Therapy Deep Dive: Thriving in Hard Times

I think for me, what gets me through at this age, is knowing everything I have gotten through in the past: the heartache, the health issues, the lonely days, the people who belittled me and made me question my self-worth for a time. I know I came through it. What I found on the other side of all of that has been a life filled with love and joy. Not because of what has happened since then, though much of it has been good. But because I chose to find moments of gratitude and even glimpses of happiness even at my lowest, and that kept me going through the worst days.

I try to focus on each day as it comes and taking care of myself because I am worth the investment

I have autism and I volunteer to share my experiences with autism

One of my big go-to’s is thinking of my life as “seasons,” and asking myself which one I’m in before making a mantra/theme for it that I repeat a lot. Like, Is this a spring where I’ve come out of something difficult and need to celebrate that/think how to others the new bounty of time/energy/resources that I now have? The mantra might be as simple as “Pursue joy.” Is it a summer where things have pretty good for a while so it’s a good time to push myself/challenge my limits in order to accomplish the things I want? Ex: “Pursue excellence,” or “Be the BAMF.” 😂 Is it a fall where I’m not in the trenches yet, but I need to be careful about balancing things so I have the mental/physical/emotional/material resources I will need to endure what’s coming? Ex: “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” Or is this my winter where everything feels dark, cold, lonely, hard, etc. and all my efforts need to be focused on surviving until the spring comes again? This is typically where I need the mantra most, and my personal go-to mantra in a “winter” is the Hannibal (ancient Carthaginian general, not the serial killer 😅) quote: “I shall either find a way or make one.”

For me, the best way I learned to give myself self love and self care is actually to date myself. You never realize how much you change and contort yourself to please others until you don't have to do it. I like to take a favorite food to a place in nature and commune on my dates. Either soaking in the ocean or climbing to my favorite cliff face and letting the wind blow as hard as it can at me. Always helps to center me. As for how do I keep going during hard times? I think the real answer to that one is pathological demand avoidance. 😅 My family always told me I would fail, so even now any time I get close to giving up or quitting, I just remind myself that if I do, they win and suddenly I have all new energy to finish.

I can get over hard times faster if I have someone to vent/whine to. Often it's my mom even though I'm almost 44. Other trusted friends will listen to me as well. I let myself feel the frustration and anger and then put on my big girl pants and deal with it. I also rely on my faith a lot to help me deal with whatever is going on. I know that's not everyone's thing but I find great comfort and strength in it.

I love that this is still CT and all the movie images and comparisons that were made. This was wonderful. Thanks Jono!

I’m listening to this in the shower and all of these just hit super freaking hard. I’ve been in a weird spiral that has been hitting me so hard. I’ll come back later but thank you guys for this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

One of the things that has kept me going in dark times is faith in myself. Faith doesn't make it easier, it makes it *possible*.