen doors are nice and light and work), or, if out of good options, a rake will also work.
So the socially awkward kid is actually the coolest kid Sam knows.
Truth is stranger then fiction Emmet.