90. Destroy

A/N: Hello, everyone! This right here is the final chapter of Magical Girl Mechanical Heart: Volume 3. There will only be one more volume after this! We're three quarters of the way through the story! Isn't that exciting?

We are also, as many of you know, very nearly done with Are You Even Human as a series, but that story has been plagued with delays. I've talked about and thought about my plans for things re: finishing that series, but here is my final set of plans for realizes times infinity. This is the schedule that will occur: after the release of this chapter, my writing time will be spent exclusively on finishing Are You Even Human. The next two chapter releases will both be AYEH chapters, and it is my hope that they won't take more than a couple weeks to finish from here, if that. The next one is partway done already, and without MGMH scheduled chapters to worry about I think I should be able to push through. BUT, as I am sure all of you have noticed, I haven't been all that good about consistent updates this year and at this point I just have to accept that it's burnout.

I gotta take a break, you guys. A real break. A long break. Traditionally, I have always taken a month-long break after finishing a series, so... that's exactly what I'll do when I finish AYEH. I've spoken before about maybe spending half that time still writing MGMH and the other half planning my new story, but uh... nope. Not gonna do that. I am too tired. It's gonna be a full month of only planning, zero writing. It is my hope and genuine belief that taking a real ass break will help considerably with keeping my schedule going forward, and it should also give me enough time to finish planning the new story. Since I intend to write a mystery novel, it will take considerably more time and effort to plan than any other book I have written. I intend to like, buy a whole ass cork board and string setup to help plan out all the murders and prevent me from forgetting anything. It's gonna be a whole thing. Look forward to it!

Anyway, that's the plan. All that's left is to give you the trigger warnings (suicidal ideation) and the music, and we're good to end Volume 3 of MGMH. Enjoy the ride!

Transformation themes:
https://youtu.be/4AHOh9tTNfo
https://youtu.be/IYEF1st2AkY

I'm realizing now, in this odd moment before we probably die, that there may have been serious consequences to teaching Earth Guardians that they can't run away. 

I suppose 'teaching' is too strong of a word. In the complete absence of teaching, the Earth Guardians likely came to that conclusion all on their own. If an Earth Guardian loses a fight, humans die. Usually lots of humans. There's generally little to no backup for Earth Guardian missions, and if you can't hack it, then the Grim Reaper comes to town. That's the prevailing opinion I've absorbed by osmosis from these traumatized kids, and as sick as it is, I can't say it doesn't make sense. As the first generation made mistake after mistake, the survivors learned that mistakes aren't an option. They aren't forgivable. Knowledge isn't the only thing Castalia's generation passed down; they passed on their trauma, too. Stories of their failures were as common as advice for success. Earth Guardians have a culture all to themselves, a series of customs, traditions, and beliefs passed only between each other. The more I learn of it, the more my heart aches for them. For us, I guess.

…Anyway. My point is, any other goddamn group of idiots would all agree to just give up and go home, but Earth Guardians just straight up don't know how. The Dark Rebellion looks as dead on their feet (or lack thereof, in Fulgora's case) as we do, but they're still charging us down. I suppose having a kaiju on your team can be pretty emboldening. The monster doesn't so much charge down the tunnel as it hobbles aggressively at us, but a creature of that size doesn't need to hobble all that quickly to trample everything in its path. We're still pretty much boned.

"…Amako, how much gas do you have left in the tank?" I ask.

"I can keep fighting for at least ten minutes," she answers.

"Ten minutes? After blowing your load right away like that?" I ask. "That sounds… optimistic."

"I have trained for this," Amaterasu insists. "With my Catharsis, specifically. You have me for ten minutes."

Heh. She's still got a chip on her shoulder from the first time she tried to fight Mel, huh? Good.

"Then you're somehow still our freshest," I say. "We're counting on you, Amako. Princesa, how are you doing?"

"Me?" Aurora asks. "I… I can keep fighting."

As much as I hate to admit it, she probably can, despite her bravado. Therefore she needs to.

"You and Thea back Amaterasu up as much as you can," I order. "We wore the kaiju down for you, Amako, but I think you'll have to be the one to finish it off."

"Hai," she confirms.

"…I'm recovering power pretty fast right now," Thea reports, staring at what we're up against. "Maybe I should take point. The kaiju might not even swing at me."

"You're not fast enough or tough enough to take that gamble," I say. "Focus your magic on making sure that Amaterasu will be. Castalia, how are you doing?"

"…Bad," Castalia huffs.

Oh fuck, she straight up said bad. Okay. Alright. So she's potentially dying. That's not good. If Amaterasu can finish off the kaiju, though, we might be able to take Nanaya hostage and threaten her life for healing…

"I can still fight," Castalia insists.

"You look like you're about to pass out, and if I have to spend the fight acting as your artificial respirator, we'll have an even tougher time of it," I say. "Just save your strength."

"What about me?" Anath asks.

I glance at her. She might be bruised and battered, but Anath's Catharsis makes her stronger the more damaged she is, and she hasn't used it yet. She's potentially our strongest ace in the hole. Arguably, I should be sending her against the kaiju, but…

"…I need you to hold off the entire rest of the Dark Rebellion," I admit. "All four of them. Can you handle it?"

"Heh," Anath smirks, though it's somehow a bit of a sad expression. "I'd love to. Leave it to me."

"What are you going to do?" Thea asks.

"Desperately try to figure out ways to generate power," I answer. "Speaking of: Castalia, wanna make out?"

"Wh—Luna!" Thea squeaks. 

"No," Castalia says. "Kissing isn't something you do to make yourself happy. It is something you do because you are happy."

"I… okay, now might not be the time for your ancient guru wisdom, Castalia," I say.

"Do you truly think you would be happy to kiss me not because of an intrinsic delight you feel, but because we are here, and you are desperate, and several people who want to kill you are approaching at high speeds?" Castalia asks. "Also, you don't currently have lips."

"Well I've got to do something!" I groan. "I don't know how to be happy in this situation!"

