🦄 I volunteered at a little food place. -- [10/4] 🕒 PENDING: Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter.
🙀 A few nights ago, kitty went knocking over something on my desk in the middle of the night and it woke me up in a panic thinking she knocked over my computer, and somehow I managed to injure my shoulder, so my impromptu first day was not as comfortable as I hoped it would be.
☆// ⋆ DAY #1 (10/2) - THEY OFFERED TO GIF ME MONEY:
I said okay. It's whatever they can afford to, but if "whatever they can afford to" is at least enough for me to get my own internet, then that's one SKULL 💀 removed from the SKULL THRONE.
Internet means efficient modding, but it also means that I can resume some of my "computer-based" work like repairs and maintenance, etc., and if I can do that and actually generate some money, then I can maybe remove another SKULL 💀 from the SKULL THRONE.
I have too many SKULLS 💀 on the SKULL THRONE right now.
There isn't much more to say about it... or maybe I'm just plum tuckered out and my brain ain't fully functioning, which I'm sure is a relief to someone. 😹
I'm not that plum tuckered out. 👹
Anyway! I should take a nap while I put the game to update.
The world isn't on fire is it?
There was that little thing about Donald Trump instructing the military to use "full force" against U.S. citizens in defense of ICE [🌐].
That link is for "Trump Social". You can read that one direct from the horse's mouth.
I'm never that plum tuckered out. 👹
☆// ⋆ DAY #2 (10/3) - THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME S-:
Is it weird that I am who I am and I listen to Eminem?
I grew up listening to the likes of Linkin Park and Eminem (I listen to most genres of music).
I don't support any of Linkin Park's new music because their front-woman is allegedly a Scientologist, and I don't !@#$ with Scientologists.
Meanwhile Eminem adopted his ex's kid after the kid's biological father died, and he also adopted his ex's sister's kid after she [the sister] died, and one of those two kids came out as genderfluid, and unlike Jackie Chan disowning one of his kids for being LGBTQIA+, I ain't heard yet that Eminem is a piece of !@#$ father.
Does it excuse any of the other !@#$ he's done in his life? No, but I respect Eminem more than Linkin Park right now with the Scientology. I don't care that they ain't promoting it. I do not !@#$ with Scientologists.
I will still watch a Tom Cruise movie (on the rare occasion), but I ain't ever gon' forget that he's the biggest name in Scientology - or what Scientology keeps popping up in the news for.
Also, that song "Cleanin' Out My Closet"...
🎙️🔞 [YouTube] Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me, Ma? So you could try to justify the way you treated me, Ma?
Mine don't make me CDs, but she has wrote many letters - nasty letters - over the years, trying to gaslight me and justify her behavior. It used to work. It don't work no more.
The last one was 2023. I didn't read it. The previous one was... 2021? I tore that one up after reading the first paragraph and told her, to her face as I threw it in the bin next to her, to don't ever write me another letter like that unless she can acknowledge her own behavior.
There's more of that song that's real for me.
Eminem helped me on my journey to see my mother for what she is.
For all the things I've told you, you've only read a piece of my story.
The anger and disdain I have for my parents is not unjustified.
That (rational, not irrational) anger legitimately saved my life.
I don't recommend it. It's not healthy. But it sure !@#$in' works.
If anger is all you have, then embrace it.
Be angry.
Do not give in.
Do not let them take the last thing that you have that is yours, a.k.a. your life.
Your life is yours.
It doesn't belong to anyone - not your abusive parents, or your abusive significant other, or any god that can't be bothered to give a !@#$.
And no, I'm not an anti-theist because I'm angry at any god for not helping me. I am curious about the "plan" though, since I keep hearing there's supposed to be one for each and every one of us. I like to joke sometimes that I must have been Adolf Hitler in my last life - or at least a Nazi foot-soldier - to get the hand I've been dealt. It's funny. You can laugh. 😹
The thing about embracing anger to survive abuse is that you need to develop self awareness and self control, and a good helping of integrity. You need to be able to acknowledge when you're inching towards the edge and to be able to restrain yourself immediately, and to know when you're being irrational and to be able to stop yourself immediately.
I don't get the luxury of doing the !@#$ that some folks like to do, where they do and say things in anger and then apologize profusely for it.
For one, I know that if I were to "trip off" on someone in anger, that it would probably be bad.
There are numerous people in the world who are fine with the idea of inflicting irrational and unjustified violence against others, but I am not one of them, despite being accused of being no better than Charlie Kirk's murderer - for pointing out the obvious calls for violence from "right-wing" individuals immediately following his murder.
For the other, I don't accept that folks can't argue without trying to emotionally hurt each other. I think that's a level of toxicity that folks have control over but choose not to in the moment, and I think that if you're at the point where you're actively trying to do that, then you should part ways.
My ex was right to break up with me, because I was not a good person during the latter part of our relationship. Looking back, I hope she did it because she was mature enough to see that our relationship wasn't healthy for either of us, and not because someone manipulated her into it under false pretenses - as in "dump him and get with me instead (even though I ain't no better)", which is so often the case. I know very little of her life after me, but I hope she's doing well - genuinely well, because since then, I've known or read of too many women who got out of one bad relationship only to then end up in another that was just as bad, or worse.
