Maybe I am not made for this Era

Just a few thoughts from a simple and small artist.

Video games now feel flat and superficial to me. I have not really played actual games in years anymore, unlike when I was younger and growing up. Everything is polished to perfection, focused on realism, and now AI filters are supposed to enhance all of it even more. PC components keep getting more expensive too, which also stops you from wanting to invest in bigger upgrades. And for what exactly, when there are barely any games left that even feel worth playing anymore. At least not for me.

Everything somehow feels empty now, whether it is anime or series. Because you do not even really want to support streaming services anymore when so much behind them is going wrong too. Voice actors are being pushed into signing contracts that allow their voices to be stolen. At least here. And then every program people know starts getting AI features added into it. Even Blender. Even there you now have collaborations and add ons built around it.

And I no longer know how I am supposed to tell real things apart from artificial ones. Instagram and other platforms label actual handmade work as AI generated just because an AI system was used to detect AI, even though it obviously does not work reliably at all. I do not want my art to be marked as AI when it is not. Ads are full of AI nonstop. You try to ignore it, push it away, mute it, block it, but nothing works anymore.

I had to delete my old Pinterest account because all of my pictures and creations were labeled as AI generated, and there was nothing I could do about it.

And the irony of all of this is that we live in a world where so much has happened. I have experienced so much. I have already spent the last ten years trying to avoid fake people in real life. And then there was the internet, a place where maybe you could escape somehow through games, through series, through creativity, through art. But now even that no longer feels safe. I do not want things that feel hollow and empty. I look at them and I feel nothing anymore. Why? Because they do not feel real. Everything feels like one giant artificial mass blending together.

I sit here in front of my desktop, looking at my own work, and I think to myself that I somehow need to protect it. It still brings me joy. But thinking about whether I should even continue posting things anymore, risking that the authenticity of what I create is no longer recognized because people are becoming used to fake and artificial things, that is the danger of this era.

And as an artist who has spent over twenty years creating, whether through drawing, design, or creative processes in general, it is becoming harder and harder. Even with Blender you cannot be sure anymore. You look at a Blender render and you no longer know how much of it was truly made by the creator themselves, how much came from prompts, AI tools, or automated add ons. Everyone has their own opinions about this, but I am not talking about opinions right now. I am talking about a feeling. And my feeling when I see all these polished creations that all look alike and carry the exact same energy is that they feel flat and superficial to me.

And I simply cannot work like this anymore. It is becoming unbearable for me. No matter how real I am or how much I genuinely learn and create myself, the truth is that people may no longer be able to recognize that authenticity. And I do not know if I should keep posting the things that come from my heart, the things I poured effort and love into, when others might not even be able to tell anymore. I can still feel it myself, but people are losing that sense. Humans get used to things very quickly, and in many ways we are simple creatures of habit. If people become accustomed to artificiality, then how are they supposed to still distinguish what is real and what is not? Eventually the fake becomes accepted as real, and the things that once truly were real disappear.

I have been thinking about this a lot, and it feels like a part of who I always was is slowly fading away. That feeling of dissolving keeps getting stronger. The world once felt colorful. A long time ago, the world felt full of color and life. Now everything just feels gray and repetitive.

What do you think?

This text is not an attack against anyone, and I am not judging anyone who wants to create things in their own way. This is simply a summary of how I feel and what my situation feels like as someone who is still trying to give their best in the way they originally learned. But at the same time, I feel overwhelmed from every direction by things that simply do not make me feel anything anymore, if you understand what I mean.

I just thought I would write down some of my thoughts. Maybe someone can relate to them, or maybe not. But this is simply my own emotional world, not an attack against anyone. This is just genuinely how I feel, and it has been this way for quite a while now. Everyone can do whatever they want, but I cannot force myself to feel something that I simply do not feel. And because of that, I somehow needed to put these emotions into words, whatever words I still have for them. I do not know.

Maybe I am also just in a dark place right now, one that makes everything seem more hopeless than it really is. But even if I cannot fully see beyond it at the moment, I still know what I am feeling right now, and honestly, it does not feel very good.

#DeepThoughts #ExistentialThoughts #Authenticity #ArtificialWorld #CreativeMind #ArtistThoughts #EmotionalNumbness #Disconnected #Melancholic #Reflection