Development Update 18
Have you heard about daydreams and that they can be used by writers as tools to show the reader a glimps of what's going on in a characters head?
Me neither... Well, I heard about it. The first time I saw it in a VN I absolutely hated it.
- I didn't understand it
- I didn't care for what it wanted to tell me
- The visuals were irritating since things basically happened in a bluered thought bubble
Still, I've found a couple of problems in A Foreign World:
First, is there anybody that cares about Fiona? The MC has his brooding moments where he thinks about his fiance, but my sense is that the player most likely doesn't know what to do with this. He hasn't fallen in love with Fiona like MC did. The player has no reason to care about MC's motivations.
^^ Fiona needs more screentime
Second, I didn't enjoy looking into the head of a character since I didn't care enough. I was looking for a fun time, not a complicated story. Well, I'm going out on a limb here but the people playing A Foreign World should be more open to the story aspect than I was. It's been a long time, and up until now, there is only one full sex scene. If you're still here, congratulations, you're getting rewarded for your patience. MC is reluctant to sleep with the women for obvious reasons, but that doesn't mean he isn't tempted. He has his broody moments where he is weighing options, but his thoughts and fantasies aren't ovious to the player.
^^ MC's (dark) fantasies will find it's way on the big screen, which means MORE SEX SCENES
The idea for all this comes from a very great person that is working behind the scenes to make this story absolutely amazing. I guess for him it was a short and obviouse comment, "why don't you add fantasies?", by now he has given me thousands of sich comments, but for me this opend the flood gates of my mind and I was bombarded with ideas that need to be added to the game. I'm happy to annouce that Episode 3.5 has become a little bigger, and soooooo much better.
I'm sharing the image that comes with the post so you later don't have to seach for it in the game. It will be added with a single line during MC's conversation with Morris when they exchange cars again.
"Goodbye, MC" - Fiona -
Keep your eyes open for future updates.
Until then, Enjoy!
Comments (3)
You are totally right that a character needs screen time for us to care about her. One way to make room for Fiona without resorting to dreams or fantasies might be flashbacks to what happened. Although I have to say, I like the way you have so far left us clues without being too obvious. You have had several things told to us by giving one bit of information at a time, which I think is very good storytelling. While talking about Fiona, is it just me, or does she look very young? I've felt that she feels younger than our "foreigners", which is a bit wierd if MC is an experienced agent/soldier... And lastly, feel free to add lewd content in dreams and/or fantasies, just make sure that the reader knows what it is when it starts. It is such an annoying cliché to have something amazing happen, like MC finally gets the dream girl, and then...wakes up.
Since my policy is to never force a sex scene on the player that he doesn't want to see, i usually start things off with a menu where you can decide to surpress your thoughts, or let your mind wander. So there shouldn't be any surprises :D
Wow, sounds like you're on a good journey. Although not to undermine the process, I did care about the fiancé from the first reading. I thought how you presented the MC's life and the glimpse of Fiona curled up and obviously emotionally hurting, had me wanting to see them get back together again. It did influence my story choices. That said, I'm all for you flexing your creative wings and exploring more avenues to present your story. I look forward to viewing the results, and thank you for sharing where you are creating this.