[Frustrated Thundamoo Noises]
Writing Vigor Mortis is really difficult. I've been working on this one chapter since Thursday, both before and after the Bioshifter chapter that came out the other day, and it's still a slog to get through.
I'm still probably going to need more time.
I could blame a lot of things for this. The surgery, my constantly fluxuating mental state, and yeah, they're definitely all reasons this is happening. But honestly, the biggest one is that the recent set of chapters have been really hard, because they are about facing and recovering from trauma, bad habits, and grudges. And gosh golly, I am so much better at inflicting trauma than I am at healing it. This is why you're seeing a lot of Bioshifter chapters come out on time while Vigor Mortis chapters are getting constant delays; the Bioshifter chapters are dealing with things in my element, while the Vigor Mortis chapters are a constant struggle.
But it needs to be done. Vigor Mortis is on book four—of four. The story isn't ending any time soon, per se, but we're well over the halfway mark and plot threads are starting to get wrapped up as much as dangled (which is also a much less fun part of writing, let me tell you). One of my biggest regrets about Hive Minds Give Good Hugs is that I think the ending is abrupt and kind of shitty (although that story has POPPED OFF in ebook sales for some reason, thanks to everyone who contributed to that). I don't want Vigor Mortis to share the same fate. I want it to be something I'm proud of from start to finish. Suffice to say, that means I'm going to have to take extra time with it occasionally.
Now, I'd love to say "so we're getting one chapter a week instead of two, thanks for understanding" and leave it at that, but I know my dumb stupid brain doesn't work that way. If I give myself more time to work on each chapter, my brain will just procrastinate more to make up for it. So the goal is still the current goal: two VM chapters a week, one Bioshifter chapter a week. But things are going to get weird. Basically, I think I need to keep the goal but allow myself to cheat.
I might swap the Wednesday chapter around between the two stories from time to time, just because it's in a stage where it's much more fun to write. I might randomly miss one of the two releases in a given week, just to spend the time giving more love to a single chapter. Unless I'm missing both chapters in a week, I likely won't post a specific update telling everyone what's happening.
Do I realize that this is an imposition on you, the people actually paying me to write? Do I realize that it's annoying to not have a consistent schedule by which you can judge if your dollar is being valued? Yeah, of course I get that. But also wee hee I'm a funny little author girl and I'm calling in my artist's right to be eccentric. At the end of the day, I am just a mess that is trying her best.
So yeah. I'm going to keep writing the chapter that I owe you today. But... it probably won't actually be finished today. Apologies. Thanks for reading, though, and wish me luck.
Comments (19)
Okay. So, I've already posted my response to this particular post above, but I wanted to write some things about the story as a whole up to this point (I have not read 182 currently). Since this post is mostly about VM, I feel this is an appropriate place to put this. I really like this story. I really like these characters. I'm really invested in seeing how things end, especially knowing that we are on the "final volume". I feel that I really need to drive home how invested I am... how about this: If another story (that I was less interested in) did the kinds of horrific things to its protagonists as this story does on a regular basis, I would have dropped it long ago. I'll be honest. I'm experiencing something that I'll dub "horror fatigue" from this story. So many horrible things happen to the main characters in this story that if I see something good happen, my immediate thought is not how wholesome it is or happy for them, I just wonder what will happen to kick them down again this time. When it does, I won't feel as much of an impact (since chaapter 144) because I was expecting bad stuff to happen. I fully believe that a downer ending is coming because the main characters don't seem like they're allowed to be happy for more than a few chapters at a time. An example of the type of the type of ending I'm expecting.... something like: Penny's soul explodes, rendering her into a mindless husk, forever dooming Vita to a loveless existence just before Lark kills her. Lark commits suicide in a fit of depression, and Jelisa is left stranded somewhere to ponder as the bugs invade. Do I actually think that will happen? No. However, I wouldn't be surprised if it did. That's just the kind of feeling that I get now when a chapter is posted. I'm excited the read it, but equal parts dreading what new horrible thing has maybe happened to our protagonists. I really wish I didn't feel this way because I really like the story, and I'm excited to see how it ends. I just can't help but brace for impact.
Good luck! We are so lucky, ourselves, to have your writing to enjoy!
I'd say to take the time to get into the zone for writing that type of story. Even if it takes a bit longer, it's best to end with a result that you can be proud of.
You do you
[frustrated fan-girl noises] i totally understand. Take your time. And you don't have to set the goalposts higher, because it took more Time. Don't stress out about it, the quality of your work is excellent!
You recent chapters have been rather nice. Like reading a weirdly different kind of wish fulfillment. One where people understand you and are patient with you and hope is this actually tactile and tangible thing that can be grasped and used as momentum. I really look forward to reading how that gets incorporated.
Vigor Mortis is up there as one of the best webserials around. I'd much rather you spend the time you need to spend to get it right than to significantly compromise quality of the story.
Please don't feel too presured I would rather you write at whatever pace you can handle. I used to read a web comic called goblins at one point the creator just stopped. They eventually came back and let us know that they had a mental break down because of the feeling that they owed it to the readers. They saw themselves as being employed by the readers ect. Their therapist helped them realize this was not a healthy mindset and helped them find a better way of looking at their relationship.
No worries about delaying! If rather you take your time to get the chapters right. I can wait :D
Hey, don’t feel bad. At least you recognize your own faults; including your somewhat worrying tendency to generate suffer porn. Anyway, take as much time as you need. So long as we know what’s going on, and we get at least a two thirds of our scheduled entertainment every month, there won’t be a problem. Just make sure you’re actually working, k?
That's fine. The quality of the final product is more important than killing yourself to meet a strict schedule. Thank you for keeping us in the loop.
Take all the time you need. We'll be here for you
gl
What they all said, your writing has never failed to entertain and, at least in my case, I consider chappies of either story to be equally valid productions for the money I patreon your way. So if you need to take more time with writing the VM chappies and maybe once in a while spot us more bioshifter chappies cause they're easier to write then I has no complaints. Plus as I usually say: Healthy author is more important than an always on time author.
Couldn‘t agree More!
Take all the time you need <3, and thank you for being so open and honest about the process :)
take all the time you need moo!
Thanks for writing moo
Take all of the time you need. Writing is tough. I sure as hell couldnt do it. New chapters are exciting to see, delays are fine too. Good luck, and no pressure or anything from me.