YKS The Mag #18

Trump has Covid! That’s really big news and I bet you’ll be hearing it on some channels and websites very soon, if you haven’t already. It seems like a lot of folks online are celebrating that tonight, and we should take some time to think about why that might be. My guess is that it’s because he’s a monstrous piece of shit who is both a cause and a product of the world being completely ruined, and he massively looks like shit and he had a dead tree outside of his building in NYC for several weeks before he was finally shamed into replacing it. It’s one fucking tree! Are you telling me he couldn’t scare up a new tree anywhere in the 5 boroughs? Make a good first impression, Donnie! Curb appeal is important. And he wears a diaper also. Let’s talk about some Kickstarters (I wrote this one out of order, sorry). 

Satoshi One (UPDATE!) 

If someone ripped off these shoes, I don’t know what I’d do! Any time I see a white shoe that looks like it might kind of fit on my foot if I tied the laces up on the top there...I fucking reach for my phone and search for “what is the blockchain”. After that it’s off to Safari, which is my default browser app despite changing that about one million times, where I will close 12 tabs that also

************** Ahhh I just found out that Trump tested positive******************

...say “what is the blockchain” with an answer I don’t understand. Very ugly shoes, however, and quite amusing to learn that they are very difficult to size and return. What I wouldn’t give to hear his first cough! 

Southside - $161 of $19,615

5 backers 58 days to go

My name is Dale McGregor. For about the past year I have been working on SouthSide. I created SouthSide because the party games I've played with friends, although fun and entertaining, they really didn't have the content that would make us double over laughing. The only one that did, occasionally, was Mad Libs. So, I took the humor I added in Mad Libs, and created a card game based on that humor and the crazy sh#t we see living on the south side. Playing the game with some of my oldest friends from the South side, they were like, "I remember that", or, "I've done that" and so on. All these cards are crazy, but not all of the crazy is made up 😅 I have loved creating this game, and I have loved even more my peoples reactions to the game. They are dying to get their hands on their very own version. I have spent about 1k so far on making the prototype. I am excited for the base version to take off so I can get back to writing cards for future expansion packs.

What an interesting guy. 

Fanfry - $28,925 of $80,000 HK

52 backers 23 days to go

Introducing Fanfry, The world’s first portable fan that can turn into a multifunction 1080p camera drone to take aerial video. Even better, the Fan handle also works as a power bank to instantly charge your drone or your cell phone.

Above is a still image of the Fanfry falling on the guy’s head, a scene they left in the promotional video for some reason.

And here is an image of the product available on AliExpress for import at a 70% discount over the Kickstarter price. 

So, this does seem to answer my main question about this product: is it even possible to have a fan flying around cooling you off, snapping some hot selfies, and charging your phone all at once? Yes! And you can get it by November! Why you would want to do that, or have the little piece of plastic fling itself out of the sky onto your sleeping face, then kind of laugh a little bit, and go back to pretending to be asleep, is anybody’s guess. 

StalkChat App & Web - $1 of $10,000

1 backers 55 days to go

Ok, I’m back from streaming. Sorry I had to take a break for a couple hours to play a video game, which you wouldn’t know, of course, not having read this newsletter in real time. I also write them starting from the bottom, so the break isn’t even chronological from your point of view. No need to acknowledge it really. But honesty is so good. While we were on the stream we saw the thing about Trump going into quartertine, too. Hopefully you saw that and enjoyed it as well!

Long time people keep watching  live streaming video from the cameras and want to make friend with some interesting guys from the scene of live streaming video from the camera but it is impossible to do that and you will lose the chance to meet that person who you want to make friend forever after they have gone from the scene because that person will not be on the scene of the camera again as the same as the real life when you are on some places and you see some interesting person and you are shy or you do not go to befriend them after they are gone, You will lose the chance to befriend them forever.

StalkChat, solves all of these problems through our app and web.

Burrito Pop - $22977 of $10k

389 backers 26 days to go

A lot of people saw this one and kind of gave it the classic, “What da…..!” But then again, $25,000 worth of orders have gone through the campaign page. So once again we are the haters and losers who don’t understand what’s good and fun. I really believe this! 

Shipping

As soon as we have Burrito Pops in our hands, we’ll package them up, load them on trucks, and ship them to your door steps. Shipping during the holidays under normal circumstances can yield unanticipated delays, but with the global pandemic still looming over all of us, there is a chance we’ll see longer than expected shipping times that may prevent us from delivering to you before the holidays. We’ll provide a tracking number as soon as your Burrito Pop leaves our warehouse and will be watching your delivery status like hawks. If it looks like there will be a delay, we’ll let you know right away.

Girthy Burritos

Not all burritos are created equal, and some are freaking huge. Burrito Pop was made for Burritos 3.5” in diameter, which we found to be the largest size available from most burrito makers. If you find yourself in possession of one that is larger than that, you’ll have to take a few vertical bites around the side to squeeze it into your Burrito Pop. Something tells us that won’t be a problem for you…

Don’t get what this is driving at. If I were capable of eating the burrito before putting into your patented proprietary storage and travel device, what would I shell out the $30-$50 for? Aren’t you worried that as soon as someone unwraps a burrito, takes a bite out of it, then another bite, and another, and wraps it back up in the foil, they’ll realize they don’t need the Burrito Elevator to bring the food up to their mouths? Because they’ve mastered tehir Five-Spoke Finger Trebuchet? Put that under risks and challenges!!

Nana Hats - $1158 of $3k

43 backers 57 days to go

When Mike told me the little plastic cling wrap on the top of the banana bunch stems was to keep them from going bad, I felt like I was living in one of those Twitter threads where a 19 year old lady says “I have literally been doing this my whole life and never knew this. WTF??” and they, like, take the back off a remote and realize that’s where the batteries are. “I’ve just been throwing remotes away?? This whole time???”

Of course that’s what it is. Why would there be plastic there otherwise? To hold them together in the discrete amounts of basically any number from 1-12? Why did I think that? As much as I go to the store (or think about it, seemingly), that is embarrassing. I need to start over from square one. No more assumptions. Forget everything I know. Except that it’s ok to ring up organic produce as regular. That bit stays. 

Good production on this Kickstarter though, which, once again, is a $17 non-biodegradable material meant to protect up to ~$3 of fresh nutrients or compostable food waste. 

CombiBucket - $6476 of $569943

33 backers 37 days to go

It’s not really fair to post the interior pic first, because it looks like a weird little monster on the set of a Pee Wee movie barfing up a bunch of trash. But look at this. 

I want to say this is a bad gif to post because of how gross it looks, having a cache of goopy stinky cereal getting hosed up into a bucket, then putting a camera in there, so it looks like I’m getting the nasty mess all over myself, and becoming very soggy and cruddy in a VR game of Wet Stinkman. But you have to admit, it shows in a very clear way how this bucket can be a vessel for your wet, dirty trash, and also how the garbage flap can protect your dry vacuum’s internal components from an onslaught of milk-soaked biscuit crumbs. 

This is what it looks like from the outside, which if nothing else, is less disgusting to look at. It’s not all that impressive of course, especially when you remember that you have to hook up a regular vac to the top port there, making the whole system sort of unwieldy. But it is just a prototype after all. Plus, someone pointed out to me that the whole design is similar to the set-up many woodworkers use to collect dust from their various saws and jigs -- so there is a precedent for this type of thing. But they want $575,000! You can’t ask for half a mil for a bucket. I don’t care how much diarrhea it can huff. 

Ok that’s it, enjoy Miketober! Bye!