long long post
today i need to use patreon as my diary, so I apologize in advance because it will probably be all over the place, but I just really need to get this out of my system
I'm feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and all my insecurities from the past years are hitting me in the face at once.
right before my update yesterday webtoon decided that for most of my readers the comic will appear as "mature" even though it shows up as "young adult" for me. IN THEORY, i would be absolutely okay with it, because in the future there WILL be sex and there will be gruesome shit happening to Robin and Noah. I'm sex and kink positive, censoring of any and all art is bad, Ghost Lights is a whimsical horror romance, let's go!
But right now I can't even lure anyone with NSFW or cool horror to my patreon, because I have nothing to offer in that regard!! And instead all it does is that most of my readers won't be able to properly access it anymore and the bigger problem is that it will get hidden away on the app itself. Because as we all know mature topics like (checks notes) mental health are too much for our corporate overlords... and as much as I find their censoring ridiculous it is pretty much a death sentence on this god forsaken app.
Besides, it shows up as "Young Adult" for me, in Germany, but most of my readers are in different countries. So I most likely can't even appeal... because there's nothing to appeal?!
thanks to my monthly update schedule it gets hidden away already, rarely makes the lists and won't get promoted. and I have noticed that most of my readers won't get notified anymore about new updates because I have fallen out of their "recent reads" after 27 days.
Suddenly I have to face the consequences of both of those things at once and I'm BONE TIRED and very concerned.
I never talk about numbers, because oh my god do I hate them. They make me feel like shit. But today I have to, unfortuately, so please bear with me for a second
I noticed how the views and likes declined rapidly in the past months. The numbers show around 590k subscribers on webtoon and around 120k on tapas for Ghost Lights.... the truth is, not even a fraction are active readers anymore.
"I'm taking too long" is what I'm telling myself, and naturally most readers must have forgotten about my boys or moved on,
but also because the apps hate my monthly update schedule. It's a vicious cycle, because
update happens but readers won't get notified OR readers forget and lose interest ➡ less and less readers engage ➡ less engagement means the algorithm thinks the comic is not worth showing to people ➡ less new readers will find the comic ➡
update happens but readers won't get notified OR readers forget and lose interest ➡ rinse and repeat
If i can give an honest estimate, i think there are maybe around 15k readers left on both apps combined. Which is still a lot of people, but can i realistically make a living with it...?
right now, yes. Because I'm living with my parents and I split the rent and food cost with my dad. Most of my money just goes to medical stuff and health insurance, and every now and then to videogames or commissioning another artist. I'm living an uneventful life in my snail shell 🐌 and so I'm able to sustain myself with like 1.6k EUR (so maybe like 1.8k USD?) per month. And I do have savings on the side that I won't touch until absolutely necessary. More numbers for you, but just want to be very transparent with you all. It's definitely not enough to make it on my own out in the wild hehe, but enough to get by at the moment!
And I'm so incredibly grateful that I can do this as a job! Because it means even with a chronic illness I can still work towards something and I even get to take as much breaks as I need and I can work at a pace that is doable for me! And I get to draw my boys kissing!! I love webcomics and I love doing webcomics, I love it so much!!
But my worries scream at me: for how much longer? Because the harsh truth is that I will never be able to participate in that hellish rat race the industry expects. And in order to finish Ghost Lights, I somehow need all of this to last a few years longer... need to try and make a living with it for a few years longer, so that I can tell the story until the end! And then there's the dream of maybe even doing another story eventually. And another one..! Please. It all seems so out of reach sometimes.
and it hurts, because even during the past few years I felt like no matter what i do, it's never good enough. Not for the goddamn algorithm, not for any corporation, but neither for the majority of readers. I'm taking too long, I'm putting in too much effort, I draw the backgrounds myself like a fool, the story is too complicated, story too complex, story too outlandish, too problematic, but at the same time not scary enough, not spicy enough, slow burn too slow, kiss lasts too long... characters not hot enough, characters not wholesome enough, it fits nowhere, i fit nowhere,
whatever it is, there's always something that is "not enough". i've not been "good enough" for a very long time.
i came to realize that these corporations make me hate the way i am. i'm being ableist towards myself. wishing i was healthy, putting all my hatred towards myself. and it makes me so mad, because i don't want to feel that way. I WANT TO BE PROUD. I want to shout from the rooftops how much I love my boys and how much love I put into them every day, how deep the story goes and how proud i am of all the breadcrumbs i leave and how happy it makes me when someone notices them. Want to be proud of how hard i work to make the pages look nice and want to show how much i love to draw. How much they mean to me and how comforting they are to me...
but i've felt embarrassed and ashamed for the longest time, because Ghost Lights takes so long to progress with its plot.
I hate that I feel that way. Here I have something that I built for myself and that comforts me and that helps me through hard times, and then it gets "ranked" by an algorithm and it tells me that it's not worth anything.
I just want my story to EXIST so badly, so desperately, against all odds.... but to be honest most of the time i feel shame. so much so that I was not able to celebrate the prototype's 10 year anniversary last year in early 2025, because i was too sick and felt too ashamed. which makes me want to cry, because how cruel that feels towards myself. ugh..
I want to feel proud. I sometimes do feel proud! But it's so difficult to be proud when it's clear that this industry is not made for people with disabilities and quality doesn't get valued at all. the companies are downright hostile. In my opinion the current webcomic landscape is made for absolutely no one, except for people who sell their souls to the algorithm gods. those who then end up in burnout and become just like the ones who can't keep up, the ones who get left behind! sadly, you can see it happening daily. daily there is another cancelled webcomic, another one enters an indefinite hiatus. never coming back. it happens even with artists who have a whole team behind them. there is no winning here.
in short: if you can't keep up, you're out.
and even though I know this, I feel ashamed that i can't be like them. feel ashamed that i can't be like other artists, that I can't participate in this rat race that I've been placed in against my will. I feel regret that I haven't been able to "market" my comic properly for years..... that I had to try and survive instead for the past years.
