BTS Revenge Page183-4 Redraft
Original version and my working redraft.
Even though I had the page practically finished, them walking away and then coming back just felt too choppy so I'm moving things around to keep it one conversation.
I stilll need to iron out the dialogue so the draft page will likely be changed significantly but it gives you an idea of where I'm going with it.
The plan is to add in a couple more pages to the confrontation, cass not trying to step in more also felt out of character so that's an aspect I'm working on, + some extra shaming to showcase just how far lex has come.
Thanks for your patience! 🙏
Comments (3)
Amazing work as always :) I wonder if there’s going to be a buffet at the prom…..
Always a treat to see BTS stuff, and I do think I like the final page the most out of them- though that intimate angle in the V1.1 is honestly hot as heck :D Kinda makes me wonder if one or more of the squad are meanies to Lexi because they can't face how utterly attracted they are to her fat! Cass standing up for Lexi does certainly line up with her character, and perhaps a little handsy reassurance to contrast the rough treatment all that flab has been getting ;) If there's anything any of us can do to help, just say the word! I hope you're taking care of you too Annonnxyz :)
Yeah I like the direction of the revised page more. Feels like in the first one it was going to be over and done with too quickly. Especially if this moment is meant to impact what happens later. Can’t wait for the complete one!