Fan Fiction Story Time - December 2025 #1 - Forbiden Fruit Ch. 4 - 6

Hate it when I show a man my beasts and fuckin’ beg him to sex on me but he runs away This is a time capsule, and one of the deeper ones “I don’t drink blood you fucking dipshit” as one says Sets current gender as “male object.” Smiles contentedly

This story is gonna be so much better from now on without uncle Larry in it

Can the guys do a Twilight commentary that I can sync up with the movie?

"Don't clangle at me, I'll plimple mutely" might need to be a t-shirt

EVERYONE CLANGLED AT ME >:(

Uncle Larry made me file his taxes, then he hit me with his shoe.

Mike /is/ boring!

I had to pause for moment around 9 minutes in. It's all so horrible, but the way it's presented is unfortunately hilarious.

Better to plimple mutely than out loud where everyone can hear.

I think a lot of the sexual abuse and groping that happens in this is the writer, whether they're doing it intentionally or not, picking up on how that is something that happens so casually in the books and imitating it here. To make it worse, Twilight does have a scene where Bella is gangstalked and almost gang raped, and Edward rescues her, but his heroism is contrasted with repeated scenes of Edward not respecting Bella's personal space and even being quite rude and dismissive of her feelings (I believe we would call it "negging" in modern parlance). Furthermore, the physical violence Bella goes through is pretty intense throughout the whole series: she's thrown around, stomped on, shoved into glass, throws herself off a cliff (!), and is so physically ravaged and devastated in the last book that I thought it was a fuckin' Cronenberg script. The final book was released the same year as the first film, so one can only wonder what the author would have added to the fic if inspired by it. Oh, and Bella's also sexually assaulted by her friend Jacob (ONE OF THE LOVE INTERESTS) in one of the books, and anyway I'm rambling but I just want to say that that kind of fucked up content exists in the books with the same very casual nature to it. Certainly not as crass because Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon. I also want to point out that because My Immortal was so infamous, and because Twilight and Harry Potter were so big at the same time, I can completely see someone doing their own spin on My Immortal as a parody but also sticking to the bit so well that people can't tell. I keep stressing all this because I know that Arin and Dan, and likely a lot of the people on this Patreon, are not familiar with fandom and fanfiction in general. Of course there's just as much of a possibility that I am totally wrong, but I figured some context might help with an understanding of this experience. I also want to point out that True Blood was a big thing at the same time as all this, and the heroine of that series was molested by her uncle. So I can see the writer combining all of that together. How nice!

I really thought we were about to get a Christmas song... "Oh Oodard with your skin so white" me: won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

I gatta be honest, I was NOT prepared for the reveal that her dad is Caius😭

Dan: oh edward, with your skin so white.. Me for the next 2 minutes: wont you guide my sleigh tonight?

I almost died today. I was eating while watching this 😂

He hit me with a shoe and took my Microsoft dinosaurs DVD and cut me up, all over my body

I am absolutely crying at plimpled mutely omg

Something about Edward saying “omg my lady” really makes me want to see a larping session where they use leet-proper language while fighting.

"Take your clothes off you moldy slut" sent me.

Thanks for the free ab workout, guys. “He ‘plimpled’ mutely”, and the audience “clangled” absolutely knocked me out.

I stake my life upon the fact that this is the “My Immortal” author. They write about sensitive goth bi guys too well for it to be a coincidence. And the sumptuous clothing tangents.

What I don't understand is why Edward talk like the quintessential Redditor 😅

I realize a lot of humor comes from the ridiculous premise and the writing choices/errors, and that I shouldn’t take any of it seriously. (For the record I did laugh several times.). Still, it feels incredibly gross for her to “beg for it” while being the victim of ongoing SA from her uncle. Ew.

wait do they upload fan fiction on Monday...?

usually i can figure out what the author is trying to say, but "pimpled mutely" is undecipherable

11:53 is giving 'today is football'

Ugh this is so good, 13 year old me is squealing right now

8:47 and then he did other things like take my Microsoft dinosaurs CD and cut me up, all over my body

This author is like Lewis Carroll with the whimsy of their made-up words~

The nonstop brutality of shit happening was wearing me down, but what finally broke me was "I plimpled mutely"

Jeezy Chrizy! Firbiden Froot aka Spellcheck and Therapy.