"Then be afraid," Castalia suggests.

I hesitate, but considering what's coming at us right now… well, that's a pretty good idea. Eastward emotional alignment at 134% of threshold. Crystal realignment is available. 

"…Okay," I say. "I'm gonna be unable to feel fear for a while, though. I might do something really stupid."

"Promise me you'll stay by my side until it's over," Castalia says.

Ah. Yeah, that would work. Even a stupid, fearless version of myself wouldn't break a promise to Castalia.

"A promise it is, then," I agree. "Here we go."

I glance forward, where the rest of our team is starting to make contact with their designated opponents. It's going to be odd not fearing for their safety, but I have to start the change. 

Amaterasu is as fast as ever, meeting with the kaiju and doing her best to stay out of its reach, striking at its limbs as they try to stomp her into dust. Unfortunately, speed is a poor advantage to have against a being that can force reality to believe its attacks have connected. With their size and reality-defying properties, raw power and durability are the best strengths to have against a kaiju, which is part of why Castalia's team did so well against them. I know these things objectively, but right now it's hard not to believe in Amako despite the odds.

With Thea and Aurora both buffing the hell out of her, she's stronger and faster than I've ever seen before. Her blades cut into the weakened kaiju bit by bit, and her strategy of dodging toward it and ending up underneath its body has the helpful effect of making it jump backward to get an eye on her again, keeping it far away from the backline. Even as she takes a hit that sends her spinning, I can't help but believe in her. Anath pushes past the kaiju just as quickly, rushing down the tunnel to meet the Dark Rebellion head-on.

"Anath, you traitor," Melpomene hisses.

She stands in front of her team, with Nanaya and Veritas flanking behind her like an honor guard. Fulgora lies limply in Veritas' arms, conscious but not seeming to pay attention to anything. 

"You know that you betrayed me first," Anath responds simply. "You've betrayed everyone you've ever cared about, and for what?"

"The power I need to win," Melpomene answers.

"Yeah?" Anath scowls. "Well, let's find out if you've even got that in the first place. Aʙʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ: Cʟᴀᴡs ᴏғ Lᴏᴠᴇ!"

Giant, bright yellow paws superimpose themselves over Anath's hands, the claws extending from them each over a foot long. She leaps straight toward Melpomene, who brings up her shield to block, but Anath grabs onto the shield and uses it to vault herself over Melpomene's back and drop right into the middle of all four Dark Rebellion members instead. 

"Bᴇsᴛɪᴀʟ Wʜɪʀʟᴡɪɴᴅ!" Anath incants, cutting at everyone at once. In her weakened state, even Melpomene cries out in pain, but Veritas manages to shield herself and Fulgora from the attack, staggering back instead.

"Aʀᴍᴀɢᴇᴅᴅᴏɴ Iᴍᴘᴀᴄᴛ!" Nanaya responds, jumping toward Anath, her fist glowing with power.

"Mᴀɴɪᴀᴄ Bʟᴏᴡ!" Anath responds, cross-countering Nanaya's attack and letting the resulting explosion blast her full-force. The ground cracks around her, and her shoulders sag as she uses a burst of gravity to keep herself firmly in place, ignoring the shockwave. Immediately, she drops the extra weight, rushing down Nanaya with a flurry from her magical claws. Nanaya is forced back, giving Anath more space between her and the rest of the Rebellion so she doesn't need to fight them all at once.

We can win! We're going to win! Sure, I won't be able to take on an incarnate form even after my crystals finish realigning, but I'll still be able to help! We're actually not doomed, we—

"Enough!" Melpomene roars, turning and lunging herself at Anath at high speeds. Anath dodges in, barely contorting herself around the lance, but Melpomene just keeps going and cracks her shield into Anath's face, shattering the girl's nose and knocking the back of her head straight into the ground, heels-over-head. "Charge forward!"

She points her lance toward Castalia and me, and the kaiju obeys, ignoring Amaterasu's attempts to distract or stop it as it rushes out of the tunnel and into the liminal zone. Which like, is fine, right? I can take it.

Crystal realignment complete.

Oh, fuck, we're all going to die. We're going to die! All our heavy hitters are too weak to stop this thing. My power reserves are up to eighteen percent, but that's nowhere near enough to take on a goddamn kaiju! We were doomed from the start? What was I even thinking!?

"Luna," Castalia says. "Here."

I glance over at Castalia, and watch her close her eyes and take a deep breath. Then, in the air in front of her, two gloves appear. They're green, fingerless gloves, with sleeves halfway to the elbow and a crystal set into the palm. Her incarnate weapons. I've only ever seen them on her family's video tape.

"Hold out your hands," Castalia instructs, and I obey. She slips the gloves telekinetically onto my hands, the power pulsing within them humming against my frame.

"They're… still fear-aligned?" I comment absently, too stunned to focus on more important questions.

"I never had cause to change them," Castalia answers.

Heh. I… suppose she wouldn't have, would she? I wonder why incarnate weapons don't change like incarnate forms do. Maybe the weapon is tied to the stone…? No, but I use Thalia's stone, don't I? I use six gunswords, while Thalia… used six knives. Hmm.

"Focus," Castalia snaps, an unusual firmness in her tone. Right, yeah. There's a kaiju coming for us. Am I so terrified that I'm dissociating? Doesn't matter. Time to aim.

I bring my wrists together, pointing both my palms at the incoming monster as I center myself. We need that thing gone, or else we'll all die. We need that thing gone, or else we'll all die. We need that thing gone, or else we'll all die…!

"[A ʙ ʀ ᴇ ᴀ ᴄ ᴛ ɪ ᴏ ɴ: D ɪ ᴠ ɪ ɴ ᴇ Sᴛᴀ ʀ ʟ ɪ ɢ ʜ ᴛ C ᴀ ɴ ɴ ᴏ ɴ]"

Converting the familiar spell to green magic—or perhaps back to green magic, as the case may be—is a simple enough task. The terror coursing through me is easy to grasp and easy to discharge, a frantic energy eager to be thrown at anything and everything threatening me. The kaiju is dangerously close when the giant green energy beam launches out of my hands, and it's so focused on destroying us that I manage to land a direct hit. The attack carves through the kaiju's body, gouging a hole wider than I am tall through its entire torso. The beast collapses in front of us and skids to a stop, twitching with what I dearly hope are death throes.