The numbers are a lie. I think people see the subscriber number on Ghost Lights and think it's doing well, when it's not so much anymore. And then seemingly I don't fit into the "small artist" bracket and people think it's not needed to talk about it or recommend it anywhere. But I also don't belong in the "big artist" one, because the numbers are a lie.
Numbers don't mean anything. And yet, they dictate how we should feel about ourselves. It's scary how dystopian that is.
Seeing everything i work hard for getting pulled right out of my hands, again and again, makes me so exhausted. And my self confidence and self esteem take hits left and right. I improve my storytelling, my drawing skills, the plot picks up, stuff gets revealed... and it gets less and less recognition. Way less than it did years ago. And then I think "is it really that bad?" ... so bad that 95% of my readers decided to leave?
Someone recently said "Oh wow, I used to read this during its peak!" and how they can't believe it's still going on... I'm sure they meant it in an excited way, but oh that hurt my soul. Getting compared to when I was not dizzy 24/7 and was able to see my art properly. When I was able to participate a little bit more in the rat race. And then it's not "Why can't I be like them?" but "why can't I be like my past self?"
Working on a story in the webcomic industry for 10 years is so difficult and so ruthless. Because everything new and shiny is more valuable. For the algorithm, for a lot of readers. It's probably more exciting to read a new story. Of course it's more fun to participate! Of course it's easier to keep up with the plot if it's getting updated weekly. Ah......
I know that. I know that very much. And I know that I'm being so hard on myself. I also know that not many webcomics even make it to the 10 years mark. For so many reasons.
The past half year I've been in recovery, and I was hoping so much that if I could get better - maybe I can get better!! - I could slowly try and build up stuff again, while my comic readerbase SLOWLY declines. I was making plans on how to get back on social media. I want to stream, I want to reach out to people, want to chat with you guys in real time, I want to do little fun projects, comic strips, maybe even animations, spicy illustrations.... but slowly, SLOWLY PLEASE. I STILL CAN'T SEE SHIT.
and now with the mature rating I'm just here like: Oh! Oh, like a bandaid, it got ripped off. No slow death for my boys. No time for me to prepare. It is here and I have to deal with it.
Which is funny, because of how lore accurate that is!
Anyway, I don't really know what I want to say with this post... I've probably said the same things in 7 different ways as my thoughts are spinning. Just trying to sort my thoughts and trying to find reasons not to throw in the towel. I've cried a ton yesterday (and today) and all my hatred is towards myself, but I know it should be against corporate greed. And that part seems to be growing by the day... I want to be angry at them. I need to learn how to be angry, finally (I've struggled with this a lot in the last decade too, always blaming myself and never the one who hurts me)... so hey, maybe this is a way to speed up recovery too!!
In a few days, I will shake off the sadness and continue drawing my stupid foolish boys 🥹 In fact, I'm gonna draw them RIGHT NOW. Because I'm their stupid foolish parent. Despite feeling embarrassed and feeling sad that so many readers have lost interest and that it's there for everyone to see how much I'm failing. Despite feeling ashamed that it takes so long.
Because even though all of those insecurities are beating me down and even though all those worries are so loud. I know you are still here. And I just hope you know how grateful I am. Thank you to my new patrons who decided to join after I panicked over on webtoon as well. I can't thank you enough..! It gives me a glimmer of hope that there ARE people out there who love my boys with me. That maybe it will last after all.
I just want you guys to see them transform and be pretty in their hybrid outfits...! And I want you to see them figuring out their spirit past, how they will research the closed area together, bracing the storm together, having their first time...! I want to make it all exist. And I will try to!
At least with less readers left on those platforms, it's easier to abandon the corporate hellholes for good and eventually build something somewhere else? Take all the gremlins that are invested and put them in a basket and we travel somewhere else. We'll see....
All I know right now in this moment is that I will never let anyone take my boys from me, nor my love for doing webcomics and storytelling. And that the corpo overlords can suck my dick, uncensored, in great detail.
To close this post, thank you so much for sticking with me🌻🐌 likes, comments, kind words, you buying merch, you being a patron, you cheering me up with your photos of the pins or plushies or drawing fanarts, you telling me your theories or what the story means to you, you showing me that you haven't forgotten and are looking forward to see what happens next!!
you're the reason this story still exists and I promise I will not give up on it as long as I still have readers who don't give up on me
Comments (71)
It's understandable why you feel the way that you do especially since the recent age of censorship has gotten so out of hand that so many author's stories are being heavily and negatively impacted on both webtoon and tapas alike. Not to mention the corporations basically want people to be machines rather than caring about the quality of a story they worry about the numbers they generate which sucks. So many stories in all forms of media get ruined because of it. Sure the pacing of your story is slow but that doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. Your story is one that I genuinely enjoy and think that it's something that you don't easily find in media in general. I don't mean that from a visibility standing I mean more so in a execution standing. Your art is beautiful, your characters as well, the relationship dynamic is enjoyable because of the way you wrote them. People who truly want to enjoy something with so much care put into it in a time where soulless slop gets plastered everywhere will genuinely appreciate your story and the effort you put into it. I switched from webtoon to tapas a while ago so there are many stories like yours for example that I don't read on webtoon anymore so that could be another reason why readers have decreased on there. There's another author that also has their own website where they post chapters/pages of the main story because they don't have to worry about censorship and can share their story the way they intended so it's just a suggestion but maybe you should look into doing something like that. Even though I continue to read the stories despite the ridiculous guidelines they have to tailor to, many readers give up on reading because it genuinely frustrates them so if there's an option to read it on another site without egregious censoring, it can also help get more people interested in your story. It can also serve as a work around for the issues many author's face when it comes to things like sex and sensitive topics. You mentioned that you do plan to have spicy moments at some point so it can sort of be a preventative measure of an ongoing issue. I'd love to get some merch sometime since now that I'm in college, I'm actually in a much better situation to spend my money more freely. I was really sad that I couldn't get the plushies b4 so I'm excited to be able to hop on an opportunity the next time it arises. ˃̶͈◡˂̶͈ I personally changed the way I approach sharing my works and took a lengthy break from posting and being active on social media in general because I got caught up in the numbers of it all. It actually helped a lot because I can actually draw again without feeling so pressured to pump out works every day. The only downside is that I'm honestly pretty lonely in terms of genuine art friends but that's always been an issue on both the internet and irl for me and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that. ᜊ꒦ິ^꒦ິᜊ This is super long wow, I apologize. Last thing I wanna say, your story is not and has not been forgotten and corporations or industry standards don't deserve to have such a weight on you because at the end of the day, YOU are telling this story and if people truly love it they will enjoy it. If the apps get in the way, look for other ways to get your story out there. Don't let the rat race control you, make it work however way you can. YOU worked hard to build your fan base so only you can truly protect it.
