Siren Song Progress Report 9/4/25
Hi Again!
I wanted to pop in and give you guys a quick update. There’s good news and bad news. Bad news first.
I have been trying and trying to figure out how to pick up where I left off with Siren Song back in April or whenever it was, and nothing seemed to be working. It all felt weirdly forced. The storyline that had made such sense to me then felt weak, or out of touch. I remembered it seeming so deep and fitting back then, though, so I kept trying.
Then, I read through the last part of chapter 2 and then straight into what I had of chapter 3, and the problem became clear.
What I had done sucked ass.
The direction I had taken things in was just…bad. It was boring, aloof, and straight up weird in parts. I think I was trying to “put you into the mindset of being on tour”. That’s cool and all, but the truth is, when I was on tour, we had LOTS of downtime. And yeah, we were bored a LOT. If that was what I was trying to capture, I nailed it! It was just Bobby and Charlotte walking around, hanging out. Wow. Super fun.
Anyway, I had to take it back pretty far and redo a lot of dialogue, change Charlotte’s outfit (from skanky to cute), and redirect the story as a whole. I didn’t have to scrap too much, just the boring parts, so it’s not a complete do-over. After I release chapter 3, I’ll let you know what my original trajectory was (spoiler alert: it sucked).
The good news:
I am now back on track and really excited about the new and improved direction this story is taking. Yes, there’s still a bit of them walking around and hanging out, but it’s more engaging and fun and less of an info dump/commentary on the DIY punk scene of the '90s and early aughts (AKA “Back in my day…”).
So, that’s where I am, for better or worse. I’m sorry this isn’t going any faster. I am optimistic that it will be worth the wait. FWIW, here is the "skanky" Charlotte (left) vs "cute" Charlotte (right), just to give you some perspective on the difference (It’s mostly a different top and hair):
To me, she just looks more "Charlotte-y" now. I hope you guys agree with my change!
Okay. See ya next time!
Love y'all,
~ Jonesy
Comments (4)
I can only speak for myself, and I don't know how many devs want to hear this, but I don't really play AVNs for the story. I'm not saying it can be nothing but sex scenes but I'm perfectly fine with a slice of life thing. No otherwise mundane storyline in an AVN is that boring because the sex (and often taboo in nature) is what provides excitement. I'm sure if you had a Charlotte situation going on while on tour your boring parts would have been a lot less boring lol
True. And sometimes there were situations similar, and no, those times were not boring. We're building towards that 😉
Yes, the right one looks much better wrt how Charlotte is depicted.
Not really sure what to say about the direction and rewrite, but if it better conveys your vision, more power to ya! I enjoy your stories mostly anyways, though NYE got quite dark lol. As far as the pic comparison, I wouldn't really call the left skanky, but you really need to have a proper build and look to pull off a tube top well without looking frumpy, and I agree she looks way better in the new pic. Definitely more stylish and fitting!