Life Update
Hey guys, sorry, this is gonna be a sad one? I don't know...
I never mean to mope around you, I try to be a beacon of sunshine for everyone to enjoy, relax and take your mind off things, but sometimes I just can't even pretend I can muster up a smile.
I've grown fond of my audience, my work, having a meaning in life, if it is making silly audios for people and getting to help them in any way I guess I will take what I've been given and continue on to give the best I can.
But I struggle too, I struggle with mental illness, depression, severe anxiety, borderline personality disorder, it's a whole bunch just trying to get up from bed and do anything, and I'm incredibly ashamed to live like this, but being on the spectrum on top of everything else... I'm sure some of you will understand.
I tried writing a book, was doing pretty well. Then I realized it was a bunch of BS and tried starting over, fresher mind, fresh view on things, and now it's taken me around a month to even get a single word out. I'm studying Japanese hard at an academy, taking my first international exam in June, scared to my core, not studying hard enough or doing anything to get better, just going to class and taking what I can from it...
I just don't think I can put any more effort than I already am.
I'll start streaming on Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week after I upload on Twitch, hoping to get a bit of stress off of my back, hopefully helping someone out there have some company too.
Thanks for reading, I know it's unusual for me to act like a normal human being, but maybe telling you guys a bit of my struggle will help you see everyone is stressed, and everyone is fighting for life.
I love you, please stay safe. <3
-Valerie <3
Comments (22)
I don't quite know how to express my support without it sounding pretentious, hollow or overly familiar. I'm very impressed by your charming scripts, and you writing a book. Even if no one else ever reads it it is further than most ever get. I'm struggling to write this comment 😅 You're still striving to achieve your goals, so long as you don't give up you can always try again. A failure is something one does, not something one is; a fact I wish my own heart could accept. I get how one can logically understand something, but still be unable to believe it. If you're feeling overwhelmed, try to re-center yourself with box breathing. I find walking through some neurolinguistic programming techniques can also help with anxiety. Make yourself an "urgent/important matrix" and de-prioritise accordingly. But please, reach out to your support network, look after yourself, spend time in nature, and be kind to yourself. Love you Val, the world is a darker place without your light in it xoxo
Hope you are able to get some of the weight off your shoulders and know that while you support us all the time with your work, we hope to be able to support you through your tough times as well. Best of luck with both your studies, health and work, I'm certain it will get better.
Life’s hard way too often. But the fact that you tried to put in the effort you did puts you above so many of us who never even tried whether we were scared or just thought we couldn’t do it. Give yourself some grace for trying at all and just keep doing the best you can! We’re rooting for you!
Take care sister, you'll make it through.
Thanks for sharing your struggles, I can imagine that it must be a major load of your back. I think I don't only speak for myself when I say that you have the support of your community. Dial it back if that helps, we're not running away.
Hey, sorry things suck right now, but I'm pulling for you too. I have worked with a lot of people who are and were facing similar challenges. I know this might sound lame, but the book that I have see genuinely help many of them was "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. I very much recommend taking a look at it. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy https://a.co/d/0hQ0TwKA
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We all understand , life can be messed up . We all hide our depression or anxiety in different ways . It’s probably best to have a support group or one real friend to rely on. I hope you have at least that .
Trust me I get it and I do feel for u One step of life at a time I guess, I know that’s lame sounding But seriously the stuff you do is amazing and u should feel proud of that at least I remember struggling with my self hatred in fact I still am And how I felt like I didn’t deserve to feel good or be loved but so many people love and support you Hope you know that
Valerie it's very understandable I understand what you're going through just know that we always got your back and we will always be there for you no matter what We always love you to the very end and we always love your audios If you need anything at all we'll be right here We always love being your friend Your content is amazing you're a positive soul to the very end and I'm sure writing a book is very tough but I think you got this for sure If you need a break that's perfectly fine Your health always comes first and that's understandable and I respect that take care of yourself We'll still be right here for you You are always loved and blessed by all of us
Writing a book is tough. I know people who write good stuff and still aren't satisfied with it. It's like a curse. Having other people read your stuff helps even if it's horrifying to conceive of doing such a thing.
We're just little blurbs on a page or screen, but please remember, each and every one of us who says you've helped us, that you've shown us someone cares, is real. You've helped REAL people, Spring. ((not many people can say that, honestly.)) You have helped tons of us. So every time you have a bit of imposter syndrome (I know because I'm a writer too, and I get it all the time) just remember that fact, please... Regardless HOW you've helped us, you HAVE helped us. I just found you more recently and you've helped me a ton already. I won't get into personal stuff but - yeah. I've got chronic depression from a tbi. it's literally impossible to get over. I can only get through it. and it's day to day at best. Hour to hour at worst. and sometimes I struggle to find something to latch on to, in order to keep me through that day. and silly as it may sound to you, your little videos, the comedic timing, the back and forth between characters - it has helped a LOT, Spring. It makes me feel things other than my overwhelming self loathing. and quite honestly, that takes a lot, to do. So... what I mean to say is.. Thank you,, Spring. for everything you do. I mean it.
No shame in being human and showing your struggles, we’ll definitely support ya! <3
Writing is one of those jobs you never finish because it's done, you only finish because you are forced to stop editing... Just remember you have a small army of people that would stop and listen if you wanted to talk and that you're just as human as the rest of us.
In all seriousness Ms.Spring you aren't the only one dealing with their own struggles whether it's depression, anxiety, etc... and their is a lot of people who can relate, me on the other hand deal with depression as well from time to time, not to mention other things and it's a chore just to get up that day when you simply just don't want to, you aren't alone you have support you need from this community you've made and hopefully you'll get the much needed rest away from all the stress and negative feelings, your content is a joy to listen too continue to do what you do
We've got ya back, broski. Take it easy and one step at a time. And thank you for what you do; it has helped people like me a lot.
We love you, Spring. You’ve put in tremendous effort and continue to do so, and none of it will be in vain. Rest, do what you need to relax, and we’ll be here for you.❤️
You have our support do whatever you need to do for yourself
Honestly thank you, thank you for being vulnerable enough to be open about your life and reminding people like me that we are all human and no one is perfect. I won't give you simple platitudes about all you go through some of wich I can relate to but I will say please continue making what you do its a joy to listen to.
I hope you get the rest you need. Take it easy. And thank you for helping me through the hard times with your content!
you’ve got our support
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