I have only just discovered your work and I was blown away. Everything you are creating is GORGEOUS and I constantly think to myself every day “how is this not in some whimsical hardcover print form by now?!” Because you 1,000 deserve it. Please know that I support you on this journey and it’s amazing that you push through the BS that life throws at you and give your all to your passion and telling this story! You do EVERY part of the process and that in itself is mind boggling and every person I share your work with has been BLOWN AWAY at your story and the art. You’re incredible and I am so thankful to have found this story and plan to see these boys out until the last page of THEIR STORY! You will get there and we will be patiently waiting! ♥️♥️♥️
I've been here since the beginning, and I'm so massively glad that I found Ghost Lights. This story has been one of my absolute favorites for years and I always ALWAYS look forward to it updating. Everything about this story is so lovely and means so much to me, I've felt a very deep connection to it since I first found it. Thank you so much for bringing this story to life and to all of us. I'm sorry how awful and inherently ableist corporate bs is. I hope you're able to figure something out and can continue to do what you love. I will follow you wherever you go
I wanna give you a big hug so badly now! But I can't, so I'll just hug my Robin and Noah plushies insted, and hope they'll deliver the love! This is my absolute favourite comic, and I'll stay until the very end of their world! Even at times when I took a break from the swarm of updates on Webtoon, often for months, I still got back on JUST to read Ghost Lights at the end of each month. I love the art, the slow burn and the overall story! It has just the right balance between adorable and terrifying. The beautiful backgrounds, the incredible details, I love everything! No one deserves to be treated that way, and noone should have their work and passion shot down by numbers! (I'm on the hate-train with you about corporate greed.). Anyway! Sending all the love with our adorable boys! XOXO
I am so sad and angry this happened. There's not much i will say that hasn't been said already but still, i wanted you to know how much i love Ghost Lights, and that it means A LOT to me. It's my favorite webcomic of all times by far. Everytinhg you said readers complained about on webtoon is why GL is so special to me ! I'm so fed up with so called slow burns that wrap everything up in only a few chapters, with shallow characters and inconsistent lore, with comics that only scratch the surface... but GL isn't like that. The time it takes to set up the stage is why i'll be willing to wait for each update for as long as needed, it is why the relationship between robin and noah means so much to me and why it moves me to the core. I am so very grateful for you and for this story, i can't quite say how much it means to me. You art conforted me in rough times, i read it form the start every now and then when i need confort. You are so talented and you've given so much to us readers and it makes me so angry our society could make you feel like you're not enough. You are enough ! You are way more than just enough ! Wheter you update weekly, monthly, yearly or not at all. You are a wonderfull, deserving person whatever you "produce", independantly of GL. You have my support now and forever and i will never thank you enough for GL it is a masterpiece (and people who think your boys aren't hot can rot in hell !). I really hope you can find confort around you in these tough times. Please be safe, we are here and not going anywhere. <3
"why can't I be like my past self?" is something i think alllll the time and honestly, i don't have answers for how to stop thinking like that, but i wanted to say i'm SO VERY GRATEFUL FOR YOU and ghost lights is one of my FAVORITE webtoons ever, so no matter where you go, i'll follow you. even though its harder to make an income, have a niche audience means we'll all ride with you and your story and your characters always, no matter what!!!! p.s. i rebuke all the haters that say your story isn't "fill in the blank" enough. your story is so unique and so perfectly what i needed to read. i love it SO MUCH.
p.s. i just became a member on my second alt patreon acct :) i'm going to tell all my friends about ghost lights (again) and do my best to support you. so then all you have to do is keep being you. whatever version of yourself that is and whatever life looks like, you're not alone and you got this!
I first started reading Ghost Lights around 2020, and it is a wonderful, beautiful, uniquely creative fantasy that deserves to survive and thrive in the difficult ecosystem of online sequential art. I support you on Patreon because your boys are loved and you should be able to tell their story without having to starve to do so. (I just bumped up my pledge level to help more). I work in healthcare so I know how difficult things can be when you are dealing with a chronic illness. Please take care of yourself and know that you and your work are loved.
I actually just discovered Ghost Lights today (and I binged through the entire thing naturally), but I want to let you know that your art is so appreciated!! I am a new reader and I am so invested already. Your art is STUNNING and the storytelling is beautiful too. Please remember though, your health (both physical and mental) should ALWAYS come first, and you should never be sorry for prioritizing that!! <3
I love these boys and I will always be here for them and you! Your story means so much to me. I bought the Noah and Robin plushes twice, from each drop, and think of this story every time I look at them. I get excited every time I see the little update notice and I hope you continue to take care of yourself and treat yourself with kindness author because I want you around for a long time to tell me this lovely story! 💜
I met your boys in 2022 on webtoons, and you're the reason I joined Patreon. I can't put into words how much you, Robin, and Noah mean to me. Please know that you are precious, and the story you've brought to life has given life back to many of your readers. No matter what you decide to do, we're with you.
