88. Oop, That's A Death Laser

A/N: Hello, everyone. Apologies that this one is so late. A very serious emergency came up that forced it back. I'm still pretty stressed about it. "But Natalie," the scary version of you that lives in my head screams at me, "these suspicious 'emergencies' keep happening over and over and delaying chapters that I'm paying you to write for me! Nobody can have this many emergencies!" and to that I can only say god I wish. I wish that were true. Fuck. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

First, nothingness. Then, a blinding light. Agnus Dei unleashes her power in a brilliant flash, turning the spot where Rafflesia and I had been standing into glowing, molten Earth. Jesus, that is deadly. 

…To most people, anyway. As much as it would certainly annihilate whatever flesh I'm currently using, Agnus Dei's greatest strength is working against her today. All of her powers—the flight, the lasers, and whatever nonsense she used to survive Blossom's attack—do not require her to extend her domain beyond her physical body to accomplish them. The death beams have to originate from inside her domain, but they remain death beams once they leave it. This gives her a nearly-unbreakable level of hostile power resistance, an essential trait for fighting Angels inside Queen territory, but it also means she'd probably never even consider trying to smother my domain with her own, or use her domain as a form of advanced sensory perception to find me. 

"No one…?" Agnus mutters quietly to herself, clicking her tongue in irritation as her eyes scan around the devastation she just wrought. If what the colonel told us is true, and Agnus Dei's real power is becoming stronger every time she kills someone, she can probably feel when she does or doesn't successfully murder something. 

I'm currently possessing a rat that's rapidly fleeing the scene of the destruction, but that's not a tenable situation for long. One burning question I have right now is 'how did she target us from outside the building?' Not to mention 'how did she know I was here in the first place?' Or, if not me specifically, how did she know there was enemy action taking place in the interrogation room? Did a precognitive tell her where I'd be? No, that would be far too unreliable. She was tracking Rafflesia's current position and cutting off our escape routes in advance. It was reactive, not proactive. She already has flight, lasers, durability, healing… who's to say she doesn't have another power that I don't know about? If her 'real ability' is to become more powerful when she murders things, where do all her secondary abilities come from? What determines them?

Does… does she determine them? Can she give herself more powers?

Shit, that's probably exactly how it works, isn't it? The only other possibility I can think of is that Blasphemy determines her secondary powers, but since the gods normally have full control over every single power they give out, I wouldn't be surprised if Blasphemy reversed the script on principle. It fits with the timeline I was given, too. The colonel noted that the first thing she did was learn to fire her energy blasts, and that her ability to fly came after. It's entirely possible that the regeneration ability she displayed when Blossom nearly killed her is something she came up with on the spot to survive. 

So what kind of power would she give herself to know what was going on around the base? It would have to be an ability that works independently of her domain, or else she'd be breaking the theme with all her other abilities and leaving herself vulnerable. I halfway suspect she fancies herself a real-life Superwoman, so… super-hearing, maybe? 

The mouse skitters into a pocket of the base not currently covered by any domains, so I take the opportunity to consume it and grow myself a bit larger of a brain so I don't succumb to animal instincts. Glancing out from behind cover, I spot Agnus Dei slowly ascending higher into the sky, glancing around rapidly. Maybe super-vision, too. Then again, she probably already had above-human vision ability given her preferred combat altitude.

Anyway, for obvious reasons, the alarms sound and the base goes on high alert. Unfortunately, I doubt these are the 'Agnus Dei has gone crazy and attacked her own base for no reason' alarms. Domains widen all around me, multiple brushing up against my own, but most people can barely even feel domain qualia. Will they actually recognize mine as out of place? I suppose, to be safe, I'll have to assume they do.

Secrecy was important on the way in so I wouldn't end up putting Artifact in danger. While it's a shame I didn't find a good opportunity to spy on the military's plans, now that I've completed my main objective I can rush back to the Queen of Division's domain at full speed. The military front isn't really positioned to stop people from leaving the base, and I'm honestly not too worried about a lineup of 'domain cows,' as we used to call them, from preventing my escape. But right as I'm about to teleport over in that direction, a faint voice stops me in my tracks.

"You listening, Seraphim?" Agnus Dei asks, my excellent hearing catching her words despite her altitude. "Let's talk."

