I read the terrible Episode IX pitch where Rey is a robot

Post credit scene: The neutral Almurian council chambers, filled with always masked Almurians. First one, then all, remove their masks revealing...Snokes! The age of neutrality begins!!

Not bad, I guess.

35 eerie videos taken before disaster

Spoilers-ish: I laughed so much during the movie because so many things ended up being similar to this that I just couldn't handle it. Most of all the clone vats as well as the stabbing "JUST LIKE HE DID TO HIS FATHER", it was too ridiculous to take seriously anymore

turns out he was pretty close in some aspects

I wish Colin Trevorrow had made episode 9. That’s how much I was disappointed by the movie. But, I’m excited to see what’s next (and hopefully it’s by Rian Johnson).

take me back to three days ago when rise of skywalker’s story was still up for speculation

after the first few minutes of the movie i was DESPERATELY hoping rey and ben would team up against a bunch of snoke clones

I watched this a few hours before seeing the movie. Within the first 5 minutes, when it planned over the vat, I had a visceral fear reaction and flashback to this.

This is just one big L

given what we now know this video seems like a sad case of 'what might have been'

Let's just say, after watching this vid and then seeing the movie, there's one shot in particular that made me gasp aloud. XD

I feel like an idiot baby with how hard the droid plush stuff makes me laugh.

Honestly he wasn’t that far off in retrospect 😪

The thing with ADF is that he’s keyed in to what George Lucas likes, so what stands out to me is how easy this would be to bring in under budget, which billionaire George is still super into for some reason. Our key elements are: humanoid planet we already have matte paintings for, one type of alien, space battles you could make by recycling animation from previous movies, and a gymnasium covered in green-screen tarp for the ‘reception room’. One thing to keep in mind with the original movie novelizations and comic books is that pre-VHS, this was literally the only way you could ‘rewatch’ a movie you had seen in theatres. So some credit to ADF for being part of that. When I last re-read it, I thought the novelization of A New Hope was quite faithful and fun. My one serious note would be that regardless of real life events, it would make sense for Leia to shuffle off this mortal coil since the sequels seem to be killing off one member of the original trio per movie and this could be treated as key to Kylo’s redemption (as opposed to the dead parent spurring evil/vengeance trope). Anyway, love the spoiler-free Star Wars content as I’m trying to avoid opening weekend crowds *and* episode IX plot/imagery leaks.

I read (and re-read) a lot of Alan Dean Foster when I was a kid, and, well... not surprised that this treatment wasn't good. He's a grade A hack writer with over 100 published novels, and from what I understand has basically never said no to a paycheque. Since I have the excuse to share/vent: Midworld – ADF has done a lot of movie novelizations over the years, including Aliens. Apparently James Cameron despises him, which makes the obvious similarities between his novel and Cameron's later Avatar movie especially curious... natives bonding empathically with flora and fauna, the home tree, the forest neural net bolstered by dead human brains, the insensitive corporate interlopers... The book in this case, while not exactly amazing prose, is a much better story than the movie. He also likes to travel, which has led to some of his better original books. Into the Out Of is a horror/fantasy based on Masai creation myths. Maori is about the colonization of NZ, and both are not unsympathetic to the locals, iirc. On the other side, the Spellsinger books are absolutely AWFUL, even by YA standards. They have some cute ideas (such as employing anthropomorphic skunks as riot cops), but they're BAD. Looking back at publication dates, it's probably telling that he managed to publish three of them in the same year. Also the Icerigger trilogy, which very seriously presents a humanoid alien race adapted to an ice planet. They use their elongated claws as ice skates, and travel long distances by tacking into the wind with their webbed bat wings. Somehow that was three books. However, by FAR the greatest contribution(/troll?) of ADF has to be the prediction that humans will eventually found a great space commonwealth with giant alien cockroaches at their side. Apparently they're the species that humans found the most in common with.

Alan Dean Foster also wrote or co-wrote the screenplays for Alien and Total Recall.

It just occurred to me that this version of Kylo would apparently be super upset to learn about some of Vaders 'prosthetics'.

Alan Dean Foster is a porg exclusionist (he excludes porgs) >:(

"Frustration ensues", indeed.

Yes, soon it will be Star Wars. The man who wrote the novelization of the original Star Wars movie ships Rey & C-3PO? That's.... that's something alright. I see the Knights of Ren decided once again to stay at home and play video games. It got them through "Episode 9" alive, so maybe they're on to something.

This is great, I wish there were more IX treatments for you to review.

I’ve just upgraded to a big fancy monitor and was going to test it out with a Blu-ray, but then this video popped up so I got to see your glorious droid puppetry in Full HD instead! Totally worth it. :)

Now I want a shirt saying “There make be Snokes”

Is that a winx club Bloom doll on the background....? are you my hero now?

This is especially delightful since I tried just a few days ago to listen to the Alan Dean Foster novelization of The Force Awakens but couldn't because it was so awful.

I would watch countless hours of you simulating beep-beep dialogue using your robot plushies. A+

Fun fact: Alan Dean Foster wrote the very first Expanded Universe novel, Splinter of the Mind’s Eye

Gosh this was a fun video. Loved the beep-boops, they're at 6:05, 39:56, and 53:28 if anyone actually does wanna stitch together five uninterrupted minutes. I was watching the new movie when this video was released and honestly if I had known I would've 100% preferred for the order to be switched. My "There moke be Snokes" comment was too late to even accumulate a single like. Makes me glad for this community, though, because it got four hearts in the Patreon preview comments. It's a small thing but it means a lot to me. Y'all are great.

So happy re: color balance! Merry Christmas Jenny and all!

So random thoughts on this, Snoke is Kenny from south Park, the joker but specifically the comic book or I guess the Jack nicholson joker or both joker and Kenny. R2 has been an alcoholic through out the entire saga... Does that mean all the noises he makes are actually because he's just drunk? If there's a good and bad afterlife in the star wars universe is uncle owen being tortured in the bad place? How many dark jedi or whatever has Obi-Wan killed now if this was cannon. An I the only one who wants to see a wacky 80s comedy of just snokes sharing a house l, trying to hold down work and get along.

Wait a minute: before Episode One Obi-Wan was just a Padawan learner, so why is he offing force-sensitive bullies on his own? And Obi-Wan isn't in the Skywalker family, so why would that make Snope hate the Skywalkers? This treatment is worse than the actual prequels.

This takes me back to the days of reading early EU novels.

Oh perfect timing I'm literally heading out the door to the gym I'll watch it there

Thanks jenny!! Ur one in a trillion!