My power reserves have decreased to 0.83%. Emergency shutoff and recovery will initiate if predicted power reserves will fall below 0.5% on next runtime tick. I am completely spent. There's no way I can fight anymore.

"Good… job," Castalia compliments me, breathing heavily for another second or two before her legs give up and she falls down to one knee. 

"Castalia!?" I yelp. Wait, she was giving me even more power through her incarnate weapons, wasn't she? That idiot! "Castalia, hey! Stay with me!"

"Ow," Castalia says, and without further warning she collapses like a dropped doll, falling to the ground and falling out of incarnate form all at once, her frail human body gasping desperately for air on the ground.

I can tell right away. I don't usually pay attention to the depth of detail I can get from my optics, but I can't ignore it now. Her heart isn't beating. She's dying.

"CASTALIA!" I shout. "Aurora! Aurora, quick!"

I get down on my knees, get Castalia onto her back, and immediately start chest compressions. Aurora glances over at us, then breaks off from supporting Amaterasu to rush toward us. Amaterasu herself tries to stop Melpomene's charge, but the stubborn bitch just pushes through Amaterasu's attacks in spite of the wounds they're scoring. She doesn't stop until Anath barrels into her from behind, crashing into her knees and forcing her to the ground.

"What happened!?" Aurora demands, doing her best to give the twitching kaiju a wide berth as she approaches us as quickly as she can.

"She's having a heart attack!" I respond.

"I-I don't know how to heal that!"

"Well, you need to figure it out!"

"Oh, crap crap crap… Lɪʙᴇʀᴀᴄɪᴏ́ɴ: Cᴜʀᴀ Dᴏʀᴀᴅᴀ!"

Aurora's spell engulfs Castalia in power, easing her pain but not restarting her struggling heart. I should have looked up how to turn myself into a magical improvised defibrillator or something. Do those even work when the heart gives out from a degenerative disease, or whatever I assume Castalia has?

With a wordless scream, Fulgora wriggles out of Veritas' arms and launches herself onto Anath's back, yanking her off of Melpomene and onto the ground, where she proceeds to try and beat Anath's face in. Anath isn't having it, though, kicking the fish girl off of herself, grabbing her by the tail, and swinging her down into the ground hard enough to rattle her skull. Still, the distraction is enough.

"No!" Melpomene howls with rage. "No, no, no!"

Smashing her way forward, she cracks Amaterasu in the side of the head with her lance, rushing directly toward Aurora, Castalia and me.

Amaterasu shakes off the blow in spite of the blood pouring from her head, dashing back in and managing to plunge a dagger deep into the side of Melpomene's abdomen. Melpomene's scream of rage becomes a scream of pain, the weapon lodging itself deep into the very real organs of her actual, non-incarnate body. But she still doesn't go down, backhanding Amaterasu with her shield hard enough to knock the girl back into human form herself. Unlike Melpomene, the damage to Amaterasu makes her fall unconscious. Anath finishes beating Fulgora down, only stopping her attack when the poor fish starts clutching her head and sobbing, but by then it's too late.

Melpomene reaches us.

"Lɪʙᴇʀᴀᴄɪᴏ́ɴ: Cᴜʀᴀ Dᴏʀᴀᴅᴀ!" Aurora tries again, but the second Abreaction is no more effective than the first, and using two in a row seriously takes it out of the girl. 

Still, after her final attempt, she turns to face Melpomene, her fists up and knuckledusters ready. She really is the perfect little Earth Guardian. I don't have the power to face Melpomene now, not even with all the fear running through me. After the emotional exhaustion from my Catharsis, the terror of my girlfriend's death is still only enough to barely keep me conscious. I really am pathetic at taking advantage of my emotions. Castalia told me over and over to practice, and yet I still can't do anything but desperately continue chest compressions and hope that Melpomene just falls over instead of killing us.

Out of the corner of my optical sensor, I stare at her. Melpomene. That monster. She's breathing hard and bleeding heavily, blood pouring from the wound Amaterasu inflicted in her side. But still… through two Catharses, dozens of wounds, and what would be an incredibly lethal kidney shot to basically any other living thing, she remains standing. Our only hope now is that this will finally be it. That this is finally all she can take.

"Fᴜᴇʀᴢᴀ Aʀᴅɪᴇɴ—hurk!" Aurora tries, but a swift strike with a shield to her ribs cuts her off mid-spellcast, something that would barely even be possible if Aurora wasn't as exhausted as she was. The blow doesn't send her flying, but it knocks the wind out of her enough to make her crumple to the ground.

Melpomene stares at us all, breathing heavily. I stare back, even as my body continues CPR. I struggle to read Melpomene's expression, and even her emotions. I was expecting her to have killed us by now, but I suppose she's probably struggling to even stand. Her eyes flick between Aurora, Castalia, and me. Aurora, Castalia, and me. Again and again, they pass between us. She's lost a lot of blood. I'm not even sure if she's lucid. 

I know I shouldn't say anything, but I can't help myself. If these will be my last moments, let them be spitting at her feet.

"What's wrong?" I ask. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

She doesn't answer. Her breathing just gets quicker and more ragged. I think I can recognize her expression now. I think it's… panic? 

Far behind her, on the other side of the twitching body of the kaiju, Nanaya moves for the first time in a while. After getting a beating from Anath, she spent a while crouched on the ground and holding her wounds, presumably gathering power to heal them after such an exhausting fight. Now, finally, she stands again, walking calmly to the kaiju's back leg and resting a hand on it.

Almost instantly, the kaiju's entire body thrashes. Its forelegs slam into the ground on either side of us, lifting up its lolling head, looming above us all. Rapidly, pitch-black power gathers in its mouth, soaking up every last bit of the monster's cloak of miasma and concentrating it in a single point before firing it right at us. 

