Assassins (1995)
It’s ASSASSINS this week! Richard Donner, Sly Stallone, Antonio Banderas and a script by the Wachowskis what could go wrong?
Comments (97)
Commenting 2 years later and dude, The Riddler movie rocks dude. Can’t wait for the sequel.
Hell yeah
The “greasy loser” killed by Sly in the opening scene in the swamp is the guy who plays Ben Willis, the killer fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer & its sequel. Muse Watson, one of the greats. Also am a janitor. Thanks for bringing light to the issues (stolen janitor valor)
I
This episode was all over the fucking place and I’m here for it.
The music in her apartment was Portishead “Sour Times” from the bands First Album “Dummy” And I am 5’5”
I might be the tallest, I’m 6’9”🤷🏼♂️
Do not listen to this episode while sick with a fever, the Bat Bro talk is nightmare fuel…
I love that Gabrus and Stanger were both kind of excited to see the Batman and Rodgers used a prolonged bit to neg them out of it. “Don’t sleep on too much CGI, bro!”
I always mix this up with The Specialist. I blame my Swiss cheese brain.
The target at the funeral is actually Donner's cousin Steve Kahan, not Donner himself. They look a lot alike and he's in most of Donner's movies so it's an easy mistake to make.
Pro trucker tip. Those 32oz gatorade bottles are perfect.
Am not a pro trucker but lived in a third floor apartment with the bathroom on the ground floor, definitely can vouch for those bottles and how much it sucked when they switched to 28oz ones.
6'8". When I was in basic training, drill sergeants would just call me "Tall Fuck."
6’1 I was always told they didn’t know shit could pile that high . Umm Gabrus do I win contest
There is a regular bar patron where I work that swears the newest Matrix was directed by the the Wachowski brothers’ “sister, Lana.” I think his head might explode if I correct him.
“when I’m at the airport I be shittin’” great episode. Later.
Trivia: While it is not made clear in the film, the members of Interpol killed in film are part of the international police force, and not the band of the same name. Interpol the band wouldn’t form until a few years after the release of this film.
0/15 found this interesting.
Where are we at as far as covering the remaining filmography of action move mainstays? I feel like there's maybe only one or two theatre-released Segal movies left... same for Arnold and Sly before we roll into the aughts and get into 'The 6th Day' and 'Get Carter' territory. Still a few Van Damme, and lots of Canon Norris flicks left by my count, though.
2-4-1 was the shit. I would go there then Home of The Hits
Who’s got 2 thumbs and cums when they’re soft
6’ 5” skin and bones, all hog
Found this junket interview for Assassins with Banderas and Sly. Stallone jokingly says, “Donner would have hired a real assassin to kill me if I didn’t do this movie.” https://youtu.be/dynFFtm5DMU
poor Pa Kent, all those years of belly finishes and he gets stuck raising a kid in his retirement
Death was a beautiful escape
Had an annoying day at work. Went for a walk after work right as they got to the Total Recall/Ebeneezy riff run and I was losing it. Exactly what I needed and was laughing out loud and probably freaking people out. Just a perfect encapsulation of why I'll never cancel my subscription.
'Last Man Standing' is a remake of 'A Fistful of Dollars' with Clint Eastwood. They are both remakes of Akira Kurosawa's film Yojimbo
Love The Sauna effects!!! Haha
5’6’’ truck driver. Great job on the radio play Kevin
The lead singer of Phantom Planet is Seth Rogen’s bully buddy in Donnie Darko. Then Rogen would go on to work with Jason Swartzman on Funny People. 0/3 found this interesting.
Extra funny episode. Def gonna ask why Rodgers’ landlord wants him gone in shadow wolves lol.
Imagine meeting someone who tells you their favorite band is sneaker pimps.
Rodgers referenced Scott Hall in the episode and then he dies the day it comes out.
not the first time they've cursed someone with death
There are a couple riddler guys at my comics shop I go play Warhammer and marvel crisis protocol at. I thought the movie was actually pretty cool just to fucking long. Could have cut out the entire Catwoman plot and nothing with the movie changes that much. But got to drink a couple drinks and spend a night out with the wife and she thought it was all hot as hell so can't complain to much.
How many bananas did sly eat ? Just one take or many?
"What kind of hat would you like? Be honest." "Ebenezey"
When I waited tables, I worked with so many, “people are sleeping on the Riddler” types. Would have been around the time of the last Nolan film so I got a lot of, “Its gonna be hard to live up to Heath, but Bane is smart, dude. He knows he’s Bruce Wayne and he breaks his back.”
Passed on Moonfall after learning one of the characters mantra is “What would Elon do?”
How good with this movie have been if they had swapped out Antonio Banderas with Jean-Claude Van Damme?
Hi! 4’ 10.5”…could be this gal.
I think you are her! You are that girl 👸
I'd love the ABZ to do a regular improv podcast, like The Teacher's Lounge, but based in the gym and sauna.
Great intro, great story's. Gonna Google Riddler tattoos and give this ep another listen.
Please put the gun down, sir
Hey, Jon Smith: *pushes up glasses* *speaks with a lisp* Actually, the Portishead song is called "Sour Times (Nobody Loves Me)." I'm a big Portishead fan, so I'm just fuckin' around. lol And yeah. MTV used that shit all the time. That and "6 Underground" by the Sneaker Pimps.
yeah man Sneaker Pimps were on the Spawn soundtrack right? That's all I remember. I wasn't into Portishead but I watched Assassins way too much and that era of Mtv is embedded in my head. Fuckin Real World London, people hated it but I loved it cuz most of the people were nice and they seemed like they were having a good time not Puck picking his nose and sticking it in the peanut butter or whatever
6’5” 380 lbs. Also a trucker, I appreciate the shout out.
