PatPod 37. Taha Can't See the Apple

1

I'm a new patreon and was going through the archives, got to this one and got SO EXCITED! I have aphantasia and LOVE listening to all of your questions and several times I've gone "Exactly! How do you all not understand!". For the apple, it's literally just a feeling of something like am I hungry, but not words, just the checking for the sensation of hunger. Thank you all!

I was holding the Apple. It was wet. (Guess that’s what I picture for an Apple I am about to eat.) My hands were cold. So I don’t know where I fall. But I also never stop thinking. Never. I got kicked out of meditation as a kid.

I feel closer to Taha, it is like Schrödinger's apple, like I assign no color or setting, if you ask me I can add it but it is not instinctive in the first place, I feel like I just imagine the most minimaslistic concept, like enough to be distinguished as an apple but that's it

As soon as Melissa said, "I'd eat an apple,", my mouth started watering and I pictured the Honeycrisp apple in my refrigerator. But I want to finish folding laundry first before I eat the apple. So I kept folding laundry. Then Sabrina asked for us to comment, so I started typing. And now I need to rewind a couple minutes because I got distracted by typing and didn't really hear what you said for the past couple minutes. 🍎

this is absolutely hilarious to me cause I am Taha here with the inner monologue thing but I haven't always been (its wild what proper medication and good support systems can do)

First: I really enjoyed Joe beeing on the podcast. Second: This episode was mindblowing. I always wonder what thinking 'is'/'looks' for other people. Thrid: For me, my inner monologue is just like a whole second-layer-story above everything that happens around me. Like I am watching myself from third perspective and describing to an unknown audience what 'me' is thinking at that moment. That means I am *really* slow and selective because in order to process a situation I need to put it into real sentences which I then 'read' out loud to myself. To me, the experience/process of thinking feels like writing a play and then seeing the actors perfom that on stage.

ADDITIONAL QUESTION when you do something embarrassing and the feeling of like oops afterwards - do u think to yourself OOPSIES OR do u just feeeeeeel the embaressment???

this is wild bc i think almost entirely like taha except for the fact that i can visualize things - i can say things in my head but it’s Really hard to keep it going for more than a few words without verbalizing it

I was so disappointed that this discussion has ended. Also, would Joe consider being a regular on the podcast? We want to hear him every episode.

Red is not the apple I default to (I go for a granny smith), and I have...robust inner monologues.

okay so i think I'm in between Sabrina and Taha. If i have an inner monologue its kind of like when you have a song stuck in your head but its just your own brain. Otherwise, my thoughts are kind of just vibes. Like I know what they are and theyre there but theyre not necessarily words or pictures. The same is true with the picturing physical things thing. Like if I imagine an apple its like how Joe described like an icon of an apple but if the opacity was turned down. Its also kind of like how I imagine spidey sense is. Like I know its there and I'm aware of it but I don't necessarily know how to explain it to you

I am having full conversations in my head, to myself. "I need yo get out of bed now" "wait, what time is it?" " alright me, what do I need to do next?" I am literally saying this in my head to myself as I type. I also have a habit of mouthing the words I just said outloud to a person without thinking it, which people have called me out for. Also also, I'm great at producing images in my head. If you ask me for directions, I have to go into my mind palace to pictures the landmarks near by. And I have anxiety, which means so many intrusive thoughts I have to combat, which is less fun.

Please tell me there's only 4 apples there.... 😳🤯

Sorry about the late upload y'all! I am on a brief excursion out of the city and only got that good wifi recently. - Sabrina