There's nothing any of the three of us can do. Castalia is unconscious and dying. I'm out of power. Aurora is crumpled up on the ground, and nowhere strong enough to stop an attack of this magnitude anyway. We're dead.

…But Melpomene turns around, her shield up. She doesn't even think about it, she just reacts. At the sound of a kaiju's attack, her body moves with practiced expertise. Magic flows out of her, reinforcing her crumbling shield with a blinding glow. The confusion and fear on her face are replaced in an instant with professional calm, her clawed toes digging into the ground as she braces herself against the attack. A powerful force sucks Aurora, Castalia, and me closer to her, gathering us directly behind her an instant before the attack connects.

The beam collapses against her cracked and battered shield, the force of the collision louder than thunder. Melpomene barely slides backward an inch. Her shield, and her power, holds, and it does so until the beam of annihilation finally peters out, the last of the kaiju's power exhausted. It collapses to the ground and finally, thankfully, starts to dissolve.

Behind it, far from us, Nanaya stares at the scene with her eyes narrowed in boiling fury. But all she does is click her tongue… and then turns away, vanishing into thin air. She knows Melpomene's stealth magic…?

My thoughts are jolted back as Melpomene falls to one knee, panting heavily. Her lance crumbles to dust in her hand, the woman simply out of the power necessary to sustain it. But still, even through that, her shield remains on her arm. 

"…Aurora," Melpomene croaks.

Aurora doesn't respond, but she's listening. We're all listening.

"Abandon your healing spells," Melpomene says. "True healing cannot come from your stone. It comes from your soul."

"I… I don't know how to…" Aurora stammers, still struggling to breathe after Melpomene's own blow.

"You do," Melpomene insists, cutting her off. "You are an Earth Guardian, Aurora. You have to, and so you will."

Aurora, as overwhelmed as she is from all this, takes a deep breath and centers herself.

"…That's right," she says. "You're right."

"Hurry," Melpomene says. "We don't have much time."

At first, I assume she's talking about the fact that Castalia is dying. And maybe she is, but when I feel the sudden, overwhelming surge of despair over by Anath and Fulgora, I start to have my doubts.

- - -

My head is still ringing from Anath's beatdown. She really was playing with me before, wasn't she? She fought differently today, and the bruises all over my body can feel it. I can't believe how stupid and weak I am. This pathetic body can't even walk, but most damningly of all… I lost. We LOST!

I'm starting to suspect that's a good thing.

We can't lose. Not yet. Not like this. It's too soon!

No. Fulgora, stop. It's over. Please, just stop.

I'm TRYING, Antiphera! I've been trying since all of this began! But it's not over. I've failed every time. The world won't let me stop!

I can't help but sob pathetically on the ground, curling into a ball and praying all of it will end. The pain is too much. It's just too much. Not my body's pain, that doesn't matter. What hurts is the thought that I'll have to live through this again. That I'll have to live through existing as me. I can't stand being a failure. I can't stand being weak. I can't stand being pathetic. I can't stand being useless. I can't stand any of it. All I've done since killing Minerva is fail. I can't do anything. I'm not worth anything. 

I'm sorry, Antiphera.

What…?

I said I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. I'm sorry that you had to share a body with someone as horrible as me. All of it… I was just being delusional. I didn't have anything but delusions to hang onto.

I… thank you, Fulgora. That means a lot. But please… we both have the ability to be good again. We do! You're not worthless. We can't be worthless. Minerva was part of us!

She was. You're right. I'm sorry I didn't see that. Minerva was part of us… and when she died, she left me alone. Alone and empty, all until you came along. She died… and I still lived. That's how it works, apparently.

Wait. Wait, Fulgora, no! You don't have to do this!

But I should. I should do this. That way, everything will be fixed, right? If I take on my incarnate form, and I die, I'll stay dead. But you… you'll live on. It's what Minerva and I should have done from the start. She would have been fine without me. But I'm nothing, now. Worse than nothing, actually. I've made everyone worry, made everyone suffer on my behalf. I acted out and hurt people. I hurt you. I just… 

I just don't want anyone to feel too bad when you have to kill me. I want to be an irredeemable monster, because I deserve the fate of one. I want someone, anyone, to take my life and call it justice. Because it will be. But right now, I seem to be the only one who can understand that! They just don't get it, so I have to make them see!

"Lᴇᴛ Mᴇ Sʜᴏᴡ Yᴏᴜ!" I beg, and my transformation stone cracks.

The change begins, and it's like no incarnate form I've ever had before. I grow, and I grow, and I grow, limbs expanding and bones shuddering as the force of my despair starts to twist the world around me. I roar, and the voice that comes out of me is barely my own.

"Wʀᴇᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ Mᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ Rᴇᴘʀᴇʜᴇɴsɪʙʟᴇ Fᴜʟɢᴏʀᴀ!"

- - -

Oh my god, she's turning into a kaiju. Fulgora is turning into a goddamn kaiju!? We just finished off a kaiju! We shouldn't have to fight a second one! 

Fulgora's body shudders and twists as it grows, maintaining the same general shape as her physical body but abandoning every shred of its humanity. Jagged scales replace soft skin. The twisted visage of a deep-sea fish replaces her familiar face. Lighting arcs across her body, crackling between spires of twisted teal growths. Plumes of despair-tinted mist waft around her like a thinner version of a normal kaiju's miasmic cloak. The lionfish-like spines on her back pour miniature poison rivers from their tips, splashing down her back and sizzling against the ground. Propped up on her hands and tail, she looks no more mobile on land than she was moments prior, but given a kaiju's physics-breaking proclivities, anything could be on the table.

"Fulgora!? Hey! Hey, Fulgora! What's going on!?" Veritas asks in a desperate panic, and a spike of cold fear rushes through me as she steps towards the giant monster radiating an unquenchable desire for death. With a roar sounding almost like a sob, Fulgora swings a giant arm towards the source of the voice, either not recognizing or not caring about its source.

