ADHD brains that start fights because we're bored

I don't know if I'd call it "picking a fight because I'm bored," but I've definitely waited to bring up big, emotional issues in relationships until it's boiled over at INCREDIBLY inappropriate times. Like after a parent's death levels of inappropriate. I feel like that's less about me being bored and more about being unable to contain the feelings after years of conflict avoidance (and obviously terrible impulse control).

I feel like the concept of "picking a fight" is the part I have trouble with. I'm never looking for an argument, I'm just trying to respectfully disagree, or point out a perspective I think has been neglected, or share how I feel. I absolutely do these things less when I'm not bored, but it's hard to judge whether that's better or worse.

This was me pretty frequently in grad school. Asking professors to explain their reasoning, challenging them when things didn't make sense. It was the only way I could get through some classes, even though it made a few of them dislike me. At least my classmates found it amusing.