Half in the Bag: Rogue One

I would have been excited to see stormtroopers and Vader and Tarkin and whatnot if they were in a good film, the problem is that the fan service is the only thing keeping this turkey afloat - If I cared about Jyn Erso and the heist, and whatnot then I'd be delighted by the other stuff, as long as it was used appropriately. Not sure why they didn't just make Vader the principle Antagonist, then it wouldn't have been a shoehorned in and embarrassing cameo, and would serve the story. Likewise if they had just replaced Krennic with Motti. But Mike's porn analogy is apt, and Rogue One without the lazy fan service would be like a porno without sex

Didn't have high hopes for this movie, but I was bored for most of it. When they went off to the final battle I realized that I didn't feel like anything had happened to lead us there.

I just saw the movie and have to state that the block of advertisements before the movie lasted a whooping 37 Minutes just like this episode.

Does anyone else think the original cut might be significantly better? If Disney thinks there's a demand for the director's cut on home video, we might get to see it. There's certainly precedent for it.

I thought the movie was okay. BTW... I'm a 48 year old fat bearded guy. Keep calling 'em like ya see 'em!

Wow this was verbatim to my reaction to Rogue One - I agree with you guys more often than not but this was 100% the same reaction

It's hard to agree with you guys. The film has its problems, but I wouldn't call it a fan film or bad. I thought it was quite good, though the first half was slow and jumping around a lot, I can appreciate a different tone. Felt more like a war movie than an adventure movie, which like you guys said was different but unlike you guys, I thought it worked.

I thought it was like Guardians of the Galaxy if you take away all the music, all the laughs, all the fun, all the camaraderie, and kill everyone at the end. So... not like Guardians at all.

They made Vader's voice sound off, so when JEJ kicks the bucket they can bring in a new fraud to take his place.

Your comment about this being the best fan film ever made is spot on. Of course, I've watched and made some terrible ones... so it was still pretty great.

I'm just realizing now, as I watch the trailer clips you guys splice in, that there's several shots and lines in there from a still-bald Saw that clearly didn't make it into the final cut. It gives me the feeling that the backstory we so desperately needed for some of these characters is lying on that ol' proverbial cutting room floor. That said, I still disagree with most of you guys' complaints about the film. But your reviews are no less entertaining for it. Whatever are next, keep it up.

I agree'd with most of the complaints. The movie has some strengths. I think the overall plot was fine, especially how it gave answers to the flaw in the Death Star. I just didn't care for most of the characters. I mean even with Donnie Yen, who is always awesome, I didn't really feel anything when he walked out to push the button. The amount of times I said, oh look that guy, or hey it's that place was getting a bit ridiculous by the end. Some fan service moments are fine, but this one was all aboard the fan train. First 30 minutes was a complete mess too. Would have been a lot better to focus only on Jyn's character and her aging at the beginning rather than jumping to 10 different meaningless locations.

I agree'd with most of the complaints. The movie has some strengths. I think the overall plot was fine, especially how it gave answers to the flaw in the Death Star. I just didn't care for most of the characters. I mean even with Donnie Yen, who is always awesome, didn't bother me when he walked out to push the button.

This review is great for me, I wanted everything I got ;). Seriously though, I had very similar feelings while watching this movie, I become not just bored, but frustrated half way through as I knew I was in for more of the same boring shit. It also completely goes against how I and probably a lot of other people envisioned how a rebel spy worked based on how they were talked about that one time in Revenge of the Jedi, they sounded exceptional, sneaky, daring and cunning all wrapped into one, not like these turds who bumble there way into the death star plans. In that regard though you can't please everyone as everyone has likely envisioned this story in a different way.

Yeah the characters were the weak part of the movie but I loved how bleak and depressing it ways. Quite a new look on the Star Wars Universe. I always loved the more serious parts of the original much more than the wacky parts. And come on they killed everybody in this movie. How awesome and daring was that.

Very ouch

Yeah, the movie was pitched by the guy who "ran the computers". I mean, he "ran the computers", how dare he pitch anything. He should just crawl back to the hole he created photoshop in, because again "he ran the computers", and as we all know, people who run computers are the worst. Funny. I've come to expect better from you guys.

I'm hoping they picked a minor story as a test project that they can learn from to do future movies better. I think people will get pissed if the Han Solo movie isn't good

Always like your episodes, gents, but I think you're off the mark on this one. Keeping a consistent world isn't necessarily fan service. If a ton of new ships and walkers appeared, we'd be criticizing them for trying to sell more toys. Star Wars is an enjoyable universe to spend time in. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see the parts of it that make it enjoyable. It's the filmmaker's job to ensure that's in service of the story. For the most part, I think RO does that (some cameos excepted). I'm glad Jay noted the tough situation Disney finds itself in regarding consumer expectations vs. creative freedom. While RO was certainly not without flaws, it was far more inventive than TFA.

Jesus guys, we get it, Star Wars is nothing but a consumerist machine and you're a dumb mouthbreather if you get any enjoyment from it, all right. Now let me watch the movie again, this time with the knowledge of how it's not fun. Should be fun.

THE BEST MOVIE EVER MAAAADE!!!

RLM nailed it again. Thank you boys for vindicating my feelings on this movie.