DIRECTOR'S CUT: TERMINATOR 2 and Difficult Parents
What do you do when you and your parent just don't connect? When they're critical, and you just want comfort?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright talk about the relationship between Sarah Connor (the RIPPED Linda Hamilton) and her son John Connor (the intensely 90's-haired Eddie Furlong) in Terminator 2. They talk about Sarah's PTSD, her harsh treatment of her son in an attempt to keep him safe, and John's need for connection (which leads to a friendship with robot Arnold Schwarzenegger) and coming to terms with who his mother is. Alan opens up about how this relates to his own relationship with his mother, and Jonathan shares thoughts on how to deal with difficult parent-child relationships in healthy ways.
Comments (12)
This was brutal to get through and I'm so glad that Jono hugged Alan. My mom and I had a rough relationship because of my undiagnosed ADHD and she was a typical overwhelmed working mom. I was also very touch-starved and she didn't show much affection. We're a lot better now
I have been avoiding this episode because I knew it would hurt, but the October grab bag sent me here 🫠 Alan, thanks again for the reminder that what seemed normal to me growing up is actually far from normal and not okay. It's always nice to remember I'm not alone on the road to healing. Jono, thanks again for reminding me that I don't know my parents' whole story. I know they tried to do better than what they were given, and I'm doing everything I can to end the cycle of abuse with me.
People who came here after watching the October mystery basket episode ->
Raises hand and grins proudly
This episode is criminally underappreciated. Leaving aside that it’s T2 and SARAH CONNOR – one of the most badass movies and characters in history – we learn so much about Alan & Jono (though mostly Alan) in this one. It’s a true gem. Also, I’ve seen this one a couple times on YouTube previously, but watching the DC now is the first I’ve heard of Alan’s Emmy story … and ngl, I definitely get Erin. Responding to your child being nominated for three professional awards simultaneously with “you’re not gonna win”, even if meant with the best of intentions, is … wow.
I think your mum and my old man should get together and go bowling.
I avoided this episode for a long time. The only one I have never watched. I was afraid it was going to be too painful because of my own Mom. But Jono (bless him!) mentioned on Discord that it was one of the least watched episodes and we're missing out cause Alan gets RAW. I decided then and there that no matter what, I needed to brave that episode cause Alan has always been a safe space whenever he talks about his mother. So I did. And I am so glad. Thanks for being so open and vulnerable Alan. You put into words what I've felt for so long, but in a much better way. I've always described it as my Mom was not not Mom. At least she never felt like my Mom because she wasn't the one I needed. And to this day I still have a huge disconnect when it comes to our relationship. I can't have a mother-daughter relationship with her. But I can still have A relationship. So when Alan talked about the hole that was there, I got it. And when he said "it's good", I got that too. I was definitely #cryingwithAlan. And thanks for giving him that hug, Jono. I felt like I got one too. I'm going to be a mess the rest of the day, but I know that this was something that I needed to do and stop running from it. Thank you. Everyone needs to watch this episode. This needs to be the most watched episode of the channel. 😁
Thank you for your story
Holy hell, I wasn't ready. More people need to watch this episode. I was internally screaming from my chair, begging for someone, anyone, to hug Alan. Jono gets a lot of praise for being the tender hearted person that he is, but Alan, this show works even better because you're around to balance out that tenderness with a wonderful dose of sarcasm that is often needed. Even still, it was wonderful to see you be vulnerable here. Thank you for lowering your walls just a little bit for us fans. We may all be strangers, but that doesn't mean you're alone.
I couldn’t agree more. Seeing someone else be vulnerable and “real” the way Jono is here reminds me that it’s ok to be the same. Watching a movie like T2 and letting a floodgate of tears flow is not weird or unmanly, it’s, well, real and acceptable. I’m so glad I found this channel, and even more glad to be supporting y’ll as a patreon.
Hi, I watch the episodes a bit randomly and tonight I chose Terminator for some reason and... waw it definitely resonated with me. What Alan described with his mother is very similar to my relationship with my father. Not close to what happens in the film but my parents escaped a country in civil war, they survived and all they wanted for us was security and stability. So I understand why my father was tough. I am happy to say that I've arrived at a place where I understand him better, I forgave him a long time ago and we have a wonderful relationship, especiallly now that I am a mother. All I want is create new memories full of love and I'm not afraid to initiate the hugs or other demonstration of affection when I need it, even if it is still very awkward for him.Whatever they have done, we still love our parents. Thank you for this episode Alan and Jono.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing that and in giving this episode some love!