YKS The Mag #25

Hello everyone! Gobble gobble! Just playing. I would never say that in real life. To me, the internet is not real...It’s just a bunch of computer flim-flam and movie reviews from depressed guys. Oh, and spare me the stuff about how, actually, not all the guys who review movies are depressed. They definitely are. I think if you’re not depressed and someone asks what you thought about a movie, you would say “Oh, what? I don’t know. It was ok.” But if you’re depressed you go to a special website that lets you write as many words as you want about lighting and cinematography without exposing it to the rest of the world. Just a big button that says SHRED NOW at the end of every Letterboxd submission page. Mwah. Beautiful.

Anyway it’s almost Halloween Thanksgiving, which means I have been spending the whole day cooking and staring at a recipe and going “Uhhh?” If I didn’t have to look at the fuckin recipes I think cooking would be really fun! But I can’t remember how to do anything, so I have to read this shit while I’m covered in butter and foil. I hate reading when I’m not even covered in butter and foil! So this is worse. But in the end, at least all 4 people in my house will really like the 15 pounds of turkey.

This week on the program, we’ve got some Kickstarters that I think Mike really liked a lot. So since I won’t be “going in” on them in the classic way,  I may just review some Thanksgiving dishes. An even more depressed guy proposition than the movie review...Turkeyboxd. We will think of a better name later.

Bird Buddy - $809,553 of $59,283

Bentoboxd! Just thought of the name. Although I guess Japanese food doesn’t really have anything to do with Thanksgiving. Maybe it should? As much as I like the traditional stuff, I think I would prefer it. For one thing, the portions make more sense. You don’t have to make a 15lb California roll. And if you did, it wouldn’t even be the biggest one ever. Because some dicks made a 500 foot long one a few years ago. Doesn’t that suck? What a massive waste. Makes me feel not quite as bad about throwing out a few moist hunks in 3 or so weeks.

If I ever saw this motherfucker at my door I’d reach for My Damn Gun!!!

Bird Buddy seems really nice. I don’t think it’s nice enough to get $1M+++ and cannot conceive of how they will ever monetize the business, but I also don’t care. There should be more businesses that don’t make money! (Still working on this take.) Plus maybe they’re selling the bird’s personal data on the darkweb. Bunch of credit cards showing up to your birdhouse and the little orange guy in there is looking at you like, whaaaa. That could be really good. And retroactively I declare this worth the $1M+++. Thank you.

Mongz - $35 of $17784

We are all embarrassed while handling face masks when we don't need to wear it on the face. The inconveniences and the unsafe way we all manipulate masks are frustrating, and worse, we forget masks so often ..

Few sample that we face daily:

• Annoyed with mask in the hand, over the arm or dangled at your ear

embarass others by puttting it on the table while having a drink or at restaurant

• Spend our time to forget it and turn back when arriving in a place where masks are mandatory

• Pushed in a pocket or a bag, and so spreading potential contanimating elements all over the pocket or the bag

• Manipulate the face mask against all best practices by touching the filter part each time we remove or put back the mask

Quite possibly the worst name for anything we’ve ever featured on here, and with no apparent reasoning that I can locate on the campaign page. They’re French though, so who knows. They could tell me to my face and I wouldn’t get it.

The idea is sound, though. People think masks are inconvenient. Obviously they won’t stop wearing them just because they’re inconvenient...Ah. Ok, but still.

At least it looks cool to have a piece of plastic jutting up out of your pants all day. And hey now those little kids who chase you around the town putting sticks in your bicycle spokes have a launch point for their water balloons. Get back here you little…!!!

Shotgun Beerbong - $1 of $1,000

Been working on all kinds of projects all my life. Just working a 9-5 trying to strike in on one of these. Strike in? opposite of striking out. Thought to try a kickstarter.

If you have ever had a shotgun. you know its fun. if you have ever hit a beerbong. More Fun. Shotgunning out of a beerbong is an experience to be reckoned with. Blows tha others right out the water. I bring it to the river and you can take one while floting on an inner tube. You can take it to your uncles birthday. Your uncle will be stoked to get one of those for his birthday. I think I may make my uncle take one down on his birthday. Just realized and cant believe i havent made him try it yet. Hes gonna love it.

