Ch.160 Fukaya Ruru, Whose Eyes has Gone Dark

Ruru's Monologue

"I'm sorry Haru-chan I knew all along that you didn't like me showing up unannounced at your house."

"But you always acted like an older brother who spoiled me because I was a younger girl so I ended up taking advantage of your kindness."

"Of course I also heard that Haru-chan was a man who turned into a cute tiny girl so I thought that I could be of some help as a girl myself."

"But even that wasn't really necessary for Haru-chan and besides it's been a year since you became a girl so even when I barged into the bathroom your face didn't even turn red."

"Why don't you see me as a girl?"

"That's not it I caused trouble and I was helped so I have to repay the favor."

"Otherwise I thought the first person who ever truly saw me for who I was as someone who'd always been called a disgusting monster at school and never had any friends would leave me."

"I knew that if I wanted to repay your kindness I couldn't and the best thing to do would be to occasionally give books that I thought Haru-chan would find unusual."

"But I didn't stop I knew that if I didn't push forward now Haru-chan would definitely distance herself from me and forget about me quickly."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"Haru-chan, who helped me back then."

"Was a hero."

"So cool."

"So cute."

"At that time I was scared that I was going to die but at the same time I was relieved that the days of everyone looking at me with disdain and the sad time when my mom and dad kept their distance from me would finally be over."

"I wanted to die."

"But that didn't happen."

"You helped me."

"That's why I barged into your house, then your hotel, and then your new house."

"I barged into the bathroom because I wanted to be seen as a girl."

"That made me happy because Haru-chan was embarrassed."

"Because that'd mean you saw me as a girl from a man's perspective."

"I know Haru-chan is a sensible person so you wouldn't fall for someone like me who isn't sexy or has a feminine figure."

"But I wanted you to get a little turned on because that might be a way of repaying your kindness."

"But then you told me I was beautiful, and I was completely swooning."

"I've fallen even more in love with you."

"I wonder why Haru-chan says things that make my heart race."

"Maybe it's because I read a lot of books."

"You lost your job and I caused you to spend tens of millions of yen so I tried to help you grow your streaming channel as a way of repaying you."

"But in the end Haru-chan easily surpassed me just by being herself even though I had researched streaming and things like that so much."

"Of course, because Haru-chan is a beautiful girl who was originally a handsome man there's no way the whole world would want to miss her."

"That's obvious since tou risked your live to save me, a complete stranger, so surely everyone must have noticed Haru-chan's charm at some point."

"But I didn't like the time when you rescued Lili-chan and got out."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"Even though I'm not your girlfriend I get jealous and holding a bad feeling for no reason."

"But I just couldn't stop myself at the thought of losing my Haru-chan made me feel like I was going to fall apart."

"I talked to Emi-chan and Chiho-chan about these feelings and managed to keep them under control but this is really true believe me please believe me."

"But whenever Haru-chan spoke to me you would always look at me, listen to me, and say it was okay for me to be there, which made me happy."

"You're surrounded by feminine girls like Lili-chan, Emi-chan, and Chiho-chan, so when Haru-chan turns back into a man, I don't care what number I am, so please choose me."

"Nevermind."

"I just can't stand anything less than being number one."

"I don't like it unless I can have you all to myself."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"But even so I had so much fun in the dungeon that No Name-chan invited you to that I couldn't help but enjoy adventuring with Haru-chan for days."

"But Haru-chan really was a hero, a prince, and a princess all at once."

"You even managed to take down such a huge dragon in the end."

"You sensed danger and got Emi-chan and Lili-chan to leave."

"I thought you'd go to the Wishing Spring with me and come back."

"But Haru-chan was just too kind that you're more worried about us than about you urning back into a man."

"So before I knew it Haru-chan had used up your chance to become a man again for me."

"Why?"

"I'm worthless."

"Why Haru-chan? I'm not worth that much."

"Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan..."

(TL: This is somehow harder to tl than a single 5k+ words chapter...)

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3rd Person POV

"...Fukaya Ruru-san is suffering from severe PTSD. Probably..."

"...Yes. Right in front of her eyes, twice...and this time too..."

A hospital room.

The doctor and Fukaya Ruru'a friends were watching her, who lay in bed, seemingly unaware of the light and sound.

"...Ruru has always had a dangerous side to her. That's why, initially, we were even discussing separating her from Haru-san immediately if she didn't like it..."

"Because of No Name...san, or rather, the 'Curse.', she was practically isolated until high school...right?"

The concept of "curse" is in direct opposition to modern science.

However, the doctor in question—the doctor who examined "him who had become her"—had no reason to doubt from the start.

"Yes. I already told Chiho-san about it, but it wasn't even at the stage of bullying. It was an environment where people were afraid to even 'touch' or 'be noticed' by her... She was clearly treated like a pariah, so as not to make her feel uncomfortable."

"That's..."

"...An 'misfortune' for which the reason was unknown. And if those closest to her are more likely to get caught up in it, then perhaps if you treat her with malice..."

Fukaya Ruru's "unfortunate" life.

Kushima Chiho, who had known about it through live streams before meeting her in person, imagined it... and shivered involuntarily.

Even though we now know her as the beloved character "No Name-chan" on the internet, there's still something unfathomable about her.

"...And by having her join our party and act cheerfully, we can portray her as a 'clumsy, unlucky girl'..."

"Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan Haru-chan..."

Fukaya Ruru muttered to herself.

Everyone just stared into her dark eyes until she grew tired of talking.

"...From now on, counseling will be the main treatment while we monitor the progress. Unfortunately, when it reaches a level like Fukaya Ruru's, psychiatric medication may not be an option..."

"I see... Treating PTSD takes time. Especially since she hasn't yet come to terms with the situation of witnessing the death of someone she loved. We will be there for her while she regains her sanity."

For most of the day, she just looks a little down.

However, once it gets to this point...it won't stop until all her feelings have been expressed.

The darkness in her heart will not heal until "he" returns.

◇◆◇

"So, this is what Ruru was like until Haru-san came back."

"Ehh..."

"Stop it already! Emi-chan!"

"I'm really glad..."

"It's hard to imagine that from the Ruru-san we see now."

"I said stop it! Delete the recording!"

"No, that won't do. We don't know when that might happen again, so Haru-san needs to be fully aware of it."

"...Just in moderation, okay...?"

—This conversation will take place in the near future.

This won't happen until "he" comes back.

"But Haru-san... that must have been really tough for you."

"Yes. I never imagined something like that would happen."

The initial excitement of reuniting has subsided somewhat, and a relaxed atmosphere prevails.

There, "he" recounted the strange world that "he" has experienced.

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