feeling better mostly, thank you all for 3 years ❤
I know Remi is broken, I'll get on that after this. please stop screaming at me about her 😓
This is pretty open about how I think constantly, tldr; I'm a depressed piece of shit and always have been, and i had a fever.
So a couple weeks ago (yes, weeks 😓) I saw it was coming up on 3 years since I started making these. I figured it would be nice to go back and remake my first 3 mods, Yun Jin, Xiangling, and Yoimiya. I had gotten through Yun Jin and Xiangling, but didn't start work on her. I was gonna show them a while after my last post.
But then, out of nowhere, I got hit with the news that a grandparent of mine wasn't gonna make it, and they didn't, unfortunately.. then I got a fever but am mostly recovered now
Caution: to save yourself the eye-rolling, you can stop here. its very depressing
I had this typed for a while, but didn't know if I should keep it in, I probably shouldn't but ill keep some of it in
Initially, I wasn't hit with the grief of it or a huge amount of it until much later in the day, when I was sitting down at my desk, staring at my blender window, questioning my choices and life choices in general. Constantly thinking I haven't uploaded shit but have stuff to upload, "why am I making genshin mods when no one plays the game?" (idk if people do or not, but I think no one does), "no one will care just do another ZZZ mod and keep fighting with the banners I keep losing 80+ on both the 50/50 and the guarantees to make future mods on." Then I take forever to make one anyway. By the time I do it, everyone already has their pick of who they're gonna use it from, or not many care anymore.
These long gaps I always have in my head: "Why even bother trying?" "people are subbed to you and are getting charged for nothing, fucking upload, dumbass, it's October now you've done fuck all the whole year." "Pause the fucking billing so you aren't stealing people's money, send them refunds without them asking its common sense." I sometimes get told in DMs I didn't have to refund them; I just don't feel right about it.
All while having a family death on my mind. No tears, just feeling like what I do is meaningless. Spiraling into asking myself, "is it really worth it?" "My life isn't worth much, I'm just another name/person soon to be forgotten, even more than I already am." "I dump 15+ hours a day into making them: why do it? "Each time you go silent, people leave, destroying all the buildup you did the last time you did it, repeating the cycle." Why are you so non-talkative when it comes to DMs or anyone in general? Just reply, too scared to."
Its strange cause I do love making these; I don't do much of anything else, and I'm not an interesting person at all. I just have a lot of passion for creating, I guess.
Another one that pops up every now and then is, "No one will make fan art of anything you'll do," and I know I shouldn't expect it at all. I don't... Just wish it would happen every blue moon. I'm also not saying it didn't. I'm not on Twitter much at all, but I still remember the art someone drew of my Furina mod that made my day. I would show it, but my folders are a mess.
I've always been like this; I just never say it out loud.
Thanks for reading this if you chose to. Sorry for wasting a lot of your time; that's the one thing I can't give back
Comments (31)
i’m ngl this post definitely made me want to make fanart. i had never considered making fanart for a mod up until now! it seems like a lot of fun.
My condolences bro, I hope sincerely that everything is getting better in your life for you right now, and as everyone already said, don't be too harsh on yourself, you are doing a really good job and people are not mad at you for waiting for your mod, YOUR health is the most improtant thing and it is natural to not be perfectly on time for everything. Just take it easy and go step by step, you will eventually figure out a rythm that suits you <3
Will you be making a mod for Roxy eventually
hey.... it's okay, horrible things happen all the time to people in life and sometimes you will need to take that break.... Let it be known even if the majority of people have their problems or beef with you, you still have a small collective of peeps who genuinely care, even if it's just words on a screen or money in your wallet it much better than being alone during a time like this. hopefully you'll learn to walk again so you can eventually run with everyone else, you old hero
Hi. First of all, I am so sorry about your family member. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that they only wanted you to be happy and well. Also and I hope I’m not the only one who feels this way, I’m still playing Genshin because of you; your mods are the only thing that makes me happy and keeps me wanting to play. I hate the idea of you feeling down, because your work is truly amazing, you even manage to make people like characters they didn't care for before. Please be kind to yourself and remember that there are so many of us who care about you. And forgive me if I said anything wrong or weird; I'm using a translator :(
"It's understandable, we are all human and have our own problems outside of this. I hope you recover, and my condolences. Regarding your mods, I love them and I love how you make the bodies; it has a quality I haven't seen in any other Genshin mod. In Zenless, I love the Remielle one and I don't plan on changing it. Even though there is more variety of models for all tastes in Zenless, yours are among my favorites. I tried helping a few people fix their Remielle mod. I didn't want to publish the fixed .ini file because I didn't feel right doing it without your permission. If you want it, I can send it to you so you can upload it; I've been using the mod since it was released. And another thing, I've been thinking about commissioning a mod and I would like to talk to you about it if possible. If you are busy I could try with another creator, but just whenever you feel up to it. For now, welcome back, and you have your fans here for you - P.S. Sorry if something doesn't make sense, I'm using a translator."