Talk? Why the hell would she want to talk now, of all times? Is she just trying to figure out where I am? I suppose I'm set up to teleport either way, so it's not a big deal if she blasts me… gah, why am I even considering this? It's… ugh. It's stupid. I know that. But there's just too huge a part of me that wants to give it a chance. Talking is the one thing I've always considered myself good at. I'm a peacemaker at heart, someone who always prefers to stop conflicts with words instead of violence. No matter how small the chance, I want to take it.

But I'm not going to be that stupid about it. Forming myself a combat-ready body, I bring Blossom outside my domain as well, forming her next to me and silencing her with a puff of pheromones. Hopefully, any of the domains keeping track of me that didn't already know who I am won't get startled by a new domain appearing out of nowhere. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that weird.

"We're attempting negotiations," I tell her. "Our council member is already safe."

"That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Blossom says.

"Disagreement. Stupid would be expecting it to work," I say. "This decision is made based on principle, not probability of success."

"Comprehension. You are seeking a distant possibility. Very well, you have my support."

I nod, taking a deep breath.

"What did you want to talk about?" I whisper.

Immediately, Agnus Dei's gaze snaps towards me. I'm ready to run, but I don't. Not yet. If she's going to shoot, I'll let her be the first to do so. She's already betrayed that implicit trust once, but everyone should get a second chance.

When she meets my determined gaze, a grin crawls up her face.

"Wow," she says. "I did not expect it to be that easy."

"Sometimes, all you have to do is ask," I whisper again, since she clearly does have super-hearing. "So? What is it?"

Blossom is standing out of sight, her domain as wide as it will go as it wraps comfortingly around my own. If Agnus Dei comes close, she might attack even if the conversation seems to be going well.

"I suppose I'm just curious," she admits. "Do you talk to God?"

"I think I have a fundamentally different understanding of the situation than you do," I say. "But yes. I speak with the divine."

"We've been chosen, you and I," she says. "More so even than the other blessed. They've started to look to us, instead of the moon."

Right, Rafflesia mentioned that. Does that mean Angus Dei is a Grand Queen candidate, like I am? One supported by Blasphemy? It's possible she has other gods supporting her, too. Any one of them that isn't blessing a member of my group could potentially be backing her. That would be… what? Contradiction and Bliss? Both of which bless influential superheroes that she has a personal relationship with…

"We should be working together, don't you think?" Agnus Dei asks. "The era of kings and Queens has returned, and we've been chosen to lead it."

"And what makes you say that?" I ask neutrally.

"Well, you've been fraternizing with the aliens, haven't you? The way their societies are structured is the only way a society can be structured in an era where God's blessings are once again imbued in men," Agnus Dei says.

"I'll admit, I wasn't expecting America's strongest patriot to be a monarchist," I comment, still probing for more information.

"It's not a matter of monarchy," she argues, shaking her head. "It's a matter of divinity. The prophets of the Bible had God's favor and could wield God's might. The kings of the world claimed similar justification—their so-called 'divine right to rule'—but it was nothing but a lie they used to maintain social power. They had no real power, for real power only comes from God."

"But we have power," I say. "Therefore, you believe we have a right to rule? Are not all people created equal? Many biblical prophets never became kings, or even leaders."

I might not be a religious person, but I can talk the talk. If I can pick apart her supposed beliefs, there's a chance I can change her mind… but a much higher chance that I'll simply get to the core of what actually motivates her when her arguments fall apart.

"It's only reasonable to assume people are created equal when God does not publicly show His favor. But that's no longer the case," she insists.

"By that logic, aren't alien colonies just as blessed as we are?" I ask.

I expect that to be the thread that starts to unravel everything. I mean, it's such an obvious flaw in her logic. To my surprise, though, she just seems excited.

"Yes," she agrees. "That's exactly what it means. You want peace, don't you, Seraphim? You want this war to end? I do too. It's clear to me now. The Angels were only here to test us, and to teach us. Once we have a Queen of our own, we can finally interact with them as equals."

Huh. That… is admittedly a different kind of crazy than what I was expecting.

"Have you ever heard of eusocialism?" I ask.

The question seems to throw her for a loop, which is a good first step.

"You mean like… communism?" she asks. 

Which. No. No, I do not mean that.

"I'm not referring to a governmental system or policy," I say. "I'm talking about insects."

"Insects?"

"Yes," I confirm. "Insect species with queens, like bees, ants, and termites. 'Eusocialism' is the term used to describe the way their colonies function."