F*ck, that's really rough. The system is bullshit destructive and I hate that it hurts you. It's so unfair! Artists - all of us - are not cogs in a machine that has has to run faster all the time. 😡 I love your story and your art, it touched me deeply emotionally from the start, and it's just getting more interesting and beautifully drawn for every chapter! ✨ And I'm so glad and impressed that you find ways to continue despite struggling with difficult chronic health issues. 🥹 Adjusting the pace is a must to be able to continue with marathon projects like this. 💪 You're the only artist I have supported for this long, and I plan to continue for a long time. I'm gonna head over to Webtoon to boost your reader stats the tiny bit that I can! 🔥♥️
I don't know if this is something you'd even consider, but I want to maybe offer another choice: https://x.com/i/status/2049706166595547208 kadokawa (another corp, sorry) has launched a project to help global manga creators to debut their work, you submit your work (manga) and basic info and they review it, although you are basically at their mercy if they like your work or not, but I think it's worth a try! And also they specify that any copyright stays with the author I'm sorry if this is weird of me to suggest, but I just wanted my favourite artists to know that maybe there was another way 🥹
thank you so much for telling me about this! I did check it at the time when I first saw your message and while it's not the right fit for me, I'm so glad that there are places that outright help creators with debuting their work! i appreciate it very much, it really helped to see that I have more options available after all! because two weeks ago I was like "what do i even dooo" while panicking, so i really needed to see this as well🌻🐌 and it makes me incredibly happy to know that I'm one of your favorite artists omg thank youu 🥹💕
This is my favorite webcomic! I love the pacing on the story and the show burn and the inching closer to them figuring out their past. It’s just a really enjoyable and beautiful story and webtoon is an ass for making stories like yours feel less important.
Honestly, if Ghost Lights updated weekly, I wouldn’t BE a patron. It wouldn’t stick out quite the way it does, it wouldn’t be a special treat whenever it uploaded, and I wouldn’t be quite as attached as I am. The true reason Ghost Lights sticks out to me is the feeling it gives me, something no other piece of media ever has, and frankly, I don’t think it’d GET that feeling anymore if it was just another comic that updated weekly. I’d get used to it, it’d be normal, not special the way it is. I think your struggles show themselves in your story in a way that utterly enraptures me. I can’t describe it for the life of me, but Ghost Lights is just special! Yes, it’s different, and that’s exactly why I love it! And while this is a very different struggle, I had been diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD and highly suspect I have Autism too. Some days (most days actually) I can’t motivate myself to do any more than the bare minimum for my work, even with my meds active. (Also US health insurance is NOT cheap.) It’s really fucking hard, and I keep falling short, and it keeps feeling like it’s my fault, even though I really am doing the best I can. My mom has taught me something incredibly important though: this isn’t an excuse, it’s a reason. Disorders and disabilities are not an excuse to stop trying, even if they are the reason we often fall short. Worst comes to worst, you’ve got us patrons on your side, and your parents too. Yes, the big fat company doesn’t care about you, but it also didn’t care for the author of Deor who ended up in the hospital. It doesn’t care for the author of G.O.D. either, who realized they couldn’t keep up with the (frankly ridiculous) workload of WEBTOON originals, and now has to wait three years just to start over on canvas. The industry doesn’t care for anyone but the people at the top, but WE DO. We care about YOU. We care about YOUR story, YOUR boys, the emotions YOU let us feel. We will keep supporting you as best as we can. I’ll see wha I can do in terms of word-of-mouth, and in the meantime, you just keep on keeping on, okay? Even if you’re not an Olympic swimmer, you can still stay afloat.
I look forward to your monthly releases so much! 🫂💕 I have been in love with your story as I've been following it over the years, and appreciate every one of your updates especially because I've been following since your first big hiatus and I know how much your dizziness affects you! Every post I can read is a gift, one I know you've struggled through and done your best because of love for what you do and the story you're telling. It might not help (because joining new platforms can be a barrier), but I will share your comic today in some of my discords because I love your comic and really think that there are some people there who would love the vibe of your story and art! You are enough, and you and your story are worthy of love 🫂💕
oh that's so sweet, don't make me cry 🥹💚 i am so grateful for you sharing it with others, i think it's one of the best ways to help creators out!! just telling your friends or in servers where comic readers can find it! thank youuu and i can't believe it's been so long since my first big hiatus, for me it feels like yesterday but at the same time 100 years ago! i'm glad you're still here, in tough times it really helps to know that people see that i need a bit more time for things and then it helps me to calm down as well because i know you have my back 🫂 can't thank you enough for that
I was already reading on tapas and support you here anyway even though i can barely afford it if at all Your work is so important to me and I will never leave. Thank you so much, your story always lifts me a bit out of my deep pit of depression, it means everything to me ❤️
thank you so so much, i appreciate your support and it helps me out a lot! please make sure that you really can afford it though, i wouldn't want you to not be able to pay for basics and i know how tough it is currently for everyone! please take care of yourself too!! and please always know that your support is helping even if it's not financial, reading and just staying (and giving me emotional support like you just did) is more than enough! 💕 and i'm also sorry to hear you're struggling with depression, i can relate to that as well and i'm glad it can help you in that regard. sometimes we just need something to hold onto and knowing that you need it makes me want to give my absolute best for you as well! thank you 🫂
I really appreciate the time and effort you put into telling the boys' story and making the art beautiful! 🤗💕 I'll keep beeing excited for every update~
seeing you supporting them and leaving cute comments so often makes me so happy, thank you so much!! i really really appreciate it 🌻💕
I've only been following Ghost lights for about 6 months or so, but i do adore it. I was super excited to wear the pins out today, in the hopes of talking about it more, or to bring it up in conversations since its a unique story. I haven't read much of anything like it that checks all my boxes in terms of art/story/vibes/somewhat furry(i say as a furry and fursuit maker, cuz thats important to me too) The next ep at the episode ends is slowly becoming an internal clock to where i just sort of instinctively know its coming out even with notifications for this webtoon on. Its an odd occurrence that webtoons decided that change the rating out of the blue, it shows up as M for me, but i read M comics so i didn't really change anything, for me personally, as a reader. Theres something empowering knowing how hard you work to make it exist through your struggles and gives me hope in many ways. i've made an effort to give it Superlikes each ep when they come out, and i don't do that for like 90% of the webtoons i like/read, it feels like the right thing to do. You work so hard on it and I also want it to exist. Its impressive that its 10 years old, and thats an achievement worth being proud of. Pacing be damned, it takes as long as it takes. I will continue waiting for it, rereading it, looking at all the lovely details of something truly unique that I adore.