"Pᴀssɪᴏɴ Sᴛᴇᴘ!" Anath incants, colliding with Veritas and half-tackling, half-carrying the girl out of the way of the attack. She tosses Veritas towards the rest of us, then turns to face Fulgora head-on.

"Wha—hey! What's going on? What's happening to her!?" Veritas shouts in desperation.

"Don't worry," Anath says calmly. "We'll save her. You protect the others, okay?"

"NO ONE IS GOING TO BE SAVING ME!" Fulgora shrieks, slamming her palm down on where Anath was standing, but the girl tumbles out of the way. "THERE IS NOTHING TO SAVE!"

In front of me, Melpomene sighs, staring at the scene. Her back is to us. I'm still giving CPR on the ground as Aurora tries desperately to bring out something inside herself that she doesn't know how to find. The blood pouring from the deep puncture in Melpomene's abdomen has slowed, but I'm not sure it's a sign of her healing or simply running low on blood. Nonetheless, she stands tall. My view of Fulgora has to first go past her.

She adjusts the weight of the cracked shield on her left arm. Her right hand flexes, grasping something invisible, and piece by piece her incarnate lance starts to reform itself in her grip, assembling like someone glueing together pieces of a shattered vase.

"…What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I don't know," Melpomene answers.

"What?"

"I said I don't know!" she snaps. "I won't repeat it again."

"You can barely walk," I point out.

"Shut up," she growls, taking a defiant step forward. Toward Fulgora. There's a shaking to her legs, but she doesn't stumble.

"Why do you even care?" I ask. "You're the one who made her like this in the first place."

"Shut up!"

It's hard to. I don't have the energy to do much other than talk, and my hate for you is overwhelming. The fact that you saved us doesn't change that. If anything, it intensifies it. Watching you stand between me and danger, watching you act heroic now, of all times… it's unbearable. It would be so much easier to hate you if you weren't like this. If you didn't have the capacity for such strength and determination. 

Except… that's not quite right, is it? If you were weak, if you were inconsequential, I wouldn't have to hate you. I could just ignore you. It is the power you hold, the skills you possess, and the breadth of distance between us that fosters a hate this strong. If I could just push you aside, if I could just make you something beneath me, if I could close the gap between us… hate would be pointless. 

But I can't. I will never be able to escape the shadow of what you've done. You're too powerful, too inescapable, too unavoidable. You infected every part of my life long before I ever met you. You've shaped and broken the people I love most. I can't stand having to look up at your back and getting forced to confront how strong you really are. 

"…While I hope you die," I tell her, "you'd better not do it before stopping her first."

Melpomene scoffs. The arrogance of the sound is somewhat lessened by the blood dripping from her lips.

"As if I would let myself be bested by some stupid girl having a tantrum," she sneers.

"Wow," I comment. "That's easily in the top five most hypocritical things you've ever said. Well, maybe top seven."

Melpomene starts to sigh, briefly chokes, and then spits out a globule of blood. It splatters against the ground and sticks there, not dissipating the way an incarnate form's blood does.

"…I really do deserve you, don't I?" she mutters to herself, and trudges off towards Fulgora. 

For once, I'm too offended and too exhausted to think of a witty comeback, so I just seethe quietly to myself as Melpomene returns to the battle. Fulgora swings blindly at Anath, her transformation apparently having not fixed her eyesight, but when Melpomene gets close Fulgora's attention locks onto her completely.

"MELPOMENE!" she shouts. "IT'S TIME YOU FINISHED WHAT YOU STARTED!"

"I don't have time for a charity case," Melpomene answers back. "If you want me to kill you so badly, you're going to have to earn it."

What a shitty thing to say. Everything about this is terrible. But it's all I can do to hold onto hate and try not to think about how long it's been since the blood in Castalia's body moved without my palms forcing the pressure into her heart. My body acts automatically, using a combination of official guidelines and precise measurements to try and desperately keep oxygen flowing to my girlfriend's brain. I have no idea how long we have, but it all relies on the eleven year old beside me.

"Por favor, Dios," Aurora whispers, shaking beside me. "Por favor."

Golden light glows around her hands, and she presses them against either side of Castalia's head, mumbling desperate prayers under her breath. Magic flows into Castalia's body, but as best I can tell, it doesn't seem to be having much effect. Still, my girlfriend's heart fails to beat on its own.

Meanwhile, Fulgora roars in the background, swinging wildly at Melpomene's battered body. A giant hand comes down like it's swatting a fly, but Melpomene hunkers behind her weapons, holding both her shield and her lance above her head and letting Fulgora stab herself with her own momentum. It works perfectly, Melpomene's huge weapon poking out of the back of Fulgora's hand, but Melpomene still gets nearly flattened in the process, her knees buckling as the ground shatters beneath her at the force of the blow.

"DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU!" Fulgora shrieks, lifting up her wounded hand and slamming it down again, ignoring the pain. This time, Melpomene leaps out of the way, her wings snapping open as she takes to the air to dodge the next blow.

"Don't get so full of yourself!" Melpomene shouts, brandishing her lance towards Fulgora. "If you're as irredeemable as you think you are, then what makes you believe you deserve relief!?"

"Aurora," a small voice near us speaks up, taking my attention away from the fight. It's Veritas. Her eyes are wide and puffy.

"…Veritas," Aurora addresses her grumpily.

"Aurora, I… I think I screwed up," Veritas sniffs.

"Now isn't really the time, Veritas."

"I'm sorry!" Veritas blubbers. "I just wanted her back! I thought she would know what to do, I thought…"

"Veritas!" Aurora snaps. "Be quiet and just help me."

Veritas sniffs.

"…Okay," she agrees.