This guy was so funny. I didn’t realize there was another side to the pathetic serial entrepreneur coin, but there is, and it’s him. Instead of getting hopped up on espresso shots and pretending he’s got a phone case delivery service that’s gonna change the world, this guy just goes full uncle mode and makes some stupid shit he likes. Like I said on the show, I don’t see the need to improve one’s beer-chugging speed, especially in my old age, but I do respect the execution. Guys sure do love cutting some PVC tube to fix a problem.

Uncles get a bad rap for their behavior at holiday dinners. I guess it's funny to beat up on a guy who's the same age as your dad but who you don't have to respect. I said that like I don't think it's funny, but I actually do. Well wouldn't be nice to see your uncle now? Not so annoying now, is he? That old, drunken piece of shit is saying racist Trump guy stuff by himself in his own house, and you don't have to hear it! You're sitting at your table looking at people you like or no one at all (so you can watch TV in peace). Be careful what you wish for. 

Covid China Plate - 2,617 of 11,600 european pounds

The bats made me laugh. The Chinese word for bat is "fu", and the word for happiness also is (similarly) pronounced "fu". So images of bats are seen on door signs at Chinese New Year. And Chinese artists have long used bats in their art to represent special blessings, one of which, ironically, is a peaceful, natural death. So the depiction of them as 'vampiric' ones is priceless. 🦇

Not sure about the M though. 😉

Pledged for a mug, as I figured (correctly) the shipping charge would be higher than for the masks, but would really like a mug and 2 masks. Possible?

Well this person is pretty excited about it. I can’t really follow the metaphor but I think even if I could, the logical end result would probably not be buying a ceramic plate to hang on the wall.

I wonder what will be the prevailing narrative in the future about the Chinese government’s role in the pandemic. Or the States’! Probably pretty truthful, if I had to guess. Now to just check the history books for the straight dope on the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, Vietnam, the LA Riots, the Crusades, etc. That’s all the history stuff I could think of, sorry.

Eternal Sin -  The L.A. Story - $1 of $12,000

When I said the ones this week were good I forgot about this guy. I don’t think his apparent sexual assault apologia is good. To the contrary, I believe it is a worse idea than many of the gizmos and gadgets we regularly feature on the program! Most, even. What a weird freak.

Sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving are weird, huh? There’s so much overlap. You got the casserole, the pie, maybe baked outright. And if you go with the casserole, do you use marshmallows (nasty pig food) or pecans (heaven’s treats) with brown sugar (kitchen bitcoin)? Oh fuck, there’s yams! Is that the same or different? I had to look it up because I accidentally put “yams” on the grocery list when I meant sweet potatoes, and my wife was the one braving the hordes this week at Kroger. So she got yams. That makes sense. That’s why we have the list! By the time I realized what happened I asked her to head back into produce to grab the SPs but it was a no-go zone. So tomorrow when I chop these things up, are they gonna be worth a damn? Or are they gonna be some weird purple goopy shit from an Alien egg? Only one way to find out: spend hours cooking them and then be the only person eating the shit. Could be fun.

PetGear & ZooGear - $1 of $11856

PetGear is a subcutaneous Chip addressed to animal use for pets that allows the owner to check the health status and location of their pet through an App or the dedicated internet portal.

There is no minimum or maximum number of PetGears that can be synchronized on your App or on your Portal.

Each PetGear will be part of a list of Pet Accounts.

Each animal Account can be renamed, photos and notes about that specific animal can be added.

The software will allow you to select favorites from Animal Accounts, to filter them in order of health or date of birth.

It will also be possible to share the animal's health data with third parties such as a veterinarian.

PetGear's battery should be charged through body heat and / or the movement of the animal, despite this hypothesis, it still needs to be evaluated and studied through research among several private professionals that we will rely on if the crowdfunding campaign is successful.

The PetGear having all the information of the animal inside, could possibly one day by law replace the chip already normally inserted in pets in some countries.

There’s so much stupid text on this one we missed the craziest part. What the hell?? These guys want their petchip mandated by law??? Well pardon me, but I don’t believe that is all too likely to happen! Also, I don’t want it to be. So I shan’t be supporting it! And if enough people agree with me, then such an unfair law won’t be on the books. That’s what you call justice, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the American way.

And the other American way is upon us! That’s right, pigskin, turkey skin, and potato skins! Maybe a couple of those don’t really make any sense but you get the idea. Have a good one folks. Hey, pass the graby! I mean gravy.