I'm sorry to hear this but it's ok I have a horrible life too and their alot people that are shitty
I know that feeling of emptiness after losing a fam member. It's something we all go thru--well mostly--sooner or later and somehow we push through.--well, mostly. You sell yourself short my friend. Mods personalize these games we live in and good ones are hard to find, and you do beautiful work. Nice clean lines and wonderful attention to detail. As thicc mods go you're up at the top so give yourself some credit. Yeah, waiting kinda sux but I'd rather wait for a mod I'm gonna ogle for years then some of the rushed jaggy funky-skin rush jobs I see elsewhere. You should take pride in your mods, for real. And Genshin, well, it's done like 300 million copies globally so even if the active user base is 10-20% of that it's mega and the US is it's top market. I still play every day and I started on day one. Without my mods though I'd have quit years ago. So get to sculpting us some yummy butts and big bouncy buba's (fat perky nipples please) and we'll get thru this together :)
My deepest sympathies. I don't know if it helps much, but something like this really knocks the ground out from under your feet. Don't worry, I'm ready to wait as long as it takes for you to recover. Jokes aside, I fell in love with your work the moment I first saw it. I really hope you get some proper rest and only start creating again when you're fully ready, because your mods are the best I've ever seen. Good luck, author!
Keep your head up. You’ve done amazing work so far and we hope to see plenty more. We’re happy to have been here to witness your hard work all these years!
love your art. i will always waiting for you because you every work is worth it. otherwise,have you tried AI-Assisted in you work?like claude's opus5.5,ai cant help you create the model but in fix some issue or rendering work will efficiency,maybe will save you time to do the main work.
I'm sorry for your loss, Voidhero. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keeping negative feelings bottled up doesn't end well, so I'm glad you decided to post this. And thank you for coming back and not giving up. Please remember that there will always be people excited for your works, who will not forget you any time soon. I genuinely do wish there was something we could do for you... perhaps it's time to pick up drawing, but it would take some time to procure anything noteworthy haha
I understand, man. Last year I lost my aunt to cancer. She was basically a second mother to me, and she was the one who named me as a baby. While everyone else cried when she died, I didn’t cry at all. A year later I still haven’t cried, and it makes me feel really guilty and depressed. So Believe me I get it take as much time as u need.
May they Rest In Eternal Peace, and their Afterlife be filled with what they desire most. 🙏 . This, "feeling" you have... this is what I also feel everyday. And it's not like I want to feel this way either, I get you, but it all just came to be like that due to not having enough of anything long before anyone else. . Some thoughts I have are similar like: "What the hell am I suppose to do now?" and "Do I even deserve this life?" or "Perhaps my creativity was not long for this world/I can't profit off it, that feels wrong." And the big one being that: "even though I'm a great artist, I'm no modder, and I believe there's not that many people out there willing to bring my ideas to life with mods..." . Yet what stops me from thinking those things is what talented individuals like yourself put out every day, or when y'all have the time. And should any of you need time for yourselfs: to pick back up, start a new routine, family matters, etc., that's ok because I know that I may end up being in the same position one day. . Passion is something we as creators drive on, it makes everything that seems to have a limit, become unlimited. It may not always be there day by day but it is still there, it's part of you, one with you, that passion IS you! In the flesh. . And if I were you I'd rather have that same Passion as a passive ability, permanently, something that no one else can replicate or remove from you. Because there are those that are willing to imitate rather than relate, which makes them fake, and in my case deserves to get erased. And if it comes down to that, it'll be just to give you your own safe space, stripped away from the BS that plagues us constantly, Laments even. . Sorry that this message is long but all in all, I want to thank you for even giving me a reason to play Genshin Impact to this day. And it all started with Yun Jin, Xiangling, & Yoimiya like you said, with Ms Jin being my favorite out of the 3. Be proud of what you do V, you're a hero to me too ✨ . (I literally said all this in Fem Rover's voice lmao xD)
Im so sorry for your loss, if you need more time to figure stuff out, take as long as you need, we'll be waiting for you!!! And to be honest I ABSOLUTELY love your Genshin mods and youre the ONE Genshin Modder i always look forward to for new Characters Mods to this day i still use your Lumine Mod and hoping that you make a mod for her skin some day in the future. 💛💛💛
I don't want to repeat what others have written/ be a broken record, but I want to add in that your mods have inspired and their style associated have given other people the ambition to contribute to the modding community and take inspiration from your works. Even if it isn't fan art, I do see plenty of people on various forums/ discord servers I explore on commenting about some mods are of their interest because they are pretty "voidhero" inspired/ looking like your works. Which I say is an absolute win because it means within the mod community, you've became like an anchor when it comes to specific styles and that's not something you see.
