Nana's Gift - part 1

With dragging and heavy steps, Bella failed to go unnoticed through the kitchen door on her way to her room. She felt her face hot and her nose becoming stuffed, but she avoided letting her sobs come out too loud and attract attention — an unnecessary effort, knowing who she shared the house with. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she heard the gentle knocks and the inevitable question.

"Bella, my love, are you okay?"

The girl squeezed her eyes shut and wiped her wet face with her hands, taking a deep breath before replying in a voice choked with bitter tears.

"I'm fine, Nana," she said. A useless lie, as her grandmother immediately opened the door to see her with her own eyes.

"No, you're not," the short-legged elderly woman quickly reached her granddaughter and enveloped her in an embrace scented with lavender and spices. That hug had comforted her since she was a baby, healing where it hurt and taking away all the bitterness that life outside that humble little house in the suburbs could bring her.

The old lady said nothing, just waited for Bella to calm down in her arms and only asked something again when her sobs subsided.

"Was it that boy again?"

A good judge of character and as perceptive as ever, Nana Grace never for a minute believed that boy was right for her granddaughter. Indeed, Joe was far from being the Prince Charming she dreamed of for her only granddaughter.

"Yes, Nana, but..." Bella confirmed, sighing, "... but that's not all."

How could she put into words that what she felt was much bigger than the rejection of a boyfriend who said he loved her but had walked away at the first chance to be in a better place than with her? He wasn’t the first to do that; he was just another one. What she really felt was that anyone she was with would never see a future with her because she herself couldn’t see that future for herself.

She felt like her life always seemed stuck in the same place. No matter how much she tried or imagined countless possibilities, she could never get out of that situation, that stagnation that suffocated her every time she stopped to think.

"What is it, then, my love?" Her wrinkled, bright eyes searched the younger one's wet, red face. "Tell Nana."

"I don't have..." she shook her head, a few strands of her wavy hair sticking to her lips. She took a deep breath, throwing all her heart out at once. "I don't know where to go, Nana. I wish I were one of those people who are born with a gift. Who knows from a young age the path they want to take and exactly what to do to achieve success. But me?! I'm always struggling to find myself in life, nothing I start works, and time just goes by, and by... Faster and faster!"

Indeed, the girl had made numerous attempts to make her way in life. Starting with the most common jobs — working at a fast-food restaurant and selling clothes at the local mall, which only made her want to die of exhaustion and being harassed at least twice a week. She also ventured into makeup videos, which required a massive dedication to scenery and lighting that her low income never allowed. Finally, she started an online administration course that, once again, her financial conditions prevented her from continuing.

"What I wanted, Nana," she took her grandmother's calloused hands in hers. "Was for someone to tell me exactly what I have to do. To come with everything ready, guaranteed, and I would just need to follow step-by-step without having to keep hitting a wall."

"My dear," Nana Grace, who had been listening in silence, finally spoke. "The path we have laid out is the one paved by those before us. Many had the right opportunity at the right moment and clung to it. Others were born lucky and didn’t have to lift a finger to continue the empire their family built before them." She took a heavy breath before continuing. "But unfortunately, my love, you were born here," she raised her hand to show the small single room she had lived in since she was six years old. The old, stained paint peeled off in the corners, and the worn-out furniture held her few belongings under fragile feet, but that didn’t make it any less cozy than it always had been. "And those born in places like this have to fight twice, three times as hard to achieve what they want."

Bella swallowed the words that danced on her tongue: "But I don’t know what I want."

"When your mother left you with me," it was Nana Grace's subtle way of saying 'when your mother died'. Bella’s father had long since disappeared, and they never spoke of him. "I didn’t know if I would manage to raise you with the little I had from your grandfather's pension."

"I'm sorry, I..."

"NEVER!" The old woman held her granddaughter's face in her hands. "Never apologize for being the love of my life, understand?"

The girl smiled, tearful, and nodded.

"What I mean is that I had to figure things out. I did everything in this life — sewing, crafts, sweets... All to supplement the income and provide a minimum of comfort for you, my love. Ensuring you always had your study materials and food on the table. What I mean is that, unfortunately, the only inheritance you have is the struggle to find your place in the world. It's all I can give you, my granddaughter, and I’m very sorry for that."

"Nana..."

And what started as one person crying became both crying and healing together.