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Hello, my dear Patrons,
It's been quite a while since my last post, and I apologize for the silence. A lot has happened in that time, and my mind has been preoccupied with some difficult personal matters. I want to take a moment to explain everything that's been going on.
July started off as a wonderful month. Right after releasing the latest update, I quickly got to work writing the script for the next one and even began rendering the first images. Things were looking good, and I felt motivated and excited about the project. In the middle of the month, I took a much-needed vacation with my family, and we spent two beautiful weeks in Spain. It was a time to relax, recharge, and enjoy some quality moments together.
However, everything changed when I returned home. Shortly after getting back, I received a call from my grandma. She asked me to come and help her with some medical appointments. She lives 400 km away, and I was still exhausted from our trip, so I asked if it would be okay to come the next day. She agreed, and I planned to drive to her first thing in the morning.
The next day, I set out to see her, but when I tried calling her during the journey, her phone was dead. When I arrived at her place, I found that I couldn't open the door, and her phone was still unresponsive. I started to worry. After speaking with her neighbors and calling my dad, we decided to call the police. They arrived and managed to open the door, and that’s when we found her unconscious in the bathroom with a large bruise on her forehead.
We rushed her to the hospital, and after a series of tests, the doctors confirmed she had suffered a stroke. She had been lying there for hours, and they said it was a miracle she was still alive. Thus began the battle to keep her alive. For three agonizing weeks, it was a rollercoaster of emotions. There were moments when she seemed to be improving, and others when we feared we were losing her. The doctors didn't give us much hope, but we refused to give up. We transferred her to a better hospital closer to my home, hoping for a miracle.
I'm still finding it hard to talk about this... My grandma passed away on September 2nd, never regaining consciousness. Her funeral was four days later. I tried to stay connected, I even reached out to Nyzerion to let him know I was still here, but it was before she passed. After that, I just couldn't bring myself to think about anything else.
The hardest part is the lingering guilt — wondering if things might have been different if I had gone to her the day she first called me. That thought haunts me every day.
I’m slowly trying to get back to my routine. I’m starting work again tomorrow and, to keep my mind occupied, I’ve begun working on the game. It helps to focus on something else, to ease the pain, even if just a little.
I’m truly sorry for disappearing without any word. I hope you understand the situation I’ve been through.
Karabinek
Comments (16)
there's no words .i think all our hearts are heavy take care of yourself
So sorry for your loss. Don't feel obliged to update for now, you need to focus on you and your family. Take care, and condolences once again to you all
My deepest condolences. I also lost my grandmother to a series of strokes many years ago.
I am very, very sorry to hear that. I went through a similar situation with my own grandmother when I was 16 years old, going to high school. My grandmother, my Dad’s mother, suffered from a stroke apparently while she was resting in bed, so she didn’t fall on the ground or any hard surface, thankfully, though she still had to be rushed to the hospital. My Dad told me how she kept waking up in her hospital room, asking, “Why am I here? I feel fine.” My dad and I went to the hospital where she was kept and I saw for myself the state she was in, saying that same exact phrase again after she woke up again from her sleep. I just felt confused, scared, helpless, and I just didn’t know what to do or say in that moment except to hope and pray for the best. As time went by, the doctors said she seemed to be getting better as the days went on, but in the end, she passed away in her sleep. She lived to be 92 years old. I hope you’re doing okay and I also hope that you know that you are not alone with what you’re going through right now. We are all here for ya.
i feel with you, was in the same place 7 years ago and today i'm in daily fear to find my dad. take your time, is what they most say, but it also helps to work, at least over the day, what the evening and night brings, is on another paper.
My condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. Family and health are always the priority. Don't feel guilty; you just came back from a trip. It was an understanding situation you were in. Take all the time you need. Sending you all the best wishes, strength, and love to get through this ❤. Thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult times 🙏🏻. We'll be here for you if you need us, Karabinek!
Sorry to hear that news, but I will give it to you straight. That stroke would have happened with or without you there. The fall and head injury could have been changed do to your presence or it could have been worse. Let go of any guilt, this is one of the hard parts of life. I speak from experience having lost a both my parents, a sister, brother and the worse by far my son. Even today we stay ask, could I have changed things. Reality tells me no, but the heart still wants to say yes. There are to many mayby's, if and/or's in life to let things hold you back. Treasure those you still have and live your life.
What happened would have happened regardless of your presence or not. My sympathy is with you on this rough occasion.
Sorry for your loss. Take the the time that you need, the memories you have with her will always be with you. Stay strong.
So sorry for your loss. take care of yourself and those around you. Take the time you need.
good evening for my part I believe that each of us has their own moment and that when it arrives regardless of what one does or does not do there is nothing to do so do not feel guilty condolences
My deepest condolences, take the time you need, losing grandparents is not easy, the more memories you have with them... Keep your head up even if it takes time! =)
I know about what you're talking. My mother passed away at 1.6. this year and then my brother too. He lived in Thailand for 2 years and passed away in July. I'm still working on their will and beleave: its very very difficult. Therefore I wish you all the best for you and your family. Stay strong for them
hey take your time and trust me i know how you feel i went though loss and other things in july to. So dont rush and take your time getting back in.
It would be presumptious of me to claim I understand your pain. Every person experiences loss differently, so yours is unique. We lost my mother to a massive stroke in 2019 (and both my dad and mother in law in 2022). I can't tell you that this will get better. I still sometimes have the "I must tell my mother about this" thought - then a second later remember I can't. But like scar tissue, you learn to live with the emotions. Take your time. Remember to tell those around you how they matter to you. It will make you feel better. Learn to continue living.
sorry for your loss, take all the time you need, and take it easy