No Diet November 2025 - 4

Keep your questions and comments coming!

Lazy Beignet Recipe:
Ingredients

• 2 sheets frozen puff pastry (the good all-butter kind – Pepperidge Farm or Dufour if you can find it; accept no substitutes for peak fat content)

• Neutral oil for deep frying (peanut, canola, or vegetable – enough for 3–4 inches in your pot)

• 1 full stick (½ cup) unsalted butter, melted (extra for drizzling – because puff pastry's 80% butter wasn't enough)

• 3–4 cups powdered sugar (we're not measuring; we're committing crimes)

Instructions

1. Thaw the pastry just enough: Take the puff pastry sheets out of the freezer 30–40 minutes before you start (or overnight in the fridge). You want them cold but pliable – still chilly to the touch so the butter layers stay separate and create that insane flake.

2. Cut into squares (or whatever shape your lazy heart desires): Unfold each sheet on a lightly floured surface. Cut into 9 equal squares per sheet (3x3 grid) for classic-ish beignets, or into smaller rectangles/strips if you want more bite-sized sin. No need to be perfect – jagged edges fry up crispier anyway.

3. Heat the oil of doom: Pour oil into a deep, heavy pot or Dutch oven (at least 3–4 inches deep). Heat to 350–370°F (use a thermometer unless you enjoy oil fires). Too low = soggy grease sponges. Too high = charred sadness.

4. Fry these butter demons: Carefully drop 3–4 pieces into the hot oil at a time (don't crowd – they need room to puff like angry marshmallows). Fry 1–2 minutes per side until they're deep golden brown, insanely puffed, and the layers are separating like a glorious butter explosion.

5. Drain for 2 seconds (barely): Fish them out with a spider or slotted spoon and let excess oil drip off onto paper towels. But seriously – only a few seconds. We want them hot and oily for the next step.

6. The grand fattening finale: While screaming-hot, either:

   • Brush/drizzle generously with the melted butter (helps the sugar cling and adds another layer of richness), OR

   • Skip the brush and just dunk them straight into the melted butter bath like the piggy you are.

   Then immediately toss them in a giant bowl (or paper bag) of powdered sugar until they're buried alive in white bliss. Shake, roll, repeat. The hot butter + oil will melt the first layer of sugar into a glossy glaze, then pile on more for that signature snowstorm look.