This story takes place within the same nebulous, cloudy, dream state of My Immortal. Things happen, characters come and go, locations are stated, but none of it is grounded by any physical markers or helpful reference points. I just imagine every scene taking place in some “cloudy heaven” space. 100% the same author

I can't be the only person that feels like the author is working through some shit with this one

Clangled freaking killed me

They clangled at me and then I went and sat on my friends....that was the juggernaut that took me down....it came out of left field as I took a sip of my drink. Zero sugar root beer everywhere. Good stuff guys!!! Arin's reaction only made it better

Dan's beautiful rendition of Antanatiana's poem brought a tear to mine eye

Arin really bravely controlled his desires when he heard "melon colly"

I'm sneaking this at work which is a no fun allowed zone. "Plimpled mutely" nearly got me, but I burst out laughing when everyone "clangled" at her!

This episode is ROUGH, it's literally the diary of someone trying to cope with abuse by a family member and still feeling "urges", oof

Dearest dan and airhand i want you two too cnow i geneinlly love story times and i hope you two many successes :)

This episode truly stuck the landing.

if theyre undead (vampires) can they.... get.....boners???? you need bloodflow right??? aka a beating heart???? is that the downside of being a vampire??? youre just alive forever ridden with erectile dysfunction?????? ......maybe thats why theyre so sexuality driven, they cant bang properly.... NOOOO SHE LET EWDARD SEX HER!!!!!!!

I still can't tell if I'm actually enjoying this or if it's one of the worst things I've ever heard. It feels like this is giving me a headache without any actual pain, as weird as that sounds. Am I losing my mind?

I clangle to whoever brought this to their attention, this had me plimpling with laughter

There's no new ideas - I have a manuscript, of course it doesn't rise to the craft level of 'Forbiden Fruit', where the blonde lead has to deal with SA issues and wishes to be seen for more than her physical self. No vampires tho

This is exactly what I needed today.

"Every gay at school wants to have sex with thee" ... "Please, I'm begging you ..." And it results in Ewdard...running away screaming. LOL I can see it now. Shrieking "NOOOOO!!!!" running away, turning into a bat and flying off. ... "I got out of the car feeling insulated!" She says as she climbs out of the car wearing 10 heavy jackets. (jacksons) ... Big props to Dan's amazing live-editting and translation skills!...yet even with those, he can't translate "plimpled mutely". It even caused him to freeze up and question life.

"I plimpled mudely" killed me.

Also shoutouts to “my naked heaving beasts“ and “my mom dies when I was bored“ absolutely fantastic 😭

Arin's super genuine “WHAT?“ after hearing “plimpled mutely“ had me in TEARS omg 😭

I almost skipped this one after the first few minutes, but then "plimpled mutely" happened and I couldn't breathe

I was eating dried cranberries when "plimpled mutely" popped up, and I laughed so hard a cranberry shot out of my nose. This story is the fucking best

Imma have to tap out on this one boys, I draw a hard line with child rape. Can we please try to screen for underage sexual stuff. This has child porn in it and even though Danny was smart enough to not read it, people now know its out there and can go read those parts of the story.

You should take the best of the misspelled words from this and My Immortal and make a shirt like your Link names shirt.

I just binged all of these at work last night and was sad it was over just for this to drop the next day, it made me plimple mutely.

Yessssssss

I had to blow my nose after "Clangled at me"

Awesome Mike Watt reference hell yeah Minutemen and fIREHOSE

I'm so glad that Tia got to kill Uncle Larry...

i think plimpled mutely has the grounds to be mumbled quietly, it's the only damn thing that makes sense

I don't think this is the same person who wrote my immortal but i do think they were inspired by my immortal

im clangling so hard from this masterpiece

Im so glad I got this, best yearly purchase I have 😭

May we all plimple mutely and make the sex

Super improvement

Fanfiction Story Time will always be the light of my month

Dan: what could that mean? Lol

THIS. This is good content

“He hit me with a shoe all night”

YIPPEE, having a bad day and this really helps cheer me up! Thx!

let’s fucking goooo

I long for when Flamer was an insult