September 2021 - $1 Tier Apology Email
Duuuude. We don’t have your dollar. I know, I know, we said we’d give it back. And this email comes to you as a direct contradiction of our previous messaging. But you know what we’ve got? A story. And isn’t that what’s most important in life? The stories we tell, that’s how we communicate, how we share our lives with each other -
You want your dollar? Ok, well that’s not gonna be possible. And here’s why.
We framed it. See, we framed it, like, in celebration? And so we’d know where it was when we needed to return it to you. But mostly to commemorate our first dollar borrowed from our great friend [YOUR NAME] through Patreon. And what an accomplishment it is! Aren’t you proud of us? We know we’re proud of you.
So we left for the weekend - we separate work and life, we have boundaries, these are all good things, right? And our regular armed guards patrolled the premises like they do every weekend - thanks for your help Ronald and Linus!!! and you’re not going to believe this - but they were distracted by a beautiful woman that turned out to be a deceptively painted trash can. They were then unfortunately hogtied by a group of as-of-yet unidentified professional thieves who proceeded to use acrobatics to hop over the laser alarms, and then drilled holes through the safe to steal the dollar you loaned us. They escaped from the roof using a carefully lined up aerial ladder from a borrowed fire truck.
But hey, we’re going to get your dollar back. We’re going to! Cross our hearts. The heist team wasn’t a plant or a laundering scheme or anything. We’re going to get your dollar back - but in pursuit of that, we’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file another dollar. For the rescue efforts. You understand, right?
Comments (40)
All's good, just uh... don't tell my mom about this please?
Show feet.
Goddam Markiplier!!
It would be Markiplier
Vibez#8332
it’s just da green baby G
You better be sorry >:(
Dude what the hell that was my rare dollar! It was worth 500 pennies man! Ugh... just when's the next D-club meeting?
Um, the bank note I loaned you had a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it, so... where’s that at? 😜
i think a good reminder of how much we all loved dave (RIP to a real one) and how proud we are of everyone (except for that Totally Real Not Suspicious Story's heist team, cuz shame on them for stealing THE dollar) would be to put an IOU in the frame until its returned. hopefully at least the IOU note will be fine, and won't have any mysterious food stains or ominous disappearances of its own. an IOU should be safe inside such a well-secured facility, such as Game Grumps HQ, right?? surely!
Boom... there's a boom in the shot...
Hmm you have a lot of details on this crime. Those security cameras were wet up nice. Anyone seen ninja Brian lately
I legit love the concept of you guys coming up with a reason why you lost my dollar every month for a dollar.
Call the eff 🐝 👁️!!!
Ty for being honest 😌💗
This patreon confuses and confounds me. I mean, take my $5 with love...but what is happening here exactly?
The lower tier of patreon subscription is 1$. In the tier's description they ask if they can "borrow a dollar." And here they are apologizing for losing said dollar, I think.
This is peak shit posting and I love it.
whst about our 5
The $5 was used yo buy that less than foot long
Damn that’s crazy. Good thing I did the $5 thing, I bought Arin a sandwich and y’all’s shit got stolen lol
I cool with that, bros. Just let me know if you need another for groceries and stuff.
I guess I can spare another dollar... 😉
I'm happy to support the Grumps through both Youtube membership and Patreon but ngl these patreon rewards are kinda weak.
Agreed
So.... what actually happened lol
FINE take another dollar...
I paid for this
Was Ross behind all of this? Maybe Dan knows the truth.
Damn that’s a great use of our dollar love it
I dunno man. Kinda want that dollar back. I've got a lot of dollar stuff to do.
Well, shiet.
That’s a lotta words
The action film we have wanted, that dollar went through quite the trip. Let’s hope the boys can safely get it back 💸
Arin, I love you but your nose hair looks like a spider leg and I can’t not see it now.
How could this happen? I can’t believe they got past your monkey child that you keep in the grumps room
Oh just keep it ya crazy boys. I got another one somewhere.
Please return my George to me :-(
Dan looks like he knows something...
All he wanted was some mushu