"I was under the distinct impression, Seraphim, that you were a firm believer that the aliens were intelligent beings, not insects," Agnus Dei says, her smile finally starting to drop.

"They are," I confirm. "There's no doubt about that. But the Queens of alien colonies are more comparable to that of insects than they are to human monarchs. While it's true that the powered members of a colony are in charge, the Queen herself doesn't have any more voting power than the rest of her council. She has more responsibilities—such as marking, protecting, and monitoring the entirety of the colony's territory as well as birthing the workers and soldiers—but politically speaking, she is officially an equal member of the council with perhaps an above-average ability to command respect. Alien society is primarily an oligarchy, not a monarchy."

Which, frankly, isn't much better, but that's a problem for another time.

"What difference does it make?" Agnus Dei asks. "Those that are blessed are in charge. Those that aren't, are not. That is the world we ought to create, and you can help me make it."

"The difference," I say, "is that I don't think you can claim to be inspired by alien culture when you don't actually know a single thing about it. Do you even understand which god has chosen to bless you?"

She narrows her eyes at me.

"There's only one God, child," she says.

"If that's true," I answer, "then I'm afraid we've all been chosen by demons. You're being taken advantage of, Agnus Dei. The being in your dreams is abusing your faith for its own amusement. It is not the Christian god."

Whatever she was expecting me to say, it certainly wasn't that. Her eyes widen, and her face can't seem to decide what sort of expression to make. Shock? Fear? Rage? I doubt I'm getting through to her, at least not completely, but I've definitely shaken her. All this divine right of kings stuff isn't just a manipulative rhetoric she's using to try and acquire power; she genuinely believes it.

The question is, do I press my advantage and keep pushing while she's off-balance, or do I give her more time to think? I don't really have time to think about it… so I guess I'll keep going. This woman has already decided once to attempt a coup for power; I don't trust her ability to draw intelligent conclusions by herself.

"I'm sorry, but it's true," I insist. "I've traveled quite a long way, and spoken with many different alien cultures, including worshippers of the being that I can feel has blessed you. They are blasphemers, one and all, and they revel in the corruption of the righteous. Think, Agnus Dei. Please. What has this so-called god encouraged you to do? You've betrayed your country and killed your own people, all in the name of seizing power for yourself. Are these the actions of one who follows Jesus?"

It's all horseshit to me, of course, but I don't have to believe in the Bible to know that by its own standards, this woman is off her rocker. And if she really is a devout believer, I'm sure some part of her knows that.

"You… cheeky brat," Agnus Dei hisses through gritted teeth, which… well, isn't a good sign. 

Oh well, I had to try.

"Don't act like you know me," she says. "Don't act like you know more than me. I've been talking to God longer than you've been alive. Do you think I can't tell the words of the divine apart from the temptations of the devil…?"

Metaphorically speaking? That's exactly what I think. But I doubt it will do me any good to just say yes here.

"We're all just human," I tell her. "We're all flawed. You can make mistakes just like anyone else, and you can repent for them, too."

"Repent? I've done nothing but follow the wishes of my Lord," Agnus Dei insists, which is unfortunate because I'm pretty sure that means I've officially lost her.

Alright, it was a good attempt. Time to get out of here!

I nod to Blossom, and she teleports us both to the edge of her range before I eat her and teleport us to the edge of my range, over and over again. Unfortunately, Agnus Dei is only distracted by her own monologue for a few seconds, looking around to try and find me even though I'm already gone. Unfortunately she's not completely stupid, so when she can't find me she immediately rockets towards the front lines, since that's the direction I'd obviously flee towards. I suppose I could turn around and take a longer route back… but I don't want to risk Rapture's patience. Hell, with a power like hers, it might not even be a matter of patience. It might be a genuine time limit.

"So you were just a test, is that it?" Agnus Dei hisses into the wind, too far above for anyone other than me to hear her—unless one of the other supers here has enhanced senses, I suppose.

"No, I was entirely serious," I answer. "But you tried to kill me barely a minute ago, and I've seen you murder good soldiers for barely any reason, and I don't trust you at all. Besides, I have shit to do. I came here for a rea—"

Oop, that's a death laser. It carves through the part of the camp I'd just been in, vaporizing a good chunk of flesh that I failed to re-absorb in time. I wonder if that counts as a kill by her power's standards? Judging by the increasingly frustrated look on her face, my guess is no.