thank you so much for your kind words 🐺💚 just thinking about you wearing the pins out makes me incredibly happy! and i would absolutely love to see your fursuit AND the fursuits you're making! do you have IG/bluesky or somewhere where you post it? i noticed that i have quite the amount of furries in my readerbase and i think that's awesome~ i think you really might like my next comic project too (werewolf + monsterfucker topics) also i'm very grateful for the superlikes and all the support you're showing! and knowing that it's getting appreciated makes me very motivated and hopeful to continue, thank you deerly 🌻
All these corporations suck so much, take care! I'm not a big fan reading comics on their platforms at all, I hope you'll find a new home for ghostlight eventually - free from their chains. I also still have the print of the first volume and really hope that someday it's possible to have them all irl <3
you have the first volume?? oh that makes me so happy aaaa 🥹💕 i hope i can get all of the volumes printed one day, it's been on my "wanna do" list for so long! thank you for your kind words and your support, it really means so much to me to know that you are here and i can't wait to show you where the next scenes are going 🦌🐺
I highly doubt I've been around for the full 10 years but I have been here for sometime now, and much longer following on webtoons & now mainly on Tapas (& here of course). I think i speak for most of us when I say that we love our boys & we love you & webtoons can go to hell. You just take all the time you need, I for one am not going anywhere.
thank you so much, Sandra! I have been seeing you in my notifications for a long time and I'm so glad to know that you want to stay too. I don't have the right words to express it really, but I feel like it's going to be okay, just knowing that there are people who have been there for a longer time and are still interested in this story and want to see how it's going to end 💚💚💚 so grateful to have you as a reader
I recently lost my job of 8 years to AI and I'm starting to cut costs. One of the things I had to examine was my patron subs, I had 13 and went down to 4. I never questioned if this would be one of them, I care so much about this journey and your boys. I dream of doing what you're doing, but I see how cruel the industry is and how you're feeling is how I already feel, and I know I'm not a good fit for that environment. People like us aren't meant for deadlines and vitality. We're meant for art and expression, and sometimes good art takes time to tell. Everything you said here is relatable, and I hope you know so many people are angry about this system alongside you. You could update once every 2 months and I'd still stay until I was literally out of money. And if it matters at all, I'm subbed to you on all platforms but I read the comics here when you drop them. If it would help you to have us read the episode on the platforms as well I'm happy to do so! Sending so much love your way, the world can feel so incredibly unkind for people not made for the rat race, but I think the world is so much better for having people like us in it. 💜
Oh sunshine! I am so sorry you are going thru all this. I absolutely love your comic, which is why I read it here, and on webtoon and tapas - where I like each episode to hopefully help get you the traction you deserve. And I am more than okay with your pace! You do you boo, we'll all be here! Onto another serious topic 🫤 - I suffer/suffered from a life altering illness that changed me for life. My advice is to focus on your new normal and embrace it. Also to practice patience and giving yourself grace. You are doing the best you can and you are doing absolutely fabulous at that! Keep smashing it and being the inspiration you are. Shine on Sunshine! ❤️
you calling me sunshine makes me so happy (like i get a bit shy about it, but in a giddy way), so thank you!! YOU and your message feel like sunshine and I'm so grateful for your support. You even are going through each episode, that's honestly so sweet and it does help soso much 🥹💕 and I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, I wish I could give you the biggest hug (like 3 hours at a time or so and not letting go) ! it's so difficult to even explain it to people who have never had those experiences, so let me just say I'm so incredibly proud of you 🌻 embracing and thriving, i want to do that as well. thank you for your kind and inspiring words, i really needed to hear all of this (and if you ever need someone to talk about it, please feel free to send me a DM!)
Reading this made me so sad, to the point I got teary. 🥺 It shows all the pressure and ugliness of the webtoon industry. You seem to have such a gentle soul and your creativity is astounding, so I'm just like nooo! Don't hurt this beautiful author, stupid universe! Ughhh! I'm sorry things got so hard. I'm sending a virtual hug if you like them. In case you do not, I'm sending positive vibes as sparkles your way. ✨✨✨✨✨ I mean this with utmost sincerity: YOUR PACE IS OUR PACE! The joy/angst/excitement/awe reading your story provides is always worth the wait to me – no matter how long. I feel privileged and grateful I get to read it. And I welcome it however you wish to tell it and share it and whenever you publish it. It is YOURS, and I'm here for YOUR story (well on Tapas hehehe). Sometimes, I can go months (even a year or more) without reading a series, so I can read many episodes at once. I have been doing this with Ghost Lights and I was about to resume reading it. I will start again in the next few days for sure, especially after reading this post. I find your work moving, deep, detailed, stunning and captivating both story-wise and art-wise. I could never forget about your characters and their story. ❤️ The world building is so incredible too! I saw today on Tapas that Ghost Lights was one of the series curated in the Community Staff Picks. I actually felt a smidge proud because I've been following it for years now. I was like “Come on people, time to discover this gem!” Thank you for sharing Ghost Lights with us, truly. I cherish it. 💖💖💖 P.S.: You're a lovely snail. You should be proud of what you've created.
Reading this hurts my heart. I'm so sorry you feel like this Fanta, especially when you're already dealing with so much. I feel overwhelmed for you. It is frustrating, and overwhelming and scary. And you're right to be angry and frustrated. But everything will be fine. Between us readers and fellow creatives, there has to be away to help support, and re-energise the comics popularity and franchise ot will create. But please just be yourself, and tell YOUR story, the way you want. I like everything about the way you've done the story so far, if I was a slower burn, more creepy, more complicated, I'd sell you my kidney and sadly I don't find enough authors who stay true to craft. The 15k or 500 is enough to help you trailblaze. The circumstances will align. And as someone who always recommends Ghost Lights, I will always be waiting for more.