5'2 shout out all my short kings & queens <3
We have a 4’10 girl further down in the comments, but you are close! I hope they announce a winner for shortest and tallest
The breakdown near the end of this one infected me too somehow
the song Stang couldn't remember is a Portishead song.. I would assume it's called "Nobody Loves Me" cuz that's what the lady's moaning the whole time.. I think it was a go to song for Mtv on The Real World and whatnot when there's a sad/emo moment
I don’t think Stanger knows what “butt rock” is
The Batman really captured the vibe of Frank Miller or even Legends of the Dark Knight comics of the 80’s. The marketing sucks but the movie is great.
wait til Dr. Runtime actually sees it.. three hours, definitely doesn't need to be
haha more Seattle shit: that Jack In The Box E. coli outbreak happened in the Seattle area when I was a kid. I went to high school with a kid who got a big settlement from that shit, I guess his brother got really sick.. but yeah a couple people died I think. I stan those bacon cheddar potato wedges ..never ate the tacos but that was big for most kids I knew in high school. It was mostly Wendy's and Jack in the crack dollar menu for us
didn't Stang's family own a restaurant or something?
Colin Farrell’s Bullseye did have a ludicrous alligator overcoat. It looked like something Undertaker would think was gaudy
Omg Gabrus I'm dying for them to do the long chicken sandwich on Fast Foodies. I'm honestly shocked no one has picked it yet.
"long chicken" sounds funny. Is it just a chicken parm sandwich?
The fucking sauna recreation had me in tears.
Banderas is definitely a great actor in Spanish at least. Check out Almodovar classics Law of Desire, The Skin I Live In and especially Pain and Glory.
The Skin I Live In is great, and it has Elena Anaya, who is quite a cutie.
saw this for my birthday when it came out and as a Seattle area kid I was stoked they didn't fake Vancouver for Seattle, they used an actual local news reporter for that cemetary scene.. that used to be a staple in the 80's and 90's right? the real local news people thing to put an authentic stamp on a movie I dunno I have to poop bye
I punched a hole in my wall once years ago and it is among the worst feelings i ever had. I felt like such a loser baby having a temper tantrum and it was only compounded by the embarrassment of patching it up the next day. I'll still look at that space of wall in the bathroom while in there shitting or whatever and get like a chill down my spine remembering how stupid that shit is.
I kicked the wall in high school after not being allowed out one weekend. My dad fixed the drywalll but didn't redo the wallpaper until I moved out. I like to think it's him teaching me a lesson more than his taking 3 years to fix one thing.
TODAY ACTIONBOYZ BECOME NUMBER ONE (6’3, 250)
6'5 3/4"
We have a 6’7 person further down. We also have a 4’10 girl. I believe they are the winners so far. You are definitely second place though
Going to kick back, relax and think about some old chess matches.
Surprised Banderas didn't have a death scene like Peewee in Buffy
The thing with James Bond Jr I always thought was funny was his Mom clearly lied to him about Bond just being his “uncle”.
Man the theme song on that show was insane
The doughboys have talked about BK painting the lines on the burgers before too and it’s just funny to me that people could think that that is easier or more cost effective or something than throwing a patty on a gas grill. The last BK I was in you could clearly see the grill from the counter, it’s just a big disgusting commercial gas grill. I could be wrong, there are certainly some intense factory food nightmares in the world, but imagine the mechanism of a thing that like, spray paints liquid smoke onto some meat so that they can grill them on a flat piece of metal instead of a grate?
This is the hill I will die on
Holy shit the cajun accents lol
I'm right there with Gabrus on the Robert Pattinson fandom. I think he stands out because it was so easy to dismiss him from the Twilight stardom, but he's been compelling in just about everything I've seen him in. The Lighthouse was incredible. Gabrus, you should watch The Rover if you haven't seen it. It's a must-watch for a Pattinson fan, and it feels like a modren Action Boyz movie because of its graphic violence and grim setting.
Sweatiest movie I've watched since CHUD
I feel like they were planning on making “EYES” a character in the movie, but then kinda forgot
Instead we get a late film replacement…Jasmine
Based on the early reference to LA Confidential, does anyone else in the Action Faction read Jame Ellroy?
I've read a few of his books. I got really into his stuff at one point, but partway through The Cold Six Thousand he just lost me and I never went back.
Who would win in a gunfight between Banderas in this one and Banderas in Desperado?
I also don't have a PIN or anything on my phone. My buddy got robbed in NOLA and they drained all his accounts (he ended up getting them all back from the bank at least)
I guess Banderas’ two gun thing looks cool, but it bothers me on a tactical level. Like you’re gonna get smoked by the dude focusing on one gun ever time
Hot take!
Julianne Moore was in this movie and Todd Haynes SAFE in the same year. Xander Berkely more evil than Banderas
Those were the same year?! SAFE is an interesting movie. Recommend.
I’ll be listening to this while at jury duty this morning. This is one of my favs!
Immediate disqualification.
The newish documentary/animated movie ‘Flee’ dabbles with Sly, Van Damme and Norris a little bit. Couldn’t help but think of my ABZ brothers and sisters when I saw it.
Shoutout to Stanger as another heavy earwax guy. :/ Just another one of those cool things nobody tells you are a part of getting older, first time my ears got completely plugged up I legit thought I was going deaf.
Feels good to get it cleaned out by a doctor with warm water. My friends don't believe it's a real thing
This must have the quietest shootouts in Action Boyz history. It could have been called "Silencer: The Movie".
Where was that cat shitting?!
Toilet trained