Green Plum Jam (video)
My house came with two plum trees.
The way it goes is this:
One year they go fuckin' nuts and overproduce plums like whoa. Like, I'm talking: the branches are straining under the weight- it even looks like the trees list to a side more than usual. So they make a gazillion plums and I have a delicious late summer.
Then, the next year, nothing.
No plums.
Rinse and repeat! Boom and bust, baby, It's nature's way.
..............................EXCEPT: it doesn't have to be???
I faux-humbly shared some pictures of my developing plums on the internet because I thought they were pretty (and also I want everyone to be jealous of all the plums I will be eating in the not too distant future) and was swiftly informed by more than one persons that you are not, actually, supposed to let nature proceed without interference from my ham-fisted human hand!
The Internet was quick to inform me that a good fruit tree shepherd thins their fruits so that the tree can devote all of her energy into growing juicier and bigger produce in fewer numbers, rather than a gazillion smaller ones. This also helps her conserve her energy for next season, so she can make a harvest year after year, instead of needing to take that year off between batches.
(Looking at the dates on these photos I just shared, I am realizing that my plum trees are producing two years in a row, so maybe they're not too strict about that schedule. But there definitely have been years with no plums after a year of excessive plums!)
What The Internet People didn't warn me is that picking dozens of perfect, unripe, innocent, baby plums feels a lot like infanticide. (Infruiticide?) I'm sorry, tiny ones! I really hope I didn't pick the ones that were gunna grow up to be the most delicious plums in the history of fruit. I sure hope the ones I spared don't grow up to suck.
Once you've thinned dozens upon dozens of green plums... what do you do with them?
It feels like such a waste to simply compost them, surely they have some redeeming use? I bet our prehistoric ancestors knew what to do with an unripe plum! (this is not innuendo) A number of recipes do exist, it turns out, and the one I decided to try was Green Plum Jam.
There, you are now caught up on everything that transpired before I began recording my video.
About an hour into me pushing unripe plums around in my pot, I recorded my first video and released it onto social media much in the way that a hostage stuffs their plea for help into a bottle and throws it into the ocean with a prayer. And for once, The Internet People were actually pretty helpful??? Each time I tried someone's advice, I'd follow-up with another video- which would also summon even more free counsel. In the end I had the four videos that I have strung together into the one you'll find at the top of this post.
I hope you've enjoyed this culinary journey as much as I did not.
Thank you.
And:
Bon appetite!
Comments (18)
I am terrible at both cooking and gardening, so I am impressed and delighted by your adventures. P.S. A metric cup is 250ml for next time!
Lmaoo omg this is way too relatable 🤣🤣💀
What an incredible saga. I hope you slept well and the plums behaved themselves!
Those look delicious!
😘
'By being a delightful human', is my answer to Matt <3
What a story! I hope you find another way to use the plums that does not involve starting a completely new project at like 10:30 at night 😂
I feel you on the Infruiticide! This is my first year I'm kinda seriously getting into tending my German garden (focusing mainly on sunflowers, tomatoes, courgette and pumpkins) and my heart BROKE for the li'l plants that didn't survive the transition from in- to outdoors! After all those weeks talking to them and encouraging them, I left them all alone to fend for themselves in a cold and hostile garden and they DIED!!! I'm a horrible person!!!!! (crying emoji here)
Dude, yes!! We should start a support group for grieving gardeners 🥀💔
I didn’t know how bad you were at cooking, this was a truly comical little series 🤣🤣 thank you for sharing with us. And I should say a natural part of cooking is failures to learn from, I’ve had a million
Definitely need sugar too!
The directions said to add sugar AFTER the plums were pulpy and Is fished the stones out. I threw it out before I got to that step 😅
I'm looking forward to the 2.0 version of this recipe now that you've learned so much!
I took another bash at it last night! I made… liquid fruit leather?
😂
Note: this for unripe plums, although in can be tweaked for ripe Greengage plums.
Thank you!
Here’s a recipe from the BBC: Green plum jam, also known as greengage or unripe plum jam, is a tart and sweet preserve. To follow the classic method detailed by BBC Good Food, you will need equal weights of fruit (stoned) and granulated sugar, plus a little water, lemon juice, and optionally, a pinch of cinnamon. Good Food +3 Ingredients & Tools Green/Unripe Plums: 1 kg (weighed after pitting/stoning) Granulated Sugar: 1 kg (equal weight to the fruit) Lemon Juice: Juice of 1 lemon (adds acidity to help the jam set) Water: 200 ml Optional: 1 tsp ground cinnamon or a cinnamon stick Good Food +4 Step-by-Step Method Prep the jars: Place 2 to 3 small plates in the freezer for the setting test later. Sterilize your jam jars by washing them in hot, soapy water and placing them in a low oven (about 140°C or 275°F) for 15 minutes. Good Food +1 Soften the fruit: Place the pitted green plums and the 200 ml of water into a large preserving pan or heavy-bottomed pot. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook for about 10–15 minutes until the fruit is tender but not fully disintegrated. Good Food +2 Melt the sugar: Add the sugar, lemon juice, and cinnamon to the softened fruit. Heat gently over a low flame, stirring continuously, until all the sugar crystals have dissolved. Do not let the mixture boil yet. Good Food +1 Boil to setting point: Once the sugar is fully dissolved, increase the heat to a rapid, rolling boil. Boil hard for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently to prevent sticking. Good Food +1 Test the set: Remove the pan from the heat. Spoon a small amount of jam onto one of your chilled plates from the freezer. Wait 1–2 minutes, then push the edge of the jam with your finger. If it wrinkles and doesn't run, it has reached setting point. If it’s too runny, return the pot to a boil for another 2–3 minutes and test again. Good Food Jar and seal: Let the jam sit off the heat for 10–15 minutes. This stops the fruit from sinking to the bottom of the jars. Skim off any foam, carefully ladle into your warm sterilized jars, and seal tightly. Good Food +1