Emotional And Physical Support
RIP Marten
Comments (85)
“Slip Slidin’ Away” by Paul Simon was originally titled “Six Blowjobs A Day” but the record label made him change it.
Yeah/no - DO NOT DISCUSS MAKING TIME to administer six blowjobs a day to Marten with Zlata. Your assistant may decide with her new chassis to add that to her workload,....
Divide & conquer, Claire. I'm sure Zlata would be happy to help carry the load!
straight up LOL today Jeph. BZ!!
Poor Martin,... (J/k)
I must spend too much time here. My first thought was Claire-Martin-Zlata troika.
Mama didn't raise no quitter! 😤
Mommymilkers didn’t raise no quitter….!
And thus Claire made a seminal decision.
Belated GDI Sean!
I'd settle for six per year, but I am a lot older than they are.
Art imitating life, Jeph?
She is a treasure indeed, Marten.
Let her cook!!
Bake it, boil it, stick it in a stew…..?
... In a row?
Oh, dear.
6 is impossible, unless 5 are *thwarted* (to borrow a term from yesterday's Oglaf...)
Claire must be drunk. I'm certain I heard her say "six toe-jobs a day", which is entirely doable.
She finally decided to pursue that side career. https://web.archive.org/web/20260220012924/https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4092
This ends with Martin being a desiccated husk and Claire needing to get some sort of TMJ surgery.
Does TMJ stand for Too Much Jizz?
Oh noooo. My steak is too juicy. My lobster is too buttery, etc etc.
She's as toasted as her secretary. And making promises he might not be able to keep.
Her heart's in the right place?
And so is Marten's dick?
What a way to go. At least he died happy. And sore.
My mind immediately went back to Claire finding out Tai and Dora were dating. CLAIRE: I don’t want to work for a HOMEWRECKER! TAI: What did you tell her? MARTEN: Not enough, apparently.
Jebus.
“Better start hydrating, Marten” — Marten’s note to self “Better start hydrating Marten” — Jeph’s note to self “Better, start hydrating Marten” — Claire’s note to self. 🤣
You win the Internet today, Liz P
Yeah, that's how I got TMJ. Do not recommend!
Too Much Johnson?... ohhhh right, temporo-mandibular joint, that makes more sense :)
The God-Emperor Martin, the Corpse King on his Golden Throne, dessicated and barely alive. How could such a thing occur? Adeptas Sororitas Claire: "Tee hee, oops"
The secret to a good relationship more blow jobs.
Blowjobs and more giving and receiving.
Well, it's a start. "Talking about the relationships, or the six blowjobs?" Yes.
Um... you really don't Claire
You're right, she doesn't need to schedule it. That would ruin the spontaneity!
Yep. As Florida man is fond of saying: "Flip phone activate" Definitely some blackmail/teasing material that will need to be recorded for future snu snu arguments
I think one a week is probably an improvement over the current situation. ...Though I might be projecting.
What he needs (no he doesn't) is a potion designed to make his semen triple-chocolate-flavored. #iykyk
There are actually possible future technologies that could do that. #themoreyouknow
When did Marten grow into adult sized pants? :)
A few seconds ago, I imagine.
Out with a bang AND a whimper.
First Claire wanted Marten to fuck her silly, now she wants to give him six blowjobs a day. I believe these two will find an appropriate level someplace.
Well, the obvious middle ground is to sixty-nine in a silly manner six times a day. Relationships are all about compromise after all.
Drunk Claire sucks.
Or makes plans to, at any rate.
Cubetown is gonna be a dry facility before long lmao
Not that dry, if Moray is around.
Tomorrow, everyone will be having some kind of hangover and really messed up hair from the snu-snu.
Emily will wake up next to Liz, lying on top of a fully functional cold fusion reactor that neither of them remember building.
She needs to work up to it.
He probably does, too.
Well, it was this or hot chocolate. https://web.archive.org/web/20260314130848/https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4636
But… which tip is Claire referring to? Is it the extra payment? Is it the advice? Or is it Martens glans. Could be all of the above.
Marten, embrace your inner stoic. Accept that which will be. Be one with whatever may come. (ahem)
GIRL. LMAO.
overambitious for her or him?
Yes.
Well, if it will end horror....
Always be supportive. The proper & gentlemanly counter offer is 69 until one of you gets sleepy. The next move is have her dictate the contract acknowledging being drunk & fun.
Just dont try to 69 six times a day. That's a total of 414, which Cubetown's department of sexological sciences assures us is not survivable.
It did need to be said, so I'm glad Zlata said it even though she's gonna HATE herself later.
Well if you figure (at least) one first thing in the morning and one before bed, you're already a third of the way there.
Wait, hear her out...
Give em an old fashioned.
6 s day sounds humanly impossible, but I’m sure there MUST be some research team somewhere in Cubetown drafting a research paper on that very subject.
They're in a specialised dungeon, not a surprise. The surprise is that Liz basement dwelling was mere metres away from it. The inexplicable rhythmic thumping at scheduled times was soothing for Liz-ard brains.
Chronic overworked first the library then 6 more jobs on top of that
😂👏👏👏
Mood Coffee is in trouble before it really got started!
Damn, I can't get one a year in my relationship.
July 2008.
One million years blowjobs!
All of you! No trials!
6 a day?! That's medical treatment levels of horn.
Requires a refractory period of under 90 minutes, unless she's getting him up in the middle of the night. (Pun very much intended.)
If you can't find the time, I'm sure Zlata will volunteer to perform some of them.
Zlata will wake up to several dozen drunken emails from Claire explaining her plan, immediately vent her coolant and faint at the thought. *click* FWEEEEEEEEEE *thud*
Death by snu-snu
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is bruised and spongy!
…ow.