7.24
Did you miss me? Well, we're back and I have no brevity! I never did. (26,300 Words)
children'sHour
Comments (22)
Hope Ryoka gets to Teriarch soon!
Hey Pirate, do me a favor and don't fix Ryoka's long-term coming of age story wherein she evolves from an angsty teenager into a competent adult and overcomes her mental illness or chemical imbalance or troubled past by taking a potion of likability. But please do move her story along. I really would like to read what happens.
I see what you mean there but she isn't just an angsty teen. She has actual mental issues, you don't get mood swings like that and loose control like that from being an angsty teen. Plus she is 21, being an angsty teen only works when your 16 after that your just an asshole. Plus I never said she needs a potion of likability, she needs a treatment for her mental issues, it is diferent and I do thank you if you would not trivialize actual medical conditions.
sigh whiney runner brat episode.... oh, look at me I'm bipolar but don't want to be whine whine whine whine. She must be cursed cause every chapter she is in is just so... I mean its well written but I just hate her. She is so smart but acts so stupid. Seriously no alchemists have treatments for common mental issues... I mean its not like they don't know it is there. She has whole conversations with multiple people. Heck they have alchemist menstrual treatments and gender swap potions, calming spells and orgasms in a fucking bottle. Not once has she even asked an alchemist about it in the whole story. It would be like a half a page of dialog at the most. If it doesn't exist it she could just get something enchanted with a calm spell she can use or something like it.
really she is one of the best characters imo, she actually has an arc and personal growth unlike most of the other characters that are stagnant in their development like erin. Erin's only personal growth since the beginning has been allying with Palt's mage group. She never really gets better or wiser or has a personality change. I like erins stories and she doesnt really need that kind of growth to be a good character.
Mrsha The Gracious and Kind gave this chapter a like, but Mrsha the vengeful will hunt dow all future cliff hangers and end them!
I don’t get the ending. Am I forgetting something? Why was she attacked? A bounty?
The obviously magical carriage (that carries rich customers in comfort) was attacked by bandits, is it really that hard to understand?
Even chapters which are supposedly dedicated to Erin nowadays only have 2 paragraphs about her. Sadness 😭
Hi Pirate. Thanks for the good run, this will be my last month being a patron. When I started, you had less than 200 patrons and check it out now. :) You've made a web novel into a real income and you've done it without dropping the quality of your work. I said the good, now comes the critique. Not everyone wants to be beat over the head with sex. The reader doesn't need to know the orientations or preferences of every character. Drop a hint here and there, keeping things ambiguous allows a larger group of people to identify with the character. Kinda like what you did with Erin. You never spelled it out for her, and that is great. Adding romance to a story is all well and good, but too much romance will drown the reader. What I mean is one or two relationships is fine, it gives the reader someone to root for or curse and allows the reader to watch things grow or wither. Adding a whole bunch of relationships starts to feel less like a story and more like a "who's sleeping with who" gossip magazine. Anyways, keep on writing and take care. Wishing you success, happiness, and health.
If you are referring to the MagnoliaXRessa comment by Ieka, I agree with you that that would be an awkward addition to their characters, but I assumed it simply a misinterpretation from Ieka’s biased view.
Finally! No more breaks now for at least a decade 😝😝😝😝 I love long chapters! The longer the better!
Well..all the Earther iPhones are lost now
Yes we missed you :((((
Thank you!
Omg was amazing please Continue I hope to God she reaches the dragon with her items.
I love finally getting to see ryokas response that was amazing.
Hope your doing well. Thanks for the chapter.
welcome back how was the brake
If you knew how much we missed you would would be like people please get some help 👩⚕️ because this is Obsession. Well come back
New fan here. Love your story I've been reading it non stop for the past 2 months! Lots of of love from Romania! ( Since I am Romanian i love the vampire, dracula transylvania references :).
I love your book. 😊 From Caribbean