Fan Fiction Story Time - November #2 - Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen Ch. 1 -3

I like that they said they like hot pink. They liked hot pink in Ch1 of MI, then halfway through MI they started hating pink for not being goth enough. By the time they started writing this though, they were more comfortable with themselves and could admit they like the colour pink whether it’s a ‘cool’ colour or not.

I totally agree with Arin that this was clearly written by a teenage girl in like the early 2000s it's SO exactly how people talked and just like My Immortal the goth/scene kid references and nomenclature is spot on for both that age group and that time period. I can't imagine how powerful this woman has to be knowing that this shit she wrote as a teen is still circulating, I would die of embarrassment.

Definitely either the same author as My Immortal or someone imitating them. Amazing.

I genuinely think forbiden fruit is worse than my immortal

Jesus this takes me back to being 13 Stephanie, I do not like what your weird racist cult vampire story has done to several generations of girls. I was this person. And I’m so upset.

There's no way this isn't the same girl because the writing style is so specific

The editor's note and writing literally feels like a parallel universe version of my immortal, its author and even her friends

Hey arin, those are some fun noisy jibbits

What happened to the second half of chapter 2? I read it, and it’s not that bad, and has some really fun bits, like how she “knees his giggle stick”

I actually believe this is a spiritual successor. It isn't really hard to write like My Immortal, especially because it was so infamous. To add to that, Harry Potter and Twilight gained popularity at the same time but also had like a weird rivalry? I don't know why. But I can totally see this as someone who read or watched Twilight and thought it was just as dumb as My Immortal and wanted to write a spiritual parody. At the same time I could totally see this as also being Tara, but I find it difficult to believe that it's the same person.

Danny's ability to read this insanely bad grammar makes me so happy.

YEESS WE ARE SO BACK

I can't... not again... I'm not... strong enough

Only 5 minutes in and the imagery and poor grammar is that of My Immortal. I’m already invested. Edit: This might actually be from the same author. Some of the verbiage is exactly the same but who knows. Could have been the era when fan fiction was really taking off.

Listening to this is making me think I’m having a stroke

The skipped bit is plain silly and insensitive, but there's one line that stands out in its absurd was "the pain was terrible even though his manhood was small" So tone deaf. It's unreal

I love how canonically in the source material (iirc, haven't read the books or seen the films since they came out) the Cullen's were explicitly trying to blend in and doing a poor job of it while trying their best. So to imagine part of how they're blowing their cover is edward talking likest thayt is hilarious to me.

shoutout to the loud jibbetrd disneyland 70th crocs

“oh… oh skip this part???” we love kings who cut unnecessary trauma content

the author writes with the grammar i have when i'm drunk and trying to text someone. just kinda hit letters on the keyboard and get in the general area

They finished My Immortal! I can finally leave! IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN?!?!?

MORE MORE MORE

Just wondering…is anyone gonna try to introduce them to omegaverse?

Am I crazy or did Dan skip over half of Chapter 2?

YESSSSS omg i've been binging all of the story times since i've always wanted to see them but never had the attention span before. i was so disappointed when my immortal ended but Omg this is just the same i Love this

Peter…we are so back!

holy shit, i had no idea this existed. it immediately sounds like my immortal, this is incredible

this does have an incredibly Tara Gillespie feeling to it but I am so sad to admit a lot of us wrote like this back in the day (maybe not all the misspellings but the general drama and detail)

This has to be the same author as my immortal it’s exactly the same vibes and syntax and I love it!

I have a feeling English isn't this person's first language 😂

I think the proofreader is also dyslexic. And it only makes it better!

Why is Edward..blonde? I know its so inconsequential compared to everything else the author says, but can't stop thinking about it

“I’m so screwed up in the bran” will be in my head for a while.

🐀✨????

Did Dan misread Eudard/Ewdard with his ewes?

Dear god, I was taking a drink right as “horny little donkeys” came up and almost fucking choked to death.

reminder this was PROOFREAD, what was it like before....

