EllaNoir is Back and She is SORRY
Hey everyone. I am greatly apologetic for my absence these last few months. Tears are swelling for two reasons: one, because I disappeared and it broke my heart keeping you in the dark. And two, because the reason I was MIA was because my dearest grandmother was in hospice these last few months.
She had been suffering from cancer the last few years and in Oct it took a turn for the worst. She was my best friend and taught me so many things; we had a special bond as I was the first grandchild and older than my cousins. I couldn't leave her side and nothing in the those moments mattered but her. I needed her to know how much I loved her in her last days. She passed peacefully in her bed a few weeks ago. The funeral and everything was beautiful and many people showed. And all I can say now is I am empty but I am happy to be back and plan to put all my pain into working on my mod. I am so so sorry for leaving without a word. But if anyone has ever been in a situation like mine, you understand how painful it is, to have someone so loved and cherished there, then suddenly not, to have something to tell them, but then are hit with the realization, you can't. They are just gone.
But I am back now. And I plan to put all m efforts into FF once again. Your patience and support have really helped me.
I am happy to say that last version of FF works with the most recent patch. I haven't gotten the new pack yet because I have honestly felt so guilty from not being active, I haven't even touched the game. But I will test it with the new pack soon.
I had been working on a great big update back in October. And I am working on some polishing touches now. The Secret "Secret" Society can expect that to be released tomorrow with some other news as well.
And everyone else can expect the big update in March!
So once again, I apologize for my absence. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. And rest assured, we will be back on track and the beta will be out tomorrow and expected to release in March for everyone else. I will read comments soon.
Comments (17)
I feel for your loss of someone so dear to you. I have lost my father in Febraury 2016. I was just released from prison the December of 2015. we spent plenty of time, quality time as he had taught what a 'nerd' is/was. We played video games together til he died . My Mom, Dad, and I were off to a friends house to pay a card game. He said he wasn't feeling well, wanted to go to the hospital. I held him upright so he could breathe ... he didn't make it there. I still remember him and deal with the grief. I didn't have the choice of grief at the time. Take time for your grief we, your fans, will wait for your return.
My deepest condolences on your loss. Family comes - or truly should come - first. Please know that I deeply understand your need to step away for a while. A loss like this takes time, space, and a lot of gentleness with yourself to even begin to heal. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and having been through something similar myself, my heart is right there with you.
Life always comes first, and that's time you'll not be able to get back-- so sorry for your loss.. but thankful you had that time.
Hope you're doing okay and taking it easy. Life can throw you lemons. My thoughts are with you and your family. You produce really good content and looking forward to seeing whats next in March.
Thank you! Yeah, fuck those lemons, man. Definitely feeling more oranges lately ha. I hope to not disappoint!
I totally understand, my Dad passed quicly last Aug, within 2 weeks he was gone & it was totally unexpected. There were so many things I needed to ask him, we thought he would make it home after the 1st week, he rallied but then it went bad, fast. By the end of the 2nd week he was gone & that whole week he was nonverbal/responsive. Even 6 months later I go to say something to him & realize while I can still say it he wont respond for me. Take it easy, take it a day at a time, take time for yourself if needed. They are always in our hearts so that never ends, just the physical part does for them.
Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. That is what sorta happened with us. All of a sudden she got so sickely and the doctors said they have done all they could. So I wasted no time and flew out to her before I could lose anymore time. Funny how your brain just goes into a mode of focus and nothing else matters. It sucks. It is hard to convince myself, oh right you did exist, just bc you fucking are so far away from it now. Ya know? And then I get angry. It's awful. I thank you highly for your words. They are both relatable and comforting. I hope you are doing well as you can and I am happy to listen if you ever need it.
I am so sorry Honey,life can throw curve ball's,as to your absence don't be daft family come first as does your well being were all i am sure here for you & support you no matter the time frame love Mada rose xx
This is so sweet, thank you. I kept thinking "omfg, just write a quick post on Discord to let everyone know why you're gone," and just the feeling of putting in the world, that I was gone because my grandma lies frail in a hospital bed, I couldn't do it. So I really appreciate that. tysm.
My heart goes out to you. I know how hard losing a loved one can be. My mom passed a year ago yesterday. Remember that grief is a roller coaster and everyone goes through it differently. Remember the good times but also don't feel bad for the moments where you need to just feel sad. If you at any point need to take another break from making content do so. Know that you are cared about and that your pain is understood
Thank you so much, and I am so sorry for you loss too. It is the weirdest fucking thing. I just want to wake up one day wihtout thinking everything is normal, only to remember and have the crushing, gut-wrenching feeling of it all over again. I really appreciate your words. If you need someone to talk to, I am here, bc you are cared for and understood too!
May her memory be a blessing.
tysm
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 Your post broke my heart. Your grandmother was truly a lucky woman to have such a wonderful granddaughter ♥️
Thank you, yk what? My grandmother knew about my sex mod and was so proud of me for learning how to code and "beat the man," her words ahaha. She didn't care one bit about it being adult. She was just happy I had passion for something. So thank you for your sweet words and reminding me of one of my fondest memories of her.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss 😞 I hope your heart is healing and you can think of the fond memories with her 💜
thanks, I have loss loved ones before, but this hits in a way I didn't even think possible.