☕️ Coffee Confessional #1 | So I guess I'm an orphan now.

Well that was an audio like no other. I listened right the way through, until you turned off the mic - sometimes with tears streaming silently down my face: and me a grown man! I am new, I did read your "i'm not okay" text a couple of weeks ago but I must say that it was much better to hear it straight from you, in your cute Canadian girl voice as if we were having coffee together somewhere. It was so kind of you to share that with us and I am sure it took a lot of courage to sit down and record it. I hope it helped you in your healing process, as I listened it gave me pause to remember fondly my own mother who passed away from cancer a number of ago now so sometimes you may do more good than you know. So don't get me wrong, I signed up for all the erotic audios and and I don't know any girl who would actually say to my face the kind of things that you stream into my ears (and I love you for that) but we aren't all about that all the time. I have a wonderful step daughter whom I just adore and listening, I felt a bit like I do when I go for coffee with her and she tells me how she is doing. In short, thanks for taking the time to share this and don't be shy to do this again should you feel the need. BTW it gets better and you also start to realize that it's made you stronger as well. ❤️

I just want to say that you sharing the details of your year away -- touching accounts of your mom's illness and your aunt as your roommate -- makes you a real flesh and blood person and increases our appreciation of what you do and what you create. Cannot wait for the next episode of OOC and maybe some thinking you've done about "consensual porn." Much love -- the Yanks

Glad to hear your voice again, your mom sounds awesome. Each of your OOC talks feel like a little oasis of truth on the internet. No matter how rough they get it's comforting to know that something is real and matters.

Hi Audi, Been a supporter and lurker for a good while, and I thought this would be a good time to post my first comment (and hello from a fellow Canuck). First off, I’m so sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing with us. But even more so that you chose to share not only your grief but also your fond memories of your mom; just having the privilege of listening to someone recall happy (and sometimes the sad) memories of someone close to them, even from total strangers, is heartwarming. Even for just the tiniest window. It reminds us that even total strangers from the internet have their own experiences and lives so different and yet sometimes similar to our own. She seemed like a wonderful person and I’m glad you two had the time you had, however much I wish you two had more. I also resonate with what you said about dreams. As my dad fell further into his dementia, amidst the mounting stress of taking care of him with my mom, I started having dreams about him too. It was almost always just "normal" things, talking, eating, just hanging out. Then, I would wake up… and just start bawling. Real life was just so much different and so much worse. "Normal" no longer existed. But... my mom and I visited him one day in his new care home, and for a tiny moment, he had the biggest smile and he gave me the biggest hug. I knew at that moment that I was still his son, even for just the briefest speck of time. This moment impacted me so much and cemented my feeling (even if it’s sometimes hard) that these small moments are the most precious of our lives. Even in the hardest times. While I sometimes still cry after one of these dreams, I know that I’ll be carrying and cherishing those memories and dreams forever, and I'm eternally grateful for that. Keep those moments with your mom, and she'll live on with you. We’ll be here for you, but always, always take care of yourself. Hugs and love.

It's a little different, but there's a song by Ben Folds and Nick Hornby called Picture Window about a mother of a chronically ill child in the hospital seeing New Years fireworks and trying and failing to suppress the feelings of hope. It's my go-to "I need to cry for a while" song, and it really helps when I feel disconnected from my emotions.

We love you so freaking much.

Hey Audi, I'm really really sorry to hear about your loss and the passing of your mother, I hope that in sharing the story it helps it feel maybe a little bit better? Also I wanted to say that your mother sounds a lot like my mother-in-law who is also currently dying of cancer we were told that she has multiple myeloma and it is treatable not curable and like your mother she also doesn't want to be kept alive via a machine and hearing your story and what you had to go through, it's comforting and helpful to hear maybe a little bit of what to expect? So once again I really appreciate you sharing your story and talking about her and what you went through. I'm also in the process of losing my dad's mom she at this point cannot eat on her own she can't drink on her own she can't really speak anymore she can barely make noises anymore and she's really really skinny she's lost a lot of weight so once again it's been really helpful and nice to hear a bit of what to expect? So thank you again for sharing. P S. Love all of your audios and what you do, for months I've listened to your stuff on pornhub and I figured out about your patreon recently and I'm really glad that I did and that I signed up, my wife is also on antidepressants and so I understand how that can be and going off them, and Welcome back❤️.