Veritas walks over to us, clearly not sure about how to do that in the first place. She's the younger of the pair, and lost her entire family before becoming an Earth Guardian. The poor girl always had a bit of a chip on her shoulder, perhaps not believing herself to be as strong or as smart as her older teammates. And to be frank… that would be a correct assessment. Aurora displays a precocious cleverness that borders on sheer genius, while Veritas… well, Veritas is just some deeply unfortunate kid. How could she even try to help Aurora in this situation? She barely even understands what's going on. 

…Still, while she may be a child, Veritas has clearly been an Earth Guardian for a lot longer than I have. She kneels down next to Aurora, careful not to disturb her, and falls out of incarnate form entirely, weapons and armor vanishing into motes of light. Then, she leans over to her partner, a yellow mage struggling to focus through stress and terror, and gives her a tight hug.

"You can do it, Aurora," Veritas says with the perfect conviction only a child can have. "You can do anything."

Her eyes squeezed tightly shut, Aurora nods, leaning into the comfort. And my sensors… detect a single beat of Castalia's heart.

- - -

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why is this still happening to me? It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense. I just want it all to end!

I smash the ground around me, the asphalt and concrete of the liminal zone shattering like fragile toys under my hands. The world has become so small in comparison to my pain. It barely even feels real anymore. I suppose that's just part of going insane.

Melpomene flits around me, the only spot of my perception that still feels sharp. Her lance is barely a bee sting. Even when she stabs me with it, it's lacking in the real power I would expect from her. She's half-dead, or dying. She can barely fight. So why can't I hit her? And why won't she shut up!?

"You miserable cretin!" she shouts at me. "Who told you that you could give up!? I don't recall giving you permission!"

"SHUT UP!" I shout back, trying to crush her with a fist, bolts of lightning falling around the site of the impact. One of them hits her dead-on, but even though I know it hurts her she acts like it doesn't even happen. God damnit, if she's so strong, why doesn't she just kill me already!?

"You think I give a shit about what you want!?" Melpomene roars. "If you think you deserve to suffer then suffer more. Don't put the responsibility on me!"

"I HATE YOU!" I shriek.

"Why, because I stabbed the version of you that liked to pretend to be a child?" she sneers. "She was at least strong enough that I had to kill her with a cheap shot."

My only response is a wordless scream, the storm around me picking up as I desperately try to smash that annoying voice of hers into paste. 

"There you go!" Melpomene mocks me. "That's the Dark Rebellion way! Find yourself a hatred worth living for!" 

But there is nothing worth living for! Not anymore! Isn't it obvious that my death would be the best thing that could happen to all of you? Antiphera would be free of me. The Earth Guardians wouldn't have to worry about their cowardly failure of a warrior. Veritas and Aurora wouldn't have to deal with their broken mess of a leader getting them killed. Castalia wouldn't have to think about her fuckup of a student. Chloe wouldn't have to waste her time trying to help someone who can't be fixed. And Jim can finally live his life without having to revolve everything he does around me and my problems! 

EVERYBODY WINS!

"No!" Anath shouts, suddenly landing hard on top of my head, claws digging into my scalp as she tries to punch me with tiny, doll-sized fists. "No, no, no! None of that makes any sense! Everybody cares about you!"

Then let them care about the better version of me I'll be leaving behind. The only way I can fix myself is to carve out the rot I've become!

"You're so stupid!" Anath shouts. "Aaaaagh! I love you I love you I love you I love you I—"

With a crack of pain on my head and a warm, wet splatter on my hand, Anath finally shuts up. Slapping myself as hard as I can, I crushed her into silence. I don't care about your love, Anath. Even if it's true, it's just more proof that you're a fool.

"Cᴀᴛʜᴀʀsɪs," a pained voice hisses from between my fingers. "Lᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴏᴏᴅ!"

My hand, splattered with gore, starts getting pushed away from my scalp. I press harder, but Anath lifts my hand away, shaking, bloody, and free.

"Even if you don't want it," she says, "I'll never let you forget that it's real."

No, no, no, no! No one is killing me! Why doesn't anyone want to kill me!?

"We don't want to kill you because we care about you!" Anath insists, still spouting her insanity.

"We don't want to kill you," Melpomene corrects, "because you don't deserve the luxury of running away. If you die, it will be while trying to finish your duty, not because you're having a childish fit where you complain we aren't doing your fucking homework for you. You're not allowed to die, Fulgora. You never were. Now stop screaming and accept it."

There's a part of me, a part that's probably named Antiphera, that understands Anath's words are honest, while Melpomene's words are callous and insane. They're not something you're supposed to ever say. But the rest of me can't help but agree that having a responsibility makes a lot more sense than having love and hope.

But I don't want it. I don't. I'm tired of responsibility. And maybe that is childish. Maybe that is selfish. But still… there's enough blood on my hands already that I may as well go for broke. With tears pouring from my sightless eyes, I gather my power to try and kill them all.

Now, though, I'm not sure if I can still believe that I want to succeed.

- - -

Magic… is a miracle. It's powerful beyond belief. Sitting here, witnessing this, I start to realize the full scope of what the Preservers have refused to share with us. Magic could be used to cure cancer. It could be used to end starvation. It could be used to travel the stars. Its power is limitless, infinite, and impossibly beautiful.

I know this because Castalia takes a breath… and opens her eyes.

"Tha… lia…?" she mumbles groggily.

Glancing around, Castalia takes stock of the situation. She's breathing, actually breathing all on her own as Aurora's power pours into her. When Castalia sees Aurora's face hanging over her instead of Thalia's, there's a brief flash of pain and confusion before her dream-like state of consciousness snaps to sudden lucidity.

And so, with that painful memory fresh in her mind, Castalia returns. 

"I Kɴᴏᴡ Wʜᴏ I Aᴍ. Lᴏᴠɪɴɢ Dᴇsᴛʀᴏʏᴇʀ Dᴇᴠᴏᴛᴇᴅ Cᴀsᴛᴀʟɪᴀ!"

"Hey, wait," I caution. "Are you sure you should be doing that? You almost died."

Castalia floats up into the air, her body glowing as she surveys the battlefield. The screaming monster Fulgora has become seems to be charging up some kind of massive stormcloud over the battlefield while Anath and Melpomene fruitlessly strike her with barely enough energy to cast spells.