Why does Edward talk with thees and thous

Honestly, the most unrealistic thing about this fic is that Bella Swan is a cheerleader lol

I put this in the form about a year ago so I’m excited that it’s finally being read!

Dan's delivery is always perfect. I love it. I laughed for 10 minutes straight. I need more!!!!

That was the fastest 23 minutes ever omg. We need to hear more of Atalantiatiana's story!

MORE GIVE US MORE

This read like someone's diary....is this someone's diary? EDIT: going forward, I'm gonna be using horny little donkey, WAY too often

I am using the term "like wet haven" from now - We need a lower third for the spelling- It just needs a MCR reference.

You can't be serious. But you are. The author is, anyway.

This just furthers my theory that the author of my immortal was like 13-14 and emo when they wrote it, and this is then a few years later at like 16-17 y/o

This is the funniest possible way to celebrate the Twilight movie anniversary

Before I watch this, if Forbidden Fruit is misspelled because it's a romance between Biden and Edward then this is the most cringe worthy, hilarious, inept but genius thing I'll see in at least 3 months.

Yep this is a banger lmao, this totally sounds like the same author so I guess this one is also in the MIU (My Immortal Universe)

Dan is so good at reading the story exactly as it’s written. I crack up every time he says “hawt”. And wtf is “wet heaven”? Lol

Please tell me this is 40 chapters long

This is definitely the same person as my immortal. The mispellings, gothic, and mary sue, I feel this in my bones. 🤌

This has My Immortal vibes alright. This is probably the story Tara promised to help Raven with. LOL Sincerely, "Ewdard" Cullen

If she starts to "sexily/seductively walk..." Places, I'm confident we've found the same genius behind my immortal

Dude Edward Cullen talks just like Voldemort from My Immortal, this is awesome.

That was SO My Immortal it hurts! And I love it!

i do love your disneyland 70th crocs arin. arin can you hear me

i actually screamed when i saw this im so.pumped

We’re back baby!✨

Whoever was the aforementioned proofreader did a bang up job 😂

So, Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way is a blonde now. Okay. Uh, Did Edward speaketh in the King James English in the movies?

I was hoping for more SpongeBob but I’m down for this

I'm Kirsten! I'm so stoked you guys are reading this! I was a bit worried you wouldn't because of some....later stuff but I really think you'll enjoy this one like My Immortal. It's not AS legendary but still insane.

Definitely feels like My immortal with all the detailed physical descriptions...

Pretty sure there's a little bit of chapter 2 that was missed, "and he NEW it, this was horible! I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave. "Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa"he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes "your one of my kind. who made thee ?are you part of a coven or on thou own? "what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!) "thy a CAMPIRE tia! a VAMPIRE! BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND? I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!" He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red. I schlepped him hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my waste and as I struggled and tried to hit him again he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall. His face was blunt and right heavy in mine. My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs and he drubbed over in pan. I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me. "TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed after me tearing his shrit of himself in fury and throwing it over my eyes. I lost my sight and was behind me breathing into my ears. "i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly picking me up off the floor and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee! I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!" "YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped whitely as he lay on the floor so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body. I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire (VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park)and making fun of me and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises but i didnt. I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!) then I fell over. The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist. I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!)as he gazed longingly after me. In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, wondering what it all could mean. AN what do u think PLEASE R n R?.BIG SHoutout 2 my friend abigail gud luk for 2moro!)did u see i put the man-carrot thing in!) LMAO! Also love 2 tiffi & rach(and zaccibaby of corse!) LOVE U GUYZ SO MUCH!X X X beckymac x x" a little bit of context for the start of chapter 3 is missing:)

I looked up the original for once so I could see what the skipped section was🤣

Haven’t watched yet so I don’t know how far they get but they’re gonna want to be reeeeal careful around “Capter 3.”

Throbbing lavender manfruit time 😄

I need more of this, my 'My Immortal' addiction needs to be dated

I find it interesting how we went from creaming ourselves to nutting ourselves

Stephanie Meyers has SO much to answer for other than inflicting strict Mormon values upon unsuspecting young women...including whatever the living hell this is

You’re all welcome for this