Reading what you wrote i would recommend some kind of therapyst or someone confident enough to talk about your issues or insecurities, not because they will fix them, but sharing and expressing them it is important to your mental health, hope you get over this, your job is amazing and aprecciate, even if you dont think it is
Let me be honest with you: You don't really have to apologize, more like you shouldn't. Also, Genshin is still the most played game from mihoyo, and I'm sure a lot of people still play with your mods, anyone can see the passion you put on your work, it's top tier quality, you just don't see many people talking about it out there cause well, they're afraid of getting banned lmao, even so, I still see left and right some tweets of people using your mods. Regardless of the purpose, it's still a form of art. If this is what you like to do, go on, don't stop, you're good at it, just do as your please, on your pace, maybe only for the characters you pull or you like, maybe sometimes modeling a character a lot of people are asking, but respect your own time. Oh and keep in mind that the people that are still here really like your work. My condolences, and hope you get better and better, don't worry about it ❤️🩹 (and sorry for this long ass text and my bad english, it's been a while since I practiced)
You really don't have to apologize for any of this. I'm really sorry for your loss, and I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. I've been following your work for a little over half a year now, and honestly, I don't think you've been wasting your time. I've been using your Genshin mods and genuinely enjoying them, so I'm one of the people who does care about what you make. I just hope you can be a little less hard on yourself and stop doubting whether what you do has meaning. It does
My condolences, but please understand that there are people like me who understand the mental turmoil that comes with being an creator of any kind and respect your craft, passion , your heart to open up and inform us on what’s going on. That’s noble, and personally I don’t care how long a promise goes quote on quote unfulfilled or late if I still get to see the creator I admire still make gems I can appreciate. Don’t get me wrong tho I’ll always prefer to get as much of your content as possible, hell whether it’s unfinished or you don’t like what you created, I haven’t seen one thing that you’ve done or created truly bad. I love all your work and passion, I’d hate to see you leave. I’d hope I’m hoping others supporters love you as much as I do! Love love love VoidHero!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥳🥳🥳🥳
I am sorry for your loss, but please don't give up, no matter what. We have to keep living and moving forward. As for the mods—they are all wonderful; keep making them however you see fit. But speaking for myself, I’d like to ask you to please keep making Genshin mods, because they are amazing. I look forward to seeing them all.
