why does love still feel so far?

Helps alot

A wise man once told me that when you’re seeking love- you won’t find it. It only comes to you when you’re not looking, so you shouldnt really be waiting for or expecting something ‘great’ and ‘new’ on the way… or should you? What are your opinions on that?

I have been down so many rabbit holes on this with the many things I have tried. I wish there was something that could guarantee results.

I think it requires both sides be willing to invest in their own well being physically and mentally before moving into it. Men and woman are jumping in with little self awareness and wondering why it is not working out. My own inner work has been around self worth post narcissistic abuse and lack of boundaries as to what I allow into my life. I am keeping aware of societal programming n education and online that I see many woman be captured by. There is a massive hike in superficial reasons to start relationships as the main focus (material, convenience, sexual pleasure, legal abuse, reputation shaming for control). I can empathise with men keeping their distance until the environmental message starts to shift. It is extremely alarming to see statistics of almost half of men overcoming their sexual desire (this is a huge feat for many men!) in their prime no longer desiring a relationship due to the overwhelming outcry online of actual disaster stories. One thing for sure its fascinating time for this topic to see how it is unfolding as a single guy but moving extremely carefully and with great discernment before contemplating a relationship.

Thank you. This feels incredibly timely and resonant. I've been reflecting on a strange pattern in myself: sometimes I unconsciously ask for permission or validation about things I already know in my heart aren't right for me. I now see that I often craft an ideal image of the profound connection I seek and then project it onto someone, trying to make it fit, even when my intuition quietly tells me it's not true. Now, I'm beginning to see that what sometimes felt like a curse – this profound solitude, this sense of lost potential from the past fourteen years – was actually a form of severe mercy. To be completely honest, I've never dated, never really been exposed to that side of life. And I see now that my intuition, this deep sensitivity to the Spirit, has acted as a fierce guardian. It was the Spirit of Truth hurting deep within me, the very ground of my soul saying an unwavering 'no' even when a part of me, my baser human nature, wanted to say 'yes' and give in to what was easy or immediately alluring. It has been a constant, often painful, battle of detaching from the conditioned self, as psychology might put it, to stay true to a deeper knowing. I only truly understood the connection I yearn for after a brief, powerful encounter with a complete stranger. For what felt like an eternity, we held eye contact for a long time without smiling. In that shared, silent gaze, I felt an unexplainable comfort, a profound peace I had never known before. It was like looking into a clear stream, a direct soul-to-soul recognition that bypassed all artifice. That feeling... that is the very essence of the ideal I hold. It's best captured in a simple vision: just sitting quietly under a tree, feeling the soft wind, with sunlight warming my closed eyelids. And beside me, someone so deeply connected, so utterly at peace, that she can lay her head on my shoulder or lap in complete, vulnerable trust. In that shared stillness, I can finally allow my own guard to fall, to feel a profound thankfulness and gratitude towards the Source well up within me, perhaps even shedding a tear or two not of sorrow, but of overwhelming peace, knowing I am understood through a shared feeling that transcends words. This brings me to the deepest realization: a part of me now understands that this perfect, silent union I seek might not be something that should be sought from another person. Perhaps it's simply a beautiful metaphor for our relationship with the Divine. And yet... another part of me, the hopeful human part, knows that the very possibility of such a connection existing between two souls is real, however rare. And just knowing that it's possible fills me with an immense, quiet gratitude. So now, as I feel myself resurfacing after that long solitude, I look out at a world filled with so many passing souls and opportunities, and with no past experience to guide me, I realize I have nothing to trust but my own intuition. That inner compass, that quiet knowing refined through years of solitude and reflection, must be my only guide. All I can do is bide my time with this new sense of clarity, pray more deeply, and continue the journey of becoming the best version of myself.

They say love is a game, but the rules keep changing. 🙄 For me though, it seems like women just want to trade their love for something, not always money, but always something and unless you have and are willing to give/trade them that something in exchange then you are SOL. And when you are trying to offer your love to someone and that’s less than what they’re looking for… 🥺