"…It seems I have to," Castalia answers, "and so I will. Is that Fulgora?"

The words hurt. It's hard to think about why. With her awake, the fear that was keeping me conscious rapidly starts to drain. I just want her to be safe. Is that so much to ask?

"I will be fine, Luna," Castalia says. "It was a very restful nap."

That's the biggest and most obvious lie I've ever heard in my entire life.

"…Okay," I say anyway. "I'm about to shut off. You can all leave me here and go fight; I'll be fine. Just have Uma'tama stick an LCI in me when we all go home, alright?"

What else can I say? I really am out of power. I can't even move.

"I will relay your instructions," Castalia agrees. "Aurora, Veritas. Can you fight?"

"Y-yes," Aurora insists.

"I can," Veritas nods.

"Good. With me, Guardians."

She rockets off towards Fulgora and the others, Veritas and Aurora lagging behind. Melpomene glances her way as Castalia approaches, the pained grimace on her face melting into a sardonic smirk. 

"Of course you woke up," Melpomene complains. "You still remember how to fight kaiju?"

That comment actually manages to evoke a facial expression from Castalia, which thoroughly pisses me off. Castalia raises an entire eyebrow at her former teammate.

"…Rather better than you do, I'd imagine," she answers.

"Hah! I wish I could argue with that, but I'm going to be useless here," Melpomene says. "Even I'm surprised that I'm still moving."

"Cᴀᴛʜᴀʀsɪs: Oᴍɴɪʙᴏᴏsᴛ!"

Those two words are the worst things I could have heard. My master, emerging from some rubble where she'd been hiding, casts her strongest spell on Melpomene. The spell she used to help me slay a kaiju.

Melpomene looks as surprised as I feel hurt.

"…Thea?" Melpomene manages.

"Prove it to me," Thea says. "Prove to me that you're still the same person I knew."

"That's quite impossible, I'm afraid," Melpomene answers. "But… I'll try."

"NO MORE!" Fulgora roars, the storm crackling overhead. "NO MORE! Cᴀᴛʜᴀʀsɪs: Hᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ's Dᴀᴍɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ!"

"Cᴀᴛʜᴀʀsɪs," Castalia counters calmly. "Tʜᴀʟɪᴀ's Cᴏɴsᴛᴇʟʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ."

The storm above roars with unrelenting thunder, and meets the calm and somber light of the night sky. I recognize it now. The shape of the stars she summons. And when heaven's wrath meets with heaven's regrets, it is the light of the stars that wins out over the dark of the storm.

"…Hah," Melpomene laughs, her voice cracking a little as she stares at the display. "Of course."

And then, that's all I get to see. My body automatically forces my consciousness to shut off its higher functions, and I'm gone in an instant. I descend into a dream of terrors and threats, barely understanding a single thing other than fear.

It's dark.

It's cold.

I'm too weak to stop the monsters from killing them.

And everyone who survives… decides they love Melpomene again…

…

…I don't know how long I end up being unconscious. That's immediately something that puts me on edge. With the exception of catastrophic damage like the eight months after Castalia blasted me, I can still keep perfect time while I'm out. I suppose I was pretty fucked up after today, though, so it's not inconceivable that my body had to save even the miniscule amount of power my internal timekeeper runs on, right?

…No, actually, my power levels are at a full 5.3 percent. And… rapidly climbing!? I flicker my optical sensors back on, and… ah!

"Amako?" I manage.

"Luna," Amaterasu responds, her hand on an LCI she's currently injecting into my port. Nearly half of my plating has been removed; I guess maybe it took her a while to find the right spot.

"Did anybody die?" I ask, looking around. It seems like the most prudent question, and thankfully it's not one she's bothered by.

"No," she answers. "It is over. We… won."

There's a hesitance in her claim there, and I can see why. The first and most immediately obvious thing to see as I look out at the remains of the battlefield is the giant, kaiju-sized hole in reality that happens to still be open. Glowing, criss-crossed lines of magic form as a temporary plug to the breach, one that Uma'tama actually seems to be currently reinforcing, the little cat flying high in the air and weaving spells together across the yawning chasm.

The scope of said spells are… enormous. I'm definitely going to want to study it in more detail soon, but first I do a quick head count to confirm Amaterasu's claim. Castalia is easy to find, floating steadily in the air. Melpomene sits underneath her, arms tied by magical bindings behind her back. The purple transformation stone she normally wears in her hair is gone. Thea holds it instead, sitting a safe distance away from its owner and staring at it pensively.

I move on immediately, wanting to make sure I see everyone is alive with my own optical hardware. Fulgora is curled up in a ball on the ground, her head in Aurora's lap as she sobs incoherently. Veritas stands awkwardly nearby. It's not great, but it's better than her trying to kill everyone and also herself. Anath lies on the ground next to them. She's a total bloody mess, but she's breathing and probably rather satisfied with the day's events. The only person I don't see is Nanaya, but I assume she probably just fucked off after seeing her team was about to lose.

"So it's over, huh?" I ask, using a decent chunk of the LCI's energy to convert my crystal structure back to yellow. Fuck this green mage shit, I don't remember my dreams all that well but I definitely remember that they sucked. 

"It would seem so," Amaterasu agrees diplomatically. She has her doubts, clearly, but that's only reasonable. 

She finishes injecting the LCI and I get to my feet, standing up and summoning all my missing plates back on. Ugh, even the plate covering my ESB port was removed. I'll need to get Thea to clean all the dust and grime out of it later. I'll decline from complaining to Amaterasu, though, since she's the one who saved me from nightmare land.

"Castalia!" I call out. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Luna," Castalia answers, turning to face me. "You are awake. Good. I am fine. I feel better than usual, actually."

"True healing is that crazy, huh?" I ask. "Good fucking job, Aurora!"

"Language," Aurora mutters exhaustedly at me. 

I laugh.

"You got it, doc!" I agree. 

