G'day

I have legitimately worked in jobs where goanna attack was a real conserne and we had procedures to deal with Tony the goanna

First you don't let crocodiles into libraries, then their literary rated drop, and the next thing you know they are rumbling in the streets with the Jets and the Sharks

Ok but try telling a Goanna where to go and what to do (unless you're a delightfully unaware waitress that has no problems dragging one out by the tail)

Crocodiles don't CARE what's "allowed." IJS...

I can't believe no one so far is concerned about the potential for Emu shenanigans!

Personaly I'm mostly worried about those insane pyromaniac birds

Claire, honey, that's fine for you, but Marten won't be in the library, now will he?

While the rules do prohibit crocodiles from local libraries, crocodiles aren't known for listening to rules. They mostly listen to screaming.

The ranking order of most toxic creatures goes: 1. Drop bears (of course) 2. The Prime Minister 3. Jellyfish 4. Snakes 5. More snakes 6. Spiders (except peacock spiders, daddy long legs and huntsmen) 7. Other politicians 8. Salties 9. More snakes 10. More spiders 11. Freshwater crocodiles 12. Koalas with chlamydia 13. Stingrays 14. Everything else (except peacock spiders)

Cassowaries know that they are dinosaurs, and will eff you up, man.

When a 15-20 ft cranky crocodile wants into the library, are YOU going to try and stop it from coming in, Claire?

But - stay with me here - what if it fell off a truck?

Seriously, the other night I was putting the bin out and I surprised a roo on the nature strip. I love living out here. Kookas in the mornings, cockys in the evenings and a kangarroos crossing sign across the road from me. I haven't seen a snake but plenty of lizards and spiders. I keep my cat indoors and the council is very harsh on the owners of free range pets. Also magpies will be your friends with a worm or two.

Everything poisonous lives in Australia but it's possible to avoid most of them.

I live in Australia, and have a "no crocodiles" sign, not as effective as you may think. The "no alligators" sign seems to work fine though

Magpies during swooping season are much scarier than crocs!

What about bunyips?

It's always Christmas somewhere in the world. That's the magic of timezones!

Marten, online job postings don't care what time it is.

There are still snakes and spiders and other critters that can get in as well.

The spiders, of course, ARE allowed.

If a crocodile decides to invade a library, who's going to tell them "No!"

The Aussie National Museum web site tells you everything you need to know about drop bears- https://australian.museum/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/

On behalf of Australia, I would LOVE to have them. They can stay at my house and pet my dog.

I believe that crocodiles are only found near 0.2% of Australian libraries. Actually my head just exploded with scenarios for "Questionable Content" visits Australia.

If it's a drop bear, doesn't that mean it's sick? Oh, OK, not a sick koala but a fictional carnivorous koala.

oof. imagine the Australian library spiders.

She's soooo cute zomg

Come to Canberra, Claire! We may have the occasional highly venomous snake in our office buildings, but they're usually very quiet and shy.

As a New Zealander, I can confirm that anyone who goes to Australia DIES INSTANTLY. (Usually it's the venomous politicians, I believe...)

As an Australian, I can confirm that I've never seen a crocodile in a library, except in a picture book. No venomous spiders or snakes either.

Don't google search Echidna penis, whatever you do.

I warn you, Drop Bears are a serious consideration. Then there are the various forms of Danger Noodles...

Let crocodiles get educated!

Thank you Claire. Also goannas have been known to wander in to restaurants, so I don't know that Claire should count on our libraries being entirely reptile free

But Claire, don't forget the myriad other wildlife that will try to end you. And i wouldn't be surprised if they have a venomous book spider or something.

The only genuinely dangerous wildlife in Australia are the southern cross wearing/tattoed bogans, our equivalent of the confederate flag.

Pintaize could have an army of wombats.

omg....

I almost yelled “we don’t have those in Australia” but Claire did it for me.

There are too many things in Australia that would want to eat Marten

stop joking about the drop bears, theyre a real threat here and they kill hundreds of people a year

Questions to ask: * Does the continent actively seek to end you? If you answered yes to any of the above, avoid at all costs.

The search goes on...