And I am wondering

Sometimes I still wonder whether you understand what it was like to be beside you.

Whether you understand how close I came to leaving this world.
Almost completely.
Literally.

And I keep asking the universe why.
Why did you bring this into my life?
Why send me something that could kill me?
Something that almost did.

I look for meaning, but some days all I find is another question. Another why, sitting quietly inside me.

And yet, after the storm, after the kind of pain that seems to fill every part of you, beauty somehow returns.

And I can feel it.

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Photos by Francesco Tosi Text

Text by Barbora Aria