O0O0OO0 SPOOKY!

"The women in my family have a history of what we would just call “ESP,” most prominent in my mother, grandmother, and me. We had a sense of things going awry, and often had death premonitions in our dreams. The connection between the three of us is so special and my grandmother was my best friend. I’m a speech therapist and a yoga teacher, so for what it’s worth I actively fuel my intuition every day. I practice tarot and meditate often. However, my most notable experience was before I became either, when I was still an undergraduate and simply open to the spirit world, not actively engaged in it. 

Unfortunately, both my mother and my grandmother had been diagnosed at young ages with different rare and chronic kidney conditions. At the age of 77, my grandmother had been on dialysis for 12 years, and the effects of long term treatment had all but snuffed out her light. She was blind, sometimes confused, but still loved to dance and be with her girls. She radiated light wherever she went, but we knew the time was near every day that we would have to say goodbye.

I never got the privilege of telling her how much I loved her before she passed on. Rather suddenly, albeit expectedly, she passed away, alone, on her way back from dialysis one day. It tore me apart. I felt guilty and disgusted with myself for not being there, and I couldn’t get the image of her sightless, scared, and alone out of my mind.

The following two nights after her death, I dreamt of her. The first dream was very short, but physical and detailed. She and I were in a movie theater and the others in the theater were being very loud. I was furious and yelling at everyone to quiet down. I yelled, “Everyone be quiet! She can’t see so she has to listen! She can’t hear the movie and it’s not fair.” My grandma turned her face to me, she was so beautiful. Her golden curls poised high on her head, she smiled at me and told me these words. “It’s alright honey girl. I can see everything and I can take care of myself. You don’t have to take care of me, I’m okay.” I instantly felt calm. The dream faded as we both turned to the movie screen. Honey girl was her nickname for me, and when I woke up I felt relief.

The second dream felt more ethereal. I’ll try to put words to the image, but it is almost beyond description. I was floating in space and observing a bluish-white cloud-like space with balls of light flitting around, talking to each other. Some seemed to dance and some idled in clusters. I called out, but I don’t remember what I said. Then a grouping of light, which I  understood was my grandmother, came to greet me, in a way, although I can’t say that words were said. The communication was so basic and essential that once I again I simply understood that she was alright, but that she was preoccupied talking with other balls of light, and that I should carry on. I once again woke feeling relieved, but maybe a little disappointed. I missed her so much, but she was busy with her mother and siblings, who had all passed on before her.

My mother and I have lamented occasionally over the last 10 years that she’s been gone that she hasn’t “sent more signs.” My mother and my grandmother apparently had a pact to communicate if they could, if ever they were separated by death. I haven’t been able to feel my grandmother’s presence much since those dreams. My mother has had one encounter more recently, in which she woke to the smell of my grandmother’s perfume in the middle of the night. No explanation other than she fulfilled their pact in the only way she could. I have theories about why the communication has ended, but I’ll digress here."