Anyone who takes issue with your story, how you write, how you draw YOUR boys or how much effort you put unto it, can go fuck themselves. Your story is one of the most unique and interesting ones I have ever read (also I just don't know how it's supposed to be problematic?). I might not he good enough at finding and reading your the bread crumps you're leaving correctly, but I still am, and always have been, so stoked when I got an update notification. Your comic is something that left an impact on me. Over the years it has sometimes randomly popped into my mind, making me think about the first bunch of chapters, how everything began and where it could go for hours. I love your art and your stlye, it's so cool and interesting. In general your comic and it's story hit a very specific sweet spot for me that I didn't know I have. As an artist myself and someone who just loves to experience art, I'll keep my fingers crossed so your recovery will go as smoothly as possible. You are not a failure, you are a fighter and an inspiration! In so many ways. That is something you can truly be proud of. You are more than good enough! Much love from Germany ❤️
Ghost Lights is and forever will be my #1 favorite of all time. If you pack up and go somewhere else im sure a lot of us will be boarding that train right behind you. Hell I got the boys' tattoos back in like what 2021?? Its already been so long lol
Oh Fanta… makes me sad and sick reading this… Webtoon’s policy really scks sometimes, but please, never give up on Ghost Lights! 🙏🏻 Regarding your monthly updates, do you think you could maybe split them up and do bi-monthly updates? Maybe cutting episodes in half can allow you to post more often and to avoid the automatic sort of shadowban by Webtoon? Also, would it help you to promote GL in another language? Would gladly help with French translation if it can help you ❤️ And regarding people who complain, don’t give them too much credits : some people are getting wild on Webtoon (especially in the comment section) : GL is how you decided to make it, don’t change anything for people, we’re many to enjoy the story as it is ❤️ Take care, take some time off if needed, maybe try to chat with Webtoon team regarding some policies too, perhaps they can make changes 🙏🏻 Hope everything will be fine, massive hug! ❤️
To hop off of this, there’s one author I follow who splits the full episode like you’re suggesting and then after both pieces are posted they post the whole thing together which allows them to post three times and show up in the algorithm more. There’s also another author who posts one page at a time if you really wanted to break it up
How could I ever forget you or your boys? What you're doing is amazing. I wish I could talk to you, ask you some questions because you're so inspiring. I'm sorry about this situation on the Webtoon app. I wish you peaceful art making and joy. Love you, love your art, love your boys, love your story
I admire your determination. I've always struggled with following through on my own hopes and dreams, especially at my snail pace. So to see someone else produce such high quality work over such a long time is really inspiring. I lament the state in which we creators must flounder for a chance to thrive. Platforms and their ever changing policies are constantly presenting challenges that ought not need to exist in the first place. Yet, we either let them win or push through. Whatever ends up happening, I sincerely hope you and your Fandom dominate the field in the end. Know that your mere existence is an encouragement to mine.
I honestly hate that this is happening to you 😭 I love your art style and comic so much and been a fan form the start of it! I'm so happy and grateful you're still around and making such beautiful artwork. I'm so happy I can support you here for the last 6 years now and I won't stop! I will always set the funds aside to make sure no matter what! I'll make sure I keep up with supporting you on all the platforms I can! But always make sure your health comes first too! I know I won't be going anywhere and I'm excited to keep seeing how the boys/story will grow!! 💖
Please don't ever stop being so amazing!!
aughh thank you so so much! i won't give up on the comic ever because i know you're here 🥹💚
I wish I could do something about the app and algorithm stuff because I completely understand feeling like the world isn’t made for how you need to navigate it and you should be able to do what you want at the pace you feel comfortable without the pressure to “be better.” I am right there with you in that frustration. It’s not much, but all I *can* tell you is that I absolutely adore your boys and drop everything to read each update when it pops up. I recommend it to all my friends. I would rather be patient for this thing I love than read a hundred comics that are frequently updated but have half the love and care you have for your characters and story. Good things are worth waiting for and I’ll be here as long as it takes to see it through. Thank you for your hard work in spite of the hurdles and the difficult webcomic world we find ourselves in. ❤️
you can't even imagine how much this means to me, thank you x1000 💚🦌 thank you for loving them and thank you for even recommending it to your friends and for waiting and for your excitement and for being here and giving me so many encouraging words 🌻 i'm truly so thankful to have you as my reader and knowing this will help me so much to continue the story going forward! PS. i love your profile pic, it's so cute !!
Yo, so mini rant that (idk) might bring some much needed, directed rage in a time of self loathing. Short story: Boss got cancer>Felt too guilty taking time to get diagnoses>boss died>diagnoses bad. In 2019 I officially gave up on my own webtoon. Last year, low pressure, I picked it back up as I practice thing. Drew with rough pen on paper, didnt use a ruler, no pencil outlines, didnt have a scanner so I took pictures and uploaded to Webtoon. Got an email two days later about how the description would make it mature and then another one offering promotional material. Think I uploaded 4-6 pages before giving up again. ANYWAY, before I uploaded to Webtoon, I was doing TikTok uploads just to see if I could even stick with it for a full chapter. I DID. Not uploaded to Webtoon, but its on the tikytok. TikToks not any better with their promotional shit, especially recently, but I have people there who WANT to read. Low views, but a fantastic view to like ratio, and viewing time stats. Now, I've set the stage. Here's where we can redirect that rage and you already kinda have. Those Webtoon emails INFURIATED me. Especially since I already had a failed webtoon on their platform that they never pushed (also one that *teehee* they never let me shut down because they wouldn't give me my old account back). So, man, I let that spite burn, and burn, and burn and it lit a fire in me that said, "You know what, fuck you and your capitalistic, predatory practices. I'll do this shit myself because YOU are incompetent." Im not the artist you are. I loved your style so much, for a long time I chased after your work. I've learned in the years since that its just not for me, but that doesn't discredit your inspiration. No corpo piece of shit gets to decide that you aren't standing at the top JUST because that would mean you're above them. Dude, your story is probably one of the more complex romances on that illiterate app. They made generic stories so popular that any deeper thought gets lost because its so LOUD. I mean, look at their homepage. Pretty color, pretty characters, monkey brain ignite. But there are thinkers there, I KNOW there are. And when we scrape past that surface level bullshit, we remember where the gold is. Stories like yours with depth. Stories like yours that set the stage before slamming us with endless chatter that describes what could have been shown. Stories like yours that understand human interactions and aren't so weird and awkward because the author wanted an aesthetic and not a person. See? I babble too. So be angry, in my opinion, everyone needs to every now and again. But never at yourself, babes. There is an enemy, and they are out of touch. Not out of reach. We got you boo.