Still, predictable outcomes aside, I can't fight her. I need to get back to the others; as much as I'm very actively not thinking about everything the Division Queen has done, she did successfully chase off Agnus Dei when she dropped. The rest of our team doesn't really have the mobility necessary to land a hit on the woman, let alone beat her in a fight. We have to rely on Christine's colony to fight her on our behalf, and that means I need to get back now.

"Holy—!"

"Was that—"

"She's—"

Flashes of startled voices fill my ears between jumps, as I take the time to grow a few sensory organs at each stop just so I have some idea of what's going on around me. The whole base is a kicked beehive, and with everyone on high alert my preferred method of travel doesn't pass unnoticed. Agnus Dei is tracking my movement, but thankfully she's less eager to obliterate people that are loyal to her personally. She doesn't shoot unless there isn't going to be anyone else caught in the blast, and the other powers that occasionally try to stop me are less than effective. I am an ethereal domain, flowing ever-forward as I make anchors that only briefly interact with material reality. 

I'm only truly stopped—somewhat ironically—when I reach the front lines. I've derided the powered troops whose powers themselves are too useless or underdeveloped to be helpful in combat, but gathered together and all in synchronicity, a dozen different people standing together in my path do actually act as a barrier I can't simply teleport though. That's not really what gets me to stop, though. I could go around—or if I'm being honest, I could probably just walk past them—but I know one of them.

The body I form is a nostalgic one. The official, PR-approved body of the superhero Seraphim isn't my preferred way to present myself anymore, but it's functional and certainly recognizable. I build myself out of near-formless flesh, growing seemingly from nothing into an Angel standing tall. My eye-covered wings lock gazes with everyone here, while the smaller wings oh my head lift ever so slightly so I can peek out with the eyes there, too, tilting my head back and glancing down my nose.

"Hey, Ed," I greet the man in the middle of the group.

He was part of our batch of training. The nice old guy in the wheelchair who played with Anastasia and chatted with her about her favorite show. He was part of my squad when we took St. Louis.

"Hello, Lia," he greets back.

"It's Julietta, actually," I correct. "Sorry for lying about that. My sister needed help, and Lia could do things for her that I couldn't."

"Julietta, then," he sighs. "I don't suppose I could convince you to surrender?"

I glance around at his group, prodding them with my domain. Most of them flinch at the touch, a flash of fear passing over them. They're all closer to my age than his, and while all of them are weak, they've been carefully chosen so that each of them provides resonance with one or more of the others, creating a dominant domain field not unlike what Danielle accomplishes, but smaller and with far fewer bodies.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to let me pass?" I ask as unpowered soldiers surround me. 

A bad move on their part; even protected by other domains, they're really just more fuel for me if this ever gets ugly. They've assembled a collection of domains thick enough to stop me from stretching myself thin and teleporting as far as I can, sure, but if I keep my own domain close? They don't have the strength to stop me.

"You know I can't," Ed says tiredly.

"You can," I tell him. "I can bring you with me as I leave, if you want. I'm sure Ana would be ecstatic to see you again."

"Ana's alright, then?" he asks.

"Of course she is," I confirm. "Everyone is. Do you think I'd leave them behind?"

Since everyone already knows where I am anyway, I go ahead and release my hold on my domain, Silhouette's gifts fading back into the shadows and letting the full force of my Grand Queen Candidate domain be felt by the others. Several of the powered soldiers in front of me, even the ones I'm not touching, react with shock, their eyes widening. One even clutches his chest and stares at me like I walked over his grave. Legion, Silhouette, Possibility, Reciprocation… everyone blessed by those four feels my presence on a deeply instinctual level, as part of them that has become inseparable from who they are pulls towards me with the gravity of divinity. 

Ed doesn't, though. I don't have Failure's approval yet, huh? I guess I'll have to see if I can arrange a meeting tonight. Same with Perfection.

"…Are you really stopping to chat? You're an idiot, Seraphim," another familiar voice says, and I look up to spot Sí Gaoithe and his team rushing over to me. 

His words are harsh, but I can feel the fearful sweat pooling on his brow, and I can see how he holds his teammates behind him in the air, as if to protect them. Ah, that's right. He's blessed by Legion, isn't he? He can feel it. I'm not a huge fan of this whole Grand Queen shit, but since I have to do it I suppose I can admit I enjoy seeing people who used to be in charge of me look at me like that.

"I just saw an old friend and figured I'd say hello," I say. "It's only idiocy if I don't have the power to back it up."