I know it happens to men too, but uh... we don't like to talk about our problems, so how the !@#$ do we expect anyone to know what we're going through?! 😹
"Women should talk about men's abuse too!" !@#$ing talk about it yourself, dip!@#$! 😹
Most of the times I've heard men talk about "men's issues", it's usually in response to someone talking about "women's issues", and it's always in a "but women abuse men too!!!" way - kinda like "not all men are rapists!!!!11111111". It's like they don't really give a !@#$, they just want to diminish "women's issues". The topic comes up, then it goes away again until "women's issues" comes up again.
Is why I have such an attitude towards men in general.
Stop telling everyone else to talk about your !@#$ing problems, and talk about it yourself.
Dip!@#$. 😹
Who knows, maybe men would talk about their "issues" more if we didn't victim-blame victims/survivors so much, or harbor so much bigotry towards "implied homosexuality" (in the case of male-on-male sexual violence), but y'know, it's men, the patriarchy, and religion that are to blame for all of that, innit.
We create our own problems, we create the stigma around men with those problems, then those men have no way to navigate it, so we antagonize and gaslight women into talking about our problems for us 😹, while claiming we're the superior sex, because "God"! 😹
It's legitimately some of the dumbest !@#$ I've ever had the displeasure of listening to.
We need to dismantle toxic masculinity, and if religion won't help, then it needs to step aside.
I TIGRESS! 🐯
I got paid today... on my second day, which is weird, but skipping to the point, even if it's a weekly or fortnightly thing, if I get as much as I got today, then internet is in the bag.
I have two options for internet:
Fibre Broadband which starts at (400) TTD, which is around (60) USD.
150 Kbps ~ 500 Kbps with a wireless device, which is around (30) USD.
I got paid (15) USD for work I volunteered to do. That's (100) TTD.
If I can't get to #1, I'll take #2 because it'll still be mine with only me using it, which means it'll be reliable and more consistent than the 20 Kbps ~ 900 Kbps I'm currently fighting with.
It's nice to have money again. Holy !@#$.
(100) TTD doesn't actually do anything on it's own, but I'm putting it aside.
I'm kitchen staff... more or less, which is a far cry from the "computer-based" work I'm self-trained to do, but is fine.
I have been employed by two "computer-based" companies, and I resigned from one after a few months, and was fired from the other after like... was it almost two years?
It wasn't because of my "controversial" views either!
You'll have to just believe that I'm not lying through my arse right now.
The first one was owned and ran by two very immature adults - a husband and wife - and I don't mean "immature" like sex jokes, I mean refusing to have meetings with all of the employees together and instead talking to them individually and talking !@#$ about each of the other employees with each of the other employees. 😹
It was unprofessional as !@#$.
Furthermore - and I'm not under any Non-Disclosure Agreements - they couldn't pay a salary on time, and more importantly, there was this incident involving law enforcement at a location that the company had "done some work on" before I was employed with them, and it turned out that the crew half-arsed the job, and therefore there was no CCTV footage for law enforcement to review, and the only reason the company didn't get in trouble was because the owner knew the client and "smoothed it over", and I assume that was only possible because the incident didn't involve the client personally.
As a result, I recommended we go through the work orders and "provide free followup maintenance" to verify that the other locations weren't also half-arsed, and I was ignored by management. Then like a week or two later, one of my colleagues tells me that they were told privately by management, to go do exactly what I said we should do.
Everything combined just led to me resigning because I decided that I wasn't about to be anyone's patsy. If I am to get in trouble with the law, it has to be for something I did. I ain't going down for nobody - at least not in that way. 😹
The second place was the same !@#$. My employer was taking the money that clients were down-paying on items with, and using it for his side hustle, then not replacing it, leading to irate clients demanding their money back and threatening to involve law enforcement.
In this case, I did something that I knew was wrong. Instead of notifying my employer about down-payments for items, I kept the money aside, bought the item when the client had finished paying for it (if we didn't have it in stock), and gave it to them. I knew it was wrong and I knew it would bite me in the arse one day, and it did, and I was fired, and I was accused of "embezzling", by my former employer.
He of course didn't involve the police, he just ran his mouth, because if he involved the police, he'd then have to call on all the clients who, by my actions, got what they paid for, and then the other clients who he !@#$ed up with might have been called on to say something.
Where business and consumer rights is concerned, I am so !@#$ing "WoKe", that I willingly toss my own self-preservation out the window to ensure that people aren't being taken advantage of. I could have kept my head down and just collected a paycheck and "whatever happens, happens", but I'm not wired that way.
Somepony save me, from myself! 😹
Neither of those incidents are the reason I'm unemployed by the way.
Following the firing, I tried to start my own business, doing all the things I knew I could do with less corruption and less anti-consumerism than the people I had worked for were doing.
But that's a story for another day.
Let's do some modding! The internet is working right now.
☆// ⋆ DAY #3 (10/4) -- LET ME SHOW YOU THE POWER OF-:
... a toxic narcissist parent who is hell-bent on ruining both of their children's lives.
We'll continue this one a little later.
The internet is stable, so I'm gonna finalize the EP20 CASO, maybe finalize EP16 CASO, then we'll do this, and then if I have the energy we'll do some CAS Filters.
Tomorrow is a short day. I'll be back by midday, so we'll have time to maybe finish the EP16 BUGFIX, do the SGFX updates, and continue CAS Filters (if the internet permits) - I can only CAS Filters when the internet is working because I need to research everyone.
☆// ⋆ TBC...
Will I be back?
Sure. 🚁
Maybe we make this post the quintessential "me" post.
I have one in draft that I never published.