honestly thank you so so much for your rage and the way you wrote all of this! when i first read your message it made me feel so many emotions at once, anger and sadness and i had to laugh about the way you decribed things too! absolutely loved every word you said, and I want to thank you for sharing it all with me. I admire your strength just as much, I'm so proud of you for not giving up and finding your own way of doing things!! I have repeated "they are out of touch. not out of reach." so often in my mind the past two weeks, so thank you so incredibly much for giving me this nugget of encouragement that i can use going forward !! 🌻 the fire sure is ignited
Im sorry things are the way they are, this world sure is a hell hole, but this world you created with our boys has been and always will be my favorite, and I'll be here till the end of their story, and hopefully even till the end of your next one. I believe in you, you've made it so far, don't forget! I remember that it was because of you that I signed up for twitter during your hiatus on webtoon back in...2020? 2021? Just to make sure you were okay, and now I'm so happy to be able to support you with my adult money. It's okay to cry now and it's okay if it's all overwhelming, but we'll all be here whenever you need. And don't be afraid to ask for help! You truly deserve the best and I can't wait to see what happens to our boys next... And to see how it aligns with my old theories haha. Love you so much my friend we can do this I promise. (And fuck corporations)
With stories that take a lot of time to update/frequent breaks/short chapters, a lot of readers wait for chapters to build up so that they can binge them because they don't like to be left waiting. :( It's an unfortunate sad truth.
I absolutely adore binge reading stories myself, so I absolutely get it!! I think Ghost Lights works really well for binge reading and I wish my readers could do it without other consequences. I'm never criticizing my readers about this, in fact I absolutely love whenever I see someone going through the older scenes in one go and liking everything 🥹 It's a complete flaw in the current system and is basically another way of saying: readers have the attention span of 6 seconds. which I find insulting, because it's not true! I wish they would just let people read stuff in one go and let it count towards creator's visibility as well 🐭
I've been reading ghost lights since I was in high school and now I'm almost 24. I've read countless webcomics atp and ghost lights continues to be one of my favorites; hell, I even recommended it to a friend recently bc I wanted to do a duo cosplay one day w them!!! got the pins recently and they sit proudly on my con bag😌 it's always the best stories that take so, so long to come out but I am 100% ok with that bc I know that time turns into the most quality, in depth, meaningful story/imagery that always keeps me coming back. I absolutely adore your boys and your story so much, and get all giddy and excited with each months upload. I've been so heartbroken by all the artists on webtoons who've been fucked over by corporate, and anything I can do to help I will and have been doing<3 I'm here for the long haul!!!
I started following the series when a was a young little tween, and honestly it has helped me so much. I'm such a big fan and though my situation changes and I can't always be a paying member, I'll always support you. I know it's probably a vent post but no matter what you do you'll always have my support. Don't be so hard on yourself, life sucks and these stupid cooperations shouldn't have the ability to control your feelings even if they can control everything else. Believing in yourself is the biggest protest and even when you can't believe in you we will. I'll always give you my full support because your journey has helped me so much too. Anyways sorry for being a sap but your work will always be important to me. Much love <3
It’s been what… six years, I think, since long covid changed my life immeasurably. Took a long time to learn how give myself the grace to go at my own pace, and not measure myself by how others are doing. And I’m still learning. It’s funny, in a way: was asking my therapist about this, how find the balance between work and self care. And she said somewhere powerful to me: There is no ‘between’. You take care of yourself so that you can do the rest. And when you need rest, you take it. Otherwise, you break. And self-repair is much, much, harder, than a few days recovery. You and I were both raised during the height of being ‘productive’ and industrious. And while that may have instilled in us a certain level of discipline, it also invites self-punishment. Storytellers move hearts to change minds. And they do so with love, ideally. So when you’re feeling lost, I invite you to seek out what you love most about what you do 😁 Also: 🤗
thank you so much, J 💚 your words are always coming from such depth and I'm so sorry that you have been going through so much! I admire your strength, long covid is horrible and I wish more people would be aware of the effects of it all. I hope every day is getting a little easier for you, I'm so proud of you for hanging on and growing through it 🌻 And thank you for sharing your therapist's wisdom with me 💕 i've come to learn that rest is essential and i need it like i need air. still working on the self compassion thing, but I know we both got this!! 🫂 please feel hugged big time too
There’s been too many heartbreaking posts like these from artists & creators, and readers, in these last few years, it’s so incredibly frustrating to watch these big companies like webtoons syphon everything they can out of stories & art, like it’s a walmart product… or sugarcoating everything until there’s no soul left… just like others here, I’ll be here as long as you still enjoy publishing your incredible story!! 🫂
thank you so much, it honestly means the world to me that there are people who appreciate works that are a bit more detailed and unique!! I'm pretty sure that other indie creators feel the same, you guys are a lifeline and the reason we can keep going 🥹 and I'm so grateful to have you as a reader and knowing that you'll stay makes me want to give my absolute best going forward too! i can't wait to show you all of the new scenes 💕
This story will apways have a special place in my heart and I'll keep supporting until I can't anymore!! You were the first person I ever supported on Patreon and the boys and the story you tell are so dear to me! I'm usually bad with words, but I wanted to tell you how much this all means to me! We hate algorithms in this house.💜💜💜💜
Your story is just perfect the way is it. Not an easy read, quick forget story. It is a story you want to read from the beginning again and again. And it is because of who you are that the story can be soooo great. Not to mention the drawings... Don't blame yourself, be proud of your talent and thank you so much for sharing it with us.
webtoons has been screwing canvas authors/artists over the last few years and readers with their weird UI changes and I could go on and on and on. I've been a fan of GL since day one and have been reading without an account for the past 2 years because I got so fed up with the app and the UI and the push for AI slop and their ads. And now I'm one of those who got slapped with "This comic is rated Mature" and wants me to log in to view. (fuck that noise, uBlock element zapper gets rid of that log in wall but has to be used for each episode). I totally get your frustration and I have no clue as to why WT suddenly slapped a M rating on your comic. An AI probably thinks all that red droopy stuff from the recent episode is blood. And AI is stupid in that regard. I'll gladly hop over to Tapas if that's an option.