It seems Uma'tama has noticed the commotion, as they float down to address me.

"Luna," they nod. "We are glad to see you functional again."

"Glad to be functional," I answer. "Thanks for the LCI."

"Of course," they nod, and then they turn away from me and toward Melpomene. I suppose I can't blame them. The two have… a lot of history.

"Hello," Uma'tama greets her. "Thank you for your patience while I sealed the rift."

"I suppose we can call it patience," Melpomene grumbles, jingling her restraints.

"…Regardless," Uma'tama continues, "it… has been a very long time, hasn't it? Nearly seven years now."

"It has," Melpomene agrees.

"I think… we owe you an apology, Melpomene," Uma'tama says. "I owe you an apology."

Melpomene's face sets into a forcibly neutral expression.

"We are foolish," Uma'tama explains. "We have always been foolish. I am no exception. I failed you in almost every conceivable way you could have been failed. I am sure that even now, I do not fully understand the depths of that failure. But I know now, I know that it is there. I know that something must be done about it. I will do everything in my power to right our wrongs. And whatever insights you have as to what they may be… I would hear them. I will make us all hear them, if I can."

Melpomene says nothing for quite a long time. Seconds stretch into minutes as she stares up at the Preserver, her emotions an exhausted storm. Finally, when she speaks, it is first punctuated by a laugh only one step removed from a sob.

"That… that's it, then?" she asks. "Just like that?"

"I'm sorry," Uma'tama says. "Is it not enough?"

"Enough? It's not a matter of enough. It's not… it has nothing to do with…"

Melpomene starts struggling for words, the sob she barely staved off returning quickly.

"It's just… god," she chokes. "Why couldn't you… why couldn't you have said something like that seven years earlier…?"

"Because it took me fifteen years," Uma'tama answers, "to understand what you had seen from the start."

Again, the sobbing switches on a dime back to laughter, tears streaming from Melpomene's eyes and carving clean lines down a face smeared with grime and blood.

"It took you… it took you…!? We were dying from the very start! What finally tipped you off, you pathetic, miserable little moron!?" Melpomene shouts at them. "At what point did you begin to imagine, to start to conceive, that you might be the one fucking everything up!? That you might be making a mistake modeling your entire planet-saving rescue plan after a goddamn Japanese children's cartoon!? YOU GENOCIDAL MONSTER! You must be nearly as stupid as you claim to be if you think I'm buying that!"

I'm on high alert the moment she starts ranting, but Melpomene exhausts herself just as quickly as she worked herself up. Between the back-to-back fights, the injuries, and the emotional agony this entire day has been for everyone, even she finally seems to have limits.

"…It's true," Thea chimes in. "They're really stupid. I think their real bodies are like… barnacles or coral or something. Evolutionarily speaking, it's probably a wonder they have brains at all."

The confirmation from Thea throws her for a bit of a loop, her face twisting through several different expression in rapid succession before settling on one.

"Snrk—pahahahahaha!" Melpomene busts out laughing again. "Barnacles? Barnacles!? I've been… hahahaha!"

"Thea, dear…" Uma'tama says hesitantly. Thea just shrugs. She seems to be in a really dark mood, but we kind of have more pressing concerns than that right now so I'll deal with it later.

…Wait.

Wait! Oh, shit, what!? Is… is Thea not my master anymore!? What's going on? What happened!? Who's in charge of me? Why don't I know who's in charge of me!?

"Whatever," Melpomene sighs. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. The Dark Rebellion is over. We're done for. Be whatever brainless moron of a sea creature you desire. I… give up."

"Are you certain, Melpomene?"

I freeze, looking around on high alert. The voice seems to come from every direction at once, yet nowhere at all. I recognize it, though. We all do.

"…What would you have me do, Nanaya?" Melpomene asks. "We have nothing. We have no one. Your dimensional portal device has been destroyed, and our only good plan has been thwarted."

"Has it truly?" Nanaya asks. "I suppose that is up to you. Because we know it is still possible, don't we? Possible for you personally, even. No technology needed. After all, if Castalia can do it…"

I recognize the moment things click for her. I can see, so horrifyingly clearly, the madness return to Melpomene's eyes when she understands those implications. I know it the moment her gaze lands on the Preserver floating ignorantly in front of her, too stupid and too slow to realize how badly she needs to get out of the way.

"Uma'tama!" I shout, but Melpomene is already lunging. Castalia rushes to hold her back with telekinesis, but not before Melpomene shatters her bindings and grabs a fistful of floating fur. 

Melpomene's wounds start knitting themselves back together, so I lunge forward and punch as hard as I can at the highest probability spot I can calculate. As usual, I kick ass at math, and sock an invisible Nanaya right in the jaw. She turns and runs. Thea grabs Uma'tama from the other side, trying to yank them out of Melpomene's grasp as Castalia lifts everyone into the air, doing her best to separate them all as well.

But no one, no one, is as stubborn as Melpomene. With a furious scream, she maintains her hold, and moments later her scream is matched by a higher-pitched one from Uma'tama themselves, full of terror and pain. Melpomene plunges her clawed fingers inside Uma'tama's stomach, getting both hands deep into the wound and yanking it apart, shredding the constructed form that composes the Uma'tama we know yet holding firm to its connection. Melpomene's power traces its way all the way to the other side, a roaring inferno burning a path between worlds. With one final scream, Melpomene rips open yet another hole, a portal shining in the sky and leading to somewhere impossible, unknowable, and forbidden. 

The realm of the Preservers… has been linked to ours.

Finally, Castalia restrains Melpomene again, forcing her back to the ground, but the damage is done. Each of us stare at the hole in the sky, maybe three feet in diameter at most, still crackling with unstable power. And before any of us can say a word… it suddenly starts gushing out a torrent of water, raining down from the sky and soaking all of us to the bone. My sensors indicate that the water is salty.

"Hah," Melpomene giggles. "Barnacles." 

Then, she passes out, leaving us with no Preserver oversight and a very, very big mess.