my condolences, hope things get better and hope you're getting better too 🫂
My condolences, i see people conforting you here in the commments all the time, and most of us are being actually honest when we tell you to take care. But at the end of the day, we are still faceless people for you , so no matter how much text we type it will never ACTUALLY get to you, not for real, even if you appreciate our words, as time has proven. Theres really not much we can do, but theres also no sense in beating yourself down like that. What you do makes people happy, is not worthless at all, i mean this is funny cuz we talkin about gooner mods but idc i genuely love when you drop a mod for my favs. You are an awesome modder, the best genshin modder actually, by far. And at least i will always be here for your mods, im always looking forward to them. People do still play genshin, its just that the modding scene for genshin is pretty danm empty after all the ¨main modders¨ left it, so the lack of genshin mods might give you that impression. ZZZ on the other hand is drowning on mods, that is a game where i actually struggle to pick a mod for my characters, cuz theres SO MANY, unlike in gesnhin...where Odette released almost 60 days ago and im still yet to see a single decent Thicc Odette mod... so yeah trust me when i say a lot of us value a lot what you do. Just take care man, and make sure to stay in touch with some family or friends, being in your room for 15 hours a day is not healthy even if you genuely love what you are doing in there. Hugs
thank you. i do see the messages pop up, checking in from time to time, i greatly appreciate it, i wish i wasnt so head stuck with how i think/am, but i've been at this war with myself for years, long before making mods. this was my escape until the rose colored glasses came off. i do still talk to my family to keep myself from going crazy, but not for long unless im helping them, and then I go right back to working. thanks for being here 💜 wow, I had no clue most of the modders left the game but im also not surprised by it. i make mods for the game cause i like the character(s) im making it for most of the time, it does feel like a pain if i dont want to make it anymore or feel like its dragging on longer than it should. funny you bring up Odette, because she was one of them. all I have is a base nude mod and have been using it for almost a month. (i wish i could just drop the image with the comment) (https://mega.nz/file/gGEEiSpC#19RM5prmMZCbpNso7OGVIzGvUEXhmqvwFeGnonLj4lA) odette always stutters when i first load her, even if i dont have mods for her. its really weird😓
Loss of family is never easy as well as dealing with depression. I personally think yours mods are great and I do understand it takes alot of time and care make such nice ones. If your hobby and passion is in creating them I do hope you understand how appreciative many more than likely are for your work. Its kinda like reviews sometimes many love what they get but just don't leave a comment of how much they like it haha. That said I hope you get better and just take things slow so you don't stop enjoying what you do. Ps: your not alone i have went to full pity the last 4 banners on zzz. Feels like im getting robbed lol.
thank you. you too? it feels completely rigged that it happens one after another. i havent seen anything reasonably early in so long, and if i do i lose and get taken high right after 😩
I am sorry for your loss, don't stress about releasing mods a lot and don't worry about the getting characters you don't want. You are not a machine, it's natural to prefer some things over others. I think you should just do the characters you like more and take your time with it 🫂
I’m sorry for your loss, please don’t beat yourself further down; life’s never easy, but it’s worth it.
thank you. i hope it is
im not posting for any sympathy, just giving a deeper look into how i think. for all i know i could regret this like a lot of the things i do at least i can release the stuff i have only been showing for the past couple of months
DUDE!!!! MIS CONDOLENCIAS POR LA MUERTE DE TU ABUELO. Escuchame te llevo siguiendo desde hace mucho tiempo y me encantan tus mods no pude enviarte un mensaje porque elimine mis mensajes pero recuerda! El trabajo y la familia es una gran responsabilidad si tienen problemas en el trabajo todo afecta hasta la salud fisica y mental de una persona. Yo tuve que aprenderlo en lo que es la universidad- Trabajo-- Vida Personal- La verdad es un tanto jodido pero es responsabilidad de uno si te encantaba hacer mods pero de repente dijiste que estoy haciendo con mi vida no te frustres si ves que un juego tiene pocos jugadores reinventante se que suena palabras vacias pero puedes hacer lo mejor de get the fuck up get out salir a ver a la familia- estar con tu abuelo aunque no este fisicamente ir a visitarlo sabes en la tumba perdon por ser duro pero tuve un tio que murio en el 2020 y de vez en cuando lo visito porque fue inspiracion para mi de loq ue estoy orgulloso por mis logros que me heredo. - Lo unico que te diria es que si tienes problemas dejalo un tiempo largo busca algo que te anime la comunidad tambien ayuda- muchos se retiraron los conocidos de la comunidad pero existe gente en la vida real y en el mundo digital - podrias comenzar por ahi y cuidarte porque aunque leo que todos te decimos que te cuides la verdad el vinculo o afecto humano es mas fuerte para sanar. asi que saludos y cuidate eres el unico que puede hacer contenido como este cuidate-sanate porque eres valioso a veces cuando nadie te dice que eres bueno en lo que haces terminas pensando que lo que haces tu esfuerzo no es mucho porque no te das cuenta que tan gran esfuerzo para hacer estas obras o soluciones en la vida de la gente es literalmente la prueba grande de que tu eres una gran persona. paz! Por cierto podrias comenzar a rehacer tu workflow y usar metodologias para presentar trabajos asi te evitas de ser un robot si no que te enfocas en hacer las publicaciones con tiempo o usar herramientas para artistas o quisas contratar una persona que te ayude en esas cosas si se te dificulta de hecho con el contenido que haces simplemente es como para una empresa pequeña. es sorprendente el nivel que podrias llegar existos!