I point up, vaguely in the direction of where Agnus Dei hovers high in the sky, watching from a very safe distance. Even when we were peacefully chatting she refused to get close, and now she's even further away, sending underlings to deal with me rather than risk engaging herself. It's a smart move, admittedly; I've avoided death from her lasers so many times that she knows she wouldn't kill anyone but her own men, but the point I'm making still comes across.

Agnus Dei is scared of me. It's obvious, now that I think about it. Why else would a megalomaniac like her switch to negotiating with someone she's already tried to kill?

And perhaps even more telling, I'm not scared of her.

"If we don't fight, you don't have to find out who the fool really is," I say. "I think that's a deal worth taking."

I glance around, my skin rippling as I fail to resist the urge to replace my hair with tentacles, though I do make the concession to color them stark white to match my feathers. By sheer habit, I start making more minor changes as well, altering muscular structures and sensory organs and making myself just a little taller to better intimidate the people that truly seem to have no idea how dead they'd already be if I had any desire to make it so.

"You really think you can fight the entire base?" Sí Gaoithe asks.

I turn my head to look him in the eyes in a way he'll understand.

"Yes, sir. I do," I answer.

He's already fought me, and lost. Eruption, his teammate, tenses behind him. During that fight, I paralyzed him from the neck down. And then I went through the effort of healing him back to normal before leaving. Because, frankly, it was entirely unnecessary overkill, and I had no need to do that to win. They were just that far beneath me.

I didn't ask for this power, but I refuse to run from it. My friends have told me time and time again, I'm absurd. I am Grand Queen material. And if I have to, I'll show them what that means.

"But I'm not here to fight you," I continue. "That would defeat the entire point. From the very start, I've only done what I thought was best for everyone. I'm just here to take back something that wasn't yours. I've done that, and now I'm leaving. None of you will be stopping me."

"…Let her go."

The voice comes from far above. There's only one person who it could be. Everyone turns their gaze to the sky.

"The little traitor is going to be fighting on the side of the aliens," Agnus Dei says. "If she wants to be kind enough to give up her human shields and let us finish our preparations for her before we attack, then I say let her."

Well, now. I take it a few key players are currently still occupied, then? Feels like the sort of thing she probably shouldn't tell me. Is it bait? Is it arrogance? Or is it… a challenge?

We can't both be Grand Queen. It just doesn't feel right. And if I want the gods backing her to take my side instead, removing her from the picture entirely doesn't seem like a bad way to do it. Maybe she understands that on some instinctual level. As little as she understands them, the gods still whisper in her dreams.

"Appreciated," I tell her honestly.  "I'll see you in a few days, then."

She smiles, but it's a fake grin, trying to hide her irritation. What, is she mad that I guessed when the attack is going to be?

"Perhaps I should move up the timetable, just to spite you," she mutters too quietly for anyone else to hear. 

I can only imagine the kind of logistical feats that would require, so I just smirk and give her a casual wave, walking right towards the people who had been trying to block my path. They back up, Ed among them. He's in his wheelchair, despite normally being carried by another soldier during operations. I guess they didn't have the time to get him strapped onto someone's back. 

I could fix his legs, obviously. Hell, I could make him young again. Fixing mental degradation from age is something I'd prefer to practice a little before trying it out on him, but thanks to Legion's blessing, brain modification and repair is no longer out of the question. There's a lot I could do with that, some of it quite horrifying, but I'll leave it all hypothetical for now.

Ed is another Failure-blessed, like Emily. And like Emily, his power is doubtlessly awful for his mental well-being. He can empower people in his domain, and if the empowered people get hurt, he personally gets stronger. The only time I've seen him stand up on his own power was right after one of the men in his fire team was killed by an Angel. He becomes stronger the more he fails to protect people. It's just… mean.

Failure and I really do need to have a chat soon.

I shift my body as I walk past the soldiers, pulling my wings back inside me and swapping the white-feather aesthetic for my usual dark brown tentacles and octopus-skin dress. I should probably change into a bird and fly away, if only because it would be faster, but I'm kind of enjoying being the girl that Angus Dei just let walk right out of a military base that I infiltrated. I'll need to unify the world, eventually. The more of a reputation I get beforehand, the easier that will be. After passing by them, I turn back.

"Does anyone want to come with me?" I ask. "I'll do everything I can to make sure you're safe from the fighting. I can't guarantee the last battle of the war will be bloodless, so if you want to stay safe, now is your chance."