I also want to add that I am a chronically ill and disabled reader as well and was completely star struck when I learned that author/artist for GL is also a spoonie (if you don't know Spoon Theory, I can explain or a quick search will pull it up). I ain't going away any time soon. You could drop off the webs for 6 months because of a flare up and I'd be here, concerned, asking the universe to make sure you're okay, and hoping you'd come back some day. I followed another comic by another spoonie who dropped off the map some years ago and I still think about them from time to time, hoping they're okay.
My dear fellow human bean, so mamy of us wait with baited breath every month to see your boys again. I wish I could do you better than encouraging words.
your kind words are exactly what i need 💚 and knowing that you will wait for them! thank you soso much 🥹
I very rarely comment but I wanted to say that I have followed you in some way or form for a long time. Not quite 10 years, but close. I have always appreciated the clear effort you put in what you make. I just received my pins 2 days ago and they make me smile. I have put them up on my pin board above my desk so that I see them every day. The corporate overlords suck soooo much! For everyone, but especially for people with disabilities. I recently had to take months off of work for mental health reasons because the corporate overlords asked for too much for too long and I cracked. Although it's not not exactly the same, I get feeling shame, feeling like "I'm not enough". I'm trying my best to remember that they only take, take until there is no more to give and then they move on to the next target. You are a number to them but you aren't a number to your readers. You aren't a number to me. I see your update pop up and I smile. Even if I have to go back to remember where the story was, that's okay. Also, as someone who also has limited capacity, the pace that the algorithm demands is too fast for me to keep up with too. So don't lose heart and keep loving your boys. It really shows in your art how much you care and I love that about your art. ❤️ P.S. Apologies for being so rambly :P I'm not used to commenting and I'm a yapper by nature.
i absolutely love your rambly comment 💕 thank you for taking the time to tell me about your situation too!! it really means a lot to me and i'm so sorry that you have to go through something similar! i hope you get to take enough time to rest, i left my corporate job in 2014 because of burnout (oh the irony) so i totally understand your situation. they are cruel and no one should get treated that way and it makes me so upset it happens to you currently. please feel hugged big time 💚🐌 but also i don't feel so alone when i hear this, they really just take and take until there's nothing left, no matter your job. i never see my readers as numbers, and i refuse to do so, you aren't a number to me either!! which is why it makes me so sad that the algorithm tries to force me to. the algorithm makes me feel a little "foolish" for wanting to prioritize my readers' experience, which is so backwards i don't even know how to describe it. i just hope to connect with people and share my boys with them and if i can reach the right ones that is more than enough! thank you so much for being here and for cheering me up (and for getting the pins!! yippie 🥹)
Oh my god, I feel this. I am so lucky that I am recovering but the pace feels glacial and it''s so hard to stay positive. I hear you and I feel for you. Sadly I can't offer any useful of save advice all I can do is tell you how much I love Ghost Lights. The story and the art work feels fresh and different. I feel the love and care you give every panel when I'm reading it. I hope you manage to finish it at you're own pace and are able to be kind to yourself. Also webtoons sucks ass. Sending all the virtual hugs 💜
right? it is sometimes so difficult to stay hopeful, because the "what ifs" keep swirling around and then you get that weird sinking feeling in your chest. but i DO hope that you stay hopeful and do not give up, we both can do it and i want to believe so hard in it!! i'm happy to hear you're in recovery. brighter days are possible 💕🐌 please accept a big hug from me as well! and it helps me so much to hear that you love my boys and that you enjoy the story (and even can sense my big feelings i put in there hhehe). thank you so so much for taking the time to write this (i know how hard it is to sometimes even type things) i appreciate you so so much 💚
I used to be super into webtoon, but exactly what you're going through has happened to so many of my favorite artists/authors. Ghost Lights is the one that I look forward to every month and the one I still read on the app, even though I also see it here. I want it to exist so badly, just like you!! Even if you've barely scratched the surface of all the story you want to tell, it already means so much to me, and so many of your readers. The corporations are incredibly cruel and driven by profit, not meaning or art. We want you to keep doing what you love! We think you're not only good enough, but amazing!! Always looking forward to what you create. <3
thank you so much for saying all of this, it honestly means the world to me to know that you look forward to them and that the story means something to you too!! i want the story to be able to connect to others and the biggest reward for me is to see the reactions of my readers and their excitement, and seeing yours makes me so happy! thank you for cheering me up 🌻🐌 i'm forever grateful
Honestly I feel horrible that this is happening to you cause I have loved this comic for so long and I always think about the impact this has had on me especially with representation and just the raw emotion. Take time for yourself and remember you have readers and fans who love your story and the boys, I will always be here to watch this story grow 💗
thank you so so much for being there, Rose🌹! just knowing that it has had impact on you is cheering me up immensely and it makes me want to continue even more now 💕 your words and support mean so much to me
Been a fan since day one and im not going anywhere! Ill make sure to support on as many platforms as I can 💜 I still treasure the first volume bundle you sent me, even the little wrapper of the haribo gummies that was included as part of it (it was cute and touching). Love this story so much so thank you for continuing to bring it to life for us. 💜 here for you!
even with the wrapper still there!! that's so damn cute i can't even tell you how much this makes me want to cry 💚💚💚 that you still treasure it and the fact that you want to continue supporting even now is so wonderful to know! i seriously needed to hear all of this, thank you sosoSO much🌻🦌