"You're… completely fucking crazy, Seraphim. You're utterly mad," Sí Gaoithe says, though it feels less like he's actually talking to me and more like he's trying to convince himself of some way this could all be real.

"That, or I just know better," I say, projecting supreme confidence. "I guess you'll see which soon enough. And… please, just call me Julietta."

And with that, I jump into the sky and fly off. I don't want to admit it, but… that was kinda fun. Of course, the moment I'm away from the other soldiers, Agnus Dei launches a giant searing beam of light at me… but again, I just teleport away. Better luck next time. Or… preferably not, I guess.

"Report: mission successful. Twisting Scars Reshape Fate returning with all objectives," I say over the network once I'm close enough to the Queen's domain.

"Relief! Love!" Maria sends first.

"Acknowledgement. I will inform the pink cloud," Peter says. "Sending current location data."

Ah, has Peter been keeping Rapture company? That makes sense, since he's immune to her.

"Approaching," I respond, and pick up the pace.

The two of them, as it turns out, are apparently waiting inside a house, so I land on the porch and knock on the door.

"Come in!" Peter calls out, and I go ahead and open the door to find Peter sitting on an abandoned couch with a pilfered chess set sitting on the coffee table and a large cloud of pink mist floating across from him.

Bishop to C4 I guess, Rapture contorts her body to write, and Peter reaches across the table and obligingly moves her piece for her. I still think you made 'castling' up. It's such bullshit.

"The fifteenth century called, they want their opinions back," Peter responds. "And since you're clearly not having much trouble adjusting your attack, I don't think it's going to be that big of an issue."

"Getting your ass kicked, I see," I comment, looking at the board. "Hey Peter, does this house have any clothes in it?"

"Probably?" he says. "Why?"

"So the people I kidnapped can get dressed, of course," I answer. "Be right back."

I search the house and find some outfits that I think should mostly fit Artifact. I also remember that I have Rafflesia inside me, too, so I set out two sets of outfits in two different rooms and vomit them both back to existence in privacy. I'd bring out Blossom here, too, but a quick look inside my meatspace shows that she is for some reason taking a nap. I may as well let her.

"Hey there, you two! I couldn't bring your clothes, so get dressed."

"Holy fuck," Rafflesia swears. "Shit. Seraphim? Where am I? Is this a Queen's domain?"

"You're in Chicago, so yes," I answer. "Don't worry, we're allowed here."

"…Huh? Why am I… what just happened…?" Artifact babbles in the other room, considerably more disoriented.

"Hey, Artifact. You got captured by the feds and Rapture made me break you out," I say. "Put some pants on and come help her out."

"Rapture… oh! Oh! Rapture!"

From the hurried shuffling inside, I take it he's woken up fast. He bursts out the door, then squawks in terror and surprise when he sees me. I literally just talked to him…? Whatever. I jerk my thumb in Rapture's general direction and follow him as he rushes fearfully past.

"Rapture! Rapture, hey! Are you okay!?" he yelps when he sees her, causing the pink cloud to puff up in every direction, roiling in the air and pulling away from him.

Don't get too close!

"Oh geez, that's a no. Okay, don't worry, I've got this! Let's see, um…"

He looks down at his hands and focuses intensely, at which point what appears to be a solid gold genie lamp just manifests into existence.

"Hmm, nope, too opaque," he says, tossing it away. "Umm…"

He gives it another shot, stumbling slightly as he summons what appears to be a large, cubical fish tank.

"Eh… maybe," he hums. "One more shot."

He carefully sets the fish tank down, then tries for a third time, ending up with a large, futuristic-looking vacuum cleaner with a fully transparent tank.

"Oh, perfect!" Artifact grins. "It even has wheels! Okay, come here, Rapture! It's slurping time!"

Noooo not slurping my one and only weaknessssss, Rapture quivers in the air, and I… think she's joking? But either way, Artifact turns the vacuum on and uses the hose attachment to start sucking Rapture up into the tank from a distance. Once we can no longer see her in the air, he spends another minute or two running around the room and waving the thing around the air just to make sure before finally turning the vacuum off, uncoupling the tank from the rest of the vacuum and holding it up to grin at it.

"How's that, Rapture?" Artifact asks. "Comfy in there?"

I mean it's nowhere near as cool as your pneumatically controlled Game Boy, but it's fine I guess, Rapture answers. I've been in less comfortable plastic jars.

"Good to hear!" Artifact beams. "I'm a little worried you're gonna be kinda bloated in there, so let's get you nice and shrunk down before I… oh! Do you think it would be fun if I ran the vacuum with you in it?"

Maybe after the chess game, Rapture says. I'm winning, so I wanna keep playing.

"Oh, is that how it is? Well I'm losing, so maybe I'll quit," Peter huffs.

No wait don't I wanna kick your butt!

"What the fuck is going on, Seraphim!?" Rafflesia hisses, stumbling out of the hallway in the ill-fitting clothes I left her. Eh, I did my best.

"It's Julietta," I correct. "And I told you, didn't I? Agnus Dei is planning a coup, I'm gonna stop her, and then I'm going to introduce the alliance of Alien colonies I've formed to the American government and negotiate a peace treaty so we can put an end to this stupid war and spread peace across the globe in time for everyone to unite and pool enough resources to get an international space program back online so I can go talk to and/or eat the moon before it crashes three years from now."

Rafflesia makes a very solid effort at not hyperventilating.

"You… you may have left some of those parts out," she says, her voice higher-pitched than usual. "Why did you… take me?"

"Because I didn't want to leave you with Commander, mostly," I say. "Or let you get blasted by Ms. America. Why, did you want to be left behind?"

"I don't know," Rafflesia says, gulping for air. "I don't fucking know. Why didn't you just kill Commander?"

"…Well, I don't really like killing people in general," I answer. "But I guess I probably should have."

Then again, they might have been less inclined to let me leave if I'd committed any murders. Then again again, they don't actually know I didn't murder Rafflesia, so maybe not.

"What about the other two?" Rafflesia asks.

"Other two?"

"The… the ones who were with Artifact when you took him," Rafflesia answers.

Oh yeah, those guys.

"One of them has a mind control power. I'll let them out after all this is done," I say. 

I haven't even reformed them inside my meatspace, since my real brain is there and might not be as mind control resistant as my fake brains. I'm not actually sure if causing them to like, not be extant in any capacity for a significant period of time will make them count as dead, but… oh, well. I don't like killing people, but I’ll still do it, if it comes to that. There's a war going on, after all.

"Anyway, are you two gonna be good now?" I ask Artifact and Rapture. "I assume our deal is complete, Rapture?"

Oh! Um, you doing okay, Artifact? Did she hurt you?

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine," he confirms. "I was getting… interrogated, I think? It was a little fuzzy, but then suddenly I was here! I feel great now, honestly. My back doesn't even hurt!"

Impossible. You are a shrimp man.

"Are we good, Rapture?" I ask again, getting her back on track.

Oh! Yeah. Yeah we're super good. Thank you.

"So are you two sticking around for the battle or not?" I ask. "Actually, are you still working for In-Joke?"

Working with In-Joke, Rapture corrects. And I think I'm technically supposed to be, but I haven't seen them in a while. I'm good to stick around if you want? We don't have anywhere in particular to go. 

"I'm not sure you want us to contribute to the battle, though," Artifact hedges. "The stuff I make is unreliable and tends to disappear after a while, and Rapture would, well…"

I'm pretty indiscriminate, Rapture writes as Artifact trails off.

"Yeah, if you don't want to fight, I won't make you," I say. "But if you find a chance to kill Agnus Dei, do me a favor and take it."

I'll… see what I can do? Which is probably nothing, Rapture says. I don't know if I can kill her if I catch her, but I also just can't catch her unless she's not paying attention.

"Yeah, that's kind of everyone's problem," I admit with a sigh. "Hopefully the Angels will be able to handle her."

"Jesus," Rafflesia swears again. "'Hopefully the Angels will be able to kill Agnus Dei' is not something I ever expected to hear in my life."

"Yeah, well I never expected to have to compete with her to become Grand Queen of all the aliens, but here we are," I shrug. "Let's take you to meet the others, okay? And hey, if you like what you see, maybe we can help you out with some upgrades, too."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Rafflesia whimpers. "What do you mean by that?"

"You'll see," I promise, patting her on the shoulder. "Wanna walk or fly?"

"Walk! Walk. Let's walk, please."

"Sure," I agree, heading for the front door. Peter follows, and after glancing between me and Rapture a couple times, Rafflesia hesitantly follows us, too. 